Giving up dogs.

Sera_J

My personal opinion is when you chose to take a dog as a pet you're making a commitment to a dog for life

Sera_J

Has it never occurred to you to give up your dog, even in trying times, why?

Sera_J

Loss of sleep and my patience... an increase in exercise and time that I'd prefer to spend doing something else gets spent on my dogs. But, I do it. Rain or shine, hot or cold... level 2 health advisory

That's me - Bugsy must have exercise, ain't no way around it. He's better now that he is approaching 3 but miss out his morning exercise and in the late afternoon you will be ready to skin him   He has meant a whole lot less travel for us and in general a lot less carefree existence.  Early on I could get a bit down about that, doesn't bother me now.

Sera_J

If you get in over your head... it's your fault and it's a challenge to you to make it work.

I had to learn umpteen training methods that I had never heard of and read tons of books and spend as much time as I could devote to 'figuring' him out.  Oh and of course I am still working on a diet that works for allergy mutt. I love a challenge and God sent me one with Mr B.

Someone on here said when I was pulling my hair out that the dogs that ask the most of you become the ones you have the tightest bond with and I think about that often.

I have had no fewer than 4 people tell me that others would have given up on Bugsy and sent him back to the shelter, I can only shake my head.  An extreme response no doubt, but would those same people want to give their kid back because is wasn't as simple as they hoped?

Ah, this is something I think about a lot since I'm involved in rescue.  I just pulled a dog from a home where it was obvious that they just didn't want her anymore.  Their excuse for giving her up?  She peed, gasp, 3 times on the carpet.  Oh the horror of it all!  She's healthy & a sweetheart with no major issues that I could see in the 5 days she was with me.  At least nothing that can't be handled with training.  They "couldn't be bothered" with training.  She WANTS to learn & please.  Why can't they just be honest & say, "we just don't want her anymore?"

Sorry, just a ramble but when I first got Grady the thought of returning him crossed my mind several times.  None of my dogs before him required the amount of work that we've had to do with him.  I thought I was in over my head with him.  Every time he pulled me over trying to get a critter he saw on our walks, knocked me over or was just unruly, I thought of sending him back  Then I kept thinking, no, we can work this out.  I made a commitment to him & I take that commitment VERY seriously.  I will do everything in my power to keep my kids happy, fed, sheltered & loved.  I don't know what the future holds.  As of now, the only thing that will make me give up my pets is serious illness or a serious financial crisis.

I like to say I'd never give up my dogs, but I've never been in the position of losing my car and my home.  I don't think life on the street is in any way fair for my dogs.  I made a lifetime commitment to my dogs but that is for their wellbeing, not my own peace of mind.  For Kenya, she would be MUCH better off going to live with her breeder, whom she loves dearly, than she would sleeping with me out on the street in some doorstep.  I would not keep her with me just for my own sake.  Coke is the type of dog that loves all people as long as they treat him right.  If I had to live on the street or in a homeless shelter, he'd have no problem fitting in with my parent's.  Part of my commitment to my dogs was making provisions for them should something terrible happen to us.  The dogs are entirely my responsibility, but sometime people lose their homes because of circumstances beyond their control.  I can't see how that would ever happen to me, but if it did, the best thing for my dogs would definitely NOT be living on the street.

Our pets are commitments for life.  We waited until we felt "ready" for them, owned our home, waited for the children not to be babies, until we new we lived in a good enough neighborhood to walk them.  They are part of the family and will remain that way.

However, I don't have judgement for others and what they chose (well most of the time, there are times I think people are lazy and can't be bothered to put in the effort).  I used to dog sit for a dog who was VERY difficult.  His owners couldn't leave him alone or he'd chew through drywall and wiring, he was even strong enough to break out of a crate so that wasn't an option.  They could only afford part time doggie daycare.  They worked full time and couldn't provide his needs, he needed a lot of excersize and mental stimulation to stay out of trouble.  They rehomed him, I've met the new owners and it's a perfect fit.  They have 8 kids, a big house in the country, and another boxer for him to play with.  He is surrounded by people and his doggie sister and his new home is definitely a better fit.  So, in that case, while I may not have made the same choice, I think they did the right thing.    I try not to be too quick to judge.

 I'm going to reply without reading the entire thread simply because I want to put my own thoughts down without being influenced first.  After that I promise to go back and read. 

I have considered giving up dogs.  I have done it actually.  I gave up my Durc because of Kale's allergies.  I was young and stupid and did not do the research I should have.  I gave him up on the Doctors advice and I regret it every day.  He was a wonderful dog and besides his slobber, he was great with Kale and any other kid he ever met.  I gave him to my then boyfriend though so it was only a partial separation at the time.  Later when Marty and I broke up, I kept in touch so I could get updates on Durc.  Durc died last summer.  I cried like a baby.

