Ideas on prenuptial agreements

Wow, I can't believe that I got this many responses!  Thank you all so much.  I will give a little background information on my relationship.  He is an attoney, I helped him pay for law school.  Don't get me wrong, he worked while attending, but I helped out (a lot).  When he graduated, he started working instantly, & passed his bar exam.  During this time, he was unfaithful & we split up.  I moved out of our apartment, though I was the person on the lease, & bought a house.  We worked through his infedility & 4 years later, I am finally confident that this will not happen again, so I accpeted his marriage proposal. 
 
Flash forward to the present.  I have not thought of asking for a renup, until first my best friend asked if I had considered one.  I dismissed this as her being overprotective of me.  Next, my mother, who is a very traditional person, (she had a fit when I announced I was going to hyphenate my name) approached me about a prenup.  I was a bit shocked that she would even ask.  Lastly & most shockingly, my BF sister asked me about it.  I asked her "why would I need one?"  Her response was "Well he has cheated before & you know that he would want his half of everything if you split." 
 
Texas is a communtity property state, so when we tie the knot what's mine is his & what's his is mine.  I have set an appointment with an attorney to discuss this further, but I do like everyones thoughts.

I have been always told if they cheat once they will do it again. But I don`t 100% agree with this. Hubby as an example. You have to do what your heart tells you to do. I have been married twice. No prenuptial on either. The first time nobody had anything. I divorced him and said to take what ever he wanted (anything - everything) I did not care I just wanted a divorce period. My second hubby (present for 15 years) we had no prenuptial only he had his own business when we got married. We both owned our house and cars. I worked. We sold both homes and bought another house together. He gave me money to start my own business which I have today and I gave back him the money he gave me to start it with.
 
Back to the prenuptial agreement - If he would have wanted me to sign one I would have but I don`t think I would have seen him in the same light as not signing one. I didn`t marry him so if we got a divorce I could take him to the cleaners. I hope people wouldn`t do that. But then I`m a trusting person. Sometimes I feel I sucker stamped on my forehead.
 
I have a really good friend who has (alot) of money and asked a girl to marry him. All was great until he wanted her to sign a prenuptial agreement - the wedding was off. She married someone else. Hes still single.
 
You gotta do what you feel is right for you. I would never take advantage of someone but many people would. Male or female.
 
 

I think when large assests are involved its certainly something that should be done.  I know no matter how in love I was or what I thought I would want one.
 
On the flip side as well, I would understand if the man wanted one for me.  I certainly see how it can be taken as hurtful but life is life and things happen.  People get married for all the right reasons (sometimes) and for whatever reason, things may not work out.  As weve seen in other posts unexpected things come up in life and as hard as you try there may be no working it out with that person down the line. 
 
I sort of feel like if I had a lot to lose, and was about to marry a man, and suggested a prenup and he got THAT upset, I may lose a bit of trust there.  Like if it would end the deal for him... hmm, maybe I was on the right track!  It goes both ways... no you shouldnt want one because you plan to be together forever and all that, but on the same token... you shouldnt mind either because you plan to be together forever anyway right.
 
Its a minor legality IMO (with possibility of being a huge one) and if someone treats it as more they may have actually had alterior motives.  Statistics show FACTS, and its just ignorant to not protect yourself.  You may find yourself seriously regretting all that mushy love and faith balogna that kept you from being smart.
 
*You* in the above paragraph was no one in particular... just people in general.
 
 

Just to add... my thoughts are on very large things... now, if it was minor monies I may get more offended at the lack of trust... but if someone is working with millions or so... thats a whole different deal there.  When youve got a lot, youve got a lot to lose[].
 
I only wish I had such a dilemma, lol.[8D]

There have been a lot of good ideas posited here.  Personally, I think I like Anne's the best. 
 
When I got married for the second time, a few years back, my wife brought a lot more assets to the marriage than I did.  I guess that was to be expected since she had divorced a man and I had divorced a woman.  []  Anyway, I suggest a a prenupt to her.  She didn't think it was necessary so we never did it.
 
Ultimately, IMO, if you can't discuss a prenuptial with your intended and/or if doing so would scare them off, maybe you ought not to be marrying that person in the first place.  "Honey, I love you, but I am going to look out for myself first," is certainly a position that is acceptable to me.  Maybe I am just old and cynical.

Bevolasvegas-
 
In your case, having 3 people who know you, are close to you and have your best interests at heart telling to you to get a pre-nup, I'd definately get a pre-nup.  Even in many community prop states, inheritance is viewed differently, but you have to take some steps to keep it separate from the common funds. 

Maybe I am just old and cynical.

 
We didn't pick up on that at all throughout your posts on this thread, Billy.  [8|]
 
 
 
 
 

ORIGINAL: sharismom
We didn't pick up on that at all throughout your posts on this thread, Billy.  [8|]

 
LOL.
 
There should be a section on this forum where one can go to and tell someone else to kiss their ***.

There should be a section on this forum where one can go to and tell someone else to kiss their ***.

We do, it's called the Cesar Millan Discussion forum. [sm=evilfire.gif]
 
Sorry Amanda... back on topic, I think if your SO suggested a prenup, and your family suggested it, and you are not opposed to it... there you have your answer. For me personally this is a non-issue, as unless one of us wins the lottery my SO and I will never have substantial assets to divide one day. I don't forsee us ever splitting, but since my parents divorced after 23 yrs of marriage I no longer have a pair of rose-colored glasses when it comes to marriage. Even so... not knowing anyone who's had one, I wonder how well prenups work if/when it comes time to us them. In their divorce, my parents had an agreement about the house - my mother got it but must either pass it to the kids or give us the money should she sell it. She broke the agreement but legality isn't everything - there's also the human factor. My dad was physically sick/disabled and tired of fighting her in court, so he didn't do anything about it.You can be legally in the right but still lose in the real world... those are just my musings on the subject....

There should be a section on this forum where one can go to and tell someone else to kiss their ***.

 
Are you implying that's what you'd like to tell me? 
 
Thanks a lot...I thought earlier in the thread I actually agreed with you...and to think I mentioned being able to understand the "screwed over" man's point of view.  Sheesh...
 
 
 
 

if he's a lawyer he could probably find a loophole in the prenup if it came down to it.

ORIGINAL: probe1957

There should be a section on this forum where one can go to and tell someone else to kiss their ***.

your name would probably come up alot on that forum [8|]

ORIGINAL: gaylemarie
your name would probably come up alot on that forum [8|]

 
[sm=rotfl.gif]  Probably.

ORIGINAL: gaylemarie

ORIGINAL: probe1957

There should be a section on this forum where one can go to and tell someone else to kiss their ***.

your name would probably come up alot on that forum [8|]

 
[sm=rotfl.gif][sm=rotfl.gif][sm=rotfl.gif]

ORIGINAL: gaylemarie

if he's a lawyer he could probably find a loophole in the prenup if it came down to it.

True, but imagine how hard it is to divorce an attorney and not have one at all?