Rehoming....

ORIGINAL: Hollysmom

Just take the RR and have a few drinks too to relax.  It will be ok one way or another. 

 
LOL! This puppy is driving me to alcohol. []
 
It seems like you felt the same way about Holly that I did about Gingerbread from the beginning. I guess with some you have to develop that bond... I'll be drinking and bonding if anyone needs me. (JK) []

Hey, many have bonded over a drink or two! []

Luv -  margaritas are doing the job for me right now!!!  Is GingerB a TZ?   My poor Red (golden retriever mix) has this 30 lb. puppy hanging off his neck, biting his neck, his feet, his mouth,,,I hate say I let him babysit the pup for a while til I have to step in and tell her "NO BITE" and give a timeout in her crate.  She gets so worked up I swear she'll have heartattack.  She doesn't listen to me.  But Red seems to LOVE her playing with him.  Here is some advice my breeder just sent me....    
 
"As far as her beating the crap out of Red, from time to time, you NEED to tell her NO!...In your firm training voice. If she doesn't listen, flip her on the side and in the same "all business" voice tell her "I'm the boss and I said, NO!.....You must behave." She must always know that the People are the Alphas and not her. She will jockey with the other dogs for her position among them. "No Bite" are words you must use frequently at this point and time of her growth stage. You are not being mean, you are taken your responsibility as a pet owner to not be raising a "menace to your household and the neighborhood". Be consistant and strict during this period and you will have a wonderful loving pet as she matures into an adult. Otherwise, you will have the spoiled brat that only her parents love. Very good for her to take a trip to PetSmart once a week or so just for the socialization, so that she will not become afraid of other dogs and different surroundings.
It can be a happy time and gets her used to "bye bye" as well."
 

There wouldn't be much of a wait for another puppy because she usually has 3 or 4 litters at any given time.

I'm so sorry.  Unfortunately, this is never a good thing.  Multiple litters on the ground frequently typically is a sign of a BYB at best... puppy miller at worst.  []  I'm really very sorry, but it really DOES look like you've gotten quite a bit more than you bargained for.

Secondly, I stay far, far away from alpha rolling my pups (and dogs), and pushing it over on its side is basically a modified alpha roll.  There are many ways you can establish your leadership with the puppy without having to resort to this (controversial and potentially quite dangerous) technique.

I read where you said earlier that you'd give it a good two weeks.  Good for you!  You have all of us here to back you up.  We have faith in you.

I'd recommend taking in a couple of quick reads while you take in those Margaritas. [] I had a heck of a time with my wee terror Zhi when she got here (ten weeks old, by the way). She'd been spoiled and ignored, in that order, since leaving her litter at the age of five or six weeks. The difference was that I was ready - I knew what lost her two homes in five weeks so I ran out and gave myself a refresher course in the current methods of training companion dogs and especially small dogs.

Consider this - the flip side of a very pushy dog is that this is usually a dog with a confident, outgoing personality. It's not too late to mold him so that Cinnabun uses his powers for Good and Not for Evil, so to speak.

Order these books which outline simple and practical plans of action to whip tiny terrors into shape. Patricia McConnell's Leader of the Pack has some basic concepts about establishing yourself as a benevolent leader (no alpha rolls necessary - and much too dangerous for a bitty thing like Cinnabun).

Deborah Wood's Little Dogs: Training Your Pint-Sized Companion was a real gem and an eye-opener for me for sure. I couldn't understand why I was finding it so hard to teach Zhi "down" for instance, and how to handle her growling at other dogs when she was in my lap. Deborah Wood has a whole training program to put Cinnabun through, very simple and basic and only takes maybe five minutes a couple times a day.

Advanced reading would include McConnell's The Other End of the Leash. Jean Donaldson's Culture Clash should be required reading for anyone considering rehoming a dog and trying to decide whether it's really a personality clash or just an adjustment problem. And of course Bones Would Rain From the Sky, Suzanne Clothier's marvelous bible of insight on how we interact with our dogs.

I think the best advice is to keep an open mind.  Like I said in the other topic, Colton was a demon compared to Rose.  Rose is my velcro dog as many have put it.  Colton is the most independent stubborn Russell I have ever met!  I wanted to send him back many times, but I kept with it, and he adjusted very well to apartment life.  He has even learned not to mess with the rabbits anymore!  And that is a major accomplishment for a Russell!  Give him some time, and if you must rehome him, then so be it.  Just don't give up yet!

