So what do we want here?

ORIGINAL: janetmichel3009

you're faster than me. i just wanted to say i didnt see any advice either.

 
Hmm, I posted a link about Akita generalization and said I didn't think Ogre was doing anything against his breed temperament, and made some suggestions for containment and one-on-one time so that he could still peacefully coexist.  Oh but I forgot to gush about the new puppy, so I guess that I was still bashing her and not giving advice. 

ORIGINAL: rolenta

Maybe YOU were an idiot when you were 20, but I'm not and neither is Ratsicles so leave us alone!

Part of the problem is, when you're 20, you don't realize your're an "idiot."  []
 
Edited for spelling.

ORIGINAL: g33

I'm cheesed off people don't want to take responsibility for what they share here and then get pissed and leave...

I totally agree. Further more I am SHOCKED at some of the personal information people on this board share. Hello people!!!!! This is the internet! Goggle the right phase and all the crap you have told about your spouse, your sex life, your bodyparts, your prejudices, your photos etc. just pops up for the whole world to see - not just idoggers. Maybe you feel comfortable sharing (or shocking) at the time but this stuff NEVER goes away. I wonder if anyone regret some of the stuff they posted in the "Silly Secrets You Have" thread? I know more VERY personal information about some members here than I do about my best friends.

So yes, if you post stuff here, especially personal stuff, you really can't be offended if someone comments on it or use it as reference in future posts. A looong time back, someone used the phase 'treatdispensing butler' and I still see reference to that at recent as today. Be carful what you say and what you share - it can and will come back to bite you!

ORIGINAL: g33

ORIGINAL: janetmichel3009

you're faster than me. i just wanted to say i didnt see any advice either.

Hmm, I posted a link about Akita generalization and said I didn't think Ogre was doing anything against his breed temperament, and made some suggestions for containment and one-on-one time so that he could still peacefully coexist.  Oh but I forgot to gush about the new puppy, so I guess that I was still bashing her and not giving advice. 

 
no need for the sarcastic tone. i missed that, i'm sorry!
in general i stand by my point though. the balance between "bashing" and advice was off. might have been why i missed it.
 
and yeah, i admit, i didnt try the link. most links don't work when i try to open them from idog. dunno why...

Sometimes ... not all the time, but sometimes ... the NDR section reminds me of the[sm=jerry.gif] show. I'm sure everyone has seen "Jerry" at least once or twice.  Someone will get up and reveal the most god-awful, personal things about themselves and/or their family, then get their knickers all in a twist when the audience reacts in a certain way. Then you hear the shouts of "You don't know me" and "This is none of your business."  Hmmm.  If you're going to reveal these types of things publicly, then you can't get angry when people question/make suggestions about things you have done/are doing/are going to do. If you don't know anyone personally that you can unload on, then pick someone on the forum and PM or e-mail them.  If you're going to post it on the forum, you have got to be willing to accept whatever comments and/or suggestions come your way - and accept the fact that you are going to get replies that maybe you don't want to hear and questions that you might not want to answer.
 
Joyce

Also, I am sooooo sick of people saying that a person can't handle something because of their age. Maybe YOU were an idiot when you were 20, but I'm not and neither is Ratsicles so leave us alone!

it's all a matter of perspective.

in land surveying, the longer the backsight generally means you have a more accurate your foresight. i have a co-worker who says this applies to life as well.
[sm=2cents.gif]

I apologize for getting sarcastic. 
 
OK that said, I have fallen into the trap of rehashing the departure...but seriously I meant to start this thread with an actual POINT (imagine that!) and ask the question - WHAT is it that we are looking for in this forum in terms of our sharing and our responsibility as recipients of the sharing?  What is and is not permissible - what's crossing the line and what's not? 

That question has no certain answer. It's a try and try kind of thing. Sometimes your advice will be considered and sometimes not. There is no real way to predict that. So try not to take it personally when it just blows up as it is going to do every now and then.

Paula

ORIGINAL: denise m

ORIGINAL: g33

I'm cheesed off people don't want to take responsibility for what they share here and then get pissed and leave...

I totally agree. Further more I am SHOCKED at some of the personal information people on this board share. Hello people!!!!! This is the internet! Goggle the right phase and all the crap you have told about your spouse, your sex life, your bodyparts, your prejudices, your photos etc. just pops up for the whole world to see - not just idoggers. Maybe you feel comfortable sharing (or shocking) at the time but this stuff NEVER goes away. I wonder if anyone regret some of the stuff they posted in the "Silly Secrets You Have" thread? I know more VERY personal information about some members here than I do about my best friends.

So yes, if you post stuff here, especially personal stuff, you really can't be offended if someone comments on it or use it as reference in future posts. A looong time back, someone used the phase 'treatdispensing butler' and I still see reference to that at recent as today. Be carful what you say and what you share - it can and will come back to bite you!

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I was raised that digging up things in order to better attack someone is below the belt and classless.....but that's just me [sm=wink2.gif]. 

