Multiple vs. only children

ORIGINAL: rwbeagles
  Many things go into making a person who they are...and I believe your birth order does play a large role in how you relate to others....but that's simply a personal belief.

i am of the same belief.. just from my own personal experience lol
i think from my situation i have become more adaptable to changes and getting along with people that others cant stand to be around.
my youngest sister was spoiled beyond rotten, but when my step mom adopted a baby within the family my little sister almost died of jealousy. she was almost "resource guarding" all of her old toys, things she was too old to play with, never touched anymore, didnt care about.. my other sister, the middle child, was like a ghost. she didnt encourage her new little brother to play with her things, but she also didnt stop him. they would BOTH wait for him to break something of theirs and then go screaming to tattle on him....
my husband is the oldest of three brothers and couldnt stand his middle brother. he was always in competition with his older bro. if he went anywhere he HAD to bring his brother along or he couldnt go at all. he got along better with the youngest brother but only because there were a few more years between them. he was too young to "hang out with the guys", still played with match box cars, and all that stuff.

if it wasnt for my sister(middle) i would say that based on my brother inlaws the middle child tends to seek out more attention. the oldest gets all the new stuff, gets to have more privilages, go places without the parents etc.
my mom would argue with that because she was the oldest and her clothes were handmedowns from older cousins, or came from goodwill. her parents were also over the top strict.... if a friend was having a birthday party none of the girls could go because "there might be boys there" ... we're talking about ten year olds in the early 60's.... heaven forbid anyone see their ankles [8|]
i also had a friend from Scotland that hated being the only child. absolutely loathed his parents for only having one kid because he didnt like all the attention and responcibility to be the big achiever of his parents dreams.

and i have YET to meet a youngest born that didnt like their birth order lol

My brother is 5 1/2 years older than me and we never got along when we were younger.  He quite resented the fact that I ever came along -- so perhaps HE often wished he were an only child, but I can't say that the thought ever crossed my mind.  We fought constantly and never got along.  Mostly he wanted nothing to do with me and I wanted attention from him.  Oddly enough we get along great as adults.  It's his wife that I wish would go away.....
 
I had two (female) cousins live across the street from me my entire childhood, and I suppose that was similar to growing up with sisters.  The older one is two years older than me and the younger is only nine months younger than me.  We spent our summers playing together and riding our bikes around everywhere.

and i have YET to meet a youngest born that didnt like their birth order lol

[] I actually hated it when I was younger. I always wanted a younger sibling to catch some of the crap I got. And some days I still wish there was someone younger than me so I don't have to be the last one to leave my Mom, but since the oldest two have yet to really grow up, I'm not sure she'll ever have an "empty nest" for long. One of them lives with us now, and the other just moved out a few weeks ago.

It's funny though, I always say that my sisters had totally different parents then me. They might as well have. Plus they were all born within 4 years of each other. They had the typical stable life. Stay-at-home Mom, Dad who worked 9-5. They all went to Catholic school. Mom cooked and cleaned, Dad played with the kids. That 1950's kind of family. But then our parents split up when I was 4, so Mom worked, and Dad lived an hour away, we saw him every other weekend. I was sort of a community kid, raised by my Mom, sisters, maternal Grandmom, my Dad once in a while, and whoever else was around. The second oldest was naturally very bossy, and kind of kept house for us, so in a lot of ways I think she was sort of a second mom to me (though my Mom totally resented that for whatever reason, and they barely got along).

I definitely missed out on Dad-time that my sisters got. He was hardly around after my Mom and he split up, and I haven't seen him at all since I was 9. I probably was spoiled, but not by my Mom til I was much older and the other three were adults (or close to it). My sisters spoiled me, at least the oldest two. I think they were trying to somehow make up for absent Dad and working Mom with toys.

I also missed out on forming my own personality from scratch, lol. I'm this very messy mixture of my Mom and sisters, with a couple new traits thrown in (maybe from my Dad? I don't remember him well enough to be sure).

Birth order's a funny thing. I definitely think it has a huge impact on you, that's why I started this thread. When I meet people, I often ask about their birth order. I really think you can tell a lot about a person from it.

My sisters are all pretty typical. The oldest two are so close in age (14 months) that they're both kind of the oldest. Very typical "first-borns" in different ways. Suzi's the actual oldest, and she definitely has the spotlight-syndrome. Everything is about Suzi, all the time. Sarah's 14 months younger, and is the typical bossy, aggressive, competitive, controlling oldest. Colleen's next, and she is your textbook middle child. Very insecure, and I know she felt very insignificant growing up.

I think I'm probably typical youngest in a lot of ways, but I'm definitely less selfish than my sisters. I'm really not sure how that happened. Maybe because I didn't HAVE to share, I want to? That probably makes no sense.. I definitely do have a bit of the youngest-child arrogance though. I think that if everyone doesn't already love me, they ought to. []

ORIGINAL: DumDog
and i have YET to meet a youngest born that didnt like their birth order lol

 
let me introduce you to my sister one day []

ORIGINAL: DumDog
and i have YET to meet a youngest born that didnt like their birth order lol

I would NOT want to be the first born. Too much pressure for me but that probably comes from having the middle-child personality LOL. I always felt a little sorry for our first child. I think we did a lot of 'practice' parenting on him. We learned from our mistakes, which made it a lot easier for his brothers.

