Honest Opinions Needed!! (mrstjohnson) - Updated on first post

mrstjohnson

Her reply was that she uncomfortable ordering something online.

And that is not your problem. I would send her the $200 and call it a done deal. There's no way a used 4-year-old pump is worth $200. She's getting a bargain!
 

rwbeagles

Agreed...which is what Lisa offered.

That is not what I read.  I read it as she was willing to replace it with a similar model.  There were some differences. 

Anyway my opinion is either that you replace it with exactly the same unit or give her the amount of money she paid for the original plus tax. 

timsdat

There were some differences. 

Yeah...one was brand new and the other 4 years old LOL.

timsdat

It is a little harder in this case as I don't think that there is large used pump market out there in the class that this one was.  Therefore establishing the fair market value is harder and can only be determined by replacing the item as close as you can. 

Actually there is and she doesn't want a used one, she wants a brand new one.  I found one on ebay for $150 only used once and she doesn't want it

 I agree, she's probably grumpy and freaked out and hormonal and so crazier than usual. I have a lot of sympathy for people who go nuts when they're under stress, as I do, and in your friend's position I would probably be freaking out about it too. Not because it's your fault, but because it's something to freak out about during a stressful time.

My advice would be to take a bunch of looooooooong deep breaths, remember that she's your friend and you love her despite her being obnoxious sometimes, and then do whatever you feel is the right thing to do and just be nice/gentle/calm if and when she complains. If the money is an issue for you, tell her so gently - "I'm really sorry, I just can't afford to pay for that right now, I really wish I could" and just let it go.

If she's proven herself to be a good friend at other times, chalk this one up to hormones, put on a flak jacket, and tell yourself she's lucky you're a patient friend :) 

mrstjohnson

Actually there is and she doesn't want a used one, she wants a brand new one.  I found one on ebay for $150 only used once and she doesn't want it

Actually I could understand that.  Who knows who used it before and the care they gave it.  After all we are talking about a medical device.

That being said then I would just give her the money to cover what the pump cost her when she bought it.  Don't forget to include the tax as we are talking about a good amount of money. 

We don't want to see you 2 on Judge Alex (or whoever is doing these shows now).

timsdat

That being said then I would just give her the money to cover what the pump cost her when she bought it.  Don't forget to include the tax as we are talking about a good amount of money. 

That's what I offered.  I told her to get the pump for $235 (the exact one she had) on line and I would pay her the difference between that one and what the isnurance was for which would be $35 (free shipping no tax), the insurance check is going right to her.  She doesn't want that she wants to me to pay for the convenience of her getting it at Target for full price $320.  That I don't think is fair.

mrstjohnson

That's what I offered.  I told her to get the pump for $235 (the exact one she had) on line and I would pay her the difference between that one and what the isnurance was for which would be $35 (free shipping no tax), the insurance check is going right to her. 

Ok since you have found one for $235 (new I hope, as I believe that the manufacturer doesn't recommend use by multiple people), Order it your self and have it sent to her (overnight express).  That way she has suffered no inconvience thru it all.  You are taking care of it for her. 

timsdat

Ok since you have found one for $235 (new I hope, as I believe that the manufacturer doesn't recommend use by multiple people), Order it your self and have it sent to her (overnight express).  That way she has suffered no inconvience thru it all.  You are taking care of it for her. 

Yep, it was new.  Truley found it for me online.  I gave her two options, the $235 new one online or the $150 one on ebay where she would actually make $50 in the difference between what the insurance is covering.  The ironic this is she doesn't want a used one, but when she asked me to send her hers early (within her rights) and I asked her if she could wait until I found a replacement, she told me to get one off of ebay.

