Looks like we'll have a visitor for a while (foster) - (Callie)

Honestly?  I think it really *is* up to the Alpha of all Alphas to "fix" this.  I felt like I was going round and round a merry-go-round tonight -- this lady just refuses to believe that I wouldn't HAVE a "normal" dog if I had my choice. 

Let others have them -- we do "special needs" WELL.  Can can (and will) afford it -- and we'll make something golden out of it. 

I said to her that Cushings really does *not* scare me -- it's been a side effect of WAY too many things I've dealt with.  I know it's serious ... but it's manageable. 

She said "Well, yes - if one of your own dogs gets something like this you'd probably treat it -- but TAKING a dog **knowing** it had something like that and not caring?  I don't understand!"

I told her it's what we DO.  It's what we enjoy -- because not only will we be able to help this dog to it's maximum health, but once we get 'good' at treating it we'll be able to help **others** with that problem. 

Then she couldn't believe my husband could possibly be "on board" with something like this.  "I mean -- of course he DOESN'T do all this pet therapy with you does he??"

"YES -- everything we do, we do together.  It wouldn't *be* my decision alone -- it's not how we operate.  When we go do pet therapy we ARE together - we work together every single time.  He enjoys the pet therapy as much as I do."

THEN I find out she's had other people interested all along -- that honestly really upset me a bit because **WE** committed to this dog almost a week ago.  We said we'd take her.  Period.  And even after she kept coming to me with more health problems -- we **SAID** we'd take her.  That's it.  We'll deal with it. 

She just can't imagine someone might mean what they say.  *sigh*  It's made me very tired.  I need to go have a long chat with my Higher Authority ... This is His idea ... because He knows ME.  so .... make it happen please??

Callie, reading your last couple of post something kept popping into my head- it sounds like this lady has a hard time letting go, and not in a good way.  I'm wondering if she really ever had any intention of having someone foster this poor dog.  I guess she could just be being ultra careful about where the dog ends up, but something in my gut says that's not it.  I really am not trying to be a downer on this, it's just something that hit me and I wanted to mention it as a possibility so you aren't blind sided if that's the case.

micksmom

Callie, reading your last couple of post something kept popping into my head- it sounds like this lady has a hard time letting go, and not in a good way.  I'm wondering if she really ever had any intention of having someone foster this poor dog.  I guess she could just be being ultra careful about where the dog ends up, but something in my gut says that's not it.  I really am not trying to be a downer on this, it's just something that hit me and I wanted to mention it as a possibility so you aren't blind sided if that's the case.

You're getting the SAME vibes I am -- and I"m going to forward this on to David as well (altho don't call him Mr. Callie you guys -- he kept saying "THEY KNOW MY NAME!!" LOL)

I spent an hour on the phone with her last night and  I'm getting discouraged here -- she's terrified.  She got this dog out of a high kill shelter and now she finds out there are all sorts of health issues (the dog isn't totally blind BUT her vet thinks the dog has Cushings which is causing the incontinece issues but the vet has **NOT** done a bile acids test yet!

She argued with me on the phone for an hour that I can't possibly want to take on a dog with health issues (I think she thinks since SHE pulled the dog she has to take care of it forever -- martyr syndrome).  I've explained what we do and our history, but she won't even call my vets ... she just keeps repeating over and over that she can't imagine that we would, blah blah. 

My husband doesn't want to "give up".  I don't want to fight a fight just for the purpose of "winning" and I'm beginning to wonder ... there are LOTS of handicapped dogs out there ... LOTS of blind dogs who need adopting.  Cushings doesn't scare me, but I'm starting to think this lady is a bit too "off" and I don't want her at my door 3 weeks later demanding the dog back because she has a hair cross-wise.

I"m getting a bad feeling about this because she's demanded pictures of my home and wants to drive FOUR HOURS to see my house herself and wants US to drive to Lauderdale next weekend so she can "meet" us and have us meet the dog but doesn't want us to take her WITH us!!

 ***YET*** she won't call my vets or any references. 

Callie (and David :-), Is she with any kind of organization? Wants you to send pictures of your property but won't check vet refs??? That sends up a million red flags for me. It sure is starting to make me wonder about a lot of things. Like, does she even really have the dog??  (OK--I'm paranoid, but we know that.) Makes you almost want to contact the shelter to find out what's really going on. So, maybe this is just a path to a different dog in need...?

