Cultural Differences - examples for a class assignment

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    Cultural Differences - examples for a class assignment

    My partner is in a communications class.  Current assignment is about things that are acceptable in our culture but may be offensive in another. This may be words, gestures, types of physical contact.   Since neither of us is very worldly...I'm looking for examples from the vast experience of the idoggers! 

    As a plus, we will probably all learn something Smile

    Mindy

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    I'll try to get this started for you but actually, I'm pretty stumped.  How about this one.....

    In the South, the male of the species danged well better call an adult female "Mam" or his momma will kick his butt into next week.  For us damned yankees, being called mam surely makes ME for old!

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     I've actually had people get upset, and feel insulted when I called them, "Ma'am".

     

    Ummm... I got in trouble, for years, if I didn't say it. That habit is not gonna break! I tell the dogs, "Thank you, ma'am", and "NO MA'AM! I don't THINK so!" 

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     Dogs in the house in the US vs. how dogs are veiwed in muslim countries or those with high incidences of rabies (think village or pariah dogs)

    Different mealtimes in Europe vs. here (like Spain sees people eating dinner around 9pm vs. 5-6pm here)

    Eating sitting on chairs vs. on the floor as in some countries (Japan? India?)

    Woman's place in the home

     

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    hmm...in Germany I learned it was rude to "sniff" at the table..it's considered more polite to blow your nose lol. No idea if that'd fit. I guess most of my stuff is the other way around...things we consider rude that other countries don't. Like standing ON someone in front of you in line instead of respecting the bubble...lol.

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    Well, where I come from backyard breeding is pretty much the only breeding that happens. We do have a few (very very very few) breeders with pedigrees, papers, etc... but the quality I think is not the same as you would expect of a breeder and also the prices are over the galaxy.

    I still don't think backyard breeding is such a big deal, but of course I never saw before coming to this forum pictures of the creepy puppy millers, so I do understand the conflict and why everybody here sees that as a major problem.

    Also, where I come from, there's only one rescue organization in the whole country and whoever tries to help stray dogs does it from it's own pocket. For example, one of my friends has in her three bedroom appartment that she shares with her husband, her two daughters, her mom and her three dogs a little doggie hospital... and she pays for all the medicines, vet treatments, food, etc... Everytime we bought chicken/meat we made a bag full of scrapes for her. So she makes this soup with rice and scrapes and little kibble to feed the stray dogs she knows and keep them going. Sometimes I felt sorry, how Thor ate like a king in his house and some of his stray friends barely did with a little soup from here, a piece of sandwich there, a chicken bone and a piece of cake... but it's the way things are there.

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    glenmar

    I'll try to get this started for you but actually, I'm pretty stumped.  How about this one.....

    In the South, the male of the species danged well better call an adult female "Mam" or his momma will kick his butt into next week.  For us damned yankees, being called mam surely makes ME for old!

    When I went to Penscola to school I had to even call my roommates "ma'am" -- and it just became an ingrained habit.  I went home at Christmas and my Mother told me to do something and I said "yes, ma'am" and she BACKHANDED ME for being "snotty".  What Glenda said -- My mom considered it RUDE -- like I was calling her old and infirm or something!!

    Now to go beyond the US -- my husband is a Scot (born & reared near Dundee, Scotland) and only came here after he married me 12 years ago. 

    I can go on and on and ON here.

    We Americans typically (and particularly in this day and age) imply "please" in HOW we say something.  It's completely in our tone -- but "Couldja hand me that towel??" in a friendly tone, with the voice going "up" on the end (more than in a normal question) the "please" is implied and particularly in a situation where you are in casual conversation with a friend using "please" too often in conversation is considered "insincere".  Now we'll mostly say "thank you" (those of us who were reared properly) but "thank you" is probably more often used than "please".

