What is going on in my life??

Oh, Dyan......I am so sorry.......I have had easy times fostering and adopting..........but, Nanook was a rescue from Petsmart, I had no intention of adopting......but, the said sob story of letting me know that this dog might not have a chance based on breed mix and size.........and the rescue place was more easy than others........apparently, they were looking for an owner who could handle a more difficult rescue.....ok.....I had my records and they were all so pleased to adopt out a dog......so, all I am trying to say is.....if you can show what you have dealt with there will be rescues who will adopt out without all the difficulties.......the rescue I dealt with with was Paws of Virginia.....thanks to Karen, I ended up with Nanook........he is a lover.........

OMG, dyan, I feel so sad for you reading this thread!  When I acquired Kenya I was very nervous about the entire thing because she was a working line dog of very sound breeding coming from a very reputable breeder and I was totally transparent in letting them know this would be my first dog (though I grew up around shepherds, rotts, and labs, not small dogs).  Probably every shepherd person on this board would tell a newbie not to get a shepherd as a first time dog, let alone a drivey working line one.  Also, I had agreed to adopt her in April 2007 and could not take her home until the last week of July so for months I was nervous about something falling through on our end or theirs.  Honest to God, the day we drove out to meet Kenya I was ten times more excited/nervous than the day I got married.  I can't imagine going through all the nerves and then excitement, only to be told "no" after all.  I would be inconsolable and can't imagine how you are feeling right now.  I only hope that maybe there is the right dog for you still out there.  I was very lucky that the breeder thoroughly evaluated me and my intentions for the dog and has encouraged me every step of the way.  I guess I broke a lot of the "rules" - I don't have a fenced yard, I work full time, I do have cats in my house, I do not own my home, I'd never competed with a dog before, etc, but they insisted this was the right dog for me and they were right.  I really hope you can find a rescue that can appropriately work with you and not get your hopes up only to deny you for reasons that I do not seem to understand....

dyan

I am a believer that things happen the way they should...

So am I. And the fact that they thought you asked too many questions (how can that be?) and changed their minds tells me that this is not meant to be.

I'm SO sorry for the emotional roller coaster you must be on! I haven't read the rest of the responses, but I will after I post this.

Every breeder I've ever talked to was thrilled when people ask questions. ANY questions. It shows they're concerned for the welfare of the animal. Only one breeder got upset when I asked "too many questions" about a GSD I was in the market for and she told me almost exactly what this lady told you. She said I was "too nervous" and she didn't want her puppy in my home. The reason is that I got too close to something that she didn't want to reveal regarding medical testing. I'm not saying that's your experience, but I'm just saying that good breeders are usually more than willing to answer any and all questions a potential buyer might ask, without judgment. So, in my opinion, this is a red flag, anyway. Your questions were VALID! And a little bit of worrying and concern are absolutely understandable and appropriate, in my opinion.

I'm so sorry.  The right dog will find you. This is apparently not the right one. But there is one out there just waiting for his mom to show up and claim him (or her). I hope you can move past this unpleasant experience and not allow it to color your search. Because someone who cares a lot about their dogs is going to be happy that you are so thoughtful and careful about getting the right dog.

Hugs to you, dyan...  

Thanks guys...and please don't feel sad. I guess this is something I have to go thru.  Perhaps if I was healed over Bubblegum I would be taking this a lot better. But I can tell you..its clear that I am not going to get over her for a long long time.

Please know...this dog is not a definate NO yet....  in fact her owner just emailed me to tell me that she is waiting to hear from the others....who are partners in this dog. Her last sentence was that she was only wanted what was best for her dog.  I let it go for a day...then I anwered her.

You see...there are two partners as breeders of this dog... and this lady that has her now...is the third...I GUESS. At first it sounded like her dog..although she said she was in it with the others. She was to breed the dog and she wanted a puppy from it.      I answered her today..and I told her I didn't blame her in the least for only wanting what was best for her...I would be the same.   Of course for  me,,,the best would be to NOT rehome her at all. But I added that since she  met me and my husband... since she has talked to me several times and knows exactly how we treat and care for our dog.... AND that she and I had the same thoughts on how to treat and bring up a dog...agree on vaccination limits and all.... that I find it hard to believe that the "others" that haven't spoken with me could possibly help in deciding what is best for the dog that lives with her.   I added that I guess I don't really understand partners in a living being to begin with.     