Kate, it was one of my big red flags that she didn't want to answer ANY info for me but she wanted my life history.  She's "alone" and as of yet I don't even have HER last name.  There is no 'organization'. 

She's apparently still got a woman helping her foster because "she works".  (which is weird too)  (not weird she works but weird that she is letting someone have this dog but *she* is running it back and forth to the vet).

 I think one of the things that *really* upset me was that we committed to this last Friday and since then I've been **waiting** for her to tell me when we can come down there and I asked to exchange the scent boxes.  I sent mine last Friday and it was received but they've not even sent theirs.

then last night she tells me she has other people interested and she's been talking to them but that they've all decided they don't want an incontinent dog.

Wait a second ... we **committed** to this dog last Friday and you're talking to other people while I'm **BUYING** stuff for this dog?  Where did all this come from? 

At this point David doesn't want to give up (and there's a bit of stubbornness there admittedly) but I'm feeling **really** not good about this. 

I've gotten no forms to fill out, no indication of what she's going to charge ... I thought she was just disorganized and now I'm not at all sure.

The *right* dog will come to us -- I've no doubt about that, but I said to David last night this needs to be about the *dog* not some sort of contest to see who will "win" or who will convince whom of sincerity. 

IMO, the person has every right to question you and inspect your home and yard.  She doesn't know you from Adam.  If she is already putting money into the dog, she might be afraid that things will fall through.  I agree she should check your references; however, she may be looking for help closer to her home, someone she has already used to help her and she knows.  People are very protective of their kids and dogs.  Maybe she's had some bad experiences and that is why she is less than forthcoming.  She may be very overwhelmed.

Maybe you should check with other reputable rescues to see if anyone knows this woman.  Even a google search might help.

I forgot something else that went through my mind this morning- this could all be a scam. She may not even have the dog, and she's really hoping people will just send money for the dog's care (it's not hard to pull up pictures off the internet). Or, it could be the same situation, but the dog is hers and not a rescue.

Tina, I'm not saying she shouldn't check out the home the dog is going to (she should), but the woman isn't providing any info that one would expect to receive when being considered as a foster or adopter and the info about the dog seems to morph a lot. (When I got Sinbad, I was fully checked out by the foster mom before I even got to meet him. She fully checked with Frisby's vets about me, etc. etc)  I also had all of her contact information, etc. so I could check her out, too, to make sure she was legit. Micksmom, I think you're on the money. The woman either wants money or just wanted some attention. I seriously wonder if she really has the dog.

sharismom

IMO, the person has every right to question you and inspect your home and yard.  She doesn't know you from Adam.  If she is already putting money into the dog, she might be afraid that things will fall through.  I agree she should check your references; however, she may be looking for help closer to her home, someone she has already used to help her and she knows.  People are very protective of their kids and dogs.  Maybe she's had some bad experiences and that is why she is less than forthcoming.  She may be very overwhelmed.

Maybe you should check with other reputable rescues to see if anyone knows this woman.  Even a google search might help.

Absolutely she has a right to check me out -- but Tina -- she won't give ME her name!!  She won't tell me who she rescues with or even who her vet is.  That's my point -- it's entirely one-sided, and yet she has NOT checked even one reference at all and since I'm four hours away that *would* be a place to start. 

I know several folks who do rescue in the Lauderdale area, but I can't check HER out because she won't give me a name!  I volunteered three times to call her vet an  *pay* for the fecal I requested.  I also told her I'd be happy to pay for the vet to examine the dog.  But even tho she took the dog two days ago I still have not seen even the fecal I requested.  She just said "ok". 

And if she's looking closer to home **FINE** ... just tell me that.  Don't tell me you'd be delighted for me to take the dog and then not move forward.  I've already spent a lot of money -- and she hasn't even acknowledged what I did send to the foster mother.  She gave me HER address (which was a business address) but not her own name.

It's just unequal Tina -- I want to check her out and can't and that's what's making me so suspicious. 