    BUT (ohhh big, glaring HUGE "but";) it makes my British husband really quite angry if I don't say "please" to him EVERY time.  It is just plain considered rude, crude and UN-called for ANY time to omit "please".  We try to strike a balance because to me it grates to be honest.  The first time "please" was nice and appropriate, but let's stay sincere here?  It's DEFINITELY cultural.

    And I'll give you a funny one -- but this is SOOO true.

    When David was working here one afternoon after some casual conversation the woman who was his "boss" (who was an American MARRIED to an Englishman) actually laughingly **instructed** my husband on the difference between calling someone an a$$hole and telling someone they are a pain in the a__ __ (a-double-scribble?  how else can I write this LOL)

    Think about it?  We may good naturedly tell someone they are a pain in the _______ (posterior) and laugh about it ... but you never **EVER** call someone the "a" word to their face without being prepared to duck or run.  That one is deadly serious most of the time and it's just culturally linguistic.

    LOTS of words are considered "rude" here or there.  We use "but" (spelled with two tt's which I think will get me asterisks) ALL the time without thinking.  But it's pretty rude in the UK.  However they use "***" which **to me** sounds too much like the other and I don't like to hear it. 

     My husband almost choked when we were dating and we were with my parents (which admittedly is a strain anyway but ... I digress *grin*) my mother looked straight at David and asked him to hand her her "Fanny Pack" (her around-the-waist purse??) -- David turned blue and nearly choked because that word "fanny" (which to us is a very polite term for 'posterior';) is, in his slang an extremely IMPOLITE term for a different part of the female body.

     I could go on and on.  There are millions of em. LOL

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    Ooohhh, ooh, ooh! This is my area of interest, and my professional specialty.

    Some good ones have been brought up already, but I have some to add.

    In Chinese culture, gift giving is a very intricate, very important, and very common practice. Often, though, when it comes to cross-cultural interactions and gift giving, the presentation of a gift (for example, to a boss) could be interpreted as a bribe. I work in a school with many Chinese students, and sometimes, when parents bring gifts to parent-teacher conferences, teachers misinterpret this gesture as a bribe. This is a very common cultural misunderstanding.

    In Japanese culture, slurping your noodles shows that you've enjoyed your meal. In American culture, slurping anything while eating is considered very, very rude.

    In many cultures, when a child is reprimanded they may smile (vietnamese comes to mind, but with a little research you'll find this is applicable to many cultures), indicating that they are sorry. This is often misinterpreted, especially in today's schools. In the states, if a child smiles when they are being reprimanded, it means they are not taking the punishment seriously, and would invoke more anger in the adult.

    Along the same lines is the difference in eye contact between children and people they respect, ie. teachers, elders, authority, etc. Again, the lack of eye contact is not received well in the states, especially in schools. A teacher will often say "Look at me when I am talking to you.", all the while not realizing that the child not making eye contact is them showing respect to you as they know it.

    In many cultures it is rude to show the bottom of your feet (Turkey, Thailand [in regards to the Buddha]...).

    In Japanese culture it is customary to take your shoes off at the door. Shoes are not worn inside.

    In many cultures it is considered inappropriate, rude, or bad manners to hand things using the left hand. Things should be passed only with the right hand.

    When I visited China this summer I was shocked at the lack of line formation. Often times people will "cut" in line, and its considered nothing there. I noticed that people would wait in front of a stall for the bathroom, rather than making a line at the door and waiting for the stall to become open. Another thing that surprised me was that in fast food restaurants (ie. McDonald's), or a place like Starbucks, you don't clean your table. There are people whose job it is to clean your table, and if you do it yourself, its considered rude, as you are taking their work away. With both of these examples, if this happened in the states it would be considered very rude, or a visitor in China may be confused by this, but its all just about understanding that what is considered normal behavior (a social norm) is just different in each culture.

    Many different countries have different tipping practices. Tipping does not happen in many Asian countries. While staying in Japan and China I did not tip at all. Never. For anything. It wasn't customary, in fact, locals prefer that you don't tip, so that tipping is not introduced, and then expected, in their country. In Thailand, however, we tipped. Because of the presence of tourism in Thailand, tipping is now customary, in fact, tips are often included in the bill.

