Now is the time to say goodbye

Thank you, it does indeed help to know we are not alone. I wish you the best. I hope I can be as strong as you for my dog.

Of course you will be.  You are doing the most loving and unselfish thing you possibly could.  Not only thta, but I hope I have your patience, wisdom and tact when my little boy first has to experience the death of a loved one.  We are all here for you. 

I was  not familiar with the procedure when we put Rush down and both of my children were there (~14 & 19 y.o.).  I have to admit it was startling even to me as an adult.  Once the vet started the injection, Rush went quickly and I didn't feel prepared (can you really be prepared?).  I guess I thought he'd give the shot, we'd have a few minutes, and then Rush would sort of fade out.  But it didn't happen that way, he was dead before the needle came out of his arm.  If I had a 4 year old, I don't think I'd have her there for the actual procedure.  I think I would have it done, then ask her if she wanted to see her and tell her that the dog is dead now so she could see her and say goodbye.  Or maybe she could visit with the dog beforehand, say good bye and then participate in the funeral.  It's such a tough decision, bless you as you navigate it your way through it! 

Ann, as everyone says...having your dog PTS is very hard.  I think we all have been in the position wondering when is the right time.  You are doing the right things here for her and your family as well to prepare.

Sounds to me like your daughter understands that Sinse will go to God after she dies.  I would agree to keep her in the loop before and after, but not during the procedure.

I can understand your concern about her feeling that YOU ended Sinse's life....best to explain it as the natural progression of life that it is.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. 

I hope everything goes very well...

but... re-burrying her - it most places it is illegal to bury a dog that has been euthanised. The combination of chemicals used to put her to sleep are controlled substances, class 4 (I believe) drugs, therefore must remain under lock and key (2 locks actually) at all times....I would double check with your states law reguading this...

Please let me know if you have questions about the whole process, I'm a certified eu tech, and I don't mind sharing how things go. It's very peacful and easy - the way we do things now.

Having just lost my spunky greyhound, I know what you are going through.

Callie, thank you for a wonderful story beautifully told.

It may have been said before but it is still worthy of repeat~ Better one day to soon than one day too late.

Ed

So sorry - the decision is never easy even when it is right.  Our vets have done home visits for euthanasia and I think it is worth the extra expense because it is less stressful. 

Hoping for a gentle transition for your dear friend - she will be surrounded by your love through it all.

In '06 I allowed two of my grandchildren to help me deliver a litter.  And they actually were a huge help.  This was a good sized litter and for one reason or another there were many life lessons learned.

Two puppies were still born. And another two had to be shaken down and whelp cpr to get them started was needed.  Bobby was then 4 years old. A logical but sensitive child he wanted information, reasons, details.  Why, he asked, were the pups all different when they were born? Because the process of whelping is both fast and legnthy I opted to allow Bobby to instruct me as to what he could absorb.

One of the still born pups was a "jelly baby" , a pup who never finished forming , This pup I quickly wrapped and put aside for burial later. While not hiding it  from him there was nothing for him to learn from the sad little thing.  We said good bye and Bobby explained to me he was going to help dig the hole and he could put in  window so the puppy could look out. Obviously the depth of what had happened had not settled in. The next two pups were normal both in presentation and arrival. Then we had a pup needing to be shaken down, massaged and stimulated. Bobby helped , his eyes huge and his touch tender. When this puppy began to sqawk Bobby was thrilled. The other stillborn followed and this puppy was nearly perfect.  After cleaning it up, making sure nothing would help I handed Bobby the pup to investigate. With a touch tender beyond his years he felt the tiny ears, the paws with toenails already needing a trim, His fingers ruffled the pup's coat, outlining the perfect ridge and He looked at me , gently laid the puppy in the special box.

After a long process we had a gorgeous litter. The Dam was contented and pleased,  the pups were busy nursing  and Bobby had learned not every puppy will live. He was able to grasp there was not a question of fault.  That sometimes there was not even a reason. He explained to me ,in the logic of his young mind,  the pup had felt better having us there take care of him.  We talked about the bridge, Bobby focused more on the rainbow .  Children are amazing. Given the opportunity they do not over complicate , they observe, find the most logical answers and are satisfied. By allowing both the dam and child to handle and investigate they reached their own conclusions. There was no confusion or expectation of the pup beyond the Hello and Good bye. 

I do have one caution, I agree with the others who advise your daughter not be in the room for the actual injection. There are a few reasons for this. Your dog may fight the feeling when it first begins and this is not easy for any of you. This would be confusing for the child. Sometimes the most direct explanation is the best.  You have been as sensitive and caring as you can be while dealing with something that is both painful and tragically inconvienant. The guilt you are trying to process over the choice to ease your girl back to her dignity has no value as a lesson for your daughter.  So spare all of you that part. With time, everything will feel differently so allow yourself that time. Let your child say good bye, then remove her for the amount of time needed.  When it is over and you know she has crossed bring your child back in the room.  Let her experience the utter stillness and make it into something special for her by saying things like, Doesn't she look happier now?  I am so glad she is not hurting any more. we light a candle as part of our goodbye celebration, we share the best things we can think of. and all of the children contribute thoughts, each is validated. If the onlything they can offer is their grief that is validated too.  We just accept it and tell them how sweet it is they feel so deeply that shows how special the dog was...

In 10 hours I may be celebrating the succesful surgery of my old girl or mourning her loss on the table, like you we have no other choice, my grandkids have never known a moment with out Jasmine. So before they go to school ( pre K 4, Kindergarten and 3thd grade) they will each give hugs and tell her they love her...just in case. We will also make sure the teachers all know to increase the support network.

 The best of luck dealing with this painful goodbye.