There are so many legit rescue groups and shelters who would love to place a special needs dog in a good home.  It does seem that this situation has become a contest of wills.  This particular dog doesn't seem to be in immediate danger of being euthed.  Many senior dogs and disabled dogs die every single day because they can't find a person willing to adopt them.  I'd move on and work with a legitimate rescue group or shelter if you want to adopt or foster a special needs dog. 

Exactly -- the problem was we gave our word (which to my husband is the ultimate).  However, she broke the phone conference last night and didn't respond to our call. 

I am checking her out.  David and I will have a meeting of the minds shortly. 

calliecritturs

sharismom

IMO, the person has every right to question you and inspect your home and yard.  She doesn't know you from Adam.  If she is already putting money into the dog, she might be afraid that things will fall through.  I agree she should check your references; however, she may be looking for help closer to her home, someone she has already used to help her and she knows.  People are very protective of their kids and dogs.  Maybe she's had some bad experiences and that is why she is less than forthcoming.  She may be very overwhelmed.

Maybe you should check with other reputable rescues to see if anyone knows this woman.  Even a google search might help.

Absolutely she has a right to check me out -- but Tina -- she won't give ME her name!!  She won't tell me who she rescues with or even who her vet is.  That's my point -- it's entirely one-sided, and yet she has NOT checked even one reference at all and since I'm four hours away that *would* be a place to start. 

I know several folks who do rescue in the Lauderdale area, but I can't check HER out because she won't give me a name!  I volunteered three times to call her vet an  *pay* for the fecal I requested.  I also told her I'd be happy to pay for the vet to examine the dog.  But even tho she took the dog two days ago I still have not seen even the fecal I requested.  She just said "ok". 

And if she's looking closer to home **FINE** ... just tell me that.  Don't tell me you'd be delighted for me to take the dog and then not move forward.  I've already spent a lot of money -- and she hasn't even acknowledged what I did send to the foster mother.  She gave me HER address (which was a business address) but not her own name.

It's just unequal Tina -- I want to check her out and can't and that's what's making me so suspicious. 

At best, this woman sounds like a nutball who is jerking you around. At worst, she could be trying to scam you in a big way. It really sounds like this is not the situation for you - maybe you can call around to Cocker rescues and get set up with someone more trustworthy?

I know you've been around the block and back, and I'm sure you're protecting yourself, but I would really hate to see you get fleeced because you wanted to badly to help the dog that the people around the dog were able to bypass your customary caution and take advantage of your good nature.

calliecritturs

Exactly -- the problem was we gave our word (which to my husband is the ultimate). 

I get that, but you are being given the run around. Her word is no good.  You and David aren't reneging, she is.

calliecritturs

However, she broke the phone conference last night and didn't respond to our call. 

If you have a phone number, you can find out some info via the internet.

calliecritturs

I am checking her out.

I am confused.  Do you now have a name?  Why not contact the shelter in Hollywood where the dog was supposedly pulled from to find out if they even had this dog.

Ok I'm done. 

David sent his own email to her -- and FINALLY I think we got back something of an honest answer.  She has someone "closer" who is interested. 

FINE -- it would have been really nice had she been **Honest** with me from the start.  I was responding to "urgent foster request".  Then my husband didn't want to leave *her* hanging. 

Her email back to him releases us from all obligation.  David's the kind that he won't leave someone hanging.  We're careful but once he's committed to something it's in stone.  But the fact that she's kept us waiting in the dark, while she has alternative arrangements?? no way. 

I'm NOT looking to adopt.  The right foster will find us.  We do "special needs" well.  My assurance to her was simply that if she turned out to BE unadoptable we'd certainly keep her. 

But I won't deal with someone dishonest.  I'm grieved the dog isn't getting care.  But I can't do any more. 

and p.s. -- no way would I just hand anyone money.  I'll pay a vet for services **directly** but no way do I just hand money to people.  There are many reputable people out there, genuinely looking for someone to foster a special needs dog and the right one will find us.  I thought she was just fearful of trusting (since she hadn't asked me for money) so we tried to be patient and not jump ship just because the dog had high end needs that were undetermined.

I'm a bit sorry I posted -- I was just excited about a new project to help, but maybe someone will benefit by being made more aware to avoid scams.