none

 Eh, with the exception of 2 Boston Terriers, I don't think I've ever had "matching" dogs. I owned a Rottweiler, Boston Terriers and a Borzoi all at once. It was an interesting mix and it never bothered me in the least.

Callie, I think what we don't understand is, what is it you want those of us who look for specific pets for whatever reason, to "rethink"? Sure, it would be tremendously altruistic of me to lay aside all the needs of my other dogs (who need my time to train them), my sheep or ducks (who need a dog that won't kill them), and my children (who like being homeschooled, and prefer that the dogs here not want them for lunch) - for the sake of a single dog that needs me. I've done it to some extent - both with dogs of my own, and rescues.

I can't do it. If that makes me a lesser life form, then so be it. I have priorities and need to stick to them, or my life is a ship without a rudder. So I am careful now with new dogs who come here. I am selective about both resident dogs, and rescues. I am honest about the fact that I'm not the best possible home, for most of the dogs I come into contact with.

My "pets" have to be happy with farm life and simply being buddies. My working dogs need to be suitable for the work they do, and happy doing that work.

Zhi's here because I was emotionally shot when she plopped into my lap and life (literally), and has been my emotional "service dog" since then - my mainstay when I was most fragile both physically and mentally. Lynn's here because she's super cool and fits into farm life perfectly - and just happens to look and act like a breed I was jonesing for, but much smaller. If she had been a laid-back, smooth coated black dog, or a bulldog, or even a Border Collie, I'd have most certainly found her a good home.

I've had to re-home three dogs I raised from puppyhood, because they weren't suitable for life here. One was people-aggressive, towards children in particular, and two were super high drive but didn't want to work my sheep (one was breaking out of crates to kill sheep). 

I have to think of what's best for the dog first of all, and my life isn't flexible enough to fit in many, many of the dogs out there.

Beyond that, if I've decided to add a dog here, and have a choice (as I did with Lynn and Zhi), again, I don't see a thing wrong with picking and choosing. I had a chance to foster several types of toy breeds before I was contacted about Zhi, and immediately agreed to Zhi because I'd always thought CCs were cool-looking. And I've mentioned already that I was eyeballing Leonbergers when Lynn dropped into our lives.

Obviously I don't, on the other hand, turn aside from a practical decision if things don't work out the way my fancy is hoping. Sam isn't red. I was hoping for a smooth coat from Ted's litter but I was last on the list and Ted was the one "left over." I took a deaf dog from a good trainer/breeder, not because I wanted to be a hero taking such a dog, but because I felt honored to be entrusted with him - Gus' deafness is most likely hereditary and he represents a dead end in his breeder and trainers' favorite line.

Similarly every dog here represents a great responsibility that I feel, to make sure they are happy and healthy. If I can do that, then I feel greatly privileged. If not, then it's my job to find out why, and find someone who can.

I've nursed plenty of rescues through severe illness, brought them back from the brink of euthanasia due to aggression, but I don't feel they needed me. Rather, I'm honored to be an occasional instrument of the God who cares when a fledgling sparrow falls from the nest. If that care includes providing a home, so be it. If not (far more often the case), I feel that I'm no less following His will. At least that's my hope.

 Callie, I didn't mis-read anything you said.

Just because YOU like being a martyr does not mean everyone else has to like it.

Mutts go with everything!!

My dogs just happened to be close in size and color. I have to admit the color works well for me because they get into a lot of dirt, and brown doesn't show as badly. I'd probably think twice before adopting a really light colored dog. But...never say never. If they were the right dog in other areas, I wouldn't say no because of a few extra baths.

Can SOMEONE please tell me where we jumped from talking about getting two dogs to "match" so they'll look nice together to ME being a martyr? 

this has NOTHING ZIP ZERO ABSOLUTELY ROCK BOTTOM NOT-EVEN-ONE-TINY-THING to do with "re-homing" a dog. 

Did I say that *LOUDLY* enough yet?? 

It has nothing to do with me being any sort of martyr.  It simply has to do with the fact that if you're tempted to be dissatisfied with a situation you've found yourself in -- simply give it a thought as to whether it's worth being concerned about.  In my case I simply decided *I* was the one being unreasonable.  I doubt my husband even knew I had a problem!!  T'was my OWN mind I battled -- and was 100% happy with what conclusions I came to.

Shoot it's a valid question to ask yourself -- and I'm NOT accusing a soul of not having done it with respect to re-homing a dog.  I can NOT, for the life of me, even figure where that came from. 

Read the title of the post folks.  I'm simply suggesting it's not a bad thing to occasionally examine one's own motives to see if you're being a bit shallow.  I didn't accuse a soul of it and was talking about myself -- methinks SOMEBUDDY feels a tad guilty here cos usually "the guilty dog barks loudest" (or nastiest as the case may be). 

