My dog life that is. I can't believe how much sadness that happy dogs have caused here lately. Loosing Bubby of course, we'll never be over that.
But told you guys about the new 3 yr old I was going to look at. We drove 5 hours there on Sat...stayed a few hours. We did'nt walk her like we planned...it was raining all the way there and back. They live in a rural area and we would have not walked past anyone or dogs anyway...so I guess it didn't matter.
Over the past month ( yes..its been a month ) we have corresponded by email on and off. Talked to her mom at first by phone. We are on the same wave length...we pretty much agree on how we think dogs should be taken care of. INCLUDING vaccinations. Our visit was good, it went well. We liked the dog. Pretty much she said..well let me know...talk it over, she is not going anywhere. If you remember..she has another dog that don't get along. Only one thing that I wasn't sure of,,,and when I emailed her that night to thank her for letting us visit...I told her that I thought that the dog got up from a laying position on the slow side. Not a struggle...but not like Bubby did. She ansered that she always did and all of her Danes always got up slow like that. I answered that I guess I was comparing to Bubby and I shouldn't have because I thought she was very very healthy and strong and look what happened to her. So there are no guarantees! I then asked about the food she fed her..thinking I will have to get some because I would want to slowly turn her over to EP. SHE thought EP was good idea when I was there.
I was excited when I got an email from her yesterday. Until I read it. She said she talked it over with the others ( She is owned by two partner breeders besides herself ) and they have decided I have so many worrys that I have asked about that she is afraid I will make the dog a worrier as they can sense worry. That maybe the trauma of Bubby is too close...maybe she is not for me. thank you! THAT WAS IT! The breeder that told me about her also said that "questions are good..but I am over thinking so she doesn't want to be mean..just realistic!" WOW,,,I am in total and utter shock. The first thing she told me was that once the dog leaves..she can't come back becasue it would be too hard with the other dog. I didn't even question aggression becasue I do'nt have another dog...and she got along with one other dog they have. Question about her getting up like that, questions on who will spay her,,,and concern that what if she doest adjust to us.... I don't wnat to be trying to find a home for a 3 yr old Dane. A few questions such as is she a crate dog... how long did they have her and things like that. I see none of these being too many questions...or concerns.
I am at a loss. I feel so bad. I feel cheated and rejected. Unfortunately thinking of the possibility of getting her helped me get past the fact that I was making myself sick over Bubblegum. I could have told her right away that I wanted the dog...but I did'nt want to come off as RUSHING especially after Bubblegum. Everyone kept warning me....... but in my head...I took the picture that I have of her and I pictured her in my house... eating, sleeping in our room at night.... she was my fantasy. Now I feel lost.
I don't know if its a definate NO. I was going to wait until she talked to the others... to see what they came up with. But I couldnt... I wrote an email saying that I thought there was some kind of misunderstanding...... that I thought I was being a good prospect by trying to ask things I should know.... I didn't ever think it would come off as neurotic or worrysome.
Thanks for letting me vent. I see that my head is very fragile right now, I am a mental mess on this. I feel almost sick to my stomach...no..thats not almost. Last night my supper would not go past the lump in my throat, I threw it out. I am a believer that things happen the way they should... She came to me at a time that I didn't expect.... she was an omen for me. She needed a home...my home needed a dog. And a Dane was just perfect. Now I am trying to look at this as another omen...that I am being protected from something that should not be. But its just too hard believing that right now.