So what they come up with after I don't know.  What I will come up with,, I don't know either.  I still haven't ruled out puppies yet.....because in the end to bring up  a giant breed the way you want him brought up,,,might be easier than taking what someone else started. 

The only thing I would worry about is that they seem really attached to the dog and might be really nosey even if they do let you adopt the dog.  This was a concern with me for Kenya, since she was bred and raised by her breeder since day 2 when her mother stopped producing milk and this breeder flat out gave her to me (because she was "priceless" to her).  I was scared of screwing up and always having someone looking over my shoulder.  I really had to "feel out" the situation before I made the decision.  Luckily, her breeder is very down-to-earth and has never tried to impose anything on me like what she has to eat, getting titles, changing my schedule to accommodate the dog, etc.  Her only requirements were that Kenya is immediately returned to HER if anything happens to me (even if DH is ok) and that I not train under a certain agility person in the area (which I will NOT do anyway b/c that person is evil and will ridicule you for having fun with your dog).  I can always go to her for advice but she never prods me about Kenya.

Goodness Dyan... it's been rough. I'm so sorry.

You're in my thoughts!
 

 Dyan, speaking from experience this past year, I understand. When your dog finds you, you'll know in your heart.

 
When I lost Daisy (very unexpectedly mind you) in January, I was heartbroken and angry and crushed. I really wanted to lay down and give up, she was my heart dog. She was my world. I got selfish and got a dog in early March, one that I didn't research the breeder as much as I should have. I wanted a dog and I wanted one now. I was tired of not going home to the pitter patter of little feet, tired of not waking up with a cold nose in my ear, tired of not having a dog I could practice my grooming skills on. Most important, tired of not sharing my life, my love and my home with another dog.

 I got a dog. I got Louie. And he was sick. Very very sick. I didn't post this until now, but I lost him too a few weeks ago. He had a liver disease (most likely either hepatitis or leptospirosis). I never thought I wanted to go through with that again, especially so soon after losing Daisy. Two losses in 4 months.

This has turned more of a "ME" post than you, but I'm telling you don't give up. I understand how you love the breed. I don't think I can have anything but Shih Tzus. They hold a special place in my heart. With Danes, you love them, and then those giant love-bugs age faster, and they're here on earth less. 

I'll be thinking of you, good luck. you'll find another dog. It may not be  exactly like Bubby, but your new pup will surely have the same twinkle in their eye that she did. (I don't know what you believe, but I think our animals come back sometimes, in our future animals, and we see them again)

You'll find the right dog Dyan--just don't try too hard.  The right one will find you.  Look at Willow-she was in Vermont--5 hours from us--what were the chances of DH meeting her??

Dyan...

You sound well.  I am so glad to hear that your options are expanding and YOU are beginning to make some of the choices, as opposed to the fosters or resues being in charge.  That must be a breath of fresh air.  After losing a dog, the immediate time afterwards really leaves us and our world so convoluted and inside out that making any decision, or hearing someone else's determination of our ability to adopt a dog seems really, pretty cruel.  We are numb at the time, opinions of us seem so judgemental, and frankly, things get so personal.  How unfair, because really, in the end, Dyan, we just want to fill the heart and home because we know just how qualified we are. It's just that the broken heart interferes in our confidence and well, we just have to work that much harder at bringing someone home.

You are so close...and I couldn't be happier for you.

Peace...Coleen

ETA: Doc...I am so sorry for your terrible loss of Daisy in January.  Your story of Louie....I offer condolences as well.  How unbelievably sad, and and I am very sorry for his passing as well. Just last month, I too, lived a similar nightmare with my Murphy. 

She was hit by a car when she was about 3 and I was in bits.  I cried and cried.  I cried for about 3 days straight almost without stopping.  I dreamed about her.  I missed her.  I ached and ached and everyone said "oh it was only a cat".  I grieved for a long time.  We had other cats in the house after that but I didn't fall in love with them.  There didn't seem any point I suppose.


Just a little over three years ago I decided I wanted a cat again.  And I decided I wanted a longhaired female grey.  I searched for MONTHS.  There was a litter of 3 LHGs in Scotland, but there was no way I could travel there to get one.  A friend at work who knew all about my search showed me a photo of HER cat and he looked very similar to MY cat.  And then she said that his mother (who was owned by her sister in law) was due to have another litter soon (and if you ask me the poor creature wasn't even old enough to have had ONE litter, but that's by the way) and there was a very good chance that one of them might turn out like this one.