Dh is adament that I don't order it for her since the insurance check is going right to her.  He has had some repayment issues with her DH (they have been friends for a long time- that's how I know her, he still owes my DH $1000+ from about 5 years ago) and he is guaranteed that we would never see that $200 again.  So that would mean she got a new pump and $200.  That's what makes this so complicated!  I do really, really really feel bad.  I am not the type of person to say, sorry, you're screwed.  I have been crying about this all day.  She is just so out of control.  Demanding that she gets the more expensive one right now!

Personally, I'd be the bigger person. Buy the one for $230, have it shipped to her and if she wants to keep the $200, let it be on her head, you won't be out that money the insurance will. That way you are in the clear karmically and have the ability to stop worrying about it and if she keeps the $200 you know how little your friendship really meant.

Bawb2u

the one for $230, have it shipped to her and if she wants to keep the $200, let it be on her head, you won't be out that money the insurance will.

No, I will be out the $230 though if I pay for it.  Since the insurance check to cover the cost is going directly to her.

Is $230 worth getting this stressed out for? How good of a friend is she to you and how much do you value the friendship at? If she sends you the $200, you'll be out $30, if she doesn't, you'll find out that she values your friendship at $230, which to me means she doesn't value it at all. Either way, your stress is over and you don't have to worry about the situation any more.Let her go buy another friend with the $200.

denise m

It seems like everyone is in agreement here but IMHO  - you borrowed your friends pump and that saved you from having to buy one yourself. It seems you also borrowed it knowing that your friend would need the pump returned for her own use. So if you look at it from her perspective, she did you a favour and saved you money. Now because of her generosity she has to do with a replacement that she doesn't like. She bought herself the pump that she liked and I think she has to be made whole. It would be like loaning someone your car and they had an accident and wrecked it. Would you accept a less valuable car or chip in half the amount the insurance didn't cover. No. You would expect them to replace the car they wrecked. You would want to be made whole.

I agree with this.. if this were me, I'd buy her a new pump.  I know it sucks.  ... and it's rude that she didn't thank you for what you did as a thank you, when you included the 'thank you's' in the package, to her. 

Keep in mind, she's about to deliver, full of hormones and may not be reacting as she normally would. She's your friend for a reason, and clearly was a generous friend, by lending you a $300+ piece of equipment :)

Good luck, I hope you can work it out!

I replied on Page 2, not noticing there was a Page 3, oops!  Sorry, 'bout that!

If there is a history of mistrust... and she's getting the $200 from the USPS, that does complicate things.  .... I have no advice, just crossed fingers that it works out!

Good luck! :)

mrstjohnson

Bawb2u

the one for $230, have it shipped to her and if she wants to keep the $200, let it be on her head, you won't be out that money the insurance will.

No, I will be out the $230 though if I pay for it.  Since the insurance check to cover the cost is going directly to her.

I had to file an insurance claim with the post office last year and it took me almost a year, numerous hours of my time, and many many phone calls and visits to the post office to get my check in the mail.  I would call the post office or go to the actual one where you filed the claim first thing in the morning and see if you can have the check sent to you instead.  Just keep good records b/c for me, eventually that is what it came down to.  

I personally would purchase the $235 one just like her old one online and have it shipped to her and eat the difference myself if this is a good friend that you really care about.  I have a tendency, even when the principal of it all seems so stupid and wrong, to be a pleaser and just rise above someone who might be acting like she is about this.  I might even have it sent at a priority rate if it wasn't too much more.  Honestly, if you sent her the money, or even if the post office sent the money right away, it will probably take just as long to get there so she could go to the store and buy her new one in person as a pump that you order for her online. 

I can understand not wanting a used pump only used once but at the same time, you used her pump and she was willing to use it again b/c you sent her new parts for the things that would have mattered.  She has those new unused parts she could use on a new "used" pump too if she went that route.

Are you having to buy yourself a new pump right now too?  You might mention to her that it is putting a strain on you financially b/c you were planning on using hers until December and then weren't going to need a pump after that.  Not sure of your particular situation but just something to consider.   

 I do think you should replace her pump but I also feel her demands are a little too much as well.