Dog Community

My husband is a REALLY BIG turd.

Posted : 6/7/2007 10:50:07 PM

We are leaving for the weekend tomorrow morning, and as I am a stay at home mom I have been working all day to get things ready (for me that mostly means cleaning the house, making sure all the laundry is done, then grocery shopping, etc). I haven't quite finished everything, the Poppet threw a wrench in the laundry plan by pooping all over her crib during her nap. Ok, no big deal, I can clean that up and move on. Hubby got home a 7:30 and needed to mow the lawn, which was fine, I was finishing up dinner. So, I'm cooking up the ground beef for tacos and I look out the window and he's trimming. Ok, fine, whatever, I don't understand why someone would do the detail work first when there's other stuff to be done, but ok. We've got an electric mower so if he has to he won't bug the neighbors mowing after 9pm. At 8, the Poppet and I have to run to Kohls because I don't have any decent walking shoes, and I'm 7 months pregnant, so I need some for walking around all weekend. I leave dinner on the table and hubby finishing his meal. I come home to a dark yard, lawn half mown, dinner still on the table, and hubby sitting in front of his computer in his skivvies.

Now, if he can't finish the lawn tonight, that's fine, but there are other things to do. Honey, have you packed? Did you change the cat litter? Did you take the extra boxes out to the garage? Did you move the heavy stuff downstairs that I left here for you? No? You want me to shut up and mind my own business and stop being a nagging b****? Well, F YOU buddy, I'm super pregnant and have been dealing with a toddler all day, along with cleaning the other animal cages that I'm still allowed to do while I'm pregnant. We're leaving tomorrow morning and I don't want to listen to you whine (and yell) about why I haven't finished doing what needs to be done and why can't we get out the door already when I've been working my butt off and you haven't done anything. I also don't want to listen to the s*** about 'hey, where's my...socks? underwear? razor? Didn't you pack it/them?' HELL NO. I pack my stuff, the Poppet's stuff, the food, the swimming bag, the grill and charcoal, and the car. Get off your butt and do it yourself. I pack entertainment for the ride, the phones, chargers, video camera, and camera. I'm not packing a 27-year-old man's weekend bag. And I also don't appreciate being yelled and screamed at when I ask you a simple question, nor do I appreciate the scornful and exasperated 'WHAT?' you scream in answer to my calling your name. Yes, this is going to be a relaxing weekend for you, you've been working 11 hour days to make the extra bills and I'm very, very grateful for that, but honey, the weekend hasn't started yet. My sciatic nerve is screaming at me, my stomach hurts, and I still need to finish folding laundry, clean the cooler, vaccuum, pack my things, print out the reservation confirmation, print out directions, and clean out the car.

SO GET OFF YOUR A** AND HELP ME OUT.

cyclefiend2000

Posted : 6/7/2007 10:54:22 PM

give the guy a break he worked all day. [8D]

Cita

Posted : 6/7/2007 10:55:09 PM

Yipes, good luck!! Hope the trip makes up for the prep work (and lack thereof). [

]

Liesje

Posted : 6/7/2007 11:45:58 PM

Dear God, that man certainly owes you a pint of your favorit Ben & Jerrys AND a weekend at the spa!!!

I fear my DH will be the same way. He does things like....use too much TP so his toilet overflows, but he doesn't notice for a while until he goes back in the bathroom and there's an inch of standing sewage. So what does he do? He grabs all the really nice bath towels we just got from our wedding and soaps up pee water. Then, he doesn't tell me any of this and puts the sopping wet towels in the regular dirty laundry basket. A few days later, I wonder why our closet smells like sour ass and where all my clean towels are hiding. Yeah, I threw them all in the trash and had to wait for a sale to buy new ones (that were the wrong color and not as good).

[:@] Men.

DumDog

Posted : 6/8/2007 12:00:17 AM

ORIGINAL: cyclefiend2000

give the guy a break he worked all day. [8D]

i agree and yet disagree, well not disagree so much as want to say - she did too.
work is work really, doesnt matter if you do it at home or out among the world. anyone who thinks a stay at home mom doesnt work doesnt know the territory very well....

but again, you are pregnant so your hormones are raging and you hurt all over and you're tired. i know where you're at. my first pregnancy i worked up until the last trimester, i worked in a factory and was on my feet for 8 hours regardless of being pregnant, and had to carry heavy things and lift large objects over my head.... fun..

anyway he's probably just doing his normal wind down routine. my husband does it regardless of plans to go out of town. so my advice is tell him to can it when he gripes about not having his essentials. you're pregnant and there are some things you cant do or have no energy left to do. if he fusses just tell him he should have thought of those things while he was plunking around on the computer.
i've had to do that before to my husband, but thankfully not often.

