Dog Community

An unofficial, unauthorized poll

probe1957

Posted : 6/28/2006 8:36:26 AM

I heard something interesting on the radio this morning. When a woman asks her SO if an outfit she is wearing makes her look fat, 65% of them actually want the truth. That got me to thinking and I thought I might posit some of those thoughts right here on good ol' idog.

65% might be considerably better odds than you would have sitting at a craps table in Vegas, but I'll be damned if it is anywhere near good enough for me. While 65% of women may want a truthful answer, I believe that nowhere near 65% of men have the balls to provide it. I place myself firmly in their ranks.

I believe it was Ron, who quoted a friend whose response to that question was, "No, it's your hippopotamus ass that makes you look fat." Absolutely hilarious but extremely dangerous. There ought to have been some kind of Presidential citation for this guy. No man, on any battlefield, in any war, has ever placed himself in more peril than that guy did. It is one of the many things that makes me proud to be an American.

A woman I once dated told me that any woman who is over a size 10 thinks she is fat. I don't even know what a size 10 is, but let's accept her premise for a moment and wonder, why don't ALL women, who are over a size 10, just assume they look fat in anything, and not ever ask that kind of question? Hmmmmm?

The participation here on idog seems to me to be overwhelmingly female. I have never undersood why. Maybe there really are a lot of men here but, just as in real life, few of us are able to get a word in edgewise. A man, to be sure, would never ask his SO if an outfit he had on made him look fat because, well, we just don't care. I know I am fat and I don't need my wife to confirm it. I got a pretty good clue when, late last year, she signed us both up at a health club. So, ladies, when you ask, do you REALLY want to know?

sooner

Posted : 6/28/2006 9:04:26 AM

If I asked I would really want to know, but I would never ask. I don't need someone else's opinion, if I'm uncomfortable or feel like something doesn't look good, I'll change.

sharismom

Posted : 6/28/2006 9:04:42 AM

A woman I once dated told me that any woman who is over a size 10 thinks she is fat. I don't even know what a size 10 is, but let's accept her premise for a moment and wonder, why don't ALL women, who are over a size 10, just assume they look fat in anything, and not ever ask that kind of question? Hmmmmm?

A size 10 is not terribly large. I've been a size 10 since high school (and I'm 39), at 5'8" 140 lbs. I saw last week the average woman is now 5'4", 140 lbs, and a size 14. A lot depends on bone structure and where a person carries her weight. I have my days when I feel fat, but I think that comes with the "women's thing" territory.

I really try to avoid setting my b/f up by asking if I look fat. I'd rather ask if I look okay in something - and I mean that as "how do I look overall?" Does the outfit suit me? Right color? Flattering cut?

That being said, one of our favorite commercials is the one where the lady comes into the kitchen in a summery blue dress and asks her husband, who is reading the paper, if the dress makes her look fat. He replies, without ever looking at her: you betcha!

sooner

Posted : 6/28/2006 9:05:24 AM

I'm a size 10, I liked myself better as an 8 but I'm not overweight. I'm tall and curvy and 10s fit the best. I think 10 is pretty average really, it could be overweight for some people but it's far from obese.

The diet system commercial where the girl is so embarrassed about being a 10 and proud she went down to a 4 is one of the many reasons women's views on themselves are so screwed up. On anyone over 5'5" I think a four is too thin.

forpaws

Posted : 6/28/2006 9:08:03 AM

So, ladies, when you ask, do you REALLY want to know?

Yes, I want to know. And if something I am wearing does not look right or good for the occassion, yes I would want my DH to advise me. I do the same for him too.

RileysMommy

Posted : 6/28/2006 9:16:54 AM

You betcha I want to know. I'm 5'8" and a size 12. I do not look nor feel overweight, my clothes fit right and I usually don't wear anything skin tight. That being said, if I were to venture out and buy something that I was not 100% sure of, I would ask my SO's opinion and expect 100% honesty. I take no offense if I'm told it looks terrible, or really is not flattering.

Mary

rwbeagles

Posted : 6/28/2006 9:17:11 AM

To give you a perspective...here are Marilyn Monroe's measurements:

Height:
5 feet, 5½ inches

Weight:
118-140 pounds

Bust:
35-37 inches

Waist:
22-23 inches

Hips:
35-36 inches

Bra size:
36D
A woman of Marilyn's height, at the extreme of Marilyn's weight range (140 lbs), would probably wear a size 12 dress today (which is the same dress size listed for Marilyn in the book The Unabridged Marilyn). Perhaps at one time she did wear dresses that might have been considered size 16 (or even 1

back in the 1950s, but she almost certainly did not wear dresses equivalent to today's size 16. This is borne out by citings such as the following (which might also be a source of some confusion, as a British size 16 would be the equivalent of an American size 12):

I've never asked this question....certainly not of any men. I might have asked my Mom or sisters. Really...it's not something I can ever see asking as other than a joke. I've certainly asked 'Does this look okay'...which is a lot mroe general and when I ask I'm usually concerned about the fit, the drape the matching, the suitability for occasion...stuff like that.

magilacudy

Posted : 6/28/2006 9:23:08 AM

I do want to know. I know I need to loose the weight I put on this winter, it's just not so easy this time. So......I can't believe I am going to do this, but I want to know. How do I look in this?

