Breastfeeding in public.

It can be sone so discretely that no one need be shocked, IMO.  My sister breast fed all of her children in public if needed and rarely received more than a second glance.  I have seen women who seem to be making a sort of statement of the public feeding and I don't understand that at all.  Maybe some exhibitionist issues?  But even at that, if a slight view of a bit of breast is shocking anyone in this day and age, they have just crawled out of a cave. lol  I personally think the sight of a Mother feeding her child is a beautiful sight that captures the essence of Motherhood.  I agree that if someone doesn't like it, well just look the other way.

My daughter breast fed all three of her daughters, and was a "pro" at discreet.  Really, her mannerism was so controlled and people could barely tell what she was doing.  She believed in "attachment" rearing so the infants were on her (or her DH) chest most of the time anyway.  They never used a carrier; always carried the babes in (I can't remember what they are called) a sling type material.  She just brought a blankie over herself and kept on talking like nothing different was going on.

Yes, she encountered people who frowned at the idea.  But, that was really their problem.

I applaud breastfeeding moms who do it whereever they may be.  Its a natural thing that no one should be deprived of (mom or babe).  Don't let anyone make you feel awkward. 

BTW...I do just this:

Chuffy

next time you see a lady nursing in public, SMILE at her.

JackieG

It can be sone so discretely that no one need be shocked, IMO.

This is the thing though - I am not so sure this is true for EVERY mother and EVERY child.  What about squirmy babies?  What about Nosy babies - the ones that unlatch to have a look round the room before latching back on again?  What about "bigger babies"?  Babies 1, 2, 3 years old - bigger?  How do you do THAT discreetly?

When William was born, I had a bit of a struggle at each feeding time, to get him to latch properly.  If you get the latch wrong, you get sore, cracked and bleeding nipples.  The baby doesn't get enough milk and gets hungry again very quickly.  When the baby doesn't get enough milk at each feed, it has an adverse effect on your supply.  So, the latch is very, very important and, frankly, I needed to see what I was doing, which is not conducive to "discretion" .  As a result, I *WAS* closeted at home, until we were more practised at it.  That is NOT OK in my book.  I thought we had moved away from an age where a woman's place was in the home.... we haven't.  That is only true if you want to go out in a mini skirt an no bra, unfortunately!   The sexual woman is welcome or at least tolerated, in most public places.  The nurturing woman is still confined.  (Aside - the act of childbirth is called "confinement" - apt, no?)

 So we got past the very newborn stage, and I started to venture out into the world with him, but I was only "allowed" to do so on the condition I put a blanket over what I was doing (as if it was shameful!)  I have big boobs; I'm not a lucky woman with dinky little ones that are pretty much covered when the baby is attached.  Well, the blanket made me more conspicuous and drew more attention.  William didn't really like the blanket idea; he squirmed and fussed, drawing yet more attention.... just in time for the blanket to slip and my whole boob to be exposed.  I was MORTIFIED.  I don't think I could have felt much worse if I had had to take my knickers off there and then. That, pretty much, is a snap shot of why I sometimes resorted to formula when I had to go out.

I want to live in a world where that blanket isn't even necessary, where a woman does not feel ashamed should her breast be exposed in this ontext (no matter how MUCH is exposed) and no one even NOTICES an exposed breast when a woman is feeding, any more than they do an exposed arm or an exposed foot.  If that's going to happen, more women have to feel comfortable breastfeeding in public, and that's why I ask for encouragement

JackieG

I have seen women who seem to be making a sort of statement of the public feeding and I don't understand that at all.  Maybe some exhibitionist issues? 

The key word here ^ ^ is "seem".  A woman nurses her child freely and rather than seeing it as a beautiful sight that captures the essence of Motherhood, too many folks cast aspersions on her character, implying that she is doing this for her own gratification/that she is an exhibitionist/that she is immoral/indiscreet/common/without shame...  It really is very sad.

I would like to see more of these women you describe - the ones "making a statement".  I suspect the woman is not anouncing loudly to the surrounding public of her intention to feed.  I suspect she is not even carrying a large sign with words to that effect.  I suspect she is just removing her breast from her clothing and feeding her child, without further ado, making no attempt to hide it in any way.  I suppose she IS "without shame" in a way....  She doesn't feel the shame I did, or she has got past it.  Well, I say GOOD FOR HER!  I envy her.  I aspire to be her.  She doesn't have "issues" - I DO, thanks to a lifetime of social conditioning, but I am determined to get past them and carve a different world for my children's children. 

Wow, it looks like I'm a feminist.  Who knew?!!

I think way too big a stink is made over this.  We can see violence and nobody bats an eye, but a nursing mother is offensive?  Gimme a break.  I nursed my son twenty years ago and did so in public if it was his feeding time.  It's natural, normal, and the only people with the problem, IMHO, are the people who make it an issue.  I've seen more tastelessly exposed flesh in the past few years than I wanted to because of the fashion industry, but breastfeeding does not fall into that category.  Sheesh!