And shoot folks -- if you don't like what I say -- there's this tiny wee little X in the top right hand corner of your screen -- you can use it if you wanna.  No one is stopping you!!!  And if that giant stick ... er, no.  I won't descend to that no matter how tempting.

Would everyone like to go take their mid-afternoon nice-pills and try this again?  don't think I was doing a thing other than apologizing to Tamara and I surely didn't invite any inane discussion on re-homing talking about something *I* decided **I** was wrong about.  I admitted I was an emotional basket case at one time -- (and I've talked about this before) -- not to mass murder or condemnation of Mom nor apple pie!! 

Sheesh.  The word "martyr" just plain doesn't apply to me -- I do what I want because I WANT to   Gee -- let me check -- I don't think I asked for anyone's approval? 

(making mental note to switch everyone's coffee to half decaf -- maybe it will chill them all back a tad)

calliecritturs

Would everyone like to go take their mid-afternoon nice-pills and try this again? 

 

Good idea! 

 We all make individual decisions concerning dogs based on our lives and our abilities.  Nothing wrong with that.  I don't have a problem with people wanting "matching" dogs if that's what makes them happy.  If that dog comes from a rescue or a shelter, all the better.  If it comes from a reputable breeder, that's cool too.  I have a dog now that I didn't want and planned to find a home for but because of some behavior issues I am the best home for her.  No big deal.  If I could have re-homed her I would have, she's not what I wanted at the time but I do love her and she will live out her life with us.  We all need to recognize that what's important to one person may not be the least important to someone else.  As long as we are loving, responsible dog owner's, it's all good.

 

Oh, goodness, things got a little crazy in here! Callie, after your second post I understand where you're coming from. I do tend to get a preconceived notion in my head about how I want things to be, and then have trouble accepting it when it goes differently. It's something I'm trying to work through. That's actually why I started this topic and it's been really interesting and helpful!

Callie, I think what's getting mixed up here, is that while the discussion is about considering bringing in new dogs and how some people have funny little (admittedly superficial) quirks about what they like - it sounded an awful lot like you were implying that this type of thinking would then apply to decisions people make once a dog is part of the family. Like, I'd give up Ted because he turned out not to be a smooth coat when he grew up a bit, or turned out kind of light framed and girlish looking rather than the hefty boy I was picturing knowing the lines. Or I'd be too flippant to give up a dog because he went stone deaf on me (Gus). I still don't feel that's really been clarified. When you use words like "superficial" and advise someone to "think twice" and then write a post that goes on for multiple screens detailing how you had a dog that didn't live up to expectations and kept him anyway - well, can you see how that sounds like there's an accusation there and maybe even a bit of self-horn-tooting? Just sayin'. We're talking about getting dogs in a responsible way, but following our fancy after that - and you seem to be talking about giving up dogs because they don't match the furniture or fit in my handbag.

Luvntzus

I do tend to get a preconceived notion in my head about how I want things to be, and then have trouble accepting it when it goes differently.

Yeah, exactly -- what you said!!!  And see that's just it -- we're all so individual that what your "preconceived" notions are and what mine are may be worlds apart but we both have to deal with the "accepting it" part.  That WAS the common ground I was trying to find with you -- you said it exactly. 

 

First off -- folks don't expect me to suddenly become brief overnight -- it ain't happening. 

brookcove

how you had a dog that didn't live up to expectations

The operative word there is WHOSE expectations.  MINE.  Not realistic.  Not Davids .. *mine*.  And my **ERRONEOUS** ones.  that was my point ... and i tried to make a huge deal out of it to make it clear and failed miserably. 

brookcove

and kept him anyway 

You make that sound like it was possible that we wouldn't have?  Nope -- not even a thought.  I changed MY expectations.  We helped the dog.  He was family.  It was nothing insurmountable and we had the temperament as a couple TO tackle it.  Some might not have.  I've just always been really glad some unsuspecting couple with small kids didn't get him and have him bite someone and had him PTS.  It sure coulda happened.  The rescue didn't want to place him WITH us because we didn't have kids.  Hows that for ironic?

The thing we all forget is how unbelievably different we all are.  But everyone tends to think that everyone else's living room looks like theirs.  We all type words. They all appear on these screens that look so similar but our lives are so **very** different.  Not bad ... DIFFERENT.

It makes me laugh when people say it sounds like "horn-tooting" because I can't figure out why it would sound like that.  If I had a "normal" dog I wouldnt know what to do with it.

That's no lie folks -- I'm just fortunate LUNA can keep the pug somewhat exercised because I can't.  I can't WALK anywhere.  My walking is super limited and I don't have a big enough house to have a motorized thingy (besides it would encourage me to be more sedentary and I fight that with every breath I draw).  So what the heck would *I* do with a healthy dog?  Do you think I rescue sick dogs for some sort of altruistic "I'm so grand"?? *laughing* not hardly.