    Last one, I promise! The attention paid to time is very different in many countries. The way that Americans value time, place importance on scheduling, and the phrase "Time is money", for example, is very different than, say, South American countries. Misunderstandings can often happen when it comes to being on time for a meeting, for example.

    Its really important to note that not every cultural generalization or stereotype (not all stereotypes are negative) applies to each person of that culture, and some of these generalizations apply to many countries/cultures.

    Sorry to go on and on! I hope this helps!!!

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     In Spanish, practically every insult can be made almost an affectionate term by adding "ito" or "ita" to the end. It cracks me up! If you call someone "gorda," you're calling her "fat," and it's insulting. But if you call her "gordita," it's sort of like calling her "chubby," and is seen more as affectionate, gentle teasing.

    Also, when you're feeling overheated, you never, EVER say "estoy caliente" (literal translation: I am hot) because it means, "I'm very turned on right now." Instead, you say "tengo calor" (literally "I have heat";). That one is VERY important to know when expressing your body temperature in a crowded bar around lots of men, lol! Also, "estoy embarasada" does not mean "I am embarrassed," as you think it might - it actually means "I am pregnant." Whoops!

    As someone mentioned, the Spaniards tend to eat their dinner very late. Lunch is usually around 2:00 or later and can last several hours, and dinner is a (typically) lighter meal around 10 or later. Breakfast is also usually a very light meal, typically with tea or coffe and toast or biscuits and not much else. Maybe some juice.

    Another cultural difference, not Spanish-specific - in most of the Middle East, it is considered rude to show the soles of your feet. (Example of cultural mishap on that regard: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/10/obama-phone-photo-seen-as_n_213693.html)

    Edit: Now that I've read Alieliza's - along the idea of the importance of time to Americans. In the US, we have the phrases "wasting time" and "spending time" that are very common in our everyday speech. (Interesting to note how "wasting money" and "spending money" are also common!) In Spanish, the literal translation of "wasting time" would make no sense. You don't "waste" time, or "spend" time, you simply "pass time" (or time passes you!).

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    Oh well, to be on time it's really hard for most latinamericans!

    Another thing is that we like to hug/kiss people a lot. And it's so funny to feel with my friends here in Canada, that I want to hug longer than they do ~LOL~ We talk about that and it's hilarious. Also, my husband is used to hug his friends and here man don't hug LMAO

    Another thing, I found oh-so-rude to talk about race, like "what race are you?", "what are you?" and things like that. I think it's awful, from my point of view to signal somebody elses differences as if we are not all human and breath the same. This, of course, coming from an adult.

    In the other hand, to say "negro" in Spanish usually has a very sweet connotation. My father would call my brother "mi negrito" and that's is like to hear: "my favorite/loved/squishy/baby of mine". So it's quite difficult to understand that to call "negro" somebody could be an insult.

    And yeah insults with "ito", "ita" change the meaning completely. But also, "ito", "ita" can make other words sound worse...

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    Down south, all carbonated drinks are called Cokes. Apparently, according to a new employee frome Detroit, they are referred to as "pop." I always thought that a pop was what you gt when you misbehaved or forgot to say ma'am or sir.....
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    I was just discussing something like this with a friend... regarding leaving someone's house.

    Our mutual client, has another staff who comes to the house who is Russian (my friend is also Russian for all intents and purposes- where she was born is now Ukraine, but not when she was born). Anyway, in a Russian home, when you leave, they walk you to the door, you usually say goodbye to everyone there, and you definitely say goodbye to the host. You might even walk out with a doggie bag. Not like sometimes here, where you can see yourself out. Anyway, the other Russian person, not my friend, left our client's house yesterday, and did not say goodbye to the family. The family isn't Russian, but of European descent, I think on both sides, they have been in the US less than 100 years. If they are very caught up with the kid,  you can let yourself out, but you need to say goodbye, and let them know you are leaving. 99% of the time though, someone will walk you to the door. His mother, who is of Italian descent, hugs more than anyone I know.

