NM

I think DH was selfish, for example, i could care less if my wife and i celebrate my birthday, i was never a "big birthday celebration guy" BUT my wife is, just because i dont care to celebrate my birthday does that mean that i should treat her birthday the same way? of course not

Now even more when you get married, if my wife thinks that her birthday is a big deal then it would be really selfish from me to be like "well it is not for me", that goes too with anniversaries and special dates

 
[sm=wink2.gif] - Good for you and your wife's a lucky lady.  I think that's great and I'm betting the appreciation you get in return will make it very worthwhile.  Most women I know are quite satisfied even with something small but meaningful.  I love flowers and so a card and some flowers are enough to bring a huge smile to my face. 
 
Gina - I'm really sorry if anything I said upset you and I hope that today is a better day for you []

ORIGINAL: espencer

Ok screw it, i will comment anyways []

I think DH was selfish, for example, i could care less if my wife and i celebrate my birthday, i was never a "big birthday celebration guy" BUT my wife is, just because i dont care to celebrate my birthday does that mean that i should treat her birthday the same way? of course not

Now even more when you get married, if my wife thinks that her birthday is a big deal then it would be really selfish from me to be like "well it is not for me", that goes too with anniversaries and special dates

Now i know Gina cant expect the DH to act totally the opposite of what he is and bring Mariachis and everything but  at least he should show some consideration and acknowledge how excited Gina was

Thats the key word: acknowledge the other person's feelings

Wow, I don't think I've ever agreed with anything that you have ever said more than I do that post.[sm=bravo.gif]

ORIGINAL: espencer

Ok screw it, i will comment anyways []

I think DH was selfish, for example, i could care less if my wife and i celebrate my birthday, i was never a "big birthday celebration guy" BUT my wife is, just because i dont care to celebrate my birthday does that mean that i should treat her birthday the same way? of course not

Now even more when you get married, if my wife thinks that her birthday is a big deal then it would be really selfish from me to be like "well it is not for me", that goes too with anniversaries and special dates

Now i know Gina cant expect the DH to act totally the opposite of what he is and bring Mariachis and everything but  at least he should show some consideration and acknowledge how excited Gina was

Thats the key word: acknowledge the other person's feelings

 
DING DING DING!  Espencer gets it.  Thank you for understanding what I was so hurt about.
 
I wasn't looking for diamonds and flowers and adoration.  If he didn't want to open my gift first thing in the morning, he could have still taken the time to acknowledge that he understood my excitement and that he wanted to open them at another time.  There was still room for a loving response even if he didn't comply with my request. 

Thanks for your opinions about my post []

Once you get married is all about thinking first "how my choices will affect my partner?" before thinking "how my choices will affect me?" []

I think that's great and I'm betting the appreciation you get in return will make it very worthwhile.

 
Hur hur hur.  Mind out of the gutter, mind out of the gutter...
 
Ahem, anyways,  espence thats a great post.  But but but, if Mr Gina KNEW how Gina felt but didn't acknowledge it, that would be callous.  I'm thinking perhaps he just didn;t "get" how important it was for her.  I honestly think alot of men jsut dont see it and if they did, of course they would buck up and make more of an effort. 
 
Maybe, for them, watching a game with us considering their feelings enough not to talk outside the commercials is pretty darn important too.  Maybe if I realy "got" how important that was to him I'd shut the heck up.
 
But I don't really "get" that it is a huge deal.  Its JUST a game.  Sheesh.  Ah.... but.... an anniversary or bday isn;t life or death either.  It's JUST a date on the calendar.... See?  We're on different planets here.
 
Well, I'm not.  I don't really see the big deal about dates either.  That's one area where my fellow women puzzle me a little.  (The only time I make a real effort is kid's birthdays, 1) because I know how most kids get so excited about their birthday and now also: 2) I want people to remember Williams!) 
 
Gina, I'm trying to remember how you described your anniversary.... you said "he made a meal and that was nice" or something.  What I'm trying to get at is that there were some things that weren't a total loss about your day and try to focus on those to help you feel less sad. 
 
Also, (as this is a dog forum) we all know the best way to train a dog: Concentrate on what he gets RIGHT, not on what he gets wrong.  I'll clue you in on a secret here: *whispers* Men are just the same!  You should have JACKPOTTED him for that meal instead of focussing what he DIDN'T do.  (Best not to ask WHAT the jackpot is, thats up to yr descretion.... whatever motivates him best [])
 
Just my thoughts with hindsight.  I'm sure things will improve as you get to know each other better!