Lynn
Posted : 1/23/2007 4:12:27 PM
I didn't read everyone's threads (short of time).
Yes, you should never go into marriage thinking a divorce is an easy way out if things "don't work out". You are to become "one". And marriage is a lot, a lot, alot, alot, alot of hard, hard, hard work. Lots of forgiving and forgetting. So, it's good to be married, b/c then you don't have a super easy way out of such a deep commitment.
However, what happens if that man you love with all your heart decides about the 8th year of marriage that there is just not enough excitement anymore. You find out 2 years later. He says he is willing to change, but, hmmm doesn't change. What then? Believe me, this has happened more times than anyone can count, and in marriages the spouse thought would last forever.
Sometimes women are the eventual cheaters ---- but, let's face it folks, it's usually the man. Would I be offended if a man asked for a prenup? Yes, I would. Would I ask for a prenup if I had considerable more than him? Yep, this time I think I would. It would depend on how much money we're talking about. A couple of thousand, No. But, if it was substantial, then yep, I would do that.
What happens if he gets addicted to drugs or online gambling? Sometimes, then, even if you still love him, your only financial recourse may be divorce to keep your finances from going into the plinker along with his. Then, again, a pre-nupt would make it a lot quicker at a time you might need to act fast.
Every state varies. In some states, what you have when you married remains yours. So, if you have a home in your name only, then it remains yours. But, whatever equity amounts have increased must be split evenly. So, you have a 100K home in your name only, get and stay married for 15 yrs, now that home is worth 200K. So, ex-hubby now can claim 50K on YOUR home. Wow, that either wipes out any monies you have worked hard to put into retirement, or you now have to get a loan to pay him off.
Other states are that everything becomes equitable when you get married. So, in this case, ex-hubby gets 100K on the home. That can hurt alot espeically if you put more monies into the home.
And what happens if your parents leave you a lot of money after you are married? That shouldn't be money that is split.
Again, every state is different.
Don't get me wrong - I think marriage is sacred and divorce is awful. But it happens to the best of us. The best of us get taken in by someone wonderful who we can't imagine ever hurting us - but years down the road it does. You ask most any of these people, and they will tell you that they never imagined in their wildest dreams that they still wouldn't be married. These are usually the same people who would have stuck around and made the marriage work, but the spouse wouldn't alter their rebellious or hurtful actions toward the innocent spouse. Clearly, the behaviours of these people changed over time b/c no one in their right mind would have married a person who behaved in such a manner that they now have to divorce them. So, for some people, either their behaviours changed, or they just stopped "hiding" their true personality.
So, yep, it would depend on how much money we're talking about. In your case, you've got a house that is yours. What does Texas say about who's house it really is after you are married?
I'm sooooo glad that there are alot of marriages that do "stick". And I sincerely hope yours is one of them. But, if you ask anyone who's been divorced, got hurt monitarily from someone that they had been married to for years and years, then I think they would vote for the prenupt. It's awfully hard to make that money up. And the older you get, the harder it is. It's easier to be non-chalent about it when your in your early 30's. Not so easy to take a huge loss a decade later.