Breastfeeding in public.

spiritdogs

I think we all know that there are moms who simply feed their kids wherever they are, because the child is hungry, and others who seem to want to call attention to what they are doing so that others *will* be shocked.  There's a big difference between merely exercising a fundamental right to feed a child, and rubbing people's noses in it just to reiterate your entitlement to do so.  Now, as to the question of someone berating a nursing mom in public, that is also rude behavior, and I do not support or condone it one iota.  So, really, all we have here is a situation where people should accord one another a modicum of respect.

I totally agree with you, Anne.

 I grew up around breastfeeding women. I was 6 when my youngest brother was born and was quite involved in learning how babies are raised. My mother had friends that were breastfeeding babies in front of me comfortably as well. It was such a common place occurrence that I thought of it as completely natural. In fact, I remember my mother telling me when I was about 12 that she had been told not to breastfeed in church and I was thoroughly outraged that anyone should tell a mother there were times and places that breastfeeding wasn't appropriate. In my mind, there is no such time and place. In my mind at the age of 12, a baby fed when a baby was hungry and too bad if that was in the middle of a church sermon.

Since growing up I've realised that some people don't like it and can understand why as it is difficult for people to get their head around breasts being private and yet also being public sometimes. I can't say it bothers me in the least. I have had one or two moments when a woman has started breastfeeding on a bus or at a cafe where I've gone "Oh, breast" but it's about the way the woman does it and the folks around you. If she looks embarrassed, or if people around her look embarrassed, then I get a bit funny and look away. If she is thoroughly relaxed about it, and no one is staring at her aghast, then I barely register.

If I were ever to have a child, it would be strapped to my chest for the first 6 months of its life and would feed whenever the hell it wanted to. And I wouldn't pay much attention to being discreet because I was taught it's no big deal. My mother was only ever discreet when she was surrounded by people she knew would kick up a stink.  Body shyness is something I've had and got over and am so very much happier for it.

My friend's SIL was breastfeeding at the table in a busy sit-down restaurant with her siblings and parents.  This SIL is VERY free and open with herself, so there was no attempt at discretion and...  her brother and parents were very uncomfortable.  Upon seeing their discomfort, she squealed "What's wrong?!  You can't handle seeing the BOOBIE!!!!?!  It's just a boobie!  Over here! A BOOOOOOOBIE!" to attract more attention to herself.  She may have been entitled, but I think she was relatively inconsiderate and rude. 

For the record, I don't care if women want to breastfeed in public or anywhere they feel is appropriate.  (Ok, well, the strip bar may not be one of them, but, I'm not going to campaign for laws to stop them. lol)  I highly doubt that most women are "out for the attention" - but I do think some do have the political agenda that lends itself to public displays that others may find unsettling.

BTW, Odd that Salma Hayek filmed breastfeeding a baby in Sierra Leone just hit the news.

miranadobe

My friend's SIL was breastfeeding at the table in a busy sit-down restaurant with her siblings and parents.  This SIL is VERY free and open with herself, so there was no attempt at discretion and...  her brother and parents were very uncomfortable.  Upon seeing their discomfort, she squealed "What's wrong?!  You can't handle seeing the BOOBIE!!!!?!  It's just a boobie!  Over here! A BOOOOOOOBIE!" to attract more attention to herself.  She may have been entitled, but I think she was relatively inconsiderate and rude. 

Holey Moley!  I've known a lot of breastfeeding moms (I was a La Leche League leader for about 10 years) and I honestly never knew anyone who would behave like that in public.  Has the woman never heard of a receiving blanket?  If I was ever out in public with someone who did that, I don't think I'd ever go out with them again, at least until they weren't nursing any more.

Joyce

Yeah, I agree with Joyce. Actually, that sounds like the kind of person I wouldn't want to be out with at all, ever. (Sorry!)