I usually wear a big t-shirt over top. So I want your opinion. Trust me I wont be upset, Should I wear a one piece or a t-shirt over this?

glenmar

Posted : 6/28/2006 9:38:16 AM

Yep, I really DO want to know. And in the interest of full disclosure that is common in our marriage, I can trust my dh to tell me the truth.

It's HARD for me to look in the mirror and NOT see a size 16/18 anymore. It's hard for me to grasp that yep, I can wear a 6 or an 8 depending on the cut.....I can recall that at 98 lbs I still had a tiny bit of a pot belly because I'm soooo shortwaisted....but when I look in the mirror, what do you think I see?? Yep, the belly. Hugely smaller than a year or so ago, but still there. So while I might look FAT to me, I know that to the rest of the world, I don't neccessarily and that's why I'll ASK my better half.

We are lambasted with super skinny images of women going way back to Twiggy, the super model of what, the 60's or 70's?? Until that time women were supposed to have some curves...now we aren't, or at least according to what we see on TV and in magazines. Apparently we are all supposed to look like little boys. Is it any wonder eating disorders are so prevelent or that we still ask "do I look fat in this?"

rredbird

Posted : 6/28/2006 9:54:42 AM

First - Angel you look fine in the suit! I see people twice your size in suits half that size here at the beach and it ain't pretty! You look cute - cute suit!

On to Billy's question:

Honey - you will never hear me ask my DH if I look fat! I already KNOW i am fat LOL! Depending on cut I wear anything from a size 16 to a 20 with the majority an 18. You will however hear me ask on something I am not sure about - Does this look okay? By ok I mean color somewhat flattering, no bulges sticking out and no panty lines showing (sorry but even if Lane Bryant makes them you will not find thongs in my drawers literally!).

So in answer to your question - Yes I want to hear the truth. But as every good pollster knows it's all in how you phrase the questions!

miranadobe

Posted : 6/28/2006 10:21:40 AM

I'm not stupid enough to ask my SO/BF if I look "fat" in something. I usually know if I look fat in it and I'm not going to call his attention to it!! If I want that opinion about fit or something, I will ask my sister or friends who will give the HONEST opinion I want without risk of me feeling hurt by the answer.

In other words, if I'm asking someone, I really want to know the truth. But my friend's assessment of my appearance has no bearing on our relationship. He/she will not lose interest in our friendship if I get fat. However, in a romantic relationship, my appearance and attractiveness DO factor into the relationship. So, if he said, "yeah, you look fat" (which we all are communicating fat = bad), then I may think my b/f thinks I look bad/not attractive. How about the times I don't ask him? Does he think I look bad then, too?

I think the women who ask their SO if they look fat and get upset with the honest answer either-
-Don't have a friend close enough who will give an honest answer
-Want their husband to give them a compliment, but their question to solicit it is a loaded one. They are the "Tester" kind who want their BF/SO to confirm everyday how attracted they are to her.
- OR, it's the women who secretly believe they're fat and sadly are beating themselves up over it, and use someone else's comments as yet another whip to beat themselves with.

glenmar

Posted : 6/28/2006 10:31:43 AM

I think the women who ask their SO if they look fat either -
-Don't have a friend close enough who will give an honest answer
-Want their husband to give them a compliment, but their question to solicit it is a loaded one. They are the "Tester" kind who want their BF/SO to be perfect and say all the right things and confirm everyday how attracted they are to her.
- OR, it's the women who secretly believe they're fat and sadly are beating themselves up over it, and use someone else's comments as yet another whip to beat themselves with.

While it's true that I don't have a close friend or female friend in the BEDROOM with me while I'm dressing,you couldn't be further off the mark with me at least. I DO value my husbands opinion and he WILL be honest with me even knowing that an affirmative answer will delay our departure while I change.....

Kate

Posted : 6/28/2006 10:32:02 AM

I don't ask if I look fat. I do ask if it looks good/bad. Yes, I have my own opinion and at the end of the day that is all that counts BUT sometimes you need somone else's perspective on things. I think many women are guilty of being overly self-critical. They will see this and that and conclude they look terrible when other people don't even notice. I know I'm guilty of this myself. I ask my SO for his opinion at times to get a "second opinion".

meilani

Posted : 6/28/2006 10:36:23 AM

Maybe I'm one of the few, but I've never asked a man to critique my appearance. I know what I look like, I know what my positives are, I know my flaws and I don't need a confirmation of that from someone else. Considering my future husband has seen me bucked ass nekkid and is still with me after 7 years, I would say that's evidence enough that he loves the way I look.... especially if I'm sporting a black corset and some fishnets. [

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miranadobe

Posted : 6/28/2006 10:40:01 AM

I DO value my husbands opinion and he WILL be honest

I should have qualified - the women who ask their husband/SO and get upset with the answer. I will go back and edit the post.