Bonita of Bwana

For one brief moment in time, I was pure in heart and saw the face of God. It was a young lady on a church bus making faces at the window. The delight in life and the joy to be here. That is the face of God. You can see it in your child, you can see it in your dog. And life is bittersweet. As much fun as it is to be here, it will end.

When my cat, Misty, was 16, she was looking lethargic and not well. I took ker to the vet and he diagnosed her with diminished kidney function. I was willing to let her go then but he said she's not in pain, just not doing as well as she used to. So, he had me switch her to Purina NF and she lived another year. When her kidneys failed, it was drastic. On a Sunday, with our vet closed, I took her to an emergency pet hospital. They could give her an expensive treatment that would make her feel better for a while but it was delaying the inevitable. As much as it would hurt to let her go, it would hurt more to see her in this pain and discomfort, over and over, just so that I could keep her around. As it is my responsibility, I will not let an animal of mine suffer. And so, she went to the bridge. As Sir Elton John sang, "every thing about this house was born to grow and die."

You will do fine relating it to your child and you are being responsible in ensuring the quality of your dog's life, even if it means it's time to let them go.

Blessings on you and your family in this troubling time.

I had a very similar experience with our husky.  She was a very active dog and everytime someone came to the house they'd always be greeted with a chorus of "SHUT THE DOOR!" because Nikki was so quick to muscle someone out of the way and run for freedom (the just-shy-of-an-acre-property was clearly not enough for her).  To make a long story short, she began limping very badly for the last few years of her life.  Most of this was from having twice fallen and tearing a tendon or something that required a major surgery and took 2 years (for both legs, which were injured consecutively) for her the limp to lessen.  We noticed she had trouble getting up and down, and found that she'd had a type of bone cancer that was eating away at the bone in her shoulder.  She was basically lame.  She'd lay in one spot all day, whining for treats (well I guess not since she didn't seem to want them).  The vet told us she wasn't in any pain, but that she would be eventually. 

We kept her for the holidays, took lots of pictures, and let everyone say goodbye to her.  I know that putting her down was the best choice, as her life was not a happy one in her current condition.  I will tell you this though, it's been 2 years since we let her down and I still feel the guilt of taking her to the vet.  It's painful to think about how scared she was, and to think that I was dropping her off when she wasn't in any physical pain.  I just know that she wasn't happy and while humans wouldn't consider this as a reason to let someone go, I feel it's different for dogs.  Her livelihood depended on running away from us and now she was confined to a corner in the living room. 

If you're worried about taking her to the vet, is your vet willing to make a house call?  It may cost a little extra but it will save her the uneasy ride to the office....

I don't mean to bring back this thread, but so many people have posted their thoughts and stories. That I just wanted to say thank you again. It has help to hear that others have been in the same boat wishing they didn't have to be the one to make the decision. As for Sinse, the vet will come here wed at 10am. It's not been easy for me as she still looks ok, but we do see her having some pain now. Still I wonder if it's enough, but hubby just wants it to be over. He says it's painful to keep going back and forth, knowing in the end it will be the same outcome just a week later. I know he is taking this hard too. He made her a beauiful coffin from birch and stained it and all. For him to take that kind of time I know he's hurting too. Our daughter broke out and cried her eyes out, saying she didn't want sinse to die, just over and over. Thought sad I almost laugh when she asked if god could take Nipper instead as she bites me!. However she does understand it for her age I think. At her request we took pictures of her and sinse for her to have, and we took sinse for a small walk and let her sniff everything. Will have hamburgers with sinse tomorrow night, I know this is more for us, but it's all we could think of. That morning our daughter will get to say good-bye and then go with grandma, until sinse is buried. Then she will could home and we'll plant a daylily on top of sinse grave and a little prayer. I was going to let her see sinse but she doesn't get the part that god takes her soul but leaves her body. I just think it's so much for her, and I can't stop other family from saying what they think will help too, so she gets a little confused. Still I think this will leave me with guilt for some time, but at least I know I'm not alone. Again thank you for all your support.

 Sorry to contradict your well-laid plans, but I think you should allow your daughter to attend the funeral, so she can "say goodbye".  All the thoughts and emotions she is grappling with right now can't just be left dangling.... I think she needs closure as much as you do.

When I was 11 my cat was run over.  My granddad found her and buried her, think he was doing a kindness... but it tore at me for months that I never got to "say goodbye".  When the family dog dies when I was 3, again, I wasn't there when he was buried and I was left with quite a lot of confusion and sadness and I think the funeral may have helped ease that. 

erica1989

but... re-burrying her - it most places it is illegal to bury a dog that has been euthanised. The combination of chemicals used to put her to sleep are controlled substances, class 4 (I believe) drugs, therefore must remain under lock and key (2 locks actually) at all times....I would double check with your states law reguading this...

 Our vet has a creamation service, and if your pet is cremated it is okay to bury them.

Hi, I'm sorry if it sounded like I have some type of plan, really I don't. It's just things I've thought of and I'm sure there are some things I haven't. I really wanted to let her see sinse but she has been given a mixed idea of what will happen by others, and I think it may be a shock for her to see sinse after, by the way she is only 4 not 11. At 11 she would differently be there if she wanted, as she would be able to understand a lot more. Truely sorry for sounding so well, morbid, I guess I'm just finding some peace in writing it all down. As there are so many people here who get it and been there, that it helps to read what others did, what they thought of. Oh and they (the vet) did say there was no problem in us burying her at home. Again thanks for the reply

 I know she is only four.   When we lost a family dog when I was 3, I think I would have benefited from going to the funeral.

Maybe not let her SEE sinse, but still let her be tehre when you bury her.  Sinse will be in a coffin?  Its up to you.  I was just offering my experiences from being on the other end of it, the child that didnt have a funeral for their pet... but all children are different.