rw-sigh...well that didn't take long (ParentStuff)

rwbeagles

Elias's teacher said the "A" word to me this morning. *sigh* "Is he Autistic?"

Why in the world would she say that??  Did she give any reasons for asking ??

Deb W.

Gina - I am surprised that she would say that...really.  I mean if his pediatrician hasn't said anything yet then I would think he wasn't.  To be honest, this makes me mad.  It seems like people are always trying to label a child with "something".  Maybe he is just a boy that has a hard time paying attention or likes to keep to himself or is really active.  Maybe the teacher might have to give him 2 more seconds of attention because he isn't on meds like the rest of her students.  Sorry - but why does every kid who doesn't act perfect have to have something wrong with them.

MIL is trying to label Riley autistic because she hasn't talked yet and this stuff always just sets me off.  Not every child is going to act the same way...that's why we are people.

she said that she had given him a sign (bad mark) yesterday for not finishing something he was doing "in a timely manner". I didn't see it in his folder they send home so not sure why I didn't know about it...but she said he was "very upset" about it. Now I can see that...he doesn't like to get in trouble.

I don't wanna make excuses for Eli...he is an odd duck sometimes...and he DOES display some of the autism signs...but how many do you display before you ARE lol. He has no trouble relating to me or his family, he learns things quickly and they stay up there once he learns them...he doesn't always jump in to play with other kids, or even show much interest, but can't anyone be shy anymore without a diagnoses?

I dunno. I am looking around right now for resources...and I'll call his doc in a bit when she opens to see what she can recommend as far as referrals.

rwbeagles

He has no trouble relating to me or his family, he learns things quickly and they stay up there once he learns them...he doesn't always jump in to play with other kids, or even show much interest, but can't anyone be shy anymore without a diagnoses?

Exactly!!  It seems to me that if every child isn't like a Stepford child there is something wrong with them!!!    ARGGHHHH!!  This infuriates me.  Of course he was upset he got a bad mark, it's like the first week of school and he wants to do good.  OMG is the first frickin week of school.  She's known him for what 3 days and she's saying things like this based on that.  To me that is EXTREMELY irresponsible!

So the kid doesn't finish one assignment  . . . . .  and that means he's autistic ?????  That's kind of a leap IMO. 

Deb W.

What Deb said...

can I just say...I LOVE...my kids doctor?

She said..."if he had Autism it'd have shown up by now. Spectrum disorders can be more subtle...BUT that is something to be addressed by a professional...not a teacher who's known him 4 days. She should get a grip." LMAO!

She also said "Autism diagnosis is kinda still flavor of the month. Kids we diagnosed 5 years ago now we see were fine, just a little different...and that's okay. So don't label or think too much about it...get him screened but don't fixate and maybe consider talking to the school about that teachers comment"...

*feeling better*

I did schedule a screening...in December...soonest I could get it. Doc says I could get one thru the school as well...on my tax dollar so I will look into that as well.

mrstjohnson

rwbeagles

He has no trouble relating to me or his family, he learns things quickly and they stay up there once he learns them...he doesn't always jump in to play with other kids, or even show much interest, but can't anyone be shy anymore without a diagnoses?

Gina I'm sorry this half wit said this to you and about Eli.  If he has emotional attachments to humans and other living things (which he clearly does) he is not autistic. Period. 

mrstjohnson

Exactly!!  It seems to me that if every child isn't like a Stepford child there is something wrong with them!!!    ARGGHHHH!!  This infuriates me.  Of course he was upset he got a bad mark, it's like the first week of school and he wants to do good.  OMG is the first frickin week of school.  She's known him for what 3 days and she's saying things like this based on that.  To me that is EXTREMELY irresponsible!

If this teach knew much about autism she wouldn't see a child that is upset as a potential candidate. An '***' for sure.

I have worked with a ton of teachers who like to call all high energy kids ADHD, just not so.

Just another example of how the uber powerful pharmaceutical companies have pervaded and taken control over the US mindset. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

yes a soapbox issue.

For now I would see this teacher immediately and if they are not able to work with Eli in a productive manner - raise heck and get him moved to a teacher that will.  Don't delay

rwbeagles

Spectrum disorders can be more subtle...BUT that is something to be addressed by a professional...not a teacher who's known him 4 days.

Exactly.  Glad you're feeling better.

 Um... I'm surprised a teacher would just come out and say that so bluntly, and not just suggest you have him evaluated, or suggest that she would like to have the school evaluate him. FWIW, an evaluation never hurt anyone, and even if they don't confirm an autism diagnosis, you might find something else through it. I really do think you should also request the school to do an eval. First, if you request it, you will actually probably get it quicker. I can't remember the timeline for that, but unless they refuse it, they only have a certain number of days to do it in. The reason for this, in addition to them getting it done more quickly, is also that the school and the medical diagnosis do not have to be the same. A child can have a diagnosis medically, and not have one for school, or vice versa, or a different diagnosis in each place.

I would think also that the teacher would have more evidence than just this one event to think that. I mean, a lot of kids get upset about getting into trouble without having autism. Some kids with autism wouldn't care about getting into trouble like that, since having no immediate consequence other than a mark would mean nothing to those kids, and others yet would be done for the day upon getting a bad mark. Whether he has autism or not, there is something that can be done to help him recover from something like that so he can realize that it is not the end of the world, but he needs to do a little better.

Sheesh!   Teaching is a tough profession but labeling kids when you barely know them and aren't qualified in the first place is crazy.  I'd talk to the principal before this woman labels any more kids who might not have parents who are willing to question this sort of thing.  

rwbeagles

but how many do you display before you ARE lol.

Exactly, I could probably describe myself in a way that makes me sound Autistic!

In preschool, I was very very shy, never ever talked, sort of a loaner.  They wanted to hold me back.  My mom said no way, so I went on and ended up just taking a little longer to come out of my shell.  It probably didn't help that I've always been a year younger than many people in my classes.   But, my mom felt the same as many in this thread, that every child is different, every one has some quirks, that doesn't make them LD or autistic or impaired or whatever.  I started out a bit slower socially, but in the end it was fine.  I learned to read quickly and by 2nd grade, had friends and all that normal stuff.  My brother's "issue" was reading, it took forever for him to learn but my mom refused to put him in a "special" class or put him on meds or whatever, she just spent extra time with him at home.  He never was a good student, but now he works a trade and makes more money than I do!  School just wasn't his thing, so my mom helped him to what he needed to in order to get by but didn't push it.  A little patience goes a long way.

I don't even know your pediatrician and I love her too!! I agree that you should say something to the principal though.

 Oh my gosh, Gina, I am so offended for you.

Being upset at getting a bad mark for not finishing in time? Um, yeah, that would be me NOW. In fact, that is me, right this very moment, stressing that I don't have time to finish all the things I wanted to before my job ends - even though the expectations were unreasonable and I have received zero support/assistance from my supervisors or coworkers. I'm still pretty upset. Does that make ME autistic? Me, someone who is overly-sensitive to social signals and human interactions and is devoting my life to the study of social psychology? Utterly ridiculous.

I'm sorry that stupid woman made you uncomfortable. From everything you've said, Eli just sounds like a normal boy in the process of growing up. School is about so much more than academics - social growth is a HUGE part of it. You can't expect kids to start off as perfect little angels, clearly they're there to LEARN. Honestly.

Grrrrrrr!