Republican/Conservative Corner

timsdat

ottoluv

I agree, people that can't live on less then 100,000 a year have no one to blame but themselves.

You do have to factor in the cost of living of where a person is living.  100k goes a lot further in most areas of the country that it does say in NYC. 

ottoluv

Be frugal and work hard.

Great advice.

ottoluv

People have a really big problem living outside their means in this country.

Very big problem in every income class.  I guess that all the product advertising and easy credit works.

 

ottoluv

Yup, I know all about expensive areas. I live in los angeles, right on the corner of beverly hills ;)

I give you a lot of credit for being able to live in that area. With my current life style I'd be screwed in CA if I wanted to buy.

Pomeranian <3

I want to buy them a car. I don't want to spoil them; but I want my children to have a comfortable life (yes that means a laptop when they need one, and ipods for christmas, or w/e toys are out by that time)

And there you go continuing the cycle to the next generation.  I'll bet that is what you had also.  Look where it got you.  You are learning very hard lessons about life and economics now aren't you.  Don't you think that it would be easier if a child realized that everything just doesn't show up. 

timsdat

Pomeranian <3

I want to buy them a car. I don't want to spoil them; but I want my children to have a comfortable life (yes that means a laptop when they need one, and ipods for christmas, or w/e toys are out by that time)

And there you go continuing the cycle to the next generation.  I'll bet that is what you had also.  Look where it got you.  You are learning very hard lessons about life and economics now aren't you.  Don't you think that it would be easier if a child realized that everything just doesn't show up. 

Yep which is why I do plan on doing it different. Based on grades & they will have a job or be involved in extra curricular activities. And if they are a well deserving child of something such as a car they will get one.

That's fair right?? That way the will understand the meaning of a dollar... but in the end I'll probably surprise them here and there and help out.

My life went something like this... had NOTHING, moved up north to be with my Dad got EVERYTHING, then turned 18 and was told "okay your an adult... bye!" yeah that is not good, haha deff don't want to do that to my kids...

 I do just fine on a residents salary, have no debt other then my loans from school. Be frugal and work hard. If you do that then you will rarely have problems.

Being frugal and working hard isn't the simple answer when you're 200-300K in debt and living on a resident salary of 30 K/yr (encompassing med or vet school OOS grads) plus since now debts cannot be deferred during residency anymore, because despite your huge debt, you are still making "above the poverty line"...oh, I can hardly wait....Sorry, just got my new loan statement today

 As for providing your kids with stuff....I didn't expect anything from my folks after I turned 18 and went off to college. I think kids need to get jobs and work to buy their own things (cars, ipods, etc) Not to say parents can't get their kids Christmas presents....but kids NEED to work. I can't tell you how many people I met in college who had never hedl jobs. It was awful. I want to smack every parent that just up and buys their kid a nice new car for graduating high school. It just teaches them that they can get something (and something BIG) for nothing.  I worked to pay for half the car, and then paid my parents back for the rest of it in monthly installements from my work.

 How else are you going to know how the real world is, if you don't work, earn money, budget it, etc?

ottoluv

I agree, people that can't live on less then 100,000 a year have no one to blame but themselves.

Pomeranian <3

Based on grades

Good grades were expected.  I never got a reward for good grades only removal of privledges for bad grades.  Teachs the kid about real life.  Someone is not always there patting you on the back.  Hard work and a job well done is an internalized goal.

Pomeranian <3

And they are a well deserving child of something such as a car they will get one.

Why.  Why not let them work save and pay for their own.  It would be a first real life lesson and at a good age also.

Pomeranian <3

but in the end I'll probably surprise them here and there and help out.

Again you are helping them to be dependent on others.

My parents grew up during the great depression.  I guess that they taught me a financial set of values of be reliant on yourself.

jenn52

ottoluv

I agree, people that can't live on less then 100,000 a year have no one to blame but themselves.

