Multiple vs. only children

I have four other blood related siblings and five step siblings, huge family to say the least. I can't say I ever wanted to be an only child, but at times I wish it was just me and one other sibling. I am the middle child in my family. I think that things would have been a lot different growing up, and I think if it was at least just 3 of us I would of had a better relationship with my parents. But there were just too many of us.  When you have that many kids I think it is alot harder to spend time with each and every child. That and you literally can't go anywhere on vacation unless its camping because the cost is through the roof. In my family there were nine of us (there are more step kids than that now) and it was very frustrating if you weren't the baby child or second youngest. There was always someone that was forgotten when it came to gifts, and stayed that was till we divided with different parents / when we moved out on our own.
Personally I think two kids is perfect, for them and for the parents. I think it teaches kids alot of skills that they might have had a tougher/ longer time learning if they were only child. I think it would establish a strong bond with both parents because each parent could spend alot of time with both kids. Just saying this from my point of view and the way I grew up.

I'm not going to go in depth too much, but for the most part during my childhood I liked being an only and never had strong feelings one way or the other, until...

My mom is an only child and so am I. Her mom died relatively young, so my mom only had to deal with one aging parent but it was hell on her having to go it basically alone when her dad got sick with Alzheimers. Now that my parents are aging and my dad is having health problems I find myself longing for a sibling that could lend help and support. I understand that having a sibling doesn't guarantee that void would be filled, but... Friends and extended family can only understand so much.

There are a bunch of reasons I wouldn't choose to have an only child, but that's a big one.

Only child, loved it, no regrets for me.  My parents were fairly strict (but, used +R LOL), and did not spoil me.  I had plenty of friends, still do, and did not miss the fact that they didn't come home with me at night and pull my pigtails
My only regret is for my mother - that she had to deal with all those ignorant comments all her life.  "Isn't she spoiled?"  "Didn't you want any more?" (No, she didn't - she didn't think she could afford another.)  "You should have another one, dearie, you don't want her to be spoiled."  And, the freakin' battleaxes always said it right in front of me.  My mother did a good job of telling me that I was fine the way I was, but I did wonder for a little while what "spoiled" was, and was I?  Please don't ever do this to your friends who have singletons.
BTW, the parenting style is the biggest thing, not the number of kids! 

I'm the oldest of four girls - I'm older by 4 years, 11 years and 12 years.  I think anyone who has siblings has had days (when they were younger) when they wished they were an only child. [] My sister (4 years younger) and I have often said that if our mom had been sensible enough to stop at two, she would have had two perfect children and none of the grief and headaches. The oldest of the two younger ones still hasn't grown up into a functioning adult.
 
Joyce

I think every kid fantasizes about being an only child. After all, kids beleive that the universe revolves around them - or at least in an ideal world it should. You certainly don't need some other kid horning in on your attention. Although we tend not to appreciate our siblings when we are young, there is something special and unique about siblings that we learn to appreciate as we age.

I was not particularily close to my sisters (x2) growing up. Like most siblings we fought quite a bit. We always thought the other was better treated - and dare I say it, more loved. At the time it seemed like we never got along. Of course looking back we really did. We played together, shared secrets, comforted each other, etc but most of all we made these wonderful memories together that we still delight in. My sisters have been part of my entire life. I have no memory of being without them. To me that is special. We unfortunately lost our mother when she was only 53 and we were in our early twenties. We went on to marry and have our own children. I was, and still am, so grateful that as sisters we were able to in some part fill the void for each other that losing our mother created. Now my father is getting on in years and we will lose him as well one day. Knowing that I will still have those 2 special people, who have been with me forever gives me great comfort.

So for me, having a kid bother or sister is OK, but having an adult sibling is priceless!

EDIT: I was going to correct spelling of the word 'brother', but decided it was a Freudian slip LOL!

deleted - double post????

I never wanted to be an only. I had 3 brothers, I would have liked to have a sister especially the older I got. As an adult I can't imagine not having siblings even though 2 of my 3 brothers have passed away.
My daughter has 2 friends that are only's and they have both commented that they would have liked to have a brother or sister. My 3 kids get along really well, I can see them having good relationships with each other as adults.

My experience only but,
 
My sisters arrived when I was 8 and 13 respectively. So in many ways I was the only child of a single Mother for most of my "small child"hood. I enjoyed being an only BUT that was because my Mom was all I had and sharing her was exceedingly gut wrenchingly difficult....whether with a sibling OR grown man.
 
I had one child and thought that was all I wanted...but then I realized how well, selfish I was as an 8y/o only and I didn't like that. I also didn't want them spaced too far because that also IMO contributed to my and my sisters issues.
 
I think the tightness of my two....tho they're opposite sex is amazing and special...they'll have each other and that will always be so. I am happy I chose to have more than 1!

I'm the oldest of my family.  I'm also the oldest of the grandchildren on my mom's side, and the second-oldest on my dad's.
 
My sister, A, is about a year a half younger than me.  We never got along.  Even when we were younger, she's very much a drama queen and was a spoiled princess until the rest came along.  
 
I was 9 when my brother C came along, and shortly after him followed my sister K, and other brother M.  
 
My dad worked in a factory, and my mom was  nurse who worked night shift.  There were some days when I was in middle/high school that I had to stay home to babysit, because my mom was exhausted. 
 
