Dog Community

Posted : 8/14/2007 8:44:43 AM

Some of us have developed this to the level of an art form. I used to be able to have an actual conversation with my ex and not have a clue what she said. It was as if I would process her words long enough to formulate an answer, then immediately erase them from memory. It was beautiful. Just recalling it brings a tear to my eye.

You and my dh must have gone to the same school to learn that trick Billy.[

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The good news for me is that I actually can tell when he isn#%92t really “hearing” what I am saying, so I will just start talking total nonsense, OR better yet, start talking dirty to him and it pulls him out of his little trance. It is AMAZING what power specific words have on a man. LOL!

g33

Posted : 8/14/2007 8:53:02 AM

Never mind. Thanks for listening, I appreciate the advice.

probe1957

Posted : 8/14/2007 8:55:13 AM

We are rather simple creatures, aren't we, Shelly? I do hope you're proud of yourself for taking advantage of that. [

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jjsmom06

Posted : 8/14/2007 9:03:01 AM

We are rather simple creatures, aren't we, Shelly? I do hope you're proud of yourself for taking advantage of that.

I am very proud actually Billy.. I use all the tools in my "tool box" to my advantage. [

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probe1957

Posted : 8/14/2007 9:03:39 AM

Wow Gina. I didn't see anyone brow beating you. What I saw is people offering their opinions and advice. I will say, if you come across to your husband the way you came across in THIS post, I don't blame him for tuning you out.

jjsmom06

Posted : 8/14/2007 9:08:12 AM

ORIGINAL: probe1957

Wow Gina. I didn't see anyone brow beating you. What I saw is people offering their opinions and advice. I will say, if you come across to your husband the way you came across in THIS post, I don't blame him for tuning you out.

Save it Billy.. she retracted her previous comments I got in my email notification too.. so I deleted my response. [8|]

Chuffy

Posted : 8/14/2007 9:12:18 AM

ORIGINAL: probe1957

ORIGINAL: Chuffy
I estimate that most guys shut out the noise after about three sentences.

Some of us have developed this to the level of an art form. I used to be able to have an actual conversation with my ex and not have a clue what she said. It was as if I would process her words long enough to formulate an answer, then immediately erase them from memory. It was beautiful. Just recalling it brings a tear to my eye. []

My dh can parallel process. He can be thinking about something entirely different while i waffle and yet some part of his brain is picking up pertinent bits of information anbd processing it, enabling him to make all the right noises in all the right places and even answer surprise questions. I am also developing this skill. I believe it is key to a happy marriage!

Edit: Just the word "nipples" dropped casually into my monologue does the trick if i need his full attention.

g33

Posted : 8/14/2007 9:25:30 AM

ORIGINAL: jjsmom06

ORIGINAL: probe1957

Wow Gina. I didn't see anyone brow beating you. What I saw is people offering their opinions and advice. I will say, if you come across to your husband the way you came across in THIS post, I don't blame him for tuning you out.

Save it Billy.. she retracted her previous comments I got in my email notification too.. so I deleted my response. [8|]

Wow, thanks for your tremendous compassion over a really painful situation for me.

jjsmom06

Posted : 8/14/2007 9:34:07 AM

TBH here Gina, I was not only shocked over your comments but hurt that you would make such statements about others who were only trying to offer advice and suggestion, so I apologize if my words came out harsh, but they were a reflection of my feelings and frustrations at the time I read your initial post.

I DO wish you and your family the best and hope that you all can get things sorted out in the future.

g33

Posted : 8/14/2007 10:00:34 AM

I made no such comments attacking anyone who offered advice in this thread. I thanked people numerous times. I stated that I wasn't up for a browbeating because I felt I'd gotten enough of that from the convo I had with my husband. I had also stated that no one here did that and I knew none of that was intended. I am in a hurting place and needed some gentle words and compassion. When it became clear that wasn't available I just chose to delete the comments.

probe1957

Posted : 8/14/2007 10:05:09 AM

ORIGINAL: Chuffy
Edit: Just the word "nipples" dropped casually into my monologue does the trick if i need his full attention.

So you too are not above taking advantage of our simple minds. [

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rwbeagles

Posted : 8/14/2007 10:07:38 AM

I am in a hurting place and needed some gentle words and compassion. When it became clear that wasn't available I just chose to delete the comments.

Gina, I understand why you removed your comments...but I also know that this forum of late hasn't proven the best place to air things of a personal nature and expect only one type of reply. In fact I am pretty sure that you more than most, know that to be the case.

I think much good input was given and I think that stands on it's own, and perhaps someone else can also benefit from the viewpoints shared here.

ETA: Good luck to you and I hope you can find a way to feel better about the whole anniversary situation.

espencer

Posted : 8/14/2007 10:21:06 AM

Awww does that mean i cant comment on the issue anymore? [

] I was on Gina's side [8D]

g33

Posted : 8/14/2007 10:29:26 AM

ORIGINAL: rwbeagles

I am in a hurting place and needed some gentle words and compassion. When it became clear that wasn't available I just chose to delete the comments.

Gina, I understand why you removed your comments...but I also know that this forum of late hasn't proven the best place to air things of a personal nature and expect only one type of reply. In fact I am pretty sure that you more than most, know that to be the case.

I think much good input was given and I think that stands on it's own, and perhaps someone else can also benefit from the viewpoints shared here.

ETA: Good luck to you and I hope you can find a way to feel better about the whole anniversary situation.

Thanks Gina. I agree that good input and advice was given. I just had a hard time with some of the edgier commentary this morning. Thanks again to all who contributed.

espencer

Posted : 8/14/2007 10:39:04 AM

Ok screw it, i will comment anyways [

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I think DH was selfish, for example, i could care less if my wife and i celebrate my birthday, i was never a "big birthday celebration guy" BUT my wife is, just because i dont care to celebrate my birthday does that mean that i should treat her birthday the same way? of course not

Now even more when you get married, if my wife thinks that her birthday is a big deal then it would be really selfish from me to be like "well it is not for me", that goes too with anniversaries and special dates

Now i know Gina cant expect the DH to act totally the opposite of what he is and bring Mariachis and everything but at least he should show some consideration and acknowledge how excited Gina was

Thats the key word: acknowledge the other person's feelings

NM