Breastfeeding in public.

denise m

As for older babies, by the time your child is 2 or 3 I don't really see the need for public breast feeding. At that age their thirst or hunger can be satisfied in other ways. Leave the suckling for more intimate and bonding time.

I agree.  The only time I ever did it in public was because I had to (nothing else available) and she was under 8 months old.  I nursed Riley until she was almost 18 months old.  She stopped it (it was only right before bed time).  I was fine with that.  But by that time you are right, it was a bonding/comforting thing not a nourishment thing.

 I breastfed both of my girls in public.  My issue was more in finding a comfortable place to do it.  Well that and wearing the right clothing.  I wasn't worried about my boobs, more my flabby gut showing.  What I would like to see is nursing rooms in more of the big stores and places people go.  In one mall in Tbay there was a nursing room in one of the bathrooms.  It was sectioned off by a wall with a cafe door.  There was a place for your stroller and even a little play area for toddlers if they were with you.  And a nice comfy bench to sit on.  It was especially nice in the beginning when we were learning to latch.  Like you pointed out Chuffy, seeing what you are doing is a big thing in those first few weeks.  Not worrying about offending anyone, or showing more than I wanted to was nice.  The nice quiet non distracting atmosphere was nice too.  When you're learning, its important to be relaxed.  I'm not sure that is the stage to be public BFing anyway.   I never saw the beauty in that stage.  More so I felt awkward and self conscious and more often than not, like crying out in pain...we had a rough start, Kali and I.  Kelci was better, but even with her, there was a fair amount of discomfort in the beginning. 

As to your own personal qualms about it, I think its just one of those things you need to deal with yourself.  When I first moved to the city, getting on the city bus was a nervous event for me.  I always felt like everyone was staring at me.  What if I did something wrong?  Put the wrong amount of money in.  Missed my stop?  Got off too early?  But the more I did it, the easier it got.  Eventually it was an non event.  I know its not the same thing, there's nothing socially "wrong" with riding the bus obviously, but eventually you'd just get used to it.  And the more women who do it as a non event the easier it will be for newbies to do it like that from the start as well.  

Oh and FWIW, if you ever see me BFing in public, the smile and nod will do.  No need to come congradulate me...

I didn't read all the replies but I feed all three of my children via: breast and my oldest is 29 my youngest 7.  It was easier with the 7 year old I was older and more comfortable with myself and my choices.  But I was pretty good at being discreet..  If I were in a small group I would remove myself most of the time just so I didn't' make people feel uncomfortable.  I would wait until the baby latched and was in full swing and re-join my company and they didn't even know he was feeding.  I could cook and nurse my baby at the same time.  If I were going somewhere and I wasn't sure I would pump a bottle in advance.

Honestly I don't think I EVER had anyone give me dirty looks or stare or anything negative.  I think the hangup is with the nursing mothers more than the on lookers.

I nurse in public all the time and have become quite good at it.  I had my worries when I was first nursing but now that I have been forced to do it a few times it isn't a big deal anymore...my husband is a little more leary.  I do use a nursing wrap that helps me to be discreet.  If I am going somewhere I really don't want to have to nurse, then I will just take a pumped bottle, but sometimes it is hard to plan ahead.  I often nurse in my car too when I am out running errands with the baby.  I think it is a personal choice and I have decided I really don't care what anyone else thinks.  If my baby is hungry, I am going to feed her.  I plan to nurse for as long as she chooses to, even if she is two years old.  It is good for them and a great way to bond.  By then, it would only be before bed anyway.  I am also someone who either wears or carries my baby in most stores.  It is easier for me and wearing your baby is supposed to be so good for them so I do it all the time.  I have a moby wrap that I use.

Cita

(Why can guys go shirtless and bare theirs when women have to keep theirs covered at all costs? Bizarre.)

from a guy's perspective.... guys should keep theirs covered too... unless you are at the beach or something, and i have no problem with women exposing theirs at the beach either... 

 ok I dont have kids, but I think as human beings we need to be a little more mature in general.  Babies NEED mother milk, it's completely natural I dont know why people are shocked about it!! breasts are there for that very reason, they need that respect in a way, they're not just a 'sexual' thing.

Honestly i dont think I've ever seen a woman i public breastfeeding, isn't that sad? cuz I see ALOT of babies!

I think thats really sad that you felt uncomfortable in your own home breastfeeding. I say do it, what matters is the health of your baby & thats it, forget about what everyone else thinks.

luvmyswissy

I feed all three of my children via: breast and my oldest is 29 my youngest 7.

I think 7 is kind of pushing it, but 29?  Hee, Hee. Just kidding. I know what you were saying LOL!!!!  

