Should I let her go?(Bullymom)

I am orginally from Michigan....it gets cold there.....my sister and I didn't freeze, but, we have norwegian ancestors.....lol......

It sounds to me like you don't trust your hubby.......is that the case?

I don't know about pet reptiles, but if your hubby takes care of your baby, there should not be any problems.....but, I can't tell you what you should do, and nobody else should.....it has to be your decision......good luck.....

snownose

It sounds to me like you don't trust your hubby.......is that the case?

In a way, I don't trust him!!  I know that probably sounds bad!!  But he has never been alone with her for more that one day.  I don't think he can handle her, one on one, for 5 days.  I want her to be able to see her Grandpa but I want to know that she will be safe too.  I could get so much done in those 5 days!!  I need to get finished with my Christmas shopping and I am having a birthday party for Madison and Angela on December 16th so I need to get my house Extra clean! 

But you WON'T get stuff done in that 5 days.  You wil spend the entire time worrying about her.  Can anyone else take her off you, for say, 2 of those 5 days?  Anyone you trust?  Is she in a nursery?  If not, can you get her into one, on a permanent basis, for a couple of mornings a week?  Kids need a nursery like pups need puppy class!  Would probably do her the world of good.

Bullymom

In a way, I don't trust him!!

Wow.  Madison is his daughter too, right?  Don't think for a minute that fathers don't love and want to protect their children.  

Ok, so maybe he hasn't cared for her on a daily basis.  Maybe he hasn't had to put up with her "showing her butt" as you say.  However, perhaps your daughter and you need a break from each other.  Perhaps that little break is looking you in the eye and you should seize this opportunity.  

It sounds to me that you and your DH need to have a talk about the issues that you have, or else things are just going to keep building up.   

Ed my DH practically raised Lily while I worked....but the fact is dad's DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY than Mom's do and many times that does end in issues that could have been avoided. Some Dad's take their kids shopping and think it's perfectly fine to allow the kid to wander off a few paces while they stare at the tools in Sears....I've seen it myself...these kids are right on the edge of getting lost...and I will watch the kid FOR that Dad and then say loudly..."Hey sweety where's your Momma?"....ONLY then does the Dad snap out of it and totally panic.

How lucky are they that I, not someone else found the kid?

How textbook is the scene of a man throwing his baby into the air, and catching it....while the Mother's turns green and tries to end the activity?

It's not a major marriage issue...it is a basic difference with men and women.

Bullymom...that's a long time...I wouldn't do it, personally. esp given the activities they'll be doing.

 Can you go along with them?  Maybe the break would be good for you...the work will always wait!

rwbeagles

It's not a major marriage issue...it is a basic difference with men and women.

Bullymom...that's a long time...I wouldn't do it, personally. esp given the activities they'll be doing.

My dad let me do TONS of things as a kid, that my mom would have shuddered to see, like standing up in the car, with my head through the sun roof, while my uncles held my legs ...so dangerous, but.... SO FUN!!! Mind you there were no moms or aunts in the car at the time   And then there was the time my dad and uncles took me and my cousins on a boat.... and sunk it, before we got out of the dock...  I think that was the last time they were aloud to be alone with the kids, after that one there was a mom or aunt presence at all times.  I will admit it was more fun with dad and my uncles.. LOL.

Ok, maybe that wasn't the best story to share, I'm sure your hubby wouldnt do anything like that, and this was before all the seatbelt laws and alike..... but like everyone else has said go with your gut.  If something is telling you no, then I wouldnt do it.  Maybe save their alone trip together for a shorter trip, where he can be more focused on her. 

Gina, I think I understand your point of view.  I can't say I do completely because I'm not a mom.  That being the case, wasn't it just a few days ago when Bullymom wanted to send Madison over to the grandparent's place for a couple of weeks?  I think a break is in order.  JMO. 

I was thinking the very same things as Gina. I don't think it has anything to do with dads not loving their children as much as moms do, but I do think that they don't always realize the constant attention that young children need.  As much as I think you need some time alone, I don't think I'd be comfortable letting her go.

I admit to not knowing any history here (your marital situation and Madison's parentage) and if I'm out of line, I apologize. However, if you're married to Madison's father and this is the person that wants to take her for 5 days to a place she would love to go and you need a break badly? and you're questioning whether you should let him? I think something is very wrong here. She is as much your husband's as she is yours. Right? This reads like a twilight zone to me. My husband would be furious at the idea of me "letting" him take our 3-year-old daughter somewhere for a week. Especially when you were so willing to let your dad take her for the same amount of time. My God, I would trust my husband over anyone with our kids. 

Your husband will never learn how to be with her and take good care of her without the opportunity to do so.  

From reading the other thread, it sounds like this little girl (and you) would benefit greatly from a break in the routine. And I hope you're being successful in being more consistent with her and letting her know that you are the mom.  

Should you let her go? Emphatically, YES!

I don't have kids, but I can tell you from my experience with dogs that my hubby, (who is a great guy that grew up with, and LOVES dogs) has a completely different interpretation of the word "watch" than I do. To me, when my dogs were little puppies, watch meant eyes on. If I couldn't actually see them, I wasn't watching them. To him, having them somewhere in the near vicinity, like in the same room but with his back to them while he played games on his computer, was "watching" the dog. Guess who had more puppy accidents on their "watch"?

I can also tell you that while I don't dwell on the worst case scenario, I'm always conscious, sometimes only in the very back of my mind, of potential dangers, and am doing what I can to mitigate them. An example is when Keefer is in the back seat of the SUV and Tom rolls the window down for him. They don't go all the way down for child safety, but are certainly open enough that Keef, (an 80+ pound German shepherd), could jump out, or even be flung out in an emergency maneuver. So I ask Tom to roll them up to what *I* think is safe - an opening smaller than his rib cage. He rolls his eyes and mutters about my paranoia. Sure, it's unlikely Keefer would every try to jump out of the car, he's never tried before, but it COULD happen. To me, it's just being prudent, but it never occurs to my husband that things like that could, and might, happen. All it takes is a second and he'd be sorry for the rest of his life.

As much as I love my hubby, knowing that he's so much more casual about things than I am, (even without kids I think like a mom!), I'd probably worry too, especially around reptiles.
 

Cassidys Mom

I don't have kids, but I can tell you from my experience with dogs that my hubby, (who is a great guy that grew up with, and LOVES dogs) has a completely different interpretation of the word "watch" than I do. To me, when my dogs were little puppies, watch meant eyes on. If I couldn't actually see them, I wasn't watching them. To him, having them somewhere in the near vicinity, like in the same room but with his back to them while he played games on his computer, was "watching" the dog. Guess who had more puppy accidents on their "watch"?