Thank you for the advice!! There wouldn't be much of a wait for another puppy because she usually has 3 or 4 litters at any given time.

How many broodbitches does she have?  I only know of one breeder by reputation that has more than two litters at a time, and she's responsible for about 75% of the champions in her breed.  I know another breeder that had two litters within two weeks.  But all of the show breeders I know have maybe one or two litters a year.  The majority have only one litter.

I'm sorry it's not working out Luvntzus I have no real advice to give other than what has already been said.

There wouldn't be much of a wait for another puppy because she usually has 3 or 4 litters at any given time.

Yikes! Sounds like a puppy mill to me [&:]

Tamara i've pm'd you.

In this case, she practically told me not to e-mail before 2 weeks!

Just wanted to point out that the breeder may not be ill intentioned here, but may simply be trying to get you to give the dog a little time to settle down before making your decision. The breeder may figure that if she continues dialoging with you in the interim about her taking the dog back, your focus will be on returning the dog and the particulars therof, rather than on possibly bonding with the dog. So she may figure that by taking herself out of the picture for a few weeks while you and the dog get to know each other, you and Cinnabun will both have an opportunity to get to know each other better and see if that connection happens. And, you know, it may. Not every pup is instantly lovable, but some get far more lovable in time! : ) And the pup is still very young, which means you still have a lot of opportunity to mold her personality. As dogs get attached to you, they generally become more and more eager to please, and often they mold their own personality to what they think you want...so a little work and training can go a long way toward ending up with the dog you want, even if the dog doesn't quite start that way.

Some pups are just tougher than others in the early days, and settling into a new home can make things worse because the change is just so traumatic for everyone. So you may be seeing the worst of the worst right now.

I do know from personal experience that not having "chemistry" with your dog in the very beginning doesn't necessarily mean it can't or won't work. While I'd never tell her this, in the initial days after bringing Jessie home, I thought she was just one big, great disappointment, especially compared to my previous dog, who was incredibly sweet and easy and pretty much issue free (or at least not a dog that would earn the nickname "Cujo" from all who met her). Jess took more time and training than any other dog I'd ever had before, she was smarter and more dominant and more stubborn and more a lot of other things, but I can honestly say that the bond we have now is utterly unique, and damn near magical. I wouldn't trade her for the world, and if you told me I'd feel this way the first week I had her, I would've told you you were nuts. So it can happen...

I'm glad you're giving it a few weeks -- I hope during that time you do some work with her, which may help build a connection and help shape her to fit your life better. And, on the plus side, even if you don't keep the dog, you've helped to socialize her a bit and made her next situation a bit easier. And who knows, she might just grow on you.

If not, I'd ask the breeder outright if she'll refund your money and see what she says. She probably won't offer anything now because she wants to wait and see if the two of you bond, rather than give you a reason to give the dog back. But if after a reasonable trial period, you still decide this is not the dog for you and you tell her you're not keeping her, she may offer to refund your money, or at least part of it. And part is better than none, yes? Especially since she seemed to really care for the dog. Unless you're planning on selling her locally if you rehome her? I mostly deal with mixed breeds these days, so I'm not really up on the financials behind the sale of pedigree pups, and if they have "resale" value...especially since I think I paid a $62.50 donation for Jess (best deal I ever made!). : )

But, in any case, I do wish you luck with this, and I hope it all works out!

Jan

I just wanted to say, YOU CAN DO THIS!!  I had a few times with Willow were I almost gave her up, had the rescue coming to get her.  And, I had been scared to heck by vets and "trainers" who told me I should "put her down" or worse.  So, take a deep breath, don't worry about what the vet said about the behaviorist (I've got the OP in my e-mail) and just take one day at a time.  I figured out what the most pressing issues were and dealt with them first.  Then go from there.  I didn't have a second dog but I did have past dogs as a child that I compared her to.  Try to stop that, he's Cinnabun, not anyone else. 
 
