An unofficial, unauthorized poll

Most times I ask my DH how something looks, I end up regretting it. He's not like many husbands who say "sure, that looks fine".  He takes the role very seriously, so I get things like "are they supposed to be that short?"...me - "yes, they're capris"..him -"ooohhhh, well I guess they're okay.  Are you going to wear those sandals?"...me -"yes, I bought them to go with the outfit"...him "ooohhh, well, do you have other sandals you could wear?"  Anyway, it's too much work and I've just learned to trust my own opinion.  Having a girlfriend to ask is always a better choice when you're just not sure.

I'd never ask DH that question either.  In nearly 40 years I haven't asked his opinion on more than one or two things anyway [][] so I just do whatever I think needs to be done however I want to do it.  He really doesn't listen too well, and he's color blind.  As far as how I look, I trust my own judgement way more than his.  A look in the mirror tells me whatever I want to know.

Joyce

I don't like the question "Do I look fat in this?" because even though I honor my BFs opinion...I wouldn't trust his answer.I believe in my lil twisted mind that he has to say no. Whether it's the truth or not. I usually ask, Do I look okay in this? If I wanted to know if I looked fat in something, I'd ask my sisters. They'll give me an honest opinion, whether I want one or not. And besides, if I felt like I looked fat in something, I'd change. []

DH and I have been together since we were 12... of course it started out as friends then BUT we have a friendship stronger than anything I think.  He will be honest with me and I always ask him if I look fat in things.  I always ask if I look okay in things... which of two pairs of shoes are better, is my hair better up or down... all of that.  He always answers... he does got annoyed when I ask him and then go with the other of what he said - he says "why do you ask if it doesnt matter what I say" 
 
It does matter, but theres a point where men just dont understand fashion all that well and while I generally listen to him, there are times when I totally disagree.  So, yes, I can admit at times Im just looking for confirmation that what I have chosen looks good... and no I dont have any girlfriends to do that for me.
 
I think I look fat in everything... I do unfortunatly compare myself to the skinny models and I generally feel like sh*t about myself.  I have always struggled with issues regarding my appearance.... just never good enough... never a day when I not thinking about if I look crappy or not... never a time when I sit am I not thinking of what little roll may have formed... that kind of crap.  I hate it yet I cant stop.
 
I am 5'7 and weigh 132... I wear anywhere from a size 6 to a 10 but I have never shopped in the womens department... always juniors.  I have no idea of my size in womens clothing.
 
Angel - you are by far IMO skinny enough to be wearing a two piece and not covering up... I just personally feel that boy short cuts are not as flattering to our hips as the skirted kind... so maybe try that and see if you like it better.  My mom would NOT wear a bikini... but I did get her to wear the skirt kind.  She has some with a regular top and some with the tankini top... but she doesnt need that.
 
Im just way harder on myself than I know I should be and I feel like crap if Im not the skinniest person there... heck I still feel like crap if I am.
 
Interesting question Billy... but yes I definatly want the truth.
 
To add one more thing... if I do ask and want the truth and can tell they are lying, I think thats worse.  And I agree with what was said above sometimes they are just fishing for a compliment and then things could get ugly if you answer wrong... then again if you are fat and fishing for a compliment thats the wrong way to go about it IMO.

IMO, your weights, I would consider you thin, 5'7 132, 5'10 140 pounds, size 10, 8.........Too me, that is thin.  I'm 5"6, I was married to a man that thought I was fat at 130, and I bought into it! 
 
