What is THE most Romantic thing you have experienced??

When we first met, I got stranded with no way to get home.  So I stayed at his house, in his bed.  He kipped on the sofa.  The next day I fond out from someone else taht he would have, er, liked to, youknow, but he wasn't going to take advantage.  At the time I didn't know any 17-18 year old lads that would have done that and I was touched that he made no move whatsoever, despite the fact I was out of my tree.

Shortly after we started seeing each other (5 years or so later).  We'd been out for a few drinks and we were walking home and we stopped on the bridge to admire the view over the river.  It was so beautiful.  It was a FREEZING cold night and there was mist drifting across the top of the water.  There were also lots of little points of light under the surface of the water, no idea what they were, maybe fish or something, IDK...  Everything was touched by moonlight and we stood for ages just looking at it with our arms round each other not saying anything.  Then we started talking about the future and kids and stuff.

We used to spend the weekends together and he went back to work down the other end of the country during the week.  He worked in the forces and he had to do one of those test days... you know run this far in this amout of time blha blah blah.  I got a text that afternoon after he had his gas mask test... he'd had to go in the room full of gas and take the mask off and say IDK, name and number or what have you, eyes streaming, coughing, hard to breathe etc. and apparently "all I could think about was you".  I remember thinking, "Gosh, he really does miss me."

Last night he went to the shop to get bread and milk ad when he got home I put the shopping away.  My favourite chocolate was in the bottom of the bag. 

janetmichel3009

hmmm, i am not a romantic person, and neither is the BF. i find the whole roses and poems thing very cheesy. it seems pretty impersonal to me, cause it's right out of a movie... (not trying to down those of you who love it! if it makes YOU happy, then that's all that counts!!)

One of the reasons I started this thread was we are talking about it on other forums,  several things seem to hold true...

Few people ID themselves and their partner as truly Romantic. Many pooh pooh the concept of typical romance and they are ALWAYS the "We are not romantic sorts."...

JUST because something is "out of a Movie" will never make it cheesy or romantic... IT has to do with the "moment". The spirit with which two people connect, on a level meant only for them. Weather in a crowd or by themselves.  IT may be long stem roses or a buttercup held under your chin... Romance is a moment and a feeling both fragile and intense. Easily shattered by clumsy handling but never forgotten when allowed to fully bloom...

Chuffy who also proclaimed herself and her DH as not romantic types describes an absolutely spectacular moment in time when the moon offered a gift and they were the two who spotted and reveled in it.... I can close my eyes and see that water with the moonlight so many thousands of miles away....

My husband is an engineer through and through. He walks in the world with logic and common sense as his sun and moon.  I am a caregiver and artist,  I spot the small and often over looked, often finding joy or pain with in it.  He lives to solve problems and I live to find rainbows. In this we could not be more different. In 28 years we have learned to depend on each other's strengths. We find travel together to be amazing, constantly challenging each other to new and different levels.  Having a partner who can bring you frustration in one heartbeat and utter Peace in the next is not something to ever take for granted.

I think the nervous rush to, in one way, put down the concept of Romance,  is  out of the fear that somehow you are either missing out or in some way unworthy of it and that fear makes it easier to dismiss it than to read the experiences of others and just smile.  Romance, REAL romance is not an everyday event.  You may have to wait until you find your moment.  As long as you do not shut the door on the possibility of it by telling a partner you are not in to it or not in need of it, it will come to you.... in it's own time.  Shutting that door will only hurt you and your partner, because out of impatience you are cheating yourselves of something that will belong to no one else.... only the two of you.

Bob and I used to define Romance by physical adventures. Joining the Mile High, or a secluded spot in a Medieval Castle in France, a windblown beach, a mountain tram... silly opportunities that no other friend could lay claim to. But  would always bring a smile to us when the topic came up either because of conversation or a T shirt...

