Parent issues..how to deal

I have experience with controlling parents too.  Its a very tough situation.  For years I put up with my mother's constant criticism until one day a few years ago I stood up for myself and threw her out of my house (she had done the unforgivable- criticized my parenting abilities to my ex-husband!).  For six months we didn't speak.  Since then I have noticed the balance of power has shifted my way.  Now my mother thinks before she speaks and actually lives in fear of offending me.  I am much happier. 
 
Sometimes you have to take as stand, even if it means that you forfeit the support (as in $ help or babysitting help, etc.) from your parents.  Mine were always bringing up "all that we have done for you" every time they wanted to bend me to their will. 
 
Just my 2 cents.  Hope it helps you in your situation. 

count your blessing, at least they live in another house, in another city.  Aged parents in your homes with dogs can be a trial.... especially when dog sitting your grand-dog and the front door gets left wide open for considerable amounts of time for the multiple mailbox checks.  Oh yes "the dogs listen to me"  Sure they do, as they go about their own business.   Enough whining. [8D]

Being  a parent is tough.  You never stop worrying about the "kids" even long after they are off on their own.  And at 52 I find I'm still seeking my Mother's approval.  She and I are very different and she doesn't "get" me.
 
I won't say that I dislike my oldest sons finance, but she is NOT who I would have chosen for him.  However, I don't GET to choose for him.  He gets to live his own life and make his own decisions, and I accept her because HE loves her and I'll do absolutely NOTHING to harm my relationship with him.  That said, tho, I find myself biting my tongue many times.