Parent issues..how to deal

I'm not sure I'm clear on why your dog(s) are an issue for your parents. Can you clarify for me?? Do you live with them? If not, are they responsible for you at this point in your life? More info please!

Edit to add: I am sorry that things are so heated right now. Sending you a big hug anyway.

Nope don't live with them, I havent in over 4 years. They are not financially responsible for me in any way. I have a good stable job, pay my own rent, bills etc etc. 
 
I think they are upset because of how things ended up with Romeo and us having to give him away. That's all I can think of.
 
Oh, they are helping with about 50% of the cost of the wedding but I wouldnt think that would be an issue. Could it?

It sounds like there is something underlying, not the dog that is the issue.  Are you able to communicate with them.  I would ask them what the real reason is that they are upset.  Maybe it has nothing to do with your dog.  I am a parent of a 22 year old and I try to respect her decisions, she still lives at home, but I think everyone makes mistakes and if it is about your other dog, I wouldn't worry about it they'll get over it.  I have made my share of mistakes including getting a dog that didn't fit in with my family.  Keep your chin up and the lines of communication open.

I don't know the Romeo story (sounds like others don't either). I'm sure you probably posted about it before, but could you tell us why you had to give him away? Thanks.

Romeo was a puppy we had gotten last May. To try to summarize he had seperation anxiety we had him on meds for it and he would literally cry for 5 hours straight. Our neighbours in our apartment building complained and we were told to get rid of the dog or move. We knew deep down that Romeo wasnt going to fit with us and we had to find him a new home. However, during that process my parents had to watch Romeo for two weeks until the new owners could come and pick him up.
 
Not sure if it's a reason but I know my mother had a serious fight with my sister yesterday so she might still be upset about that one.
 
She keeps commenting on the financial issues of owning a dog, however I don't see how that is an issue seeing as I haven't asked my parents for money in years. They kindly offered to pay for half of the wedding, which of course I appreciate more than anything and have expressed that numerouse times.

Well of course nobody here can be 100% certain why your parents are upset. But parents worry...it's their job! They could be worried that you should be saving the money you're spending on your new dog for future needs. They could be worried this dog may cause you problems like Romeo did (and they also don't want it affecting THEIR lives again). Obviously they just disagree with you on the decision to get a dog. They think you are making a mistake for some reason and they're angry that you're making it (in their opinion) b/c they think it will affect your life negatively in some way (or their life). It's hard for parents to just let go and let their kids make their own decisions, and deal with the consequences. Maybe you should try to talk with your mom about it (not argue, not confront, but just discuss in a calm manner). Don't guess at or make assumptions about why she's angry...ask her. Good luck!

[sm=peace.gif]

Your parents sound a lot like mine.
 
I would bet that they we terribly pleased with the situation with the first dog, and to some degree hold you responsible for all that it occurred.  (Whether it was your fault or not).
 
Now you have gotten another, and they can see the same thing happening, and right during a time when you are getting married and will be moving.
 
I can hear my parents now......
 
 "Can you believe he got another dog after last time.  You know who's going to be taking care of that damn dog during the wedding, and honeymoon, and then I am sure we'll be taking care of it during the move.  Just what we need.  Something else to worry about.  Just what he needs, another expense during all of this stuff.  I am not going out dinner with him tonight.  He needs to learn to make more responsible decisions.  Why couldn't he just wait a year and get a dog then....."
 
I am not saying this what went on with YOUR parents.  This would have been my parents response.

mrgmfoster- Do we have the same parents or what! lol.  Your response as to what your parents would have said is pretty similar to what I know my parents are thinking.
 
My parents were not happy when I got Harley (2.5 years ago) but now they love him to bits.
 
Funny thing though is that my parents keep forgetting that my sister will be moving in with my fiancee and I once the condo is ready. So she will be watching the dogs during the wedding.
 
Oh well this situation can't get worse. I asked them again to come over for dinner and they said no. I can't do anything about that, I just hope that this will all cool down by the weekend.
 
Thanks again for everyones responses.

I always handle these situations so maturely and give them the cold shoulder back.  It is like some kind of weird reverse psychology.  They can't stand it.  The next thing you know they are taking me out to dinner.
 
I'm sure things will be fine.

