Ideas on prenuptial agreements

Sometimes women are the eventual cheaters ---- but, let's face it folks, it's usually the man.

 
Hmm... Ok, so I am gonna have to go out on a limb here and say  that at least among all the cheating spouses I know...all but 1 was actually the woman... this includes my DH's ex who cheated throughout the 10 years of marriage to him while he remained faithful. 
I am not saying that men can#%92t be cheating bastards, it just isn#%92t always the men![]
 

Because he has been through a previous divorce and knows that the person you love most in the world you can learn to HATE if things go sour. He is an incredible man but knows his limitations and while I do not believe he could ever have such a dislike for me as he does for his ex (his dislike for her stems from her screwing up their kids after the divorce), he does not ever want to be in a situation where his emotions take over his reasoning skills. He would be truly asking for a prenup out of his love and respect for me

well it sounds like he is a good man, hoepfully you will never have to put a prenup to use.

ORIGINAL: rwbeagles


If I didn't trust a person then I wouldn't marry them.
If I wanted to keep my toys and not share them then I wouldn't marry anyone.
If I loved someone then I would want to give them and share with them...everything that I am and everything that I have. 
If I loved someone and it ended then I would be grateful I was well adjusted enough to have loved someone at all...aside from myself.
 
Perhaps if people were more open with each other, sharing and giving and less about what they want or need then divorce rates would go down some.

And when the divorce comes and you are in the street you would like to go back to the past and have one

I know a guy that paid his wife nursing school (he is a doctor) one day she decided that didnt want to continue with the marriage and the kept the huge house the shared, what a biatch

"Is not gonna happen to me, i dont need it"

I'm sure that's what people from New Orleans thought when they didnt ask for a flooding insurance []

I'm sure that's what people think when they find out they have AIDS because they didnt use protection

I'm sure thats what teenagers said when they are in the hospital for a drug overdose

If my wife decide to divorce me i would not take everything she has since she lost the best thing that she had (me []) but no everybody has as good heart as me, they have this philosophy of "ah you are leaving me? well i will leave you without anything"

I love my wife but you never know how they will react if one day they feel betrayed for whatever reason, i bet there is a lot of people out there that would never expect their couple to act that way either, ask Steven Spielberg if he would like to have one before his wife toke more than 100 million dollars from their divorce

A pre-nup is like an insurance, you wish and expect never have to use it but if you do you feel really smart because you had it (or dumb if you didnt) []

Ask Britney Spears if she regrets to have one with Kevin []

Sometimes women are the eventual cheaters ---- but, let's face it folks, it's usually the man.

if their wife would put out often enough they probably wouldnt be looking elsewhere. [sm=2cents.gif]

ORIGINAL: cyclefiend2000
if their wife would put out often enough they probably wouldnt be looking elsewhere. [sm=2cents.gif]

 
LOL.  To me, quality is more important than quantity but I guess your point would still apply.  []

Gina, that is all good and well and warm and fuzzy, UNLESS the marriage doesn't work out and a lawyer gets involved.

Agreed.  Things happen, and I agree if there's any concern that you'd want to protect your property from claims, then I'd seek out a lawyer's advice, too.  Doesn't mean you have to do anything, but find out the information pertinent to your situation.

ORIGINAL: probe1957

An attorney is best qualified to answer your question.  He will help you decide if you have assets worthy of protection in the event of a divorce.

I completely disagree with GayleMarie's comment, "marriage is not a legal process or agreement, it is an emotional and physical commitment of love and devotion."  Marriage is absolutely a legal process and it takes a legal process to dissolve it.  You can be married to someone you don't love.  You can love someone you aren't married to.

I am guessing that this is your first marriage.  For sure, if this one doesn't work, you will be far more careful with subsequent marriages and will think nothing of asking for a prenuptial agreement. 

Look out for yourself.  No one else will.

Instead of suggesting a pre-nup, why not just suggest a visit to an attorney who can simply advise you on your rights and responsibilities as a married couple - including estate, tax, and property rights, and how you BOTH protect yourselves, not just in the event of divorce (which you don't have to mention - let the atty do that), but throughout your married life.

Ouch.  I knew my statement wouldn't go over well.  []

I still, strongly suspect, it's more the men more often cheating with single women who are hoping to snag a man b/c "he's not happy at home, and is 'seperated'".

But, yeah, I admit married women cheat too.

if their wife would put out often enough they probably wouldnt be looking elsewhere. [sm=2cents.gif]

Well,  hmmpffp,

If men would do more housework without having to ask twice (that is a most popular love language, by the way), do it without grumbling, and throw in a little music and romance sometimes -- you know, make an effort at reducing her workload and showing her she's worth the extra time -- then, well, the man would probably end up with a happier night.

