rw-sigh...well that didn't take long (ParentStuff)

I'm upset/crying again because I had to call the dh and tell him. I wrote the principal, who actually knows me and chats with me often...about it...and asked for his input. He sent back an email almost immediately saying he would be meeting with her today and have more info for me by the end of today. He sounded kind of p**sed LOL. I am worried she'll be a witch to him the rest of the year.

I dont' want to excuse Eli if he needs extra help, I want him to do well...but I do not want him labeled. She asked me that when he was THERE, in the classroom...along with several peers. It's so upsetting.

Yes Karen Elias is very loving and sweet with us many times...he holds those puppies so gently and talks about how cute they are and what he is going to name them and he was so sad when the girls were killed. I cannot see a disconnect from his feelings or social things...he just is introverted with others and can have a temper. I am so torn on this.

But I am doing the screening...school provided and independant as well. I want to know and more importantly..speak with people who ACTUALLY know what they're talking about.

Oh, I am so sorry this witch got you so upset...like you haven't been on enough emotional rollercoasters lately.

If you even get a hint of her treating Eli any differently and in a bad way I would demand they move him to a new class.  I am sure the principal is irrate that she did this.  Is she a new teacher?

Does this teacher have an autism endorsement?  My DH is an el ed special ed teacher (w/ endorsements) and even HE would know better than to just blantantly say that he thinks a student has autism, after less than a week.  He is trained how to teach these kids but even he is not qualified to make that diagnosis.  Maybe she has good intentions and thought she was trying to help but that just seems really odd to me, to just come out and say that to you like that.

mrstjohnson

If you even get a hint of her treating Eli any differently and in a bad way I would demand they move him to a new class.  I am sure the principal is irrate that she did this.  Is she a new teacher?

No...I think she has been there a long time. She was definitely there 2 years back when Lily went thru 1st. She is tall and elegant and I always thought she looked very nice. I mean she WAS nice...she didn't ridicule, it was just...so the wrong way to say or ask that! Maybe something more for a private phone call or conference...*sigh*

My Momma Grizzly self is out right now, and looking to tear someone apart. I have to push her back down...lol.

I had a teacher tell me one time, that my son was "Stupid"!  It was all I could do to keep from decking her!!!!!  My hubby said this normally passive small lady that he loves changed in a flash.....lol!  She said she caught him staring off or looking out the windows and I told her, there was nothing wrong with my son....he cannot stay focused if he is "Bored out of his mind"  None of his other teachers were having a problem maybe she could come up with a way to make class interesting so she could hold his and probably many other students attention!!!!

Now, my son is 33 and he is the
Vice President of Systems Operations for a Large Abstract Co.   Sure wish I knew where that teacher was I would throw it in her face.   This is the only teacher in his whole school time that even suggest anything was wrong!

OK, Gina, take a nice deep breath!  Ooohhhhhhmmmmm!

I remember last year when the teacher said something about Eli not being good with the scissors or something like that and it got you thrown all out of whack.  I know this is a much more serious thing for this teacher to say, but try to stay focused on the big picture.  Just like last year, you will figure out what you need to work on at home to improve things, and work on it and roll with the punches.  I do not think the way in which the teacher addressed that was right at all, but forget her.  If you feel she is unprofessional, I would ask to have it discussed with the principal, and possible have Eli moved.  Most likely, now that this has been brought to someone's attention, it will never happen again and was just a case of bad judgement on her part. 

You know your son, she doesn't.  Your pediatrician gave you great advice.  I would get him tested both places to put your worries at ease, and if they find something, you will work with it.  He will be fine, you will be fine.  Thankfully, your children have a mother and a father that will advocate for them and get done whatever needs to be done.  Momma Grizzly's come out so easily when dealing with our precious children.

rwbeagles

My Momma Grizzly self is out right now, and looking to tear someone apart. I have to push her back down...lol.

It's a long drive, but I got your back!

yes you're right, I did freak out last year about this time too.

I have to say, the K teacher was so much nicer and helpful about it tho.  This is...different to me because it is a disorder that could affect him the rest of his life...and set him apart. I could work with him to use the scissors as well as anyone else and the problem would be solved. This..not so much..it wouldn't ever go away or be "fixed".

That's just me freaking out. I know I freaked...I know I did...but I just cannot have people making him feel "less" than anyone else. No one's child should ever feel that way, ever.

