Do any of you have a "Dog Rule List"?

rule # one:  under no circumstances is anyone ever permitted to raise a hand to my dogs, no matter how mad they may be at said dogs.  to do so will result in immediate ejection from my house, and perhaps from my life, depending on the severity.
 
rule # two:  NILF.  no treats, no kisses, no screechy "hi babies" unless the dogs produce a "sit" or whatever else is asked of them.. my MOM is the worst offender. 
 
rule # 3: no mouthing allowed.  none. 
 
rule #4:   if you are afraid of the dogs, absolutely ignore them.  pretend they aren't there, so they will leave you alone.  don't look at them, don't talk to them, don't touch them, and i will make sure they leave you alone.  people seem to find this rule extremely difficult to follow.
 
rule # 5:  if you are going to help me walk the dogs, NO PULLING ALLOWED.  again, MOM is the WORST about this, followed closely by my neighbor.
 
am i a complete nazi????[sm=blah2.gif]

No hitting
No yelliing
No making her afraid or teasing her
No feeding foods she can't have
No bedroom
No birdroom
No spraying her with anything
No going out without a leash
No just letting her do whatever for nothing, NILIF applies no matter if I'm home or not
And, no encouraging her to be aggressive, no "get em" or anything like that for animals, people or anything.

Ditto badrap word for word..... and would add we have a strict Four on The Floor rule here, NO petting or treats otherwise, DH is wosrt for relaxing this but has got stricter since William came home.  Also, if they DO pull; just stop, if they mouth; IGNORE and if they jump, turn away.

My List: (Luckily my SO feels the same way so he enforces the rules if I'm not around)

1) No encouraging jumping
2) no baby talk
3) No making Lille nuts by scatching her butt like a maniac, she ends up peeing everywhere [:@]
4) No calling Dasher by another name...very strange that people do this at all...Dasher is the only dog people have done this with.  I'm not talking about calling him a term of enderment, like honey, baby, etc.  I am talking about totally different names like Jasper, Scooter, etc.[8|]....I think Dasher is a good name, I guess  it bothers some people [8|]
5) No teasing the dogs (My biggest pet peeve).  Dasher loves to fetch and inevitably some baffoon will "pretend" to throw the ball, hide it and let Dasher run around expecting he/she has thrown it...not sure why this amuses people.  I hate it.  I have yet to ever say anything to those people b/c they usually only do it once.  I think I must give them "the look" or maybe its b/c I don't laugh hysterically as they do while they are doing it.  [:@]

Rule #1 here is definately the same as most others': no hitting, poking, pinching, or any other negtive physical contact allowed. Thankfully, I've never really had to discipline anyone for doing that.
 
2. No intentionally stirring stuff up between the dogs--this is the one I have trouble enforcing with DH. He likes to instigate with the dogs, get them all riled up, set them up in scenarios in which there might be antagonism between them. It irritates the hell out of me and I am constantly telling him to not do it.
 
3. Safety first: no leaving the front door without leashes on, proper management of the house so no curious doggies get themselves in to trouble.
 
4. NILIF but not ridiculous. We've got friendly, soft dogs and there's no reason to be militant about the NILIF at this point --and  no NILIFing using commands the dogs don't really know (DH again tends to do this) because that is just not fair.
 
5. DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THE BEGGING COONHOUND! If you ignore him, he really does go away, I swear, but people have a really hard time believing me on that point, and any pushing, shoving, yelling, fake-growling, or fussing makes him stick around and watch you eat longer.

I have only 2 rules to add to the others:
 
You cannot, will not and better not open my doors and enter my house without my say so. I cannot stress this enough. You can enter when I say so or let you in. Needless to say my screen doors even stay locked.
 
If your sending the kids over, call.
 
 

I actually have "Animal feeding instructions" posted on my fridge. My mom suggested that I do this since I travel for work every so often and friends/family come over to take care of my pets. On that list the only rule I have noted is "No human food for either dog please". This is because my husky is a huge begger since most of her life everyone (including me) would feed her nibbles of whatever we were eating. I don't want my aussie to pick up this behavior so all table feeding has come to a halt. My friends still don't always follow this rule but atleast my family does.
 
My unwritten rule is: No dogs allowed on the furniture or in my bed. I don't let my dogs sleep in bed with me or hang out on the couch when I'm around. Of course, my husky does sleep on my bed and couch when I'm gone but that's ok. The point is those are my spaces when I'm in the house and they can only get up on them if they're invited (which is rarely ever).

I don't have anything to contribute to the thread...just wondering, what is "NILIF"...?

I had to look that up awhile back too, I practiced it and didn't even know it!
 
Nothing In Life Is Free
 
Before you dog gets anything he must do something. Ask them for a sit stay before feeding, ask them to down stay before going out, a sit for a toss of the ball, basically the dog needs to earn the reward whatever it is.
 

ah! gotcha, thanks so much, that had me truly confuzzled!

1-NEVER let me dog out when I'm home without my permission and he must be on leash unless directed otherwise.
 
2-Do not feed him human food.  He has a sensitive stomach and human food usually doesn't agree with him.
 
3-Do not let him jump on you.  If he does, turn your back to him and ignore him.  Once he sits you may give him attention and praise.
 
4-If he gets in your lap, tell him OFF.  If he does not listen, push him off.  He will get the message.
 
5-Please do not try to get him to bark.  In the whole time I have owned him, he has barked 3 times.  He is not a barker and I find you barking at him to be annoying.  He must too with the look he gives you as well.
 
6-Do not hit my dog.  If he did something and needs to be punished, just give him a loud, firm "NO".  He hates being yelled at and will leave you immediately to go lie down.
 
7-Treats are fine.  Most of my guests know exactly where my treat jar is.  However, he must sit for a treat (or any other command he knows).  And again, he DOES NOT know "speak".  No matter how many times you tell him to speak, he will not understand you.

You CANNOT feed treats to Joy that you brought with, because they're milkbones
If you can't stomach the sight of her gnawing on a pork heart, bet your sorry butt you won' be com9ing back
NO NO NO opening doors unless I say so
No walking her
No petting unless I say so

We're a casual place, and so far haven't had any tiny kids, or people I'd distrust with my dog.
 
1.  Shut the @*#( door.
2.  Dont feed the dog anything unless I give it to you to give to him.

BADRAP summed it up for me, too (bravo!)
 
I would add:
 
"Knock before entering"
 
If I am inside and the kids are outside playing they must knock before coming in. First because I don't want them to whack Gizmo with the kitchen door (when I cook sometimes he lies near the door to watch) and of course I don't want them to accidentally let him out.
 
The kids were NOT obeying this rule, so I started locking the doors---then they HAD to knock. (I let them in immediately of course and thank them for knocking.)
 
So, BADRAP, you thought YOU were bad?[sm=eek.gif] This sounds mean, but when they start remembering I will unlock the door. Safety first---always.