I take dogs with skin problems, ambulatory problems,  and other problems because they're problems *I* have so I understand them.  It's like Becca understanding a herder -- what they do, what they need, etc. -- cos it's what she does and what she knows and what she's good at.  Now I may really LIKE herders but it's not my thing. 

I don't know how many ways I can say that I was not talking about re-homing a dog at all.  It was simply about me realizing that my expectations were just plain flawed and wrong (and were honestly not in keeping with ME and how I normally react to anything).  I'm simply talking about when you find yourself unhappy with something -- whether it's a "new" dog or a dog who has been with you -- and something has changed or some external thing (like a dog's color or any one of the millions of things this whole thread has "become";) I'm simply saying to examine your own motives. 

Why does that thing bother you?  Is it a good reason?  Is it something that should be overcome?  Is it something that's just plain a deal-killer for your family??  But let's keep this all in perspective -- this whole thread was about "matching dogs".  I was trying to share something pretty darned personal, to be honest -- I was not in any way shape or form trying to give criteria for re-homing.  It wasn't a part of this AT ALL - it was never EVER a thought. 

brookcove

When you use words like "superficial" and advise someone to "think twice"

These words are defined differently by everyone's situation and everyone's own frame of reference.  I really don't think some of you get how deeply true that is.

Every single one of us is SO different. 

It is simply beyond my wildest understanding why anyone would want their two dogs to "match".  That doesn't make you wrong or bad -- that means I just can't make sense out of that.  Because  I don't understand the whole drive to have anything "match".  I just told someone in an email -- I don't have a pair of shoes that *match* ANYTHING.  I just plain don't. I don't wear jewelry (my skin is too crappy), I don't color coordinate anything (I'm so limited on what I CAN wear that simply finding a fabric I can wear is a huge deal -- who cares what color it is!!). 

Color ME odd -- I know it's not a typical female thing.  So I had to really stretch to find common ground with Tamara.  

I couldn't figure out for the longest time how Billy would cope.  Because pet therapy wasn't do-able for him for a long time.  NOT just for ***ME***.  For him.  All I could think was how he'd have to stay "alone" while the other dogs got to go places that made them feel good.  And that I'd miss that.

You bring up getting rid of a dog because he lost his hearing.  Heckfire -- Muffin had TWO bi-lateral ear ablations (he was completely stone deaf because he had NO ears at all -- no inner, middle or outer ear -- just ear flaps ).  Under his ear flaps he looked like he was from FAO Schwartz. 

What did we do?  *laughing*  I taught him sign language (I've know it and used it since I was a kid).  No biggie.  He developed the most astute nose I've ever known and all the other dogs in the house considered HIM the watch dog -- because he could smell it before anybuddy else knew it was coming.

Altruistic?  No -- we coped.  It was fun.  It was ... Muffin the Intrepid.

See, you guys don't get it.  I just plain don't think that way.  The animals we've had that have been handicapped, impaired, different or whatever?  I'll just say we've learned to celebrate diversity!!  Because we CAN. 

If you want to start a thread about re-homing DO IT.  Have I ever?  You bet.  Not often, but it happens.  But let's not even GO there here.  Because this thread was started by a lady wanting a little reassurance that she wasn't completely not understandable -- but she also wanted to know how to get over and past something that was bothering her. 

 

 

I used to be really focused on how my dogs "looked", and so focused on breed as well.  I've sort of changed my tune over the past year or so and I've now realized that the only thing that matters is what is on the inside.  It's not about what they can do, or not do,  or their appearance etc..  It's who they are, and yes they are all individuals even if they look alike.  I feel that way about people and animals. 

I felt like Tamara was just wondering whether anyone else felt that way (ie, sort of casually uneasy that her pack was "mismatched" and starting to itch to "balance it out";). Some people said "Yes, I get that way too." Others said, "No, I don't mind my eclectic crew." I said I had the same feeling, but in a different direction, that I get constant urges to go in different directions.

I can't get in your head, Callie, but what I'm trying to explain is that what you've said, and unfortunately still seem to be repeating, reads like you disapprove of all the above motives. That's what . . . .

I'm simply saying to examine your own motives.

. . . .looks like to me and it seems to have struck other people the same way, unfortunately, or I wouldn't have made any effort to unravel it - since it doesn't really bother me. You can't see where the above sounds sort of preachy?

And again, you responded to this:

You bring up getting rid of a dog because he lost his hearing.

By starting this story:

 

Heckfire -- Muffin had TWO bi-lateral ear ablations (he was completely stone deaf because he had NO ears at all -- no inner, middle or outer ear -- just ear flaps ).  Under his ear flaps he looked like he was from FAO Schwartz.  What did we do?  *laughing*  I taught him sign language (I've know it and used it since I was a kid).  No biggie.

