Now is the time to say goodbye

Ann, I was JUST thinking about you.  I can't tell you whether or not it's the right time.  Like always my heart is going out to you.  I was wondering if your vet would come to your home to help you out?  Have you talked to your vet about the bumps?

((HUGS))

You could contact your vet about coming to your home to put her to sleep there, but realistically? You have to do what is right for your dog. And if that means putting her to sleep NOW rather than leaving her isolated outside? That's what you need to do.

 "The Last Days of Honeybear"- which makes up the first half of the book "OTCH Dreams" (by Willard Bailey) has some wonderful stuff to say. He also wrote an article on euthanasia and options that was printed in Borderlines, but I don't have a copy of that.  
 

I'm sorry this just sounds horrible, poor baby!

I'm sure there are traveling vets or one willing to come to your home to make her passing easier.  You may want to look into it in your area.

I'll be thinking of you folks.  Best wishes.
 

Ok our vet had a chance of heart and said he could come out to our house and we could sedate her first too. So this really helps, I didn't even ask how much, I was just relieved. Still hard to make that final yes we want to do this.

I'm so sorry. I know how tough of a decision this is to make. It's never easy, and you will always question it. But you have to think about HER quality of life. What is best for HER. You'll hurt, but you'll hurt because you loved her.
You gave her the best possible life, and that's what really matters.

No one is going to be able to tell you what is right for you but we can certainly share our experiences.  If it were me, I'd go ahead and have her PTS but that's me.

I grew up with a toy poodle named Gretchen.  She was my girl and we did everything together.  When I moved out of my parents home she of course came with me.  It was hard accepting that she was getting old and when health issues started occuring, I was in denile that she would one day die.  That little girl and her dog mentality had a strong hold on me.  But I will never forget the moment I just knew her time had come.

She'd been having some serious kidney problems and some heart trouble, and she was receving meds for these.  I kept her pinned up in the kitchen because she didn't have much control over her peeing so I understand about having to clean up after them.  She often needed a bath because she would lay in her pee.  But I did these things because I wanted her to get better; thought she'd get better.  However, one morning when I was taking her outside to potty, she stopped at the top of the stairs, looked at me and I saw that the light in her eyes was gone.  Her desire to do anything other than exist and be grumpy from feeling bad was gone.  I sat on the top stair and just cried because I knew what the very best thing for her would be and that was a trip to the e-vet.

It was no longer about trying to make her comfortable, prolong the inevitable, keep her with me so I didn't have to let her go.  I threw a sweatshirt over my pj's, loaded her in the car and we took our last ride together.  I cried and cried - partly because I felt like I failed her in her health care, but mostly because she was my right hand girl.  Do I have any doubt I did the right thing?  Not for a second.

I just wanted to give you support... I know this must be so hard to do... How nice that your vet will come out. My thoughts are with you and your family.  

Ann I personally think that you've laid wonderful groundwork to show your daughter and family how to care for a sick member of the family and you'll be doing a sweet and honorable thing by showing your daughter that sometimes its selfish ( I use that for lack of a better word, I'm not implying you are actually selfish) hold one to loved ones who need to be at peace.

I say the above statement in regards to when the time is right for you but from reading your post it sounds like you know what needs to be done. She might be able to hold on awhile longer but that dosnt mean she is happy. She may wag her tail when you get close to her because love dosnt wane with sickness but it sounds like she dosnt have the quality of life she deserves. My Rory and Primo send your family lots of doggy kisses and tail wags.

Thanks for all the support. Your post hits home because that is really my question. Is it only fair to her if she is in obviuos pain, or does it count if she just looks sick and sad. That we are getting  tired too, but not that we want to give up. I looked at Nipper last night and thought about the fact that one day I'll have to do it over again as she is 9. It simply the hardest thing to do for a pet.

My heart goes out to you. I've not been through this, but I think about the potential what if's down the road and I have to agree with Erica and AuroraLove in their thoughts on doing what's best for your beloved pet. I believe that it has to come down to quality of life for the animal. It has got to be the most difficult and selfless thing to let them go..... and give them peace. In my thoughts..........

Lynn

ann404

Is it only fair to her if she is in obviuos pain, or does it count if she just looks sick and sad. That we are getting  tired too, but not that we want to give up.

We put a cat down years ago. She had the lumpy tumors like you describe. The vet told us that he could send her home with us for the weekend but that would be her last time at home... I thought about it and realized that that weekend home would be for our comfort more than hers... We decided to let her go that day instead of drawing it out. And I'm glad we did.

Pain is only ONE benchmark. Our dog is in pain every day (as am I). But her quality of life is still good. To me, that is the most important benchmark. So, in my view, pain isn't the only thing to consider.

I enjoyed reading this. Maybe it will help you.  

How to Make a decision you never want to make.  

Ann, I think you are just going to have to follow your heart and your instincts the best you can. I believe you will know when the time comes. Until then my thoughts and prayers are with you. 

Wow I just read that link (how to make a decision...), and that was probably the best truthful summary I've read. It truly helped, thank you.

FIC that was a great article! I never thought about "loving a dog to death" and I've always said that if Rory can haul doggy butt across a open field or at least get up to relieve herself then I'll know its her time. Dogs contain so much pride and honor who are we to take that away?

It is a terrbily sad situation when a family pet has to leave but if we can hold their memories close to our heart and look back on them with the same honor they showed us then we did our job!

One of the main reasons we all aquire pets is to enusre they have a happy and healthy life, we work so hard to throughout their lives to keep them safe and comfertable, that shouldnt change when they reach the end of their road!