Breastfeeding wasn't as accepted when my boys were babies as it is now, but they were both fed in restaurants, church, public transportation, etc.  The key is just to wear a top that can be lifted up or unbuttoned from the bottom. Honestly, you can toss a light blanket over your shoulder to cover the baby and nobody except maybe another nursing mother would have a clue. If anyone is so nosy as to lift the blanket to peek at the baby, well ... they deserve whatever they see. I absolutely never worried about it and I don't think I ever offended anyone.  If I did, nobody ever said anything. Not that it would have mattered.

Joyce

BlackLabbie

Chuffy

What about "bigger babies"?  Babies 1, 2, 3 years old - bigger?  How do you do THAT discreetly?

Isn't that a little too old? I don't have children so I'm not sure, but 2 and 3 years old.....?

I am glad you asked

No it is not too old.  WHO recommend continuing breastfeeding till at least 2, or as long after as mother and baby want to carry one, with no upper age limit.  It's safe to say they probably won't be asking for breastmilk once they are married

Considered over the period of evolution and various cultures around the world, the age at which kids wean varies a lot, anywhere between 3 and 7 is average!  Some wean earlier, some later.  When you think about it, this makes sense.  While kids don't need breastmilk so much for food as they get older, they do need the antibodies that the milk provides, especially in their second year - that is the main function of the milk, to counter the fact that most babies are starting to get more active then, and get more "into everything".  Interestingly, their immune system matures between 6 and 8 years - more than a coincedence, no? 

Also interesting - as the child gets older, they need less milk in relation to their size as they get nutrients from other foods, but the milk is more concentrated in antibodies.  Did you know breastmilk is being used in research in the fight against cancer?  It's also great for topical application for a wide range of cuts, bumps, sores, bruises and minor infections.  Seriously.  Just squirt it on   And we in the west DENY kids this awesome golden liquid, because we think it's "weird" or "icky".  It's really quite strange how twisted our society has become!

I personally would not feel comfortable breastfeeding an older baby oustide the home -  that would be tied in with morning and evening cuddle time whenever possible for me.  But I do think that a woman should not be harassed if she DOES choose to do it at a later age outside the home.  There are times when we all need to poke our noses OUT of other people's business, and this is one of those times.  By the same token, I also don't feel 100% comfortable with the idea of a child of school age still at the breast, but I think if a woman wants to do it, let her get on with it.  She is really NOT doing any harm to the child psychologically, physically or even sexually.  I own up to the fact that my discomfort is purely a knee jerk reaction on my part, because we are simply not used to the sight of children doing it, as well as babies. Purely from an objectional standpoint, it is only relatively recently in our history that this has become frowned on.... maybe to the detriment of the health of mothers and babies everywhere?  The longer the child breastfeeds, the greater the benefit to his health - and his mother too.  Did you know the longer you breastfeed, the lower your chance of breast cancer?  True. 

Cita

 Well, honestly, we live in a prudish society. Showing nipples (at least over here in the US) is considered offensive and vulgar (like dropping your drawers). So, it's one thing if the kid is latched on and not much is "showing." It's quite another if the kid is squirming around and there's visible nipple bouncing around and trying to find him, you know? I don't know that it's so much a statement against breast feeding as it is a statement against nipples, if that makes any sense!

(Why can guys go shirtless and bare theirs when women have to keep theirs covered at all costs? Bizarre.)

Thank you   Especially the part about men's nipples not being a problem!

It does seem to be the nipples that are the problem for a lot of people, but to those folk I say: nipples are not genitalia. Sometimes they are sexual, sometimes they are sexy and sometimes they are used for sexual purposes, but the same can be said of hands, mouths, necks, legs and feet! (In some countries and cultures, women aren't allowed to show any of these, or even their upper arms, face or hair.  We call THAT oppression.  Yet when the same thing happens in our own culture, albeit on a smaller scale, we called it "prudishness".  Food for thought.)

It is so sad that people have lost sight of CONTEXT and common sense in this issue.  Instead, everyone is very much focused on their own comfort zone and basically, if you see something you don't like, complain about it and demand that it is taken away so you don't have to deal with it.  This is hardly healthy, IMO...

rwbeagles

I also personally didn't find the idea appealing any more than changing my child's diaper in public view either.

I dislike this comparison.  Yes, nappy changing is not a "public" activity, but this is more for hygiene reasons than comfort levels or modesty.  Breastfeeding is certainly not an unhygenic activity!  

Sometimes it's nice to sit down somewhere quiet and have a little bonding time.  In my opinion and experience that's not always possible or necessary.  My yard stick is, if it's OK for others to eat here, then it's ok for my baby to eat here (barring posh adult only places obviously).  I much prefer to sit down at the table and eat a meal in the privacy of my home, but have I ever grabbed a sandwich on the run?  You betcha!  I might sit in a booth in a restaurant rather than a table by the window - but should I be MADE to sit there, because other folks don't want to see me have a meal?  Would I place a blanket over my head in case someone else didn't like the way I was eating?  Of course not.  The very idea is absurd

I think you are very lucky not to have been caught short.  Believe me, *I* tried not to be as well, but you know what they say about the "best laid plans"!  Some newborns need feeding 10 or 12 times a day - if you are out for a day or half a day I can't see a way round it, unless you are at a facility that provides you with somewhere suitable. 

rwbeagles

What others do is not my concern and honestly I don't notice other people much unless they seem to be a threat or of concern, to my kids or myself.