 I don't necessarily agree with this, but it really doesn't go as far as it seems.  I don't feel comfortable saying exactly how much we make, but $30k of what we make goes in taxes, then there is 401k, health insurance, car insurance is $2000 a year, we have two car payments, rent is $1700 a month, utilitilies, student loan payments, school and books for my husband, food is a huge expense, gas to get to work is several hundred a month, we have some cc debt that we are working on, my cell phone and while we do have some cushion at the end of the month, we're not as comfy as I would like to be, nor can we afford a home here and I can't imagine if we had a baby and had $1200 in daycare.   It's easy to throw stones and say how could you not live on $xxx when you aren't yourself...

Oh Jen... I need to hug you... Now I don't feel alone... Since the bills simply can't decrease, I vote the taxes decrease ;o) haha that's the only reason why I complain... my lifestyle is just BILLS and it's hard...

Pomeranian <3:

Based on grades

 

Good grades were expected.  I never got a reward for good grades only removal of privledges for bad grades.  Teachs the kid about real life.  Someone is not always there patting you on the back.  Hard work and a job well done is an internalized goal.

Pomeranian <3:

And they are a well deserving child of something such as a car they will get one.

 

Why.  Why not let them work save and pay for their own.  It would be a first real life lesson and at a good age also.

Pomeranian <3:

but in the end I'll probably surprise them here and there and help out.

 

Again you are helping them to be dependent on others.

Timsdat, you are right on. It's not being a "mean parent" or a "stingy parent" - it is teaching kids and teenagers how the real world works so it will not be such a shock when they are on their own. I'm still quite on the young end (23) but I am incredibly thankful that I have worked for almost everything I have, and that my parent guided me towards such a path instead of being a support crutch.

I am a more competent, independent, and financially literate individual because of it. I would raise my kids the same way.

Pomeranian <3

My life went something like this... had NOTHING, moved up north to be with my Dad got EVERYTHING, then turned 18 and was told "okay your an adult... bye!" yeah that is not good, haha deff don't want to do that to my kids...

You might change your mind, lol!  I was mad at my parents for a long time for never helping me through college.  I moved out at 17 and had been working for my own spending money since I was 13.  Parents never ever gave out money for the clothes I wanted, make-up, going to movies....if I wanted something other than food and school books, I came up with it myself.  Same for cars, I was never on the insurance so I could not drive my mom's car so I rode buses or paid other people.  But now looking back I don't think it was so bad.  I have friends that were so spoiled they can't even figure out how to pay a cable bill without their mom or dad.  They have these anxiety attacks brought on by "stress" that is really them having no preparation for reality and being a mature adult with responsibilities. In college I was sort of the mother figure of our house because I handle the lease agreements, all of the utilities, paying the rent, getting the trash and recycling sorted, calling the handyman for repairs, etc and the girls often wondered how I knew how to handle everything, but the truth is you just learn it from doing it and not panicking.  I just could never believe it when I'd overhear my friend having a screaming fight with her mom because her mom would not buy her something she wanted.  In the end I felt bad for her because she didn't know any different.  Her parents never let go.  The more they kept her under their wing, the worse it got.  We are still checking in on her to make sure she gets her homework in on time and isn't having self-induced panic attacks.

All is true... I just know there was no way I could be the good student I was plus sports plus work?? I played three sports, was in AP/Honors classes, then ontop of that acedemic clubs???

Working full time NOW I can't even afford to "buy" a car. I had to finance one.

I think expecting that much out of kids is a LOT! But at the same time I'm not going to spoil them rotten and let them get w/e they want when they want just because... they can earn things in other ways besides money.

I remember resenting my mother a lot as a child b/c she never gave us anything. Knowing who I was under 18 I was no where near ready for school, activities, job, and "earning everything" myself.

At least my children will be better off than I was... that's the goal. I don't want to be the perfect parents, I just don't want to be my parents.

What I do understand what Liesje said was that "stress" I feel b/c I was litterally THROWN into the adult world! ZERO preperation. I was too sheltered

Pomeranian <3

All is true... I just know there was no way I could be the good student I was plus sports plus work?? I played three sports, was in AP/Honors classes, then ontop of that acedemic clubs???

Some don't have a choice.  I was captain of the gymnastics team and MVP, made As, and also worked 4-5 days a week throughout high school.  It's definitely possible.  Academic clubs was something I had to sacrifice in favor of working.  I've always felt that most clubs are a luxury even if the people in them don't realize it.  I sure would have liked to make sets for the plays rather than walk home and work.

