Embarassing but true

You know I obliged her with a stiff maggie on the rocks...it was the least I could do!  Jules

So YOU are the magarita fairy?  You are officially my new best friend. []
 
Kate

Well I only saw this thread this morning and I am so glad I did. I laughed so much at everyones comments I sprung a leak.. yes the water works came flooding down my cheeks...
Oh boy, I so can relate to your nipple ouchies. I have been bit there on occassion when playing with pups who reached up and latched on while they were in my lap on their backs.
I have experienced the most painful nipple bite when I was training Dylan NOT to jump up to meet you face to face in your grill. He jumped up, did a flying leap past me, as I was turning my back on him, I turned the wrong way of course, in anticipation of which direction he was coming from, well, as he passed me, he reached out to nip me to get my attention. That he did! As he flew past me, he nipped me, but latched onto my nipple. OMG talk about pain. I didn't know that nipples could stretch so far....
My trainer, when I told him what happened split a gut laughing.
My breast was black and blue for weeks after that. So yeah, I can empathise with your bit nipple.

I feel terrible that I'm laughing at the expense of all of you who suffered pain and/or embarassment!  I feel like a guy who sees someone get hit in the "privates" and winces simultaneously - I feel like I need to cross my arms protectively across my chest as I'm reading these stories!
 
Jules, your story was hysterical (as was your mother's response).  Our dog was so huge that his "equipment" was right at eye level of most toddlers, and we had more than one embarassing moment at the park when children would point and/or grab at it, often saying, "What's this?"  We always let the parents field that question!
 
One time my husband was sound asleep on the living room floor, on his back.  Tonka always thought he was a lap dog, and if you were on the floor, he'd kind of back into your lap, inching back and crouching his back legs until he felt something to sit on.  Well, he spotted my DH, and I watched him slowly approach, backing up until he put his butt firmly on DH's face.  DH awoke with a start as he felt (as he put it), "lip to lip contact."  It was very funny -- and he made a dash to the bathroom to wash and gargle!

Jules,
LMAO.............................
Tears streaming down my face, I havent laughed this hard in so long.
Thanks for sharing I really needed that.

ok Tracy I just read your post  I had just dried my face from Jules story now the tears are back and I have awoke my 2 sleeping darling dogs.
 

Sooo funny! Sorry it happened though.

The dogs always think I'm crazy for laughing at the weird box!

ORIGINAL: julesmac8

Mine was painless yet painfully embarassing.  While my mom was visiting from out of state, my son was petting Mack, saying, "Good Mack!" which was oh so cute.  Mack is standing patiently being petted.  Then Nicholas reaches down underneath and gets a handful of 'Big Mack' and gives him a vigorous shake saying, "Look, Gama! Mack privates!" Before I could cross the kitchen, Mack turned his head to see what the source of his jiggling member was and proceeded to lick up the side of Nick's head with every jiggle, which made Nick laugh and jiggle some more.  Each time Mack licked, Nick jiggled.  Pretty soon Nick's head was all slobbery and all his blond baby hairs are shellacked on end with dog spit.  I stood there dumbly watching this little spectacle in my kitchen, and my mother looked like she had heart failure.  Her angelic faced, blond haired, blue eyed grandson was standing there with a fistful of 'dogequipment' shaking it like he was pull starting a lawn mower.  I realized that I wasn't moving and grabbed Nick and washed off his noggin under the kitchen faucet.  At this point, my mother still hadn't said anything at all.  I looked at her and asked if she wanted a diet pepsi.  She says, "No, honey I think I'll wait for the margarita fairy - it's gonna be a long afternoon."    Jules

 
 
Oh my God, this is hilarious!  I was visualizing as I read, and I still have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard. [sm=rotfl.gif][sm=clapping%20hands%20smiley.gif][sm=rofl.gif]

ORIGINAL: darci

ok Tracy I just read your post  I had just dried my face from Jules story now the tears are back and I have awoke my 2 sleeping darling dogs.

 
same here.  these stories are beyond funny.  boy! I needed to laugh today. 

I think we should give Jules some kind of award for "funniest kid stories."
 
Jules, weren't you the one with the child who couldn't keep her hands out of her poopy diapers and who also enjoyed body- and wall-painting with said poo?  You definitely have a way with words that makes for a very vivid image when we read your stories, but I think it's a riot that you even have these experiences to begin with!!  If there's some kind of zodiac sign or Chinese birth year or something that has to with humor, then your kids were born under it! [sm=lol.gif]

Yeeeeeouch![] Hopefully this is a one time thing.

Well, he spotted my DH, and I watched him slowly approach, backing up until he put his butt firmly on DH's face. DH awoke with a start as he felt (as he put it), "lip to lip contact." It was very funny -- and he made a dash to the bathroom to wash and gargle!

 
The lip to lip contact pushed me over the edge with tears flooding my face, sides cramping up, ok....ok... breathe... breathe... Oooo

OMG, you guys are gonna get me SO fired. *snerk* I'm laughing out loud like a loon. No more, my belly hurts. [sm=biggrin.gif]

Lol, yeah it was my daughter who massaged poop everyday.  My kids have pushed me beyond what I thought I could tolerate and now I am fairly patient with them because I have been through the fire and I *SEE* the light! A-men!   
Any awards will be framed and hung with pride and honor.  Jules