I let Keira go too.  Her situation was different.  I got two puppies from the same litter without thinking.  Her and Onyx.   Truthfully, I should not even have gotten one at that point.  Crusher was still young, under a year anyway, and we were busy.  I got them for the wrong reasons.  Now if that had been the only issue, I would have sucked it up and made it work, but Crusher had other ideas.  He was merciless with Keira.  He liked Onyx and the two of them would play like crazy, but if Keira showed her face, he attacked.  The girls had social issues to begin with, Onyx still does, and I had no idea how to deal with it.  I tried, but Keira was going downhill so fast it scared me.  She became timid even when she was alone with me.  Maybe because of how Crusher treated her, but looking back I wonder if it was her issues that made him treat her like that.  Maybe a little of both.  Either way, the only thing I could do for her was to get her out of the situation.  A girl that Tyler worked with took her and she became best friends with an orange tabby cat that didn't think she was a wimp.  I haven't heard anything about her for a while, but I hope she is doing well. 

Since then, I have really looked closely at my commitment to my animals.  I love them like my own children, but not quite as much.  In January Crusher stood trial.  When he bit Kali, he was almost out the door.  It was his first offence and it will be his last.  But the more I thought about it, the more I believed that I could prevent anything like that from ever happening again.  Understanding and evaluating his motives made a big difference to me as well, and though nobody in my family understands why I let him stay, they all seem to accept that he's not going anywhere.  He will stay with me until the day he or I die.   But he will be MY dog and nobody elses.  Onyx is our family dog.  Crusher belongs to me and he is my responsibility and mine alone.  If something were to happen to me, my musher friend would take Crusher.  He would not stay with Tyler and the kids.  I won't take that chance.

So, through thick or thin, now, my dogs are stuck with me.  Almost housebound right now, they are just gonna have to stick it out with me in my oafishness until things are a little more or less chaotic.  

calliecritturs

ME?  I'm so "for life" it's scarey -- I'd eat rice & beans to ensure the dogs have vet care.  I live in an old house and in the 24 years I've lived here I have NEVER bought drapes -- I can't afford them.  They aren't *important* to me -- the dogs are.  Shoot, we're spending a bundle next week to go get this sick little demodex dog FROM TEXAS (like yeah, they have demodex dogs in Florida -- but *this* one needs us) BUT this is how *we* want to spend our money!  Our choice. 

I second this motion.  In our home we have a paramount rule... The pets come first.  When our family was going through a divorce, it was painful, emotionally draining and financially devastating; but throughout the whole ordeal, our pets were there for us, giving us that lift that we desperately needed at the time.  When food was scarce, the dogs food was always put first and foremost, with us finding something to eat after.  When the dogs needed medical attention, we worked out a payment plan with out vet clinic, ensuring that the dogs wouldn't suffer.  We love our animals, and they are family.

Although our dogs are no longer with us, we still feel this way about our cat (my guardian).  If he needs any medical attention, we know that we'll do whatever it takes to get him that care.  When you take on a pet, it's for life.  Just like a marriage (what it's suppose to be), in sickness and in health, rich and poor.  Our pets weather it all with us.

I do though feel that there are some situations in which one can't predict for (ie. life altering illness), and in those instances, one might consider surrendering an option (not me personally).  This is where a good breeder steps in, often having clauses in their contracts, which require their own dogs to be returned back to them; thus ensuring a proper new placement, ditto for some shelters.

Lani-I almost gave Willow up twice.  She was so aggressive when she first came here. If she was on the floor sleeping and I tried to move off the couch to get a drink or something she would look up and growl at me.  She came at me a few times snarling and lunging.   I was afraid of her. I used to go in the bedroom and shut the door just to get away from her-to feel safe in my own home.  I was crying all the time and nervous.  I had never had a dog before much less one like her with her issues and it was very hard.

But, both times I just could not let her go to the rescue.  I just couldn't not know what happened to her. 

It took tons of time, research, money, hours on this forum to get where we are now.  And, that is why I have such a hard time understanding when people say they have to give up their dog.  If I can make it work with no experience whatsoever, not much money at all, living in an apartment without a fenced yard, etc, then anyone can.  I can't imagine being in a situation worse than the one I was in short of the dog actually attacking the owner.  And, financially we really had a tough time of it--her vet bills the first year were so high we used our down payment for our house to pay them off.  We have since bought a house but we could of been in a house 4 years ago.  We've skipped vacations, etc. 

