Helping the kids Understand what is going to happen....

Bonita, I'm so sorry you're having to face this, but I know as sure as I'm sitting here typing that you will absolutely do what's best for the kids, for Jasmine and for yourself. ((((((HUGS))))))

Joyce

 Bonita, I really hope that one day I can give the same practical emotional and spiritual guidance to my own young family.  I am wishing you strength, peace and comfort in your last days with Jasmine.

 This poem has really done the rounds, but I just wanted to put this here.  It always gives me shivers.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

Okay guys it's Bobby's turn.... he is 6 years old and will be in first grade this year... his hair is ridgeback Red and like the rest he has never known a time without Jasmine....

"When they Cross the Bridge they go up to God, then they can have fun again when ever they want. And they can chase cats and mouses, and chase anything that's up there. And That's all of that one.... When they are going into the Firecracker box ( crematorium) we get to put the dogs in the firecracker and we light it up really hot so turn into magic sand.  and that's the end of that one. We put the magic sand in a bag and if we have two magic sands we can mix them up and make a puppy and the sand goes to Mexico where they mix them up and make the puppy.   

I will feel very sad when Jasmina dies.  Because I love her sooo much.   Maybe there will be another dog like Jasmine some some day.  The little girls will be very sad too. I will make them feel better by telling them about the rainbow bridge. If they can find a puppy like her we maybe will name it like Jasmine.  G'ma and G'pa will be very sad when Jasmine dies . I want to be there when Jasmine crosses the bridge.  Because I can give her love and she will be very fine. I will be a little scared when she dies and I will even cry.  When Jasmine crosses the bridge she will see all of our dogs that have died. I guess that's all .  She will be a little sad but she will watch over us. She will be very angry when Ali Boo Boo goes into the Street on her tricycle  There will a special star that we will not see until she goes across the bridge, You look for the brightest star, That is God ,    and the little stars nearest him is the dog stars and that's everything about that."

Bobby

Caitlyn is 5 years old an in Kindergarten this year.

" When Mimi crosses the   bridge and she dies I will feel a really bit sad cause I will miss her so much cause she is such a good girl.  She has to cross the bridge cause she is old and sick and when she crosses the bridge she will feel much better again. She will not be hurted or sad. And Mimi find Bo Bo  and she misses him so much, they were married a really long time. I am worried about how they will find the bridge.  They walk till they see it I think.  The rainbow  for the bridge is really magic,  is made from all of the tears we cry when we are sad cause they dieded.    

Dr David will give her a special shot that will make her die. She will not hurt from it. We will turn her into magic sand, like Bo Bo.  She will always watch over me and love me. Cause  her magic sand and Bo Bo's magic Sand will be mixed up and we will send them to Africa where the Lions   and Elephants   live The magic sand will be lucky for the lions cause they need to be protected to like the elephants and zebras.    Jasmine is Old, she is about 16 years old. That is old for a dog or a humans.  I want to take some pictures of her to put on my wall.  I don't know if I will be with her or with Tristan when she dies.  I want to be with her, but Tristan is very very sad and I think maybe he will need me too.

I have  been very lucky to have Jasmine , I have always been loving on her and her on me. "

Ceattle is 4 years old, one three four..... And here are her thoughts

" Her gonna walk on the bridge   and her gonna die , her gonna come back to her boyfriend Bo.  She is gonna die cause she is goona to be too old she is about 7 years old.  She has cancer , I don't know where you get cancer from but I think it is from smoking.

I love her very much and I already miss her. I like her a lot becuase she is my best sister,  a dog can be your sister you know, because she has always been there to take care of me.  Jasmine likes to  eat dog food, tuna casserole with potato chips and hot dogs.  When she crosses over the bridge she will eat a lot of macaroni.  When Jasmine goes across the bridge she will find the puppies without a mommy and she will take care of all of them.  She will keep her toenails painted pink, My greatgrandmudder will paint her nails.  The big boo boo on her butt will go away when she crosses the bridge.  I want to get her pink flowers,         and purple flowers and all of the girl colors. She will be happy. She will be watchin me all the time so I gonna be good. She will also have sparkly flowers and white.  She will miss us and her friends. She will really miss G'ma the mostest. I will take care of my big brudder cause he will cry a lot when Jasmine crosses the bridge  . I heard about the rainbow bridge the first time when I was one years olds and I was at a Rainbow Party place.  It's beautiful there they have a sparkly clean house and they gota keep their room clean and not make messes in their rooms.  It has a big fridge for them to get into. With candy food , and ABC maganets on the fridge to practice their names..  I will miss her like  this much and I will be happy that they will be magic sand in Africa and with G'ma when G'ma gets old too. "

Alexandra is 2 going on 3 she and Jasmine have their own language..... she was happy having this as her contibution...

Bonita:

You are very lucky to have such caring and understanding grandchildren. I am glad that they realize that no dog, no matter how good they are, can live forever. I am sure that Jasmine is proud of each of them and will continue to watch over them for years to come.

Some dogs at the Rainbow Bridge like to get letters (or flowers) that are tied to balloons and allowed to float up to them.  But that can wait. Right now, I suspect Jasmine wants to be touched and told how beautiful she is.

See you next week. 

Agnes

Thanks Agnes and I am so Thrilled you found dog.com !!  It is an Awesome sight.   we can not do Balloon releases down here  it interferes with the Sea turtles and other marine life.... BUT we do candles and we do other equally loving ways of remembering ...  I love it that you , like me , know it is important for all of the family members to have chance to feel and think out what they need to... !!

can not wait to see you next week, PM me with your flights info please so I can make sure I have directions and a runner to pick you up!! 