I wish more people shared your view!

denise m

I totally agree that women should be able to BF in public without discrimination but I also think it is incumbent on mothers to be somewhat sensitive to the public around her.

Why?   Not being picky, a genuine question.  

It's a well known fact you can't please everyone.  If you latch the baby on quickly, quietly and calmly, there may still be someone who caught a flash of nipple and wished you'd used a blanket.  If you use a blanket, there is very likely still going to be someone who thinks you should sit in the corner and face the wall.  Some might prefer you leave the room altogether, or might vehemently believe you should have stayed at home to do that sort of thing.  It seems rather silly to place so much responsibility of the shoulders of the mother, who can have NO IDEA what values those around her hold and which ones to cater for!

I am considerate of other patrons when I am out.  If William is screaming and making a racket, I find a way to get him quiet fast, or I get him out of there.  Now, if another woman has a hungry baby and she is farting around looking for somewhere quiet to sit and get her blanket out while the kid screams, I would think she was highly inconsiderate.  Get over yourself woman, and stick a boob in that kid's mouth, so we don't have to listen to that god-awful noise!

A cousin recently had a baby.  It's so sad how hung up she is about breastfeeding - at least as bad as I was.  The baby is PLAINLY hungry - not crying yet, but definitely hungry.  Instead of simply acting on the hunger sign and feeding, she fannies around, puts it off, anounces she is going to another room, debates whether just to take him home and do it there... and all the while he's getting hungrier and eventually he is crying and then screaming the place down.  Way to CREATE a fussy baby!  The BEAUTY of breastfeeding is that it is, literally, fast food!  There's nothing to sterilise, mix, warm up or cool down.  I want to say to her: "you can be feeding the baby in less time than it takes to explain the fact that he needs it - so just do it!" but I can't because I was exactly the same!

denise m

As for older babies, by the time your child is 2 or 3 I don't really see the need for public breast feeding. At that age their thirst or hunger can be satisfied in other ways. Leave the suckling for more intimate and bonding time. JMO

I would also attempt to keep breastfeeding of older babies at home if possible, but the trouble is, they get to an age where they can SAY "ba bas" or "milk!" or what have you.  I'm guessing I would rather just feed the kiddo what they want - hey, there is nothing healthier! - than have strangers turn and stare because I got a toddler tantruming and screaming for "BOOBOOS!"  Breastmilk isn't JUST food and drink.  It is much, much more than that.  I see 3-4yo kids with dummies, because young children have a need to suckle - even if they are not hungry or thirsty.  Having thought about it, I would MUCH rather see a kid suckling on a breast at that age, if s/he NEEDED to suckle, rather than on an artificial nipple which ruins the mouth and let's face, it just looks nasty.  (Mind you, I have an aversion to plastic, so I am biased in that regard.)

luvmyswissy

I think the hangup is with the nursing mothers more than the on lookers.

Not true at all!  Google it - see some of the comments people make about the sight of breastfeeding in public, or the image of the same online.

If there is no issue and it's all in their imagination, why are their laws protecting breastfeeding in the UK and most states in America? 

Mind you, that said, if I went and sat on my park bench and breastfed William, as the law stands at the moment, I would have run a serious risk of being charged with indecent exposure.  Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous.

I see this word "discreet" pop up all over the place when breastfeeding is mentioned; there is this constant pressure to "do it discreetly" and THAT is where the hang ups come from.  What does "do it discreetly" MEAN anyway?  The simplest way to break it down is: "do it the way *I* think it should be done".

Chuffy

Why?   Not being picky, a genuine question.  

I just think it shows common courtesy in certain situations. As I said, in a room filled with young adolescent  boys, I think I would just excuse myself. If I knew BF in front of my grandfather would embarrass or make him uncomfortable I would not do it there either. Most people and most places are fine and I certainly wouldn't suggest that the baby go without nursing. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Other times you can decide that moving away and finding a more private area is not that big of deal.

My rule of thumb for weaning is when they have both upper and lower teeth. Ouch! Lucky for my boys they were later in the teething department so they were weaned at just about a year and right onto cow's milk.

BF does reduce the risk of breast cancer by 4.3% for every year of feeding. There is also a 7% risk reduction for each child born. BF is also a great way to lose that extra weight as it burns an extra 500 cal/day.   

Chuffy

I would also attempt to keep breastfeeding of older babies at home if possible, but the trouble is, they get to an age where they can SAY "ba bas" or "milk!" or what have you.

JMHO, if you can ask for it, you're too old.

But, again, I don't have any children yet....so, who knows, my opinion may change by then.