I had a lot of pressure, being the oldest and therefore supposed to be the most responsible.  I had to get straight A's, no exception.  I had to have a job, and work for what I wanted (looking back, I'm glad my parents made me do it).  My sister A was very upset by the arrival of the three little ones, she was no longer the baby, and hated not getting everything she wants.  She's 19 now, and is still the same way. 
 
My parents got divorced shortly after I turned 16, and I moved in with my dad.  I didn't have to babysit as much, since the kids had started school by that time.  My mom got pregnant retty soon after the divorce, and now I have a half-brother, B.
 
I still really don't get along with A, but I visit with C, K, and M often.  My fiance and I go to my dad's house and play in the ool with them, and they come over sometimes and play video games.  I get along with them really well.
 
I don't see B very much, he's 5 now, but my mom works crazy hours (two nursing jobs) and he's always at the babysitter or with his dad.
 
Looking back, I wouldn't trade the last four siblings for anything, they're all great (I would trade A for something, a jetpack or something, []).  However, I do think I had to grow up too fast.  I had a job when I was 12.  I had to take school off to babysit.  I couldn't have sleepovers, and I couldn't stay at friend's houses very much (because I had to babysit). 
 
I was kicked out when I was 19, because my dad wanted to kick out A, and he couldn't justify kicking her out if he didn't kick me out too.  It was really hard for me, trying to find a place to live with a dog and two cats, that was actually affordable. 
 
I'm very pleased with my life now, I had to work really hard, but I've got a wonderful fiance, a nice house, great pets and a pretty good job.  If I never had siblings, I can't imagine my life would have been any better.  [] 

I grew up on a farm 7 miles from the nearest town which only has 187 people. I am so glad I was not the only child. We are each one year apart. Sister, brother, then me. I was a tomboy so I played cops and robbers with my brother and dolls with my sister. We had fights but being the youngest if I was mad at my sister I`d go play with my brother. Mad at my brother go play with my sister. They never played together (why I don`t know)so they both needed me. We also had chores to do around the house. One child verses three I figure my work load went down by 2/3rds.
 
One thing about being a tomboy. My brother and I were out in the field stacking bales with our dad. My mom brought my sister out to help. She stacked ONE bale as my mom took her picture and then they left. Hard to believe I was my moms favorite. Or I thought that I was. ??????
 
Being a not only child is nice at holiday time also. I say the more the merrier.
 
I have two children. Boy and a girl 3 years apart. The perfect family for me. They are each others best friend to this day.

I am an only child. It had its negatives - my parents were super strict since I was their one and only, and as a child, I really wanted a sibling. My mother miscarried five times after giving birth to me, so she did want to have more children but was unable to. They rest alot of their hopes and dreams on me (again since I'm the only one), so it does create a bit of pressure.

On the other hand, I have been given experiences that I never would have been able to have experienced if I had siblings. I was able to get a dog, take up horse back riding (and eventually buy a horse), go to a private high school, get a new car, and have my college paid for because I was the only child. Much of this would not have happened if I had siblings.

I really wouldn't have it any other way and I'm happy with the way things turned out. Although I do think having siblings would have taught me to share better - to this day (I'm 22 now), I am still horribly possessive.

ORIGINAL: sooner

I'm not going to go in depth too much, but for the most part during my childhood I liked being an only and never had strong feelings one way or the other, until...

My mom is an only child and so am I. Her mom died relatively young, so my mom only had to deal with one aging parent but it was hell on her having to go it basically alone when her dad got sick with Alzheimers. Now that my parents are aging and my dad is having health problems I find myself longing for a sibling that could lend help and support. I understand that having a sibling doesn't guarantee that void would be filled, but... Friends and extended family can only understand so much.

There are a bunch of reasons I wouldn't choose to have an only child, but that's a big one.

Kelly- I feel very much like you do.

I am an only child as my mother had 4 miscarriages prior to getting pregnant with me and it was very touch and go with me including being almost 2 months premature.. so mom never tried again after successfully having one child.

  As a kid,  I DID long for a sibling.. mostly to have someone to play with but in a lot of ways I think that I was fortunate to grow up solo as it taught me to have a lot more independence, to use my imagination more, instead of relying on others to provide entertainment and in the end my parents were able to take me traveling and doing a lot of things that children never get to do in multiple children in a families.

  All that said.. the older I get, the more I wish I had a sibling to at least discuss some of my families health issues with. Having a mom that is legally blind and disabled due to 50+ years of being a diabetic, it sometimes feels like so much falls on my shoulders. Just to even have a sibling to discuss your concerns with, even if they lived across the country,  is something I really do desire.  My mother was an only child as well and my stepfather might as well be an only child so there really is no one to care for them or make family decisions for them except for me.   

ETA- and like stormyknight, my parents were SUPER, SUPER STRICT!  I always hated that and don't think they would have been the same if I had siblings...

I'm the youngest of 3 (sister was 5 yrs older and brother 8 yrs older).  I wouldn't change a single thing. I felt totally spoiled and doted on by my brother and sister and had a very close relationship with both them.  I shared a bedroom with my sister for several years and was just in awe of her.  Sadly, things turned south for her in her 30s and we completely lost touch and she has recently passed away from drug use.  My brother and I are still close though. I realized when my dad was ill and eventually passed away that having him to lean on was such a blessing.

I have 2 brothers, & I'm the middle child.  I wouldn't trade it for anything!  My older brother always looked out for me, & though I didn't realize it then, he had my best interests at heart.  My younger brother has always kept me entertained.  He'll do almost anything to make me laugh.  Though they both irritate me, from time to time, I can't imagine my life without either of them.