Cita
Posted : 6/30/2009 12:12:51 PM
Man... I am really glad they're back. That must have been terrifying! I'm glad they come home!
IMO, this is a wakeup call that you and JJ need to work out a different system!
I do 99.8% of the "dog chores" around here - I feed, water, walk, take out to potty, brush, bathe, vet, crate, uncrate, clean up after, train, etc. Even though we call Rascal "our dog," he is very clearly my dog, and I have full responsibility for him.
HOWEVER... if something comes up and I'm home later than expected (as happened last weekend when I went out shopping and encountered traffic), my BF will take Rascal outside. Unasked. It might be the one time that year that he takes Rascal outside, but he does it because he feels sympathy for Rascal's needs, doesn't want him to potty inside, and does it out of consideration for me. And keep in mind, Rascal is a very challenging dog, and has bitten BF several times (though not for a long time). He's also very sensitive about his neck, so putting on a leash/harness can be tricky and Rascal can get snappy. So it's not like this is an easy task that BF enjoys doing!! (Hence why I do 99.8% of the dog care!)
You said you get "ill" when JJ tries to do something for the dogs and doesn't quite do it right - maybe this is part of the problem? Often it's necessary to train men like you would train a puppy. 
Instead of getting mad when they mess up, show them the right way to do things, and offer a lot of praise for steps in the right direction. He doesn't have to do the chores on a daily basis, but he should at least know how (more or less) in case of emergency.
I'm being very blunt here, but you do have a LOT of dogs, and it really seems like a safety concern if JJ is so far removed from the dogs' care that he doesn't even check on them when he gets home or notice if they get out of the house. What if one of them was having a medical issue, like an allergic reaction to something, and you weren't home and JJ didn't notice? IMO supervision is necessary for even one dog, but when you have bunches of dogs the potential for problems becomes much higher. A quick, "hello dogs, everyone looking good?" when coming home is IMO the least he could do. And if he's home, why is his mother needed to come over and let them out? (Or did I just get confused?)
Again this is just IMO, but it seems like you really need to involve JJ with the dogs more.
My BF's parents have an arrangement where his mother is "allowed" to have pets if her husband doesn't have to deal with them, ever. But he's still engaged enough to notice if the dog needs to go outside, or if the dog is coughing or acting weird, or something like that. Heck, this man doesn't even like touching the animals, but he still takes a very mild interest in their well-being.
Sorry to be a little harsh, but this really does not sound like a healthy household setup, if having several dogs is very important to you and JJ doesn't think they're important enough to even merit checking on. It seems like glancing briefly and just taking a headcount is the very least he should do as far as dog care goes.