If the point wasn't to unfavorably contrast someone who might have had a reason to give up a deaf dog, with your experience, then that paragraph seems like a non sequitur. Hence my continued confusion.

By the way, you misread my previous post. Gus, even though he's stone deaf, is in the process of being retrained here on hand signals and "buzzer" collar, for working. It's been fun because I haven't used ALS since I taught special ed kids almost twenty years ago. I'm amazed at how it comes back. You can read about it in the Sports and Working forum. 

The subject of whether a dog comes or goes or stays, and why, is quite on topic, I feel. People are funny - and I take them as they come - when I was placing a lot of dogs, I didn't mind at all if someone said, "I'm hoping for a smooth/red/rough/prickeared" dog or whatever. I found when  I expected the average person to be average, then I wasn't disappointed when the world yielded few superheroes.

I got tons of people with what I called "My Dead Dog" mindsets - the next dog needed to "hook" them in some way related to the dog they just lost. That sounds terrible, but I learned really fast that there was no need to look for an exact match - just find the best dogs for the applicants and their hearts would do the rest.

It was hilarious to hear them saying, "Oh, he's just like Mabel!" and Mabel was tiny, smooth coated, mostly black and really laid back - while the new dog might be a huge, rough coat with lots of white and some brown. But maybe their favorite part of "Mabel" was a particular way she brought the ball back and laid down and watched them pick it up - and "George" did that too.

Oddly, contrary to what you'd think, these placements never went awry. Just like when I narrow down my choices of potential puppies to a few suitable breeders, then decide based on something silly like a cool pedigree or the potential for tri colors in the litter.

What's most important to selecting a new dog is to figure out the basics ahead of time - because once any normal person starts looking at particulars, their emotions come into play. Ie, don't look at puppies (or talk to breeders) or go to the shelter until you know what you want and the best way to get it. Then, within those boundaries, you can let your heart run wild. This, anyway, has worked out well to prevent me from having 23,186 animals.

" You can't see where the above sounds sort of preachy?"

No, why should it sound "preachy" to tell someone to look at their own actions and make their own decision if it's right or wrong.  We ALL constantly self-examine and it's the only way to come to a conclusion.  I didn't say "do it my way" -- I said to examine yourself.  It's a personal decision. 

If you come to the conclusion this dog won't work fine.  But it's a decision to be arrived after examining "self" - your own situation, your own motives .. .then simply proceed. 

BUT I STILL SAY THIS IS ***NOT*** A DISCUSSION ABOUT RE-HOMING. 

You keep telling me I'm doing both things -- in your last post you said I was encouraging someone to give up a dog because it was going deaf -- I wasn't ... hence I mentioned Muffin.  I am NOT encouraging anyone to re-home a dog here.  NOR am I encouraging someone to keep a dog that's not working in their situation. I've repeated THAT ad nauseum.

NEUTRAL.  Re-homing is a difficult topic -- THIS IS NOT about that. 

Please get OFF the re-homing thing.  It's not appropriate -- it's not germaine.  That's NOT what this thread was begun for -- if you want to talk about re-homing START a re-homing thread.  Please stay on topic, and honestly you're obviously going to take things out of context and then say I'm saying things I'm not.

 I refuse to continue to dissect this.  It's boring and it's inaccurate as heck.  I feel simply like I'm being baited by someone who frankly should know ME better.  If you want to disagree do so.  But don't micro-manage my conversation here. 

I'm DONE.  I'm not going to rise to this sort of silly bait. 

orangedog, how did I miss that you're getting another Dobe?!!!!?!?  Adorable!

Gracie has been an only dog, but has lived with other breeds all her life.  The others have all been purebred until this latest home with a Border Collie mix and a presumed Akita mix.  She stands out, but I don't worry about it.  MY next dog will either be another Dobe, or another short-haired, sleek, athletic, intelligent dog because that's what fits my lifestyle and desires for my dogs.

P.S. - luvntzus is proof that she already knows the dog's personality is more important than looks.  She rehomed Cinnabun and Fudge because, although they were Tzus and looked like matches to Gingerbread, their personalities simply didn't fit their life.  I don't think she is looking to get another matchy dog.  I think her whole post is acknowledging that sometimes a good blending of personalities means physical appearances that might not match.

Well, my dogs really do match.  Four Parsons, two heavily broken, two broken both with faces split exaclty down the middle.  Yep, those four definitely match.  Even my big Sheepie kind of matches, white/gray scruffy, wirey coated dog.  I LOVE Parsons and thats why I have them.  I have wanted one ever since I was really, really young.  I just got lucky with getting two males and two females that all get along, so that was the determination for having 4.  Same-sex aggression can be a problem in some lines.  I've fostered a few dogs and while they got along with my current dogs, I never really bonded with them.  Then Daisy came along and it was an instant match.  Sure, they all match, but if they looked different, that would be fine too.