I remember once, ten years ago "Do these pants make my butt look fat" Frank said 'Uhm, dear, it's not the pants, it's your A**............... I never asked again

I am 5"5' and I wear a size 6 or "small" in most everything, and I will ask my husband if I look fat in an outfit.  I never get upset at the answer, and he knows by "fat" that I mean "does my stomach poof out a bit in this type of outfit?" or "does this cause any portion of my anatomy to look out of proportion?"  I don't actually think that I am "fat" as in overweight for my frame and height. Why do I ask him? Because sometimes I don't have access to a full-length mirror, and because of my favorite quotation "How do you know you're deceived? You don't, 'cause you're deceived." Our eyes play tricks on us sometimes, so I just confirm with him if I'm unsure. Why don't I ask a girlfriend? 'Cause I don't generally have one in the bedroom with me at 6 a.m. before work. []

I have stopped asking his opinion on which shoes I should wear, though, as his answer is usually, "I have one pair of dress shoes, two casual pairs, and a set of sneakers. Are you really asking me which of your 25 pairs of red shoes go best with that particular shade shirt?" [8|] Yeah, I guess that is a stupid question. LOL

ORIGINAL: cakana

Most times I ask my DH how something looks, I end up regretting it. He's not like many husbands who say "sure, that looks fine".  He takes the role very seriously, so I get things like "are they supposed to be that short?"...me - "yes, they're capris"..him -"ooohhhh, well I guess they're okay.  Are you going to wear those sandals?"...me -"yes, I bought them to go with the outfit"...him "ooohhh, well, do you have other sandals you could wear?"  Anyway, it's too much work and I've just learned to trust my own opinion.  Having a girlfriend to ask is always a better choice when you're just not sure.

LOL! Yeah, I get that, too, except for the shoe part. He gets really flummoxed when it comes to shoes. [8D]  DH nd I actually like clothes shopping together. He gets to pick out clothes that HE likes best on me, and since I enjoy having him look at me "that way" his opinion is the one that counts.  He'll go around the store and bring me clothes to try on.  He has no true fashion sense, so I do get veto power. [] But a lot of times, he'll find really neat clothes that I would never have picked out myself. Interestingly, he rarely chooses the super-short, skimpy, tight, revealing clothes.  Best part is, I end up getting to spend lots more on clothes than if I were by myself or with a girlfriend. I always feel guilty spending so much on myself, but with him there it's him spending on me. (Which is goofy, 'cause it's all our money. [8|])

I agree, I know Im not fat but that doesnt mean I dont feel crappy when I compare myself to some perfect looking person in a magazine. 
 
DH and I do that same, he loves to pick out clothes for me while we are shopping and always stands by the dressing room to give commentary on each piece... []

I don't ask "do I look fat in this," but I do ask, "does this look like crap" when I don't like something. If I did ask "do I look fat in this," I really would want to know, although I'm sure I'd already think that I did if I brought it up anyway.

I don't ever ask if I look "fat" in something but like many other women I will ask if something looks OK.  DH and I have never had a fight about it and I respect his opinion but I expect him to tell me how I reallly look.  I also don't want him to tell me I am fat...I already know if I am overweight and don't need his input...just if something is flattering or not.  I sometimes will wear a form fitting shirt.  I want to know though if my bra is creating flab on my back or if you can see my thong hanging out of my jeans.  As Jenn said, our eyes can deceive us.  I am 5'5'', 145-150 lbs and wear b/w an 8 and a 10.  I also shop in the juniors section mostly and always wear a large and sometimes and XL in tops b/c I have big boobs and broad shoulders.  I don't feel like I am that fat but a little overweight.  I also lift weights and have a little muscle mass so feel fat b/c of what the scale might say but I am really in proportion.  I would much prefer to wear clothes that fit and go a size up than clothes that are too tight and stay in a smaller size...I learned a long time ago that this is when I feel the fattest..in clothes that are too small! 
 
So in answer to your question, if I ask how I look tell me the truth...but if for some strange reason I do ask if I look "fat", run for your life and don't answer me b/c I already know how I feel and might be setting you up for a fight!  []  Just kidding.....sort of!

I think that once you believe you look bad, it never goes away....

I lost 50 pounds in highschool, and still think I'm fat. I still pick up 12s, thinking they're going to fit (I'm 5'3'', with a tiny frame.... I normally wear a 2, or a 0). I've been at a healthy, appropriate weight for over 5 years, now.