    In the Indian household I go to, you must say goodbye to everyone in the house, you can go to the door yourself, but almost always, someone will come to the door and see you out.

    My Russian friend works with a Chinese family. The grandparents decided it was time for her to go the other day, so they walked her to the door and told her, "bye bye"

    The Indian family also eats many things with their hands that most Americans would never eat that way. They eat things on a sort of bread, and scoop them onto the bread by hand. Often times, these are things with the consisteny of a thick soup, or things mixed with rice. Just very runny stuff that we would never touch with our hands here. When they offer it to me, they always give me a spoon to scoop it with. Also, lots of times when they offer me something, they don't actually always even offer it, they just bring me a plate of something. I don't know enough Indian families though to know if that's what always occurs.

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    BEVOLASVEGAS
    Down south, all carbonated drinks are called Cokes. Apparently, according to a new employee frome Detroit, they are referred to as "pop." I always thought that a pop was what you gt when you misbehaved or forgot to say ma'am or sir.....

    My Mom- born and raised in Boston- calls carbonated drinks (like Coke and Pepsi) "tonic"! LOL! I call it "soda".

    The living room/family room is a "parlor". We call a milkshake a "frappe" (pronounced "frAp";). A "regular coffee" is a coffee w/ cream and sugar. If you want a a coffee w/ nothing added it's "black". We have rotaries and "bang U-ey's". I could go on forever...there's SO MANY here, lol!

    My Grandma is from Italy and always thinks everyone needs to eat- and eat some more! You should've seen DH the first time he met her- I thought he was going to explode! She kept putting food in front of him! He loved it though- nothing like real Italian food. Sunday dinner, where she and my Mom cook, is still big at my parents house.

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    BEVOLASVEGAS

    Down south, all carbonated drinks are called Cokes. Apparently, according to a new employee frome Detroit, they are referred to as "pop." I always thought that a pop was what you gt when you misbehaved or forgot to say ma'am or sir.....

    Lol! OT here but it's funny I think so I'll have to share.

    We went out to eat a while back with one of JJ's friends and he gets his order taken. Well he asked the cashier what kinda pop they had. I looked at him and both the cashier and I said "what kinda what?" He goes "what kind of pops do you have?" I burst out laughing and said he wants to know what kind of cokes you have! Then I bugged him for the rest of the night. He only lives and hour away and has lived in KY his entire life. I thought it was funny.

    Ok back to subject.

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     Oh, and actually, perhaps someone with knowledge of hispanic culture can decode this for me... if you don't mind...

    I meet with a hispanic woman every few weeks. She is supervising me for school purposes. She is older than me by more than just a few years. Anyway, every time we meet, we usually sit in a Starbucks. She always goes to get something, and asks me if I want something, or tell me I can get something if I want. She also once was telling me about a cultural thing with hispanic clients. Often times our companies will have a rule that we're not supposed to take anything (like other than water) from clients, and it's generally not considered good practice to do so. However, she told me that hispanic people generally offer something, because they know she is hispanic, she pretty much has to take it, because they know that she knows the cultural rule.

    Now, here is where my confusion lies. Was she just relaying this to me. I can't remember what the circumstances were for her sharing this exactly, but I also said something about the Indian people who will often debate for a while before offering (because other people who come into the home haven't liked the spicy food). So, I feel bad saying no if they debate for a half hour about giving it to me. I also was raised that you can't outright tell someone , except in rare cases, that you really don't like what they offered you. You at least have to be ok with it. Back to the point though, was she tell me this because she was trying to tell me without saying outright that my refusal is rude, or was she just telling me? I was raised that basically, if someone offers to buy you something, most of the time, you have to at least try to refuse it before allowing them to do it. Not sure where that's from, but I do it.