Julie Byers
Posted : 6/14/2006 12:41:34 AM
Ugh, here is an add-on edition regarding Nicholas and thankfully it doesn't include Mack's reproductive plumbing.
This morning while I am having coffee, checking messages, and basicly easing into the day; Nicholas is playing outside in the front yard. When I sent him out, he was wearing a cute 'Elmo' matching set t-shirt and shorts with a pair of sandals. I check on him every fifteen minutes or so, especially if he doesn't come in the house on his own. Well sure enough he came inside but it seems he forgot something in the yard: his *clothes*. He is only wearing his sandals. As soon as I saw him I picked him up and realized too late that he was muddy. Then the stench hits.... and the mud he just got on my arm and shirt?? It's NOT mud.....ohhhh yeahhh its POOP of course. What else could it be in MY household? Nothing but poop. Not only am I the margarita fairy....I am QueenPoopyMom. Hell-o yeahhh. While I am taking his sandals off and looking for wipes there is a tap on the kitchen screen door. The nice lady from next door. She is hemming and stalling, and is clearly uncomfortable. She is telling me that I might want to take a look outside. No this isn't a good time, but she has a strange look on her face. I walk outside and in the driveway is Nick's shirt and shorts. And his diaper. And *Buttprints*. Yes you read that right, buttprints! OMG freakin buttprints?!?! I can tell that he did a major download and then didn't want poopy shorts anymore so he took it all off. Then sat down. Then he liked his print that he left so he left little brown buttcheek prints all over the danged driveway. This includes grapes and olives just incase it's not bad enough in your head. Now I am the one with the strange look, and I am keenly uncomfortable.... I cleaned him up, and had to hose down my flippin chocolate covered grape and olive surprise littered driveway. AArrrrgghhhhhhhh!![:'(][
:@] Thank heavens that I AM the Margarita Fairy, because now all I have to do is wack myself on the head with my own freaking wand! I don't dare ask "What next?"
Jules