Ah, I see. You know, I have parental units that on occasion insist on acting like children. When they do this, I just go on about my business. I don't call them, try to make up for whatever it is in their mind I've done wrong, or keep hounding them to make up/come over/whatever. When they're ready to act like adults we sit down and talk it out. Then again, I have certain parental units that never come to that point, so I just wait for the whole deal to blow over... and continue to live my life as I see fit. Then again, I am on the "Bad Child List". It's my list. I made it and I can own it any time I see fit. hehe

My dear, there are only four things in your world that you can completely control. What YOU think, what YOU do, what YOU say, and how YOU feel. You cannot do a whole lot about their snit, and you really have to do what's right for you and yours. When they find themselves dying on that hill all alone, things may change for the better.

When the parental units get all squirrelly on me, I treat them like my dogs. Put that dog in its crate, and just let it cry it out. If you let it out for whining and crying it learns it can whine and cry and get its way. No trying to make it feel better or pampering its hurt.

[]

Further, sometimes with dogs they and we find ourselves in a relationship that just is NOT a good fit. As much as I'm an advocate of being a dog's forever home, sometimes the BEST thing you can do for a dog is let it go. Sometimes we get some bumps and bruises along the way, and maybe make some bad decisions. But if a few bad decisions and bumps in the road were an automatic deterrent to having a relationship with another living being (whether it be dog or human) then most people would live VERY lonely lives.

Somewhere along the way I hope some of this makes sense.

Edit to add: in addition to these things, however, I hope you in the process of getting this new pup have made preparations and have learned ways to avoid the mistakes from the last one - ergo Romeo wouldn't have been in vain. You have, right?

I *kind* of remember your story abour Romeo.  That wasn't very long ago, was it, that you had to give him up?
 
I gather you are currently living in the same place you were when Romeo caused you problems?  If you are, and please don't take this wrong, but I tend to agree with your mother.  What if this dog causes problems too?  Why not wait until you move to get a dog?  If this dog causes problems before you can move, will it be up to your parents to bail you out AGAIN?
 
I don't mean this to sound harsh and I hope it doesn't.  Just my 2 cents worth as a LONG TIME parent.  []

I know how you feel.  My parents were livid when I got Crusher.  Because of my son's allergies.  Kale is allergic to dog saliva and we had a rotti X for a while.  His allergies were alot more severe then and Durc had to go to a new home.  ( my bf at the time took him to live at his house in the country and I still keep in touch)  Kale's allergies have calmed down alot and I wanted to try again.  We looked into alot of things, like breed cleanliness, climate sensitivities(in case he had to spend alot of time outside, which he doesnt) and ways to control the allergens.  I worked hard to get Crusher to like his bath so that I could keep him clean,  I taught him not to lick, I confined him out of the  living room and Kale's bedroom.  Things went great!  Until Mom and Dad found out!  Then the s**t hit the fan!  But alas, it is my life.  Kale is my responsibility and not thiers.  I didnt like that they were mad at me.  It killed that they thought I was being irresponsible.  But I proved them wrong.  I kept up my end of the bargain.  Kale is in better health now than ever.  His athsma is all but gone.  He spends alot more time outdoors.  He eats better.  And my parents see it.  My dad looks at Crusher with a longing in his eyes now!  He says he would love to have a dog again. 

Then of course I got the girls.  The fan wasnt as full this time.  But I still feel I need to prove myself.

I know this is not the same as your situation but I thought it might help to know that your not the only one that worries about what your parents think.

ORIGINAL: huskymom
I know this is not the same as your situation but I thought it might help to know that your not the only one that worries about what your parents think.

Great post huskymom!!

I just reread my post and realized that by what I wrote one might think I don't give a rat's patoot what my parents think. I do. I used to care even more, to the point that it ruled my life. I had to stop caring *as much* in order to live a normal life. Then again, there are a lot of [what some would consider] abnormal dynamics in my family situation, so take what I describe as methods of dealing with my family with a grain of salt. []

My parents were very, very concerned when I told them I was getting an Am Staff.  I had described the breed to them and my mom spent several long distanc ephone calls worrying that I was getting a Pit Bull. I finally said, "Mom, she's not a Pit; she's an Am Staff!".I then took her with me when I picked Gypsy up.  Mom was in love and she's not even a big dog fan! 

I just decided to do whatever I wanted and to heck with them.  I was 39 when I got Gypsy and had lived away fromt hem for over thwenty years.  I CAN do the right thing on my own!