rw-sigh...well that didn't take long (ParentStuff)

Thank you for this post....it helps a lot. I know this situation, is in no way representative of teachers or schools in general...just one person who probably is wishing she'd acted differently right about now LOL. I like your perfect world

boneyjean

I remember last year when the teacher said something about Eli not being good with the scissors or something like that and it got you thrown all out of whack.  I know this is a much more serious thing for this teacher to say, but try to stay focused on the big picture.  Just like last year, you will figure out what you need to work on at home to improve things, and work on it and roll with the punches. 

You know... you just described my BF as a child (according to his mother). Even down to having trouble with the scissors! BF was shy, but could be very moody, and had a low tolerance for frustration. He often showed a temper, and had trouble making friends. He was also very "sensitive" and took criticism very harshly.

He also had nightmares most nights and couldn't sleep unless he crawled into bed with his parents - up until he was about 8!

When they finally had him tested, it showed he had no "disorders" but was exceptionally bright for his grade level, and just needed extra help socially. BF's mother took him to a psychologist, with a long list of complaints (lol), and the psychologist basically said, "We can work on the social stuff, but why are you bringing him to me? He's fine!"

Now he's quite the social butterfly, even does presentations well at work without being too nervous, and almost disturbingly normal. Oh, and he learned to use scissors just fine (though until the 5th grade, every time he had a scissors-related homework assignment, his mother would cheat and help him!).

I think the testing is a good idea (can't hurt, right? would make you feel better!), but I'm sure Elias will be just fine. 

well she apologized as I picked up Eli...she didn't want to, I could tell. She said "I am sorry I offended you, I wasn't trying to label...just ask questions so we could help him out". I am underwhelmed, but I accepted it and told her we are getting him screened and we also want to help him being that we are HIS PARENTS and that's kind of our job.

Still wondering what the Principal will have to say.

Sounds very underwhelming.  I'm curious if she apologized in front of him, too, the dip.

I'm going to share this now.  As a person living in TX, please don't be offended, but.... when I was about 2, we lived in Texas outside Dallas.  My older sister was in school and the teacher asked her to spell "pen", which she did correctly.  However, in her Texas drawl, the teacher refuted, insisting "p-i-n" was what she wanted, even after confirming "the one you write with".  My mother is bigger than a Grizzly Momma, Lioness, and every other protective mom you can think of all put together.  She personally visited the school and gave that woman a verbal assault this side of legal.  Because we're originally from New Hampshire and the people there would ask if that was "near Dallas", she gave up and just went around known as "That Yankee Lady".  We did not last long in Texas, BECAUSE of the school system.  Clearly, that was 30 years ago, but it sticks out in my mind.

Dumb story, I know, but it made me think of mom's protecting their children from questionable TX teachers. 

 Gina, if it helps? Think how much potential GOOD stuff you can get from the testing. I'm on the spectrum and wish they'd picked up on it when I was in school, because it would have made a lot of learning-style stuff easier (I have perfectly good hearing, just terrible trouble processing with background noise, etc). ASDs are the flavor of the month, but the high end spectrum stuff is pretty darn common.

 The teacher probably apologized because she was told to do it.

FWIW, I am getting a client who is for the purposes of the my services, diagnosed with PDD-NOS, which is an autism spectrum disorder. I am providing these services to him in school, during the school day, and he also gets some hours of the same type of service in home. However, even though I am providing him a service based on this diagnosis, and providing it in school, he does not have a diagnosis as far as the school is concerned. On the other hand, you can often get more services these days for a diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder, than any other disorder. The service I am providing, you get a 6 month authorization if you have autism, but only 4 if you have anything else. The state also wants you out within a year, but if you have autism, they realize for some reason realize it takes you longer to learn new behaviors, and you might need a few years. Autism might get you more in TX too. They aren't going to tell you that, but it's been the motivation behind more than one diagnosis that I know of.

So ... just exactly how is a kid just starting first grade supposed to have any idea of what *timely manner* means  when it comes to finishing something? How many of us start something and don't finish it for a few days?  I started cleaning out the top closet shelves six months ago and I'm still not finished.  Hmm.  Maybe I should have myself checked.

Joyce

rwbeagles

but how many do you display before you ARE lol.

It's a spectrum, so I suppose if you have quite a few you are a bit autistic and if you have lots and lots then you are very autistic....? 

I know it's frustrating because people do have this "need" to stick labels on kids, but if a child does have autism or Aspergers, it's important that it's realised early on. Two of my nephews have Aspergers (high functioning autism) and the younger one has been diagnosed early,whereas the elder one didn't get diagnosed till later, and it did make alot of stuff very hard for him. The younger definitely has an advantage, in that his parents knew some of the signs and got him diagnosed early... and even in the last few years, more people understand more about it and what it means to have it.  Don't panic.  It doesn't matter if he DOES have it, it's not a disease,

Early detection is a key to developing behaviors that enable an individual with such disorders to function more comfortably in a neuortypical world.  Aspergers and High functioning autism are not thought to be the same disorder per se due to the difference in language competence (the impact on the temporal lobe).  Folks with autism must have a substantial deficit in language function which is not always the case with those with Asperger's.  There are other disorders which also appear to be related which include ADD, non verbal learning disabilities.  Some of the newest stuff suggests some other disorders might be related as well.

The relationship (between disorders), if you call it that, is due to the impact on the brain regions, not always causation.  Many of the disorders we have been referring to in this discussion are related to executive functition.  This is often described as the conductor of your brain's orchestra.  It is in essence the ability to coordinate all of the skills and behaviors necessary to complete a task.  Executive function is a developing constellation of behaviors and are often the types of things (when they are not present) that start making teachers think a disability (not appropriate) or a referral (more likely appropriate) should occur.

 I have included a link from one of the best sites on executive function I have found to date.  It is written to describe the construct at multiple ages in the child. 

http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/News/Executive-Function-Part-One-What-is-executive-function.aspx?articleID=8024&categoryID=news-type

 I'm just going back to the origional question the teacher posed...how would that even cross her mind to ask something like that?  What was she expecting?  "Oh ya!  Did I forget to tell you?  Must have slipped my mind!"  Would that not be rather pertinant information to share with a teacher?  Ugh...