Tonya is coming in on Thursday and Astra is beyond excitted!!   We are about ready to Rodeo !!

Hugs

Bonita of Bwana

jasmine is very lucky to have had a life with a family like yours!

i agree with you, that hiding loss from children, does more harm than good! children understand more than we give them credit for! but they also often deal with pain more easily, so i think it is important, that they learn to find a way to grieve!

i'm very sorry to hear about jasmine! i have yet to lose a dog. moca and jason are my first dogs, and everytime i read about another dog crossing the bridge i look at mine and it scares me! i will surely not deal with it as well as you, bonita!

your grandkids are awefully sweet! in ways they are wiser than many adults!

i know, you and your family will have each other to share your grief! give the kids some hugs from me! and jasmine a kiss between the eyes!

{HUGS}

I have survived the passing of family, first wife, and friends. I survived the passing of my cat, Misty, which did requre my decision to have her euth'd because of drastic kidney failure when she was 17 (approx. 110 to 119 years old in human years, depending on which formula you use).

And I don't have any sage advice. You are doing well. Most adults who think they have hidden something from the children are only comforting themselves. It's better that they grieve openly and realize that people are here to help them. That knowledge and ability will come in handy all through life. This is where they learn how to deal with life's challenges in a good way. And having a grandma like you is a blessing they will appreciate. One thing I have learned in burying so many people is that life goes on, for us and the deceased. And yeah, I'm a scientific guy with math and logic and a solid appreciation for the newtonian viewpoint. And the Rainbow Bridge exists. It is as real as a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis.

It is sad that Jasmine will have to go. And how look how blessed she is and the blessing she bestowed on your family and others. Look at the good will she imparted for her breed and species. A worthy life, indeed. And on any warm summer day, you will still be able to hear her pant. And when you see other small children you will remember the great kiddy bed that Jasmine has been (such as in the pic).

Give her and the grandkids hugs for us.

This song comes to mind as a comfort, to me. It was written by the singer, Geoffrey Tate, after the birth of his son as a way to lead him through life. I hope you don't mind a bit of opera.

"Silent Lucidity" by Queensryche.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=y3QSkux3vcQ

Again, hugs from all of us and fear not, nothing is lost, ony changed, like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.

In almost every case when children are given platitudes, or a parent tries to gloss over their pain, they suffer.  You have given your children an incredible gift.  Not only have you provided them with honest answers to their questions, you have allowed them to learn to appreciate the soul of a dog.  I know that someday they will greatly appreciate that they have the kind of parent who values such things, and who is saddened, appropriately so, when this wonderful family member must return to her Creator.  Also, I hope that they know that there are many people who understand, and who share this sadness with you and them, knowing full well the value of the dogs they, too, have lost. 

There is no death, only a change of worlds... 

I believe the same...its a transition, not the end.

Well Jasmine had a brilliant time at the Rodeo. She wandered to her heart's content and played when a spurt of energy hit her.  She spent a good bit of time "talking " with the Raptors, Dreamer most of all, as if she needed to tell her "things"  . The Necrosis in the tumor on her side has advanced in an alarming manner. I am beyond frightened I have moved to crisis mode.  I made sure sevearl times each day we took a nap or cuddle together and that she wandered with me when ever her energy allowed. She is still in no pain and her appetite is good.  But the tissue over the rapidly growing tumor on her side is becoming thin and worn. 

I have her wearing our favorite T shirt to prevent her from washing it.  She has "that look" in her eyes and still awakens from sleep with the air of someone who is hearing a beloved from far way. I know it is Bo calling to her.  He adored her above and beyond anything regular folk would understand.  She lifts her head and gazes off in the distance, cocking her face from side to side and then lays her sweet self back down with a look of contentment . Jasmine thought the sun rose and set because of Bo.  They never had another mate, only each other.  And they were married, cake, veil , flowers  the whole shebang,  They wore their "rings" gorgeous copper and turqoise color beads in a collar that matched their coats.

I find my self struggling to breathe.  I try so hard but between being dizzy and short of breath I have to concentrate on not crying.  I am in no way diminshing anyone else's love for a beloved furchild . Mine is not more important than yours our Love is not deeper. I only know when she goes it will take a monumental effort to not follow her. for the next fews days we will hopefully keep her comfortable and happy and then The Huntmaster that we can not control will call Tallyho and off she will run to join her mate, the two pups who passed too early and my mom.

Bonita of Bwana

Bonita, I know how hard this must be for you...   After my sweet Winnie passed, a person on another board said some words that I think I will not forget.  She was a Vet tech, and said that Winnie had been clinging to life for the past months for ME...  I think it helped me to know she could rest, and not worry about me any more.  Sending hugs to you and your family from us.
 

I am so blessed to have met you and Jamine at the Rodeo. The bond that the two of you share and the love that you feel for each other is clearly deep. She got to go on a final roadtrip and now has returned to comfort your grandkids. And they are looking to you for guidance on how to handle what is to come.

It may not be a comfort to you right now (probably nothing right now can comfort the pain you feel right now ) but you have done an incredible job of raising Jasmine, her children, and her grandchildren. Your grandchildren have learned so much from you and them.

I remember what you told me after Mouse passed away--The pain you feel right now is because of how deeply you love her. Please remember to take care of yourself in the coming weeks. You are at least as deeply loved as Jasmine is.

Agnes and Gracie (17 yo RR)