Anyway, that's Willow's story. 

Edited to add--Bugsy's mom-The person who told you that is right, about the bond.  This dog that I was afraid of before comes everywhere with me now.  I can do anything to her and she is very tolerant.  She's a great, great friend to me. 

We had this problem in our home almost 7 years ago.  My daughter , like myself is bi polar,  she was still a newly wed and they had gotten prenant very quickly, lost the first one then bingo bango preggers again. Because they are both mental midgits at times they managed to mess up thier finances and needed to move home to our house to protect the baby.  She called and asked if they could come , well of course you can! She said can we bring the dog ? Well duh he was a wedding gift to you from us of course the RR comes with you.  They showed up with the RR, A pitbull, 6 cats , 2  retarded cockatiels and a 3 foot rosie boa   ............ oh yeah don;t forget the feeder mice.....

We really had to draw a line somewhere,  I had 5 RRs back then so this and additional people with zero jobs was simply tooooooo much.  Bob heard Raven the Pit growl at the girls and that was that. They had 2 weeks to rehome her.  There were some hard feelings and no way did either Bob or I like having to do this.  Eventually I got them to get rid of the snake and the feeder mice,  the birds finally died,  thery were down to only 2 cats until the Imamculate Coniptions arrived last month.  The RR is here still loving life.

The adults are still immature and find life beyond difficult.  There are  9 of us living here, 4 adults 5 grandkids yes 3 are theirs but I threaten to geld my SIL if it happened again ! We have 9 dogs, (2 visiting),  5cats , Del Rio the turtle and A fish.  No one ever wants to rehome a dog. But sometimes you have to make that call because someone else is not responsible enough to manage the life of the dog let alone their own.  Believe me if it was not for the 3 kids I would rehome the adults in a heart beat!!  I have covered more vet bills than I will ever let the Hubs know, and of course we care for 2  of the grandkids both physically and finacially and help out with the other 3     24/7.... life is an adventure and this is just one of the bumpy parts ..

Bonita of Bwana

I am willing to do all kinds of bending to accomodate a pet but if keeping that pet means sacrificing the health or safety of my child or a pet that was here first, then I would rehome.

Tena

I have never given up a dog, but my youngest sister has given up 7 (none to shelters or rescues).  That sounds like an irresponsible owner, but she is not.  In fact, she is very devoted to her animals.

Twice life circumstances caused her to move back in with our folks for a while.  The first time her puppy bonded with my youngest brother and my sister allowed him to keep the pup when she moved out.  The second time her young dog stayed in the yard next door since my folks didn't have a fenced yard.  The two kids next door (plus their parents) and the dog fell in love with each other and my sister allowed them to keep the dog when she moved out. 

Boy, that second dog was one spoiled dog!  To make a long story short, a gun shot spooked him on a large ranch and the owners used a helicopter to find him.

The other five dogs were lost in a three divorces - 1, 1, 3.  The last 3 belonged to the ex when the marriage occurred.

My sister could have kept those first two dogs, but she accepted that circumstances had resulted in the dogs bonding strongly to others.  Neither dog was discarded - simply not separated from those the dog had given his heart to.  My sister accepted the loss rather than force the dog and other people to do so.

The last marriage left my sister with one dog.  Since then she has adopted 4 rescues and lost two of the five dogs to cancer.  (I think she has just given up on men.)  Her 3 current dogs are very happy and well cared for.  The miniature poodle will be bit happier when his second luxating patella is fixed.  That is waiting on the first one to completely heal.

I am all for a dog staying in the best possible home for life. That may not always be mine. I don't delude myself that my guys would pine away without me- I've had Kaylee 8 weeks and she's adapted fully- and she'd adapt just as quickly to another home too. :P I am NOT saying that people should give up dogs because their lives change - but I *am* disagreeing that it is always wrong to give up a dog that doesn't fit into one's lifestyle.

I got Kaylee from a gal who shows and breeds collies who had raised her from a puppy, decided she was not show-quality, and offered her to me as a performance prospect. I know a lot of people who have gotten dogs this way. When the 'ideal breeder' is held up as one who has a very tiny number of dogs- under say, 10?- it's almost inevitable that people will place prospects that didn't turn out, or middle-aged dogs who have contributed to a breeding program and are ready to retire to the sofa. They shouldn't be vilified for this. People should be committed to keeping that dog in the best home for him or her for life- not fitting a square peg into a round hole.
 

I commit to my dogs for life. They become members of my family and I promise them the best I can give them. I too have things needed in my house but do to vet bills, and dog fun stuff, I have put them off "for now".