The cat had 3 kittens and I was assured that one of them was almost identical to hers when he was first born and they were pretty sure "it" was a "she".  The other two had a lot of white on them.  I was in regular contact with the owner and it was all arranged that I would have this kitten.  I received regular photos of this kitten and I started to picture her in my home.  I was so excited.  My friend arranged to visit her sister in law and bring back two of the kittens - "mine" and one for herself.

About a week before she was due to collect them, there was a bombshell.  A little girl from down the street had been coming to play with the kittens every day.... and you can probably guess the rest.  My friend and I both talked to her to see if there was any possibility the child could have the THIRD kitten (the one that didnt have a home yet) but she flat out refused.  She'd promised the little girl and that was all there was to it.

You know something stupid?  It nearly felt like losing my old cat all over again.  I was GUTTED.  I didn't even have the heart to keep looking.

And then I got an email,  I'd left an ad on a website, something like "looking for......" and this was a lady replying to it.  "you're in luck" was what she said.  "I have TWO grey kittens, one grey tabby and a normal tabby...."  She sent me a picture as well.  All the kittens were short haired but somehow that didn't matter.  It was like "it was meant to be" or something, you know?

I couldn't be happier with her.  She is perfect.  I mean REALLY perfect.  In every way.  Now, when I think about how hard it was at times, when I was looking for her, I think "but it was worth it".  And for me, it's proof that everything really DOES happen for a reason.  And it's true what they say - when a door slams in your face, a window opens somewhere.... 

I know I could love a dog...most any dog. I know me.  

I am trying to step back and just take every day as it comes.  I am trying to "think" other things then dogs. But of course the hard thing about that is then I go back to dwelling on Bubblegum.   You know...I am a dweller........part of my make-up...not the better part for sure.

My husband I went to meet with Baby yesterday.  She is a nice dog...she has some skin problems though..and is a little over weight ( I think a lot ) which is kind of scary for a big dog. 

Today we are looking at another almost 3 yr old.  I am also in contact with a breeder who has been on the same board as the one that told me about Paris.   She has a couple of pups about 4 weeks old.... if I get a pup, I think I will go look at hers. 

By husband doesn't really want a puppy..and of course I too like the thought of getting an older one. On the other hand....you have to consider for a giant breed...three years is a lot.  My son keep telling me that a three year old has lived half its life. That should NOT be true,,,even in a giant breed.  But then he said "look at Bubblegum!"  HHHmmm!   

I'm on your side, Dyan.

Forget the crap about being old or even having a physical limitation. My FIL is 84 and is using a walker right now. And they have a geriatric Lhasa Apso. Great Dane, same difference. Follow your heart.

It sounds like the person you talked to has no problems with you getting the one dog but someone else raised an objection, possibly because they can't part with the dog. Well, they can fish or cut bait, but they need to make a choice. You are more than qualified to have this dog. Or any dog. And I say, yes, get another Great Dane. That is your expertise, your breed of choice, your heart's desire. You're supposed to compare other dogs to Bubby. How else would you know that you could find another quality pet like her unless you compared? I hurt bad for a year after having my cat, Misty, PTS. But having Shadow made it easier to deal with, without diminishing what Misty meant to me.

While patience is a good thing, you have already had enough patience and you have the commitment. Get yourself a Great Dane. Either the first one or Baby. Any reasonable person is going to welcome and be pleased with the list of questions you ask.

Ron,,, thank you!

I can't tell you how much!

Dyan

Just calling like I see it. I can only guess at what the hold up is with other people but I can't see any reason why should not be allowed to adopt the dog. And, of course, as others suggested, there are other avenues to try. There's a whole world of dogs out there.

ETA:

http://www.petfinder.com/search/search.cgi?breed=Great+Dane&tmpl=&preview=&animal=Dog&preview=&zip=75023

http://www.danerescue.net/

The above are only two of many links I found for Great Danes in Texas. Some of them might be able to arrange transport. I don't know where you live but there might be similar orgs in your area or even a neighboring state.

Dyan-I was looking online and there is a rescue that services parts of your area and the nearby states called Great Dane Rescue, Inc.  I was looking online and they have some very nice dogs.  I was looking at females and the ones they showed were good with other dogs/cats, people-they looked nice. 

I hope you don't think that I was trying to put you down or insult you at all with my posts before about considering the breed.  I would say that to anyone regardless because regardless of our age, we all have different things in our life that may or may not make a certain type of dog a good match for us.  I'm certainly on your side as I always have been since we met here.