I have mentioned before that when Bob hit his mid life crisis he had an affair.  Because of my then doctor's thinking and the meds I was on I did not see it coming and was not able to prevent it from happening.  The discovery on the 13 of February that year was devastating. It took us several years to recover. But recover we did.  2 years ago my 50th  birthday was coming up and as we were still mending our lives and I had the remnants of a cold, I said a simple dinner together would be more than enough , I did not want the jewelry, trips or clothes.  That would have been an easy gift for him.  He only had to spend money and could ask a clerk at any of my favorite stores to pick our selections for me. I did not want the effort of a clerk paid to push a fad or expensive trinket. We went out for an amazing dinner , He then went out of his way to engage me in conversation and made an effort at being charming that he had ignored for sometime. My energy was flagging and I wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep.   Bob arranged for a room at our favorite hotel in Mobile, only an hour or so from the house. I have loved this hotel since our arrival in Alabama as you can watch the progress of the Mardis Gras parades from the 25th floor windows. She is a grand lady of a hotel making an industrial area take on an aura of adventure and mystery, from one glance you see the dirty gray shipyards, from another Fort Conde which has flown 5 flags ... Old homes that hold the secrets of lives lived and loves both lost and celebrated in this Southern city that spoke the languages of 5 countries and gave birth to Mardi Gras ...( it was not contrary to popular thinking  New Orleans, Joe Cain in Mobile began it years before NOLA figured it out, he wanted to bring laughter and fun back to the war torn area, NOLA saw the money making possibilities)....  We rode the elevator up to our room and I was quietly worried that I would not have the energy or heart to have an adventure like the ones we had shared so many other times...walking into the suite I was dumb stuck.... there were candles lit in each of the rooms and lining the drawn bath.  Rose petals were scattered from the door to the tub , floating in the warm water and on the floor into the bedroom, deep red floral hearts on the turned down sheets and comforter , there were 18 long stem roses in a beautiful crystal vase, a champagne bucket with iced Moet and a platter of strawberries with a bowl of fresh whipped cream.  Bob watched TV while I took a bath , allowing the water to both relax and take me back to adventures shared , times that could not be touched by his indescretion... the pain hidden seemed smaller and less important. Wrapping up in a thick robe I came out and we cuddled, laughed, drank champagne and enjoyed strawberries.  No pressure no guilt, just time together watching pay per views and laughing at the tv....  it was not the physical adventure I thought he had planned, it was so much more.  It had been years since I had fallen asleep in his arms.  and years since we had felt so connected.  The next morning when the real world intruded once more, after our brunch and  more champagne he helped me to gather every rose petal so I could make a potpourri later. We went home,  in love again. 

As an Engineer he fixed the problem, as my partner he mended our hearts.  By nearly losing me he found his center again, and then planned an evening allowing me to take control of events until I could feel whole again.  That was an insanely Romantic thing for an Engineer to do....

Bonita of Bwana

Do your selves a favor, keep the chance for Romance viable and open... don't rush it just wait...it will find you if you allow it to.

ron2

Something else I realized, too, that's kind of romantic. We cook together, sometimes. I was watching "Down Home with the Neelys" (a cooking show) and realized we are kind of like that, too. They were making beer can chicken and red beans and rice. I gues you had to be there.

Nope...I definately get it.  Its the completely comfortable as well as compatible kind of romantic.  Sounds great!

I officially love this thread.  As I read through all these posts, I realize how much we all have in common.  There is something in most posts here that remind me of me and my DH.  Such a wonderful thing to have someone to share life with...good bad and ugly. 

Bonita of Bwana

Having a partner who can bring you frustration in one heartbeat and utter Peace in the next is not something to ever take for granted.

Worth repeating.

Bonita of Bwana

I think the nervous rush to, in one way, put down the concept of Romance,  is  out of the fear that somehow you are either missing out or in some way unworthy of it and that fear makes it easier to dismiss it than to read the experiences of others and just smile.  Romance, REAL romance is not an everyday event.  You may have to wait until you find your moment.  As long as you do not shut the door on the possibility of it by telling a partner you are not in to it or not in need of it, it will come to you.... in it's own time.  Shutting that door will only hurt you and your partner, because out of impatience you are cheating yourselves of something that will belong to no one else.... only the two of you.