Before I had Riley I couldn't understand why anyone would want to BF in public. 

Then we were at the state fair when she was 2 months old and I sat down in the picnic area and nursed her - I couldn't bring a bottle since it was 100 degrees and didn't want to waste frozen milk when I would be there.  I threw a blanket over and everything was fine and to be honest no one knew.  I was discreet not because I was embarrassed but because I didn't want my boobs shown to all of Wisconsin. 

I also nursed her on the plane to CA last year with a 50 year old man sitting next to me.  What are you going to do?  My choices were nurse or let her scream, I think everyone on the plane perferred the nursing.

We were at a baby shower in a restaurant and she was getting hungry, I forgot a pumped bottle so I had to nurse her.  I asked the hostess where I could go and she said, sit on the toilet in the bathroom...well I wouldn't do that - sorry that's gross.  So knowing they couldn't do anything I put a blanket over Riley and me and sat back down.  I definitely got some looks, but the Mom to be told them that until they have another option other than to "sit on the pot" they were going to have to deal with it.

What annoys me are the people that congratulate you for nursing, but then immediately ask, when are you going to wean her - like I was doing something wrong?  That was annoying.

Chuffy

What about "bigger babies"?  Babies 1, 2, 3 years old - bigger?  How do you do THAT discreetly?

Isn't that a little too old? I don't have children so I'm not sure, but 2 and 3 years old.....?

 Well, honestly, we live in a prudish society. Showing nipples (at least over here in the US) is considered offensive and vulgar (like dropping your drawers). So, it's one thing if the kid is latched on and not much is "showing." It's quite another if the kid is squirming around and there's visible nipple bouncing around and trying to find him, you know? I don't know that it's so much a statement against breast feeding as it is a statement against nipples, if that makes any sense!

(Why can guys go shirtless and bare theirs when women have to keep theirs covered at all costs? Bizarre.)

I don't see why people make a big deal of this.  Every woman I've ever seen breastfeeding has done so pretty discreetly.  It was obvious what they were doing, but not like there were boobs and nipples hanging out.  And even if something does show, it's probably more awkward for me than for them and that's my problem.

I never BF my kiddo's, in public...with some planning it was never necessary...I also personally didn't find the idea appealing any more than changing my child's diaper in public view either.

Some things for me are best done privately...not about what others may or may not think but really more about what I am comfortable with. It's not "society" any more than my not liking to sit in the window of a restaurant while eating there so people can watch ME eat. I don't like doing things one can do privately...in public.

I hate tables at restaurants...always prefer a booth...I change my kids in a bathroom not on a mall bench...I fuss with my makeup in a bathroom rather than the middle of a walkway or at my job when I had one...I don't carry on phone convos with people in a crowd...I don't care for strangers in my home, like repairmen or such...I don't try things on in a store I take them home...I know my size in most thigns anyways...I always, always prefer privacy.

What others do is not my concern and honestly I don't notice other people much unless they seem to be a threat or of concern, to my kids or myself.

honestly, i dont even get what the big deal is with nipples... yeah, we cover them up, but so what one sees a nipple from time to time? i have had my boobs pop out in public and i think my friends were more embarassed than me. i just put it back in and went on. not like people have never seen a nipple before... (in fact i get more embarassed when my fly is open, lol) i also dont have much of an issue with sunbathing topless. in germany people do it all the time (including me). i dont see why breastfeeding should be any different...

society will always have weird rules that dont make sense. you just have to either accept it and comply or let it go and not care what society tells you...

So much of the public's discomfort or whatever you wish to call it with the sight of a woman openly feeding her child has to do with Western society's conflict over the breast.  It is a symbol of sexiness to many and they can't separate the two in their minds.  In countries where women never cover their breasts the whole thing is a non issue.  I doubt these women order peek a boo bras from Victoria's Secrets as the breast is considered the part of the anatomy that provides milk to babies and not a source of sexual gratification or excitement.

 I breastfed both of mine in public when I needed to, and I would do it again. I was pretty fortunate, I never had anyone comment or stare, even in restaurants, and I felt like most times no one even knew what I was doing.

I breast fed my babies in public when it was necessary although like Gina I just found it more relaxing and enjoyable to do in the comfort and privacy of my own home. I totally agree that women should be able to BF in public without discrimination but I also think it is incumbent on mothers to be somewhat sensitive to the public around her. I would not accept the need to BF if I were in the company of a group of teenage boys. I would not accept the need to BF in a public swimming pool, which recently happened in this area. I think nursing mothers should use a bit of common sense when possible. Walking a few steps way from crowed areas or even turning around does not seem like a big deal to me - but that's me. As for older babies, by the time your child is 2 or 3 I don't really see the need for public breast feeding. At that age their thirst or hunger can be satisfied in other ways. Leave the suckling for more intimate and bonding time. JMO