If I can take an unsocialized chow, with health issues, never having owned my own dog before let alone a difficult breed like this in, you can do this.  And, I just know someday on the other side of this you're doing to be just like me saying I thank God I stuck it out.  He needs some time right now, he's going thru a huge adjustment.  Can I offer one more bit of advice?  If there is one thing I've learned taking in not just my dog but other kinds of animals too it's let them have their adjustment period.  I've read you've gone to the vet, gave a bath, want to change food, etc.  I understand it all and I know the vet is necessary.  But, take it slooow.  You've got plenty of time. 

ORIGINAL: Luvntzus

Thank you for the great advice! He DEFINITELY does need to learn who the alpha is. The breeder actually came out and said that he was more spoiled than all their other puppies because he's so cute that it's hard not to give him his way. [&o] 

On the one hand I wonder if they turned him into a little monster, but on the other hand I wonder if it was a case of the squeaky wheel getting the grease. As in, he already had the personality and they just made it a little worse... [8|]

The reason that I'm considering rehoming him is that I don't think his personality would be a problem for the right family. The breeder's family thought he was awesome and many, many people don't mind bratty dogs.

My hesitation in wanting to wait 2 more weeks is that we might still be having the same issues, except then we'll probably have gotten more attached to him and it'll make it harder for everyone. Having said that, I'm going to take your (and some other people's advice on here) and give it some more time- 2 weeks from the time that we brought him home. I think that will be enough time to know if this is going to work or not....

Edited to add- I meant to say that the breeder DID encourage me to keep him. She gave me a small amount of advice, but told me to e-mail her in 2 weeks and let her know how things were!?! Shouldn't a really good breeder tell you to call anytime you needed any help and be a source of help? In this case, she practically told me not to e-mail before 2 weeks!

 
I cant believe your breeder gave you a little bit of advice then suggested you email her back in 2 weeeks. Sorry to say but a responsible breeder would have called you on the phone and insisited you call them back the next day. A responsible breeder is there no matter what for you and the puppy, they want things to work out and most importantly they want to be sure that the animal is well taken care of and safe and that the new owners are happy with the dog. They wouldnt just tell you to get over it and email them back in 2 weeks. Most likely they would have gotten information on a good trainer in the area as well. Maybe I am being non realistic. I have never bought a dog from a responsible breeder before, but that is what I would expect if I did. I would at least expect some advice on what to do and expect a follow up in the next day or two to see how things were going.
 
3 litters is also a bad sign that usually means a BYB.
 
I am, however, very happy you decided to give Cinn a chance. I would practice NILIF with him and truly I would probably find a trainer for a private lesson (I dont think they are all that expensive) and truly the trainer can tell you if you should work with this dog or ship him back. We are only online and cant see the dog or know exactly what it is doing and how hard it is to control.
 
Please keep us updated on how it is going. I am sure some of the members can offer you advice but to me the best thing would be to have a good trainer look at him and evaluate him for you.
 
Shame on the breeder for treating you that way though. If they knew the dog "threw fits" they should have told you ahead of time. A good breeder tries to match the personality of the dog up with the personality of the person. They dont just sell the dog to the first person who comes up with the right amount of money.

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ORIGINAL: willowchow

I just wanted to say, YOU CAN DO THIS!!  I had a few times with Willow were I almost gave her up, had the rescue coming to get her.  And, I had been scared to heck by vets and "trainers" who told me I should "put her down" or worse.  So, take a deep breath, don't worry about what the vet said about the behaviorist (I've got the OP in my e-mail) and just take one day at a time.  I figured out what the most pressing issues were and dealt with them first.  Then go from there.  I didn't have a second dog but I did have past dogs as a child that I compared her to.  Try to stop that, he's Cinnabun, not anyone else. 

If I can take an unsocialized chow, with health issues, never having owned my own dog before let alone a difficult breed like this in, you can do this.  And, I just know someday on the other side of this you're doing to be just like me saying I thank God I stuck it out.  He needs some time right now, he's going thru a huge adjustment.  Can I offer one more bit of advice?  If there is one thing I've learned taking in not just my dog but other kinds of animals too it's let them have their adjustment period.  I've read you've gone to the vet, gave a bath, want to change food, etc.  I understand it all and I know the vet is necessary.  But, take it slooow.  You've got plenty of time. 

 
Thank you for the very encouraging post!! I'm trying not to get overwhelmed here, it's so hard though. The vet definitely did scare the bjesus out of me as far as what I was getting myself into. I know he was only trying to help though.
 
I'm really trying to slow things down and give him some more time....

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