Bonita -- there is SUCH wisdom here -- that's what I wish many would see.  Because it's not about flowers  or moonlight or  poems -- it is ABOUT that connection.  "romance" could be an old shoe or dandelions if that was where the 'connection' was between that couple. 

Now, granted -- it's often about an 'effort' on one or the other's part.  But the thing that strikes me about what you posted, Bonita -- isn't the obvious "path of petals" -- Nooooooooooooooooooooooo -- the thing that is SOOOO amazing is that this man is an engineer.  The *effort* to step out of one's self and please the other -- that's where the romance is. 

 Oh, I thought of another one. When I'm cranky, he goes out and buys me chocolate or chocolate ice cream. If we are out and I get cross, he buys me an iced chocolate. He knows that ice cream and chocolate solve all woes.

When I give him a serious kiss he generally throws me down on the nearest handy surface and says "It's just you, Mel."

My ex was one of the most romantic people I've ever met, but I hated it. I never trusted him. When he'd say something nice about me several times a day it just made me uncomfortable. No one is that good. So my current partner is quite the opposite and hardly ever does anything romantic. I like that about him. 

Oh, oh, I've got the most classic one. We were driving home at night past the lake and stopped to look at this comet that had been around for a few days. It was very impressive, the tail taking up half the sky. We stood together and watched it and then for some reason these fireworks started up over the lake. It was pretty special. Then I ruined it by commenting "Mmm, onion" after he gave me a long kiss. We'd just had a bbq dinner.

One other romantic thing. DW and I had a renaissance wedding at Scarborough Faire in Waxahachie, Tx. which included a vist from Henry VIII and Anne Bolen.

corvus

My ex was one of the most romantic people I've ever met, but I hated it. I never trusted him. When he'd say something nice about me several times a day it just made me uncomfortable. No one is that good. So my current partner is quite the opposite and hardly ever does anything romantic. I like that about him. 

No -- that's NOT romance.  That's schmaltz ... or manipulation -- it's going thru the motions of what he THINKS a woman *should* want so he gets his way.  That's not romance at all. 

"hardly ever does anything romantic" -- which is why it IS 'romantic' and meaningful.  Romance isn't one-size fits all -- not if it's real. 

MARKETING is ***NOT*** romance.  Now sometimes it can dovetail.  A spouse/partner can take a commercial thing and make something awesome OUT of it.

David knows I like stuffed toys.  Occasionally he'll find something that makes him think of me (which THAT -- right there .. the "thinking of me" thing -- is the huge huge huge big important thing to ME) and he'll come dragging it along.

One time we were in Albertson's (huge grocery store) and they'd gotten in their Valentine "junk".  And here comes David schlepping down the frozen food aisle with this ENORMOUS white stuffed gorilla that had a music chip in it playing "Wild Thing" (our 'song' LOL). 

The romance was in him publicly proclaiming via this stuffed toy that he didn't care who SAW him -- he knew *I* would get a charge out of it.  Romance?  It was to me.  Fun-ner than ANYTHING tho!

calliecritturs

MARKETING is ***NOT*** romance.  Now sometimes it can dovetail.  A spouse/partner can take a commercial thing and make something awesome OUT of it.

Yeah, I think that's the tricky part. A lot of people have different feelings about what romance "is." It seems to many people, it's chocolates and flowers and candlelit dinners with lots of wine.

I don't think that's the "real" meaning of romance, but that's what the "Hallmark mafia" has made some people believe. 

Often when I describe sweet things BF has done for me (like buying me a new computer monitor and setting it up for me while I was in class, or leveling up a computer game character for me while I was busy so we could play together and I wouldn't be frustrated at being behind) people will kind of roll their eyes and say, "Oh, how.... romantic!" meaning clearly, "That's totally lame and un-romantic, though a nice enough thought, I suppose." That always bugs me. What intrinsic factor makes a rose more romantic than a toaster, anyway? If it's a thoughtful gesture that makes me feel loved and doted upon, isn't that what romance is supposed to be all about?