I'll still never ask if I look fat in something, LOL. I'll ask whoever is in the room how it looks, or if it matches (I'm bad about wearing mismatched clothes.... It looks fine to me!), or if my shoes "go". I do want to hear if I look like I just rolled out of the bed, or something[]

That friend was Lee, U. S. Navy SEAL, Da Nang, Viet Nam, 1964 -1969. His wife never asked that question, to my knowledge, but she isn't one for much vanity, anyway. But true, 4 1/2 years "in country" makes you different than a lot of people. There was nothing he couldn't do and nothing he was afraid of, though he did develop claustrophobia from his experience. Crawling into VC tunnels, planting C4 and detonators, crawling back out, getting about 600 yards away and waiting for the tunnels to fill up with VC, with the chance of being caught, tortured, and killed at any moment. So, after a while in civilian life, he found he didn't care for tight cramped spaces under structures. But he never feared another human. What could they do? Kill him? Sorry, better shots and fighters then they have tried and didn't succeed.

I agree, I know Im not fat but that doesnt mean I dont feel crappy when I compare myself to some perfect looking person in a magazine. 

 
You do realize that these "perfect looking" people have professional make up artists, personal trainers and cooks, drugs (a la Kate Moss), things like colonics (a super-cleansing 3-day enema), not to mention photoshop to make themselves look the way they do. 
 
Try not to compare - you will never live up to the illusion these people create.

ORIGINAL: miranadobe

I'm not stupid enough to ask my SO/BF if I look "fat" in something.  I usually know if I look fat in it and I'm not going to call his attention to it!!  If I want that opinion about fit or something, I will ask my sister or friends who will give the HONEST opinion I want without risk of me feeling hurt by the answer. 

In other words, if I'm asking someone, I really want to know the truth.  But my friend's assessment of my appearance has no bearing on our relationship.  He/she will not lose interest in our friendship if I get fat.  However, in a romantic relationship, my appearance and attractiveness DO factor into the relationship.  So, if he said, "yeah, you look fat" (which we all are communicating fat = bad), then I may think my b/f thinks I look bad/not attractive.  How about the times I don't ask him? Does he think I look bad then, too?

I think the women who ask their SO if they look fat and get upset with the honest answer either-
-Don't have a friend close enough who will give an honest answer
-Want their husband to give them a compliment, but their question to solicit it is a loaded one.  They are the "Tester" kind who want their BF/SO to confirm everyday how attracted they are to her.
- OR, it's the women who secretly believe they're fat and sadly are beating themselves up over it, and use someone else's comments as yet another whip to beat themselves with.

 
I don't mean to be crass, but if he sees you naked, he already knows if you are fat or not, and if it bothers him or not.  Men are exremely visual creatures.  I assure you that he knows your body (looks wise) better than you do.
 
As to your bullet points, I disagree--
-I do, but I don't have them sitting there with me while I get dressed (unless you count the dog), and the only people I get any real clothes shopping done with is DH or my mother.
 
-My husband tends to randomly compliment me frequently, I don't need to fish for one.
 
-I know I am overweight, and am working on it, but I want to know how I look in something from another person's point of view.  I have recently started wearing different clothes than I used to, so the same rules that I used to judge myself on no longer apply.

The question was "do I LOOK fat in this"... ie, clothes can mask things and create illusions.  Outside of clothes, yes, the fat shows if it's there.  You know it and he knows it.  However, there are plenty of things that hide this roll or that chunk or cellulite or whatever.  To me, asking if you "look fat in this" is asking - did I do a good enough job hiding it?
 
My bullet points were to those people who are upset by the honest answer and punish their husbands/SO's for giving it.  (You asked, you got it, so why beat him up?)  Your responses imply that you don't get upset by the honest answers from your husband, so I don't see where the disagreement is, since they don't seem to apply to you.
As always, it's just what I think. 

I guess that's what I get for not reading posts carefully, huh? []