I-Dog prayers needed urgently! *update pg6*

 I have hesitated to take pictures.  I have some of him with Will from way back before this took hold.  I am not sure whether to take more - we'll see.

The product we are hoping to try will work in 2 ways; by attacking the cancer (not healthy cells) and supporting his liver and kidneys.

My sister is going to have a discussion with a herbalist tomorrow.  I will keep you all posted.

THANK YOU AGAIN - that simply can't be said enough.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad.  It's awful to see someone you love suffer, and it's so hard to remain upbeat for them when doctors give news like that.  Cancer is such a horrible disease.  Sending as many good vibes as possible from across the country and then across the pond - your Dad is in the thoughts of folks thousands of miles away! 

wow, i'm so sorry. I hope the alternative treatment can help, and i hope that he will be very comfortable and free from pain while he's still here. 

Chuffy, I am so incredibly sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 I have my idog candle lit for your Dad and the family he loves...and prayers are still being sent.  The road is not easy, but the strength and love of family and friends will see you through. 

 I have good vibes enough for your dad AND your entire family. I'm a well of good vibes and prayers. One of those apparently bottomless ones. I will be fiercely sending it all your way.

I'm still thinking about you and your father and praying. I think your attitude and your sister's say a lot about how you are and what your father has taught you, is good to keep fighting!

((HUG))

Chuffy - I have been thinking about you all day.  I am sorry they didn't have better news.

Chuffy

 I have hesitated to take pictures.  I have some of him with Will from way back before this took hold.  I am not sure whether to take more - we'll see.

I hope this doesn't sound awful, but I wouldn't take many.  When I was 10 my grandpa died of brain cancer.  I was told that in his final weeks (he was only given 6 months) his head, lips, and face were covered with sores.  During his illness we (the grandchildren) only saw him a few times, the last time was a couple of weeks before he died.  At that time he requested that the kids not come back because he didn't want us to remember him that way.  I do have faint memories of his lips since I was told not to kiss him on his lips, but other than that I don't remember him being sick.  I just remember him from before.  All the pictures I have of him is from "before".  The cancer was very hard on him and took away all of his dignity (could no longer function in basic ways since they had to remove part of his brain).  The sad thing is, if he would have gotten this type of cancer now in this day and age, he would have lived.

Basically, to make a long story short, don't hesitate to take Will to see him since Will won't remember at this point but will hopefully lift your dad's spirits and give him hope, but I wouldn't take any pictures.  That way when Will looks back all he will see is heathly grandpa.

 This is my thinking too!  I don't know if it is an insult to him and his bravery and whether it is selfish of me to want to remember him how he was before.... 

Here is an impromptu shot of my Dad at my wedding... LONG before cancer reared its head.  This is a snap shot of his character, the sort of relaxed and upbeat person he is

I haven't seen him today. Two of my sisters went over for the afternoon and he is weak right now, so I have decided to stay home and wait for an update from them.  There will also be a "showdown" about this new product, which my sisters will discuss with hima nd my stepmum and I am not the most diplomatic of people... the last thing I want is to start a row!

I will post again when I have news...

I think I would like to think of your dad as this man above, celebrating your marriage, looking dapper, and enjoying a breathtakingly beautiful day.

Sending you a giant warm hug!!  May all the love you have for your dad, and all the love he has for you, surround you in these days ahead, like the warm hug from all of us.  Peace and comfort and strength to you all.

Well said Miranadobe!  Very well said and my sentiments precisely!

Chuffy, I think the pic you have there is the best way to remember him.  I don't think I'd want that many (any?) pics of him very ill.  Pictures are to be reminders, I think.  You don't need a reminder of his illness, you want reminders of his life.  Just my 2 cents.

And I think that pic is awesome by the way!  The fact that you said it really captured his personality and character, IMO, make it perfect!

 A quick update...

My sisters took the product round to dads and discussed it with him.  Dad seemed up for trying it, especially as the herbalist had already given it the nod and said it would definitely be worth taking.  He was a little weak and tired, but they had him giggling a few times and they saw his old self in there

There was a snake in the woodpile tho.... my step mum.  My god but that woman is gloomy!  Just an example or two... She pooh-poohed the treatment before even looking at it properly, kept finding excuses for him  not to take it.... she has been SUCKING UP all the attention she has been getting, she started talking to my brother about FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS! and told him "we're just playing a waiting game now aren't we..."

WAIT A MINUTE!!! None of the rest of us have given up, dad included!  Oh no wait a minute, I'll just put the kettle on while we wait for him to peg it shall I???? JESUS!!!!  ARGH!!!!  What is WRONG with this woman?  It's almost like she's eager for him to die!??!!!!  It makes me sick and angry... 

Sorry, had to vent.... Seriously, if anyone has any advice on how to approach this woman - without ticking her off too much (that would upset dad and she might even try to stop us seeing him) I would appreicate it.  Other than that, keep sending any good vibes you got spare in his direction.

I'm guessing it's been hard to be the caretaker and so her threshold is just that much smaller.  It's a tough time for all of you.  Just think caring thoughts for her, because even if she seems selfish, she's hurting too.  Right now, there's just so much immediacy for decisions and it's hard for anyone to cope.  Maybe with a different perspective she could be supportive of it.... but that may take time or may never come.

Remember not to divide - try to stick together.  Your father will decide what is best for him, and if he wants to try the option suggested, then the whole family needs to support him.  This is his life - only he can live it.

 Honestly, until the last couple of days I agreed with you.  We have ALL tried to support her AND dad, but obviously, dad comes first.

The bottom line is this: Dad WANTS to try it, and she is standing in his way and trying to dissuade him, for no real reason. 

She has made it clear time and again, but particularly these last few days, that she doesn't think dad will beat this, she has given up now and is preparing for him to die.  That is a hard pill for me to swallow as she is his primary carer right now.

miranadobe

Maybe with a different perspective she could be supportive of it.... but that may take time or may never come.

We don't HAVE that time, if the doctors are correct.  Dad's words were "well she will have to get her @r$e into gear".  But right now, he is scraping the bottom of the barrel marked "strength" - I don't know if he has enough to stand up to her and I honestly think she will only abide by his wishes as far as it suits her.

I am honestly quite scared at the moment.  Really.  I think she is going to tip that stuff down the sink and top the bottle up with water and I don't know what to do or what to say.

This could, at the very least, take some of the strain of his liver.  If he dies, he won't die from cancer, he will die from liver failure and it will be NASTY.  We all want to prevent that!  YeExcept her.  She is the only one who doesn't seem to want to try.  EVERY suggestion we have made, from the start, has been met with resistance by her.  EVERY. Single. One. 

The truth is, this stuff ***might*** save his life.  WHY won't she support that?  She will deny him this chance.... the thought frightens me.