The good thing in this is yes, he WILL be screened and we will get what we get out of that...but I think it was important to say something to her boss, because things like that, hurt...and even tho it wasn't intentional I don't think she wants to continue hurting people...esp people she will want to help her and work with thruout the year to come.

Be interesting to see where this leads. I am now dreading picking him up. I will have to wear my armor...*sigh* I wish I didn't cry when I got mad...it's very counter productive.

boneyjean

You know your son, she doesn't.  Your pediatrician gave you great advice.  I would get him tested both places to put your worries at ease, and if they find something, you will work with it.  He will be fine, you will be fine.  Thankfully, your children have a mother and a father that will advocate for them and get done whatever needs to be done.

 If anything at all... other than maybe requesting a new teacher if you suspect/fear she might be a witch to him all year.  I rather think she might curb her attitude, but regardless, there's bound to be other options and it sounds like your principal is right on it!  Thank goodness you're a pro-active mom who has built relationships in the school.

I love your pediatrician, too. :D

rwbeagles

This is...different to me because it is a disorder that could affect him the rest of his life...and set him apart. I could work with him to use the scissors as well as anyone else and the problem would be solved. This..not so much..it wouldn't ever go away or be "fixed".

This is exactly why this incident should have been brought to the attention of the principal which you have already done.  I think her actions were completely inappropriate.  She should have discussed this with you in a private conference b/c of the nature of what she was telling you and probably had a counselor or someone else present that it had already been discussed with before upsetting you as a parent.  I guess the power of suggestion here is so strong that of course it has highly upset you, but I wouldn't put too much stock in what she said as far as her thinking he is autistic.  Leave that to the professionals to determine.  That teacher just didn't know who she was dealing with...and will probably be very sorry in the long run!  :)  I am much closer if you need me to get your back!

rwbeagles

This is...different to me because it is a disorder that could affect him the rest of his life...and set him apart. I could work with him to use the scissors as well as anyone else and the problem would be solved. This..not so much..it wouldn't ever go away or be "fixed".

Whoa, slow down.

Whatever he has (if anything) can't be too much to of a big deal or your pediatrician would already have picked up on it.  So I would go into the screening with the assumption that whatever (if anything) they come up with is going to be relatively minor.  And very often even things that aren't totally fixable can be dealt with by learning some coping strategies.  Hang in there.

oh Myra...no I wasn't meaning that's what I actually think lies ahead for my boy...but it is like what most people would think when someone randomly asks them if their child has Autism...it's kind of a big thing to take in...and you do think about it affecting them the rest of their lives. If you missed something huge or something lol...

I agree...he's functioning well enough in a public school eviron that he passed K and grew up a lot this summer too...but it was more the "impression" of her casually tossed around question that I was trying to get at...not my real actual opinion...hope that makes at least a little sense lol.

Gina, I am so sorry that the teacher behaved like that.  It's terribly inappropriate & totally uncalled for after only 4 days of school.

Our youngest has been labeled as "mildy autistic" since he was in kindergarten.  In reality, he is ADHD and dyslexic, but he has shown no signs of autism, & all the testing that he underwent this summer confirmed that he is not autistic. 

FWIW, I'm about 3 hours away & would happily drive up to "back you up" if need be.

On behalf of teachers and support personnel, I apologize.  That should have never happened and your contact with the principal was right on target.  With all the media exposure and the stats for autism, lots of folks in education believe they are "experts".  Nothing could be further from the truth.

In a perfect world (or if you want to move to my district , the teacher would have talked to the principal about a concern (Eli's is a bit different when he is stressed).  They would casually start working on ways to make him feel more comfortable.  If it didnt seem to change, then you would be contacted and a team would sit down to get more information from the expert (you) and you would guide us in finding strategies to use for Eli.  As time progressed those strategies would increase in complexity (or decrease) based on his performance in school.  My bet is your principal has just such an idea in mind.

PM with  any questions you might have.

I'm not as close as Amanda, but if you need reinforcements, let me know. I'd be reacting the same way you are, including the tears. I don't have children but I can fully understand the protective instinct. I'm betting you'll be getting an apology from the teacher and I doubt she'd be stupid enough to make matters worse by treating Eli differently or worse than others.

FWIW - a show I love, Army Wives, just had an episode where a boy about Eli's age was diagnosed by his teacher has having a learning disability. The mom was devastated. She's dyslexic and had struggled in school herself. She had her son testend and it turned out that he was actually gifted and about 2 grade levels ahead of his peers

Hang in there. We're all aunties to Eli and will be right beside you all the way (((HUGS)))