I am the first born, and have a brother who is 8 years younger than me. I wouldn't have it any other way. We got along famously....sounds like we're some of the lucky few! [] I spent 8 years as an only child, and while it was nice having the parents all to myself, I much more enjoyed having my brother as well!
 
I think due to our large age difference, we were spared a lot of the closer-aged bickering I hear so much about. My brother and I really enjoyed each other's company growing up....and still do! []

That's cuz y'all are opp sex [] 
Same sex siblings that like what you like, use your same toys, wear your handmedowns, etc...makes for a different experience IMO.

ORIGINAL: rwbeagles

That's cuz y'all are opp sex [] 
Same sex siblings that like what you like, use your same toys, wear your handmedowns, etc...makes for a different experience IMO.

 
pffft!!! i envy my sister for the handmedowns she STILL gets from me. her wardrobe is about 15 times the size of mine...and i can never find good clothes..[8|]

I am the youngest.  I have two older sisters and an older brother, we are all two years apart.  I couldn't imagine how my mom and dad did it when at one time they had a 12, 14, 16 and 18 year olds in the house (plus my brothers friend).  Man, they are definitely going to heaven for not killing us.  []
 
All of my siblings are adopted.  My parents didn't think they could have children for many many years and then finally my mom had me.  I never wished to be an only child.  In fact I grew up scared that my siblings would leave.  I had a grown cousin that was adopted and found his birth mother and left his family to move in with her.  I overheard my mom talking about it one day and from that moment on I was so scared my family would leave me.
 
My mom and I are very close, which I think is a product of me being exactly like my dad.  I talked to my mom several times a day and I can't imagine my world without her.  She was always the mother role when I was growing up and now she is by far (minus DH of course) my very best and dearest friend.  I can only hope that Riley and I are as close as my mom and I are.  It is a relationship that I wouldn't change for anything in the world. 

I just wanted to add one huge downside of not being the first born child.  No pictures!  No scrapbook!  No saved nothin'!  There's a ton of pics of my brother, and even lots of pictures of him and my sister, but by the time I came along, they'd grown bored with the 1st smile, 1st step, etc. []

I just wanted to add one huge downside of not being the first born child. No pictures! No scrapbook! No saved nothin'! There's a ton of pics of my brother, and even lots of pictures of him and my sister, but by the time I came along, they'd grown bored with the 1st smile, 1st step, etc.

 
With things like this, I think I'm lucky being so much younger than my sisters. There are a lot of pictures of me, a video of my first steps.. The girls were so old by the time I came along that a baby was a totally novel thing again. My Mom has two sisters and a brother, and her brother has always been kind of off doing his own thing, but my Mom and her sisters were really close, and so all their kids were really close too. I'm the youngest of their kids (all four of my uncle's kids are younger than me, but like I said, they've always been kind of separate), so I was also doted on by my aunts and all those cousins as well, so there's a huge number of pictures of my childhood floating around. Ahh, it's nice to be the favorite. []
 
There are zero only-children in my Mom's whole family. My grandmother was one of 10 kids. She had 4 kids. Her kids had 2, 4, 3 and 4. None of them married only children, nor have any of the grandkids. Only two of my generation have bred yet, and both those kids are singletons at the moment, but my cousin's pregnant, and my sister wants at least three kids. It seems we shall single-handedly over-populate the planet. []

ORIGINAL: rwbeagles

That's cuz y'all are opp sex [] 
Same sex siblings that like what you like, use your same toys, wear your handmedowns, etc...makes for a different experience IMO.

 
You're totally right!

I just wanted to add one huge downside of not being the first born child. No pictures! No scrapbook! No saved nothin'! There's a ton of pics of my brother, and even lots of pictures of him and my sister, but by the time I came along, they'd grown bored with the 1st smile, 1st step, etc.

 
Yep.  How you do think I feel.  My mom has tens of photo albums of foster children she took care of - she doesn't even know where these kids are now.  By the time it came down to me, there are 5 pictures total...lol

Do you have siblings, or are you an only child? If you have siblings, have you ever wished you were an only child? If you're an only child, have you ever wished you had siblings? And if you have siblings, what's your birth order? Have you ever wished it was different? Do you think your relationship with your parents would be different if you did/didn't have siblings?

Only child (I've got two half brothers, of which I am 21 years older than the oldest, we obviously did not grow up together and they reside in another state).
 
Yes, growing up, I did wish I had siblings...not only to play with but grow with.  Luckily, nature became my playground (lots of creative things can be done with trees, sawdust and water) and our animals my playmates.  And, I used to draw all the time.  My parents not being together left me to be my Mum's sidekick and compadre.  That's a lot to bear as I get older...kind of wishing I had help there.
 
I feel that there are pros and cons to being an only child, and do my best to play to my strengths.

I am the middle child of three girls. My older sister is 3 years older than me, my younger sister is 10 years younger. So a lot of space after me. The eldest is the workaholic, straight "A" student, I am the jock and was a good student too, and the youngest is the musician.

We are very different, but very close, and part of that is having been raised in the same turbulent household. I hate that my younger sister is so much younger, because she has to deal with the household stress on her own, where my older sister and I had each other to lean on.

I wouldn't trade either of them for the world, even though we are all as different as night and day.