ORIGINAL: g33

ORIGINAL: janetmichel3009

you're faster than me. i just wanted to say i didnt see any advice either.

Hmm, I posted a link about Akita generalization and said I didn't think Ogre was doing anything against his breed temperament, and made some suggestions for containment and one-on-one time so that he could still peacefully coexist. Oh but I forgot to gush about the new puppy, so I guess that I was still bashing her and not giving advice.

Just so you know, you weren't one of the people that I was talking about. So, who is accusing you of being uncaring?
Did I miss that post? It is quite possible that I did.

ORIGINAL: g33

I apologize for getting sarcastic. 

OK that said, I have fallen into the trap of rehashing the departure...but seriously I meant to start this thread with an actual POINT (imagine that!) and ask the question - WHAT is it that we are looking for in this forum in terms of our sharing and our responsibility as recipients of the sharing?  What is and is not permissible - what's crossing the line and what's not? 

I think that's personal opinion in NDR.  I started a thread once about my BF because I was so frickin' mad at him.  But ya know what?  he knows I come here so I don't want the chance of him finding that later on when it's all passed and us getting into a fight over it.  Not worth it, so I removed it. 

I am completely surprised at some of the stuff people post here.  Shocked even.  I lurk and read most of them but rarely comment.  There are a few people that I think do post for the attention.  A lot.  I've found myself beginning a thread that is personal and I stop and ask why?  It's for attention, I realize, so I don't actually post it.  I try to keep my posts to harmless stuff or dog related stuff.  

I work for an organization that has members across the country and on one conference call, one of the members, who I'd never talked too, had seen a video of mine on YouTube.  doh!!  At least it was of my dogs!  lol...  And he'd found it by googling my name.  Like Liesj I too try to keep internet stuff friendly or at least not too terribly personal.  Never know when things might come back to bite you.

I wonder if anyone regret some of the stuff they posted in the "Silly Secrets You Have" thread? I know more VERY personal information about some members here than I do about my best friends.

I think about that all the time and try to be verrryyyy careful about what I post.  I'm a pretty private person and even if I were having serious personal problems, I probably wouldn't share them here. I learned early on though that if I put it out there, I'd better be ready for any and all responses.  I especially think that when you post something animal related but with negative issues, such as the post this is all referring to, then you'd better expect a passionate response.  Folks here are animal lovers thru and thru and it's expecting too much to think they won't make suggestions or voice opionions regarding the welfare of the animals.  It's actually surprising to me when people are surprised by those responses [8|]

Sillysally...exactly. The fact that people will stop what they're doing...search the archives...just trying and trying to find that one post...LOL...it says more about them than the person they want to pin to the mounting board, IMO.
 
I've done it before...and I admit that...I will not be doing it in future. Seeing how it looks, from a different perspective, has really opened my eyes.
 
I'll also add "show me where I said..." is rather a cop out. A discussion is the sum of it's parts, the entirety...the tone and choice of where to plant sarcasm etc. Taken one line at a time it may not fit into the realm of "rude/judgemental"....taken as a whole...it sure might. What you say/type matters less than what is perceived in what you say/type.
 
Last thing. I will say quite plainly...that we have too many Dr Phil's on the board, IMO.

ORIGINAL: g33

I apologize for getting sarcastic. 

OK that said, I have fallen into the trap of rehashing the departure...but seriously I meant to start this thread with an actual POINT (imagine that!) and ask the question - WHAT is it that we are looking for in this forum in terms of our sharing and our responsibility as recipients of the sharing?  What is and is not permissible - what's crossing the line and what's not? 

well, personally i would share as much as she did. but i was assuming she had been on this forum a lot longer than me and had some friends here, she wanted to update. i guess that is ok but risky. maybe you have taught her that lesson, but i wouldnt wanna be in her shoes.
as a recepient. well. if people give me info, i don't pass it along to people outside the forum, that is one thing. the other is, id they ask for advice along with this info. i will try my best to give it. if not i'll try my best to keep my mouth shut. if i see there is a situation at hand that i have info on and that info could improve the situation i will *gently* try to pass that along. if i find the person doesnt wanna hear it.. well. that's ok too. i find that often people will take advice if it is worded right. YES sometimes you have to be extra gentle and clarify 1000 times that you mean no disrespect and this is JUST your personal opinion. but sometimes it is just necessary. after all, we are lacking the advantage of seeing each other's body language and hearing their tone of voice.. so you have to make up for that in other ways...

that's how i see it...
 
ETA: who's dr. phil??

One thing I think it#%92s important to remember is that, no matter what, you don#%92t know the whole story. The first post in a thread could be miles long – and you still wouldn#%92t have all the details or know all you needed to know to pass judgment on a situation. It#%92s simply not possible to express emotion, background, or lifestyle, among other factors, in a forum post. So, instead of passing judgment, jumping to conclusions, or making assumptions many people here would do well to ask more questions about the situation or phrase their comments as suggestions rather than accusations.