That being said I can not speak from the situation of not being able to care for the dog as it should be. If we were to lose jobs, our home, and not be able to care for them then I would want to find a better situation for them. Nice thing about rescues being available. When I have a friend who approaches me, saying they like my dogs so much they want one. I always drill them (and I mean "drill";) about what they expect from the dog. What are they willing to give up for the dog? To what lengths will they go. It may never come to that but people have to be aware.

Not too many years ago, I read a story about a dog having a genetic disease and the owners tracked down a sibling, and that dogs owner was willing to help. The first dog needed a transfusion or something, they paid the second dogs owner (for their inconvenience) flew the dog to the vet clinic, not to mention their own pets expenses. It came to somewhere around $40,000.00. I remember thinking to myself, I would never do that. Here I am 3 years later, having spent over $10K in vet bills. So I can honestly say, I don't honestly believe my own words anymore. Recently I did feel like a heel because I could not pay for some care. It broke my heart. Fortunately another option raised it's head and we are exploring that (much less expensive avenue first).

I see my dogs as my children. People with human children will spend anything and everything to give that child best health care and chance in life. I do that for my dogs.

I guess you could say I gave up Blaze for awhile.  I was 15 when my dad let me get her.  I think he regretted that instantly.  Housebreaking was horrible.  When we wanted to move he was not comitted to finding pet friendly housing.  And cost was a huge factor b/c he was a single parent.  Blaze ended up going out to my grandfather's farm.  She lived there for 3 years until I lived some place that I was allowed to bring her.  It wasn't my choice to let her go but it happened.  And it did put the idea in my head that its acceptable to do that (I feel differently now). 

I've still thought about it though.  DH and I are going through a really rough time right now and we're considering a divorce.  Out of the 8 pets it's already agreed that 2 of the dogs would stay with him and 3 dogs would come with me.  Then he has 1 cat that has been in his family almost all his life.  Of course that cat would stay with him.  That leaves the other 2 cats.  One of those cats was gotten as 'my' cat.  But the he and this other cat are best buds, I can't separate them.  So if we can't work this out I'll walk away with Blaze, Mystic and Co-Co.  He'll keep the rest (he's also said that if it came down to it he'd keep everyone).  There aren't many places around here that will rent to someone with 3 dogs over 50lbs at a cost I can afford.  As of right now if we split I can stay in the building we're in now and he would probably go to his dads (they'd let him have the animals).  The building we live in is owned by his family so I'm not comfortable staying there long term w/o him.  It crossed my mind that it would be easier to move if I didn't have all the dogs.  Well that thought didn't last long.  I could never pick who not to have.  I love them and don't want to be separated from them.  Plus I'm not sure that Blaze and Mystic wouldn't be put down if they were taken to the shelter.  Blaze would not pass the test where they put the fake hand in her food bowl.  Mystic has hip dysplasia and I've noticed lately is not friendly to dogs outside of her pack.  For me there are too many other options to pursue to be able to get rid of a dog.  But I won't lie and say I haven't thought about it.  But thinking and acting are two different things.  Now if I was truly homeless?  Well then it would probably be better for them to try to find another home for them (hopefully only temporarily).

just read this thread, and forgot who said this, but i agree with the person who said, that it's a lifetime commitment TO DO WHATS BEST FOR THE DOG!

i am actually considering giving moca to my sister, once she get's back to beijing (next winter, so there's still time). it isnt because moca has any issues or anything. on the contrary. it is jason who has some issues and i am thinking he MIGHT benefit from getting my undevided attention! the thing about this is, they both know my sister. in fact, i think, she is the only person, that doesnt live here that they consider a "pack member".

BUT since moca has some small health issues (ear infections, and yeast infection between her toes) that need constant care, i WILL check on this sitation, should i decide to go through with it. if i see my sister cannot provide at least the same quality of care that i do, then she will be right back with me!

i just think dogs are SO adaptable (some more than others of course). when we bond with them, we sometimes dont see, that giving up our dog might truly be the kindest thing to do FOR THE DOG!

yes, majority of people simply think of pets as disposable. of course i disagree with that. but that isnt ALWAYS the case. sometimes a situation doesnt work out, and if there's a better alternative for the dog, then i would never be so selfish or so arrogant to keep my dog just because...

just my view on things...

also, a coworker of mine left her dog in the states with her family to live here for a while. nothing wrong with that. i saw thanksgiving pictures of her dog! he is truly loved, at her mothers house, as well as at her sister's house. the dog is in good hands, so nothing wrong with that. although i gotta admit, i couldnt stomac leaving my dogs behind. but that's my selfish part again... :)