I've come across nursing mothers in the mall several times, usually sitting in those waiting areas they have in the center (you know, designed for the bored husbands/boyifriends?). I've never seen anyone being "in your face" about it, just sitting there quietly, usually with a blanket or shawl positioned some way for modesty, having a quiet moment with their baby. The only thing it made me think is, "Oh, *that's* what they're doing, I should probably stop staring even though the baby is cute, because I don't want to seem like a creep or make the mother uncomfortable." In that situation, for me, it's more like "they're sharing an intimate moment and nobody should intrude." But really, I think 99% of people don't even notice. Let alone care.

3-7 is the average age for kids to be weaned? That just seems really old to me.

Luvntzus

3-7 is the average age for kids to be weaned? That just seems really old to me.

I think in Western culture most babies are weaned by a year. 

denise m

Luvntzus

3-7 is the average age for kids to be weaned? That just seems really old to me.

 

I think in Western culture most babies are weaned by a year. 

My mother was a nearly rabid, shout it from the mountaintops-type, pro-breastfeeder. She always said once the kid grows teeth, all bets are off. If the kid can bite, she argued, the kid can lay off the nipple! (apparently I was a biter!)

I haven't read the other responses and I have no puerile nudge-wink innuendo. Babies should be breast-fed and breasts on a human are for the same function as any other animal, nursing young ones. It is man and a misinterpretation of unconstitutional law that views the breast as a reproductive organ, which it is not. It is a sack of flesh and fat with a milk-producing gland in it.

You don't have to get over yourself. Others need to grow up and get a grip on themselves.

My issue with the breast feeding thing is that I really don't think how one person does/doesn't do it is anyone else's business and everyone has a different view of breasts, no one is more or less "right" than the other.  Maybe for one person a breast is just a sack of flesh for feeding a baby, but without getting too "TMI" I personally don't have a problem with enjoying breasts as a sexual object as well.  I've never had a baby and I like my boobs, I like having boobs.  If/when/how/where I breast feed my future babies will be solely up to me and my DH.

Actually, you can train a baby with teeth not to bite pretty much the same way you can train a puppy not to bite.  You just say "OW" loudly enough to startle him/her and break the suction, removing nipple from mouth.  It doesn't take long to get the idea. With a puppy I guess you'd just walk away, but the general idea is the same.

Joyce

Cita

Yeah, I agree with Joyce. Actually, that sounds like the kind of person I wouldn't want to be out with at all, ever. (Sorry!)

Trust me, if it wasn't her sister-in-law, I don't think she'd hang out with her, either.  Actually, she's set a limit on how much time to spend with her and that incident was sort of the last straw.

fuzzy_dogs_mom

  Actually, you can train a baby with teeth not to bite pretty much the same way you can train a puppy not to bite.  You just say "OW" loudly enough to startle him/her and break the suction, removing nipple from mouth.  It doesn't take long to get the idea. With a puppy I guess you'd just walk away, but the general idea is the same.

Joyce 

That is exactly how you do it.  Riley bite me twice.  The first time I did the above method, the second time she wouldn't let go and I had to flick her in the head (trust me it didn't hurt and my doc said to do it).  After that she learned...no bite, no boob.  By the time she was done, I think she had a full mouth of teeth and it wasn't a problem.

 I've got no problem with anyone feeding a baby wherever they may be. If it's ok to bottle feed a baby in that situation, then it's ok in my mind to breast feed there.  You shoudln't have to hide. In fact, I think one of the few places I might be annoyed, is if someone did it in a bathroom. It sounds odd, but I have my reasoning. They would probably choose the cleanest stall. So, they'd be occupying the cleanest stall for a while. I don't think you need to make announcement about what you're doing, but you don't need a blanket over the baby either. I have no issue with it, but I think it's more obvious when I see a woman with a blanket over her shoulder that has tiny feet sticking out the other end.

Liesje

but without getting too "TMI" I personally don't have a problem with enjoying breasts as a sexual object as well. 

It's in the mind of the beholder. Some people have a foot fetish. Others like necks or ankles. The sexual organ is not an appendage, It's the 3 lbs of pinksih-gray matter between the ears.