BF and I aren't a "candy and roses" type couple, but we do lots of things that feel romantic to me (even if no outside observers would agree), so I'm quite happy. And that's all that counts anyway, right? :) 

 Romance is your other half agreeing to house a giant, shedding, barking white dog because you love them so much, and beyond that, to research them and learn to love them and to tell everyone who'll listen that we'll be getting one. 

Seriously, DH loves Ben and I think he'd be happy to have just him for Ben's lifetime - we're getting a Maremma because I'm so besotted by them and he's gone above and beyond to understand my appreciation for them.  I'm not sure I've told him what that means to me but thanks to this thread I plan to.  

ETA:  I guess we're not the flowers and chocolates type either, but those things aren't especially meaningful to us and for it to be romantic it has to be something which really touches the heart.  When we celebrate Valentine's day we don't buy each other the typical Valentine's Day stuff...we sit down together and decide on a luxury we'd both like to have for the house - something we want but don't really need - and we buy that.  Us making our house our "home" is far more romantic to both of us than something the greeting card industry tells us should be romantic.

ETA again:  Guess how I'm spending V-day this year?  At a pastoral breeds dog show LOL.  And guess who's idea that was?  Not mine...

One of my most romantic times was during a rainstorm in Hawaii that knocked out the power.  Something very special about being with someone in the dark of a tropical rainstorm in a primitive setting.

Many of my exes used to write me poems and songs, which most people would find romantic... but I was just uncomfortable with it.  My most recent ex, though, bought a house full of new appliances and furniture to make me more comfortable after I moved there.  He's too practical, but he even had a dozen red roses waiting for me when I arrived from my cross-country trip to live with him.

Cita

Yeah, I think that's the tricky part. A lot of people have different feelings about what romance "is." It seems to many people, it's chocolates and flowers and candlelit dinners with lots of wine.

I don't think that's the "real" meaning of romance, but that's what the "Hallmark mafia" has made some people believe. 

Often when I describe sweet things BF has done for me (like buying me a new computer monitor and setting it up for me while I was in class, or leveling up a computer game character for me while I was busy so we could play together and I wouldn't be frustrated at being behind) people will kind of roll their eyes and say, "Oh, how.... romantic!" meaning clearly, "That's totally lame and un-romantic, though a nice enough thought, I suppose." That always bugs me. What intrinsic factor makes a rose more romantic than a toaster, anyway? If it's a thoughtful gesture that makes me feel loved and doted upon, isn't that what romance is supposed to be all about?

BF and I aren't a "candy and roses" type couple, but we do lots of things that feel romantic to me (even if no outside observers would agree), so I'm quite happy. And that's all that counts anyway, right? :) 

EXACTLY!

i'm the same way!

BF is selling his PS3 and adding a whole bunch of money on top to get me a really good computer. he researched ALL the parts and his having his gizmo-crazy friend put it together with me. he also bought me my huge computer screen. THAT i found romantic, but i just got eyerolls from my friend. she was all smitten after a guy wrote her a poem and played the guitar for her. if it was me, i'd RUN...

a guy i was dating once told me i had beautiful eyes... i just burst out laughing. it was so silly, cause my eyes are really THE least beautiful thing in my face. TRUST ME, i am not vain, and i DONT have issues with my looks. i consider myself a very beautiful girl, but my eyes are very average, and i though it was so lame that he just told me what he thought i wanted to hear instead of commenting on my butt or something... he coulda told me "damn, your lips are hot!" well it doesnt SOUND romantic, but at least THAT i could buy...

so yeah, me and the BF dont have a song. i never get flowers (i dont really like flowers anyways...) we dont go to romantic locations. for our anniversary this year we stayed home all afternoon. then for dinner he took me to this foodcourt in a mall, because it's my favorite food EVER (seriously, it's not regular "mall food";). we went for ice cream after (i didnt want any, but i figured no reason for HIM not to have any) and he took me to this shop selling make-up and other girly things and told me to chose something, cause he felt bad for not giving me anything for christmas, and so he bought me a nice shampoo... nothing crazy, but it was a really nice night. i got my favorite food (also one of HIS favorite, by the way) and a hair repair shampoo, which i really needed. walked around a dumb old mall and just had a good time. pretty much what we always do.... and to be honest i was SO happy he didnt bother with anything fancy...

janetmichel3009

and to be honest i was SO happy he didnt bother with anything fancy...