 
Spiritdogs:  Yes, that would be a very subtle way of going about it.  Gee, since the lawyer brought it up, then it must be a good idea!  That way it doesn't look quite so bad like she's been thinking nothing but the worse.   And, she would find out more about her boyfriend by the way his reaction is about what the lawyer says.  (I would make sure the lawyer knew in advance that I wanted him to bring the subject of divorce up - just in case he doens't come right out and be clear about it- probably would, but I would want to make sure he knew in advance to cover that topic well). 
 
So, then after hearing the lawyer say how such-and-such would protect each person, as Spiritdogs said, then if her boyfriend tries to talk her out of it, then that would say something up front about his personality and what he is thinking.

Well, hmmpffp,

If men would do more housework without having to ask twice (that is a most popular love language, by the way), do it without grumbling, and throw in a little music and romance sometimes -- you know, make an effort at reducing her workload and showing her she's worth the extra time -- then, well, the man would probably end up with a happier night.

excuses, excuses. you cant complain about having a wandering man if you arent willing to do what it takes to keep him happy.

maybe if my wife would help out with the yard work in the burning a$$ heat of summer, i might be more willing to help out with the house work a little more often.

I'll trade yard work for housework.  Add up all the hours she works in one week x 52.  Add up your hours a week x say, 24 or 30.   Waaaay less.
 

excuses, excuses. you cant complain about having a wandering man if you arent willing to do what it takes to keep him happy.

 
Not excuses.  Truth.  Most men complaining of lack of, should be putting forth more effort.  Truth.  []
 
OK, we've hijacked this thread enough.  Truce. []

ORIGINAL: cyclefiend2000

excuses, excuses. you cant complain about having a wandering man if you arent willing to do what it takes to keep him happy.

 
Why is it that it's always the women who have to "do what it takes to keep their man happy"?  I can, and would, damned well complain about having a wandering man regardless of how active in the sack I am. 
 
If a guy wants more sex and goes looking for it outside the marriage before talking to his wife about his needs, the argument that he wasn't getting what he needed goes out the window.  Not that I think it's ever a good reason, but if my man used that line on me and hadn't tried to make me aware that there was an issue in the first place, he'd deserve the @ss-kicking I'd dish out.  If he repeatedly told me there was an issue and I blew him off, his actions would be more justifiable, although still wrong.  None of that is any different from what I'd expect from him if the situation were reversed.
 
It's a 2-way street.  I do what I can to make my man's life easier...but he knows that if he spends more than 2-3 hours playing video games when he gets home from work, he's not getting that extra special workout that night.  He has his own interests, away from me - I encourage that, but he knows they don't count as foreplay.
 
Back on topic - I think consulting a lawyer to be aware of your options is a good idea.
 
Kate

Why is it that it's always the women who have to "do what it takes to keep their man happy"?

if your SO isnt giving you enough, tell him. i think a man should try to keep his mate satisfied too. and of course, i assumed that the cheating partner would have made it clear that he/she wasnt being satisfied at home before cheating.

the point was made that men cheat more often than women. i offered a possible reason. if i found out my wife was cheating, i would assume she wasnt being satified at home.

i think you should be less concerned about if your SO is going to cheat and more concerned about not giving them a reason to cheat.

Ok, I said I was going back on topic.......sorry, just gotta post one more thing.
 

i offered a possible reason. if i found out my wife was cheating, i would assume she wasnt being satified at home

 
What you are assuming is the reason a wife would cheat is most likely off target.   Most women who do cheat do it for emotional reasons.  So, that alot of times a women cheats b/c she isn't satisifed at home ---- on an emotional level.  IE, her husband tunes her out, doesn't pay attention to what her desires and goals are, doesn't make the effort to connect on an intellictual and emotional level.  So, somebody else comes along, and actually - gasps - pays attention to her.  Notices what she wears, haircut, gives honest compliments, etc.  People tend to forget after a number of years that their spouse is a seperate human being that isn't there just to clean house or fix dinner, or mow the lawn.  That's part of the "work" in marriage.  You've got to keep making the effort to grow together, not apart, and keep "noticing" that spouse of yours.  
 
Ok, back to our regular programming........

Yeah Lynn, I couldn't have said it better [sm=clapping%20hands%20smiley.gif]

that is like relationship algebra or something. []

men... this woman isnt satisfying me, so i'll see what this other was has to offer.

women... he didnt notice my new hair cut, so i'll sleep with the next guy that does.

can we say "non sequitur"? [sm=rotfl.gif]