DH and I were complaining about this the other day.  He is a student but he is in his final semesters and is now student teaching full time.  The school told him that they very strongly discourage people working while they are student teaching.  He is getting some exception because he is a married adult (25 yrs old).  His friends told him there was no way they could have worked even part time during their student teaching.  Then I talked to my mom about it and she said that's a bunch of bull, my aunt worked full time her entire time in college, including her student teaching.  She worked the night shift as a receptionists/dispatcher at the police station.  When you have no other choice, you can make it work.  Now my sister was in the theater club, but she had to quit soccer for that.  Gymnastics meant too much to me to quit that, even though it took up 4 hours every night.

At least my children will be better off than I was... that's the goal. I don't want to be the perfect parents, I just don't want to be my parents.

That is a fine goal that I'm sure we all have, but "better off" to me does not have anything to do with toys, cars, computers, iPods, and being sheltered from adult responsibilities. 

I too hate when they say to you in college "we recommend you don't work more than 10hours a week." I think some can handle it, come can't.

I know I for one I could NOT do what you did. But at the same time I have so much respect for people like you that do.

I guess it all really depends on the person? Like I could not have the work load my BF has plus he goes to graduate school as well (he's 28yrs old) and I look at him like HOW do you have that drive and motivation?! Can I borrow some?!

I deff don't want my kids to be raised wrong... but its hard to figure out what exactly is right. (I'm glad I've got time)

The real big worry about me is I don't want to have my own lifestyle over influence my children like my parents did to me.

 When I turned 16, my parents suprised me with a new car. My mom picked me up from school one day in it. It wasnt a fancy new car, nothing special, power nothing, and that night my parents said, you want to drive that car, you work. You pay for gas, you help with insurance, you want a cell phone you pay for it. So I worked, and I played soccer and still had school. In college I held a summer job at an amusement park, a waitressing job at a little pub occassionally and worked at retail stores, sometimes working 2 jobs at the same time while full time in college. My parents were hard on me alot of times, but I am thankful they are. My father taught me a huge lesson with tough love and that is how to live on my own.

Nowadays you see 10 year olds with cell phones!! My cousin who just turned 16 has had a cell phone since she was 12!  Completely ridiculous. What does a 12 year old need with a expensive cell phone with a texting plan also?

jennyx0023

 When I turned 16, my parents suprised me with a new car. My mom picked me up from school one day in it. It wasnt a fancy new car, nothing special, power nothing, and that night my parents said, you want to drive that car, you work. You pay for gas, you help with insurance, you want a cell phone you pay for it. So I worked, and I played soccer and still had school. In college I held a summer job at an amusement park, a waitressing job at a little pub occassionally and worked at retail stores, sometimes working 2 jobs at the same time while full time in college. My parents were hard on me alot of times, but I am thankful they are. My father taught me a huge lesson with tough love and that is how to live on my own.

Nowadays you see 10 year olds with cell phones!! My cousin who just turned 16 has had a cell phone since she was 12!  Completely ridiculous. What does a 12 year old need with a expensive cell phone with a texting plan also?

That was how my Dad kind of did it with me. I deff got what I wanted for Christmas and he surprised me with a Mazda one day. I was deff not like the rest of the kids in town driving around in BMWs with everything under the sun. All though in a way I did have everything I could possibly need. When I turned 18 it was like BAM! I was on my own... extreme tough love. No matter how screwed I am right now he smiles and says "welcome to reality" ugh I hate it... but he's right!!! Like last night I was complaing about taxes since I OWE the government money and he starts clapping his hands in a sing-songy voice says "welcome to life! i remember those days!" lol thanks dad...

The whole thing with "ahh there are 10yr olds with cell phones!" When I start to feel this way I start to feel old... b/c don't you remember your parents saying "when I was your age we didn't have the internet, we'd go knock on people's doors!" lol "we walked 10miles through the snow to school..."

Now I feel like I'm calling the little kids I know these days spoiled b/c I'm like "psh I never got to have all those cool toys..." haha

WHAT I WANNA KNOW... is at what point does this begin to really effect society???