That sounds awesome. :)

My favorite Valentine's Day with BF was when we were still in college. One year a really bad snowstorm was forecast for Valentine's Day, so we decided to stay indoors. We went out the day before and picked up some of our favorite cheeses, cold cuts, and a loaf of good bread from the local grocery store, then for V-Day we sat down on the floor of our (public) common room and had a "picnic" on a spare blanket with a bottle of Martinelli's (I don't drink). It was great!!

Our friends who tried to set up "fancy" plans for the night ended up cold, frustrated, and (a few of them) stuck in snow banks. BF and I relaxed, stayed warm, and got a chance to enjoy each other's company in a quiet, simple setting. To me, that feeling of intimacy and not requiring lots of external "things" to have fun was very romantic. Fancy does not always equal romantic (though sometimes it can help)!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BONITA !!!!!! (*jumping up and down waving at her*) THEY'RE GETTING IT!!!!!!!!!!

Ok folks -- NOW you're getting it. 

The Hallmark Mafia -- you got it.  And you know -- some spouses/significant others/whatever ARE so darned shallow that they NEED that crap to get out of their own head long enough to even CONSIDER the other person is on the planet.  So it's not all "bad".

 BUT -- the whole point of is this appreciation -- it's for folks to really stop and think about that person they say they "love" -- and what MAKES it?  We all like to be appreciated -- even if it's with a roll of baling twine if that's what floats your boat (or ties your bale or whatever ...)

I'm an avid reader of trash romances -- but you know what?  There isn't 1 in 100 where the "hero" buys the girl flowers or candy (I can only think of ONE in all the hundreds I've read where anyone got candy!! even on Valentine's Day!). 

Nope -- why are they so popular?  Because in the end, the woman and man communicate.  They get on the same wavelength and he "gets" what she really needs and she "gets" what he needs and one of the common "themes" is they BOTH have to overcome some obstacle -- usually in their own heads or their own perception of something -- to really understand each other and appreciate that "contact".

Hallmark struggles to sell cards and 'stuff' mostly on holidays.  but you know what -- "romance" is a HOT book field and they sell more and more every year.  Why?  Because folks like to know that somewhere, some place someone "gets it". 

I mean think about it -- Cinderella probably spent the rest of her life "cleaning" the Princes' castle, Sleeping Beauty was narcoleptic, and Snow White had her own goon squad of 7 hit dwarves.  Do I have ANY confidence that they really found happiness? 

PROBABLY NOT -- (read "Into the Woods" sometime -- it's hysterical)

but the rest of us stuck in the real world have to really come to grips with what we NEED and what we want vs. what we're willing to give.  Therein lies directions AWAY from divorce court!!

well that's the thing though. i dont NEED the bf to stop and think what would make ME happy. he just does the things with me, that he likes doing. it just so happens we like doing the same things, we like the same food and we are both notoriously lazy. no need to do extraordinary things. we like ordinary... i think last valentines we didnt do ANYTHING. we ate the same food we always ate, and the watched DVDs until BF fell asleep (i can never fall asleep with the tv on. EVER...) we both enjoyed it. THAT IS what i appreciate about him. it's the reason i love him. we simply match well...

my friend thinks me and the bf are in a rutt. she asks me what's up with us, and i say nothing... all is the same... i dont mind it... i'm pretty sure she thinks we have relationship trouble...

she was together with this guy for the longest time. he was a really nice guy. but that was the problem! he'd buy her clothes and showered her with love. everyone thought she was stupid for breaking up with him. to be honest i couldnt believe she was togethe with him for that long! who has the energy.....

 I think the best thing DH does is bring me lunch and run lunch-time errands to lighten my load. Every day without fail he will IM me to see what I need. That thoughtfulness reminds me every day how lucky I am.

Yay for great spouses, partners, and b/g-friends!