DumDog

Posted : 6/8/2007 12:09:29 AM

ORIGINAL: Liesje

Dear God, that man certainly owes you a pint of your favorit Ben & Jerrys AND a weekend at the spa!!!

I fear my DH will be the same way. He does things like....use too much TP so his toilet overflows, but he doesn't notice for a while until he goes back in the bathroom and there's an inch of standing sewage. So what does he do? He grabs all the really nice bath towels we just got from our wedding and soaps up pee water. Then, he doesn't tell me any of this and puts the sopping wet towels in the regular dirty laundry basket. A few days later, I wonder why our closet smells like sour ass and where all my clean towels are hiding. Yeah, I threw them all in the trash and had to wait for a sale to buy new ones (that were the wrong color and not as good).

[:@] Men.

kill him!!!

kidding.... lol when my husband and i first met he gave me the toilet paper speech....
"Women use too much toilet paper and they clog up the pipes and over flow everything. you only need just a few sheets to do the job, not huge gobs and fistfulls of paper. after you're done, wash your hands." [8|]
i already knew all this but he didnt know i knew it, and we were room mates at the time and it was his house soooo... i cant blame him for the lecture.. i guess i kinda assumed that all men were weird about toilet paper like him lol
guess not.... he probably learned his lesson from having to unclog stopped up toilets himself. yuck..

keedokes, might i also suggest just not going on this weekend trip? it sounds like its already pretty much been soured and you arent feeling good already. if you already think there might be constant confrontation then there probably WILL be confrontations.
i know that when i was preggo and in a bad mood already it only took just a tiny amount of annoyance from my husband to send me flying into a raging slobbering fit which was probably not really deserved but still resulted in him defending himself and then we'd both end up mad for the rest of the day.....

Bullymom

Posted : 6/8/2007 1:01:29 AM

My hubby is good when it comes to packing for a trip. He knows that I will not do it for him. His arms ain't broke! The lawn care is HIS job and if he don't do it, it looks like a jungle! I'm not taking care of the child, the housework, and the dogs all day and then going to mow the lawn too. Justin is bad about being on the computer. I'll ask him to do a minor little task and it doesn't get done[:@] I, in return, get mad and then he will get up and do what I asked him to do. It's not all his fault, he has ADHD and I try to remember that but hell, I have a fat ass and I still do what needs to be done!

paulaedwina

Posted : 6/8/2007 7:10:08 AM

Ah, grasshopper, your mistake was hoping he'd think of these things on his own. Ditch that egalitarian crap. Next time leave him a list. I find that men do well if they know exactly what it is you want from them. List thusly,

Honey, since we're leaving on a trip tomorrow morning, I need to go to the store to get some shoes. There are some things I didn't get to yet. Could you get started on this stuff, and I'll join you when I come back

Things to do

1. mow grass
2. clean animal cages
3. clear table
4. pack your bags (for the trip, I still like you)
etc.

JMO Paula...um single and childless. so this is all boyfriend experience.

cyclefiend2000

Posted : 6/8/2007 7:19:44 AM

some men may do well with lists.... i would tell you where you could cram your list. [sm=2cents.gif]

Liesje

Posted : 6/8/2007 7:24:46 AM

i guess i kinda assumed that all men were weird about toilet paper like him lol
guess not

Haha, NOT mine! He clogs his toilet every other day. I've only clogged mine once and it was b/c the actual turd clogged it! [

]

OK[sm=backtotopic.gif]
I agree with the list. I figured out the hard way that as much as I'd like to think DH would realize that I work all day long AND do ALL of the chores without being asked or before they get out of control, it hasn't happened. I just tell him what to do. I'll say "Could you empty the dishwasher today?" or "If you clean the cat litter I'll vacuum everywhere." Because otherwise he won't do it, and he doesn't seem to mind being bossed. Men just don't read into things like we do; they aren't looking for chores to do so it never occurs to them unless there is a list or someone tells them.

spiritdogs

Posted : 6/8/2007 7:29:15 AM

ORIGINAL: cyclefiend2000

some men may do well with lists.... i would tell you where you could cram your list. [sm=2cents.gif]

You would not be given house room here, never mind telling me where to cram anything. That's rude, chauvinistic, and not appropriate for anyone to tell the mother of his children.
[sm=coffee.gif] And, what I just said is nothing compared to what I'd say BEFORE my first cup of java. [

]

I do agree that men seldom see, on their own, what needs to be done. One track minds - no capacity for multi-tasking. I prefer a list that says what each partner will do. The woman's list is always longer than the man's, and most men, when presented with that visually, are glad to have the shorter list. If someone told me to cram anything, he'd be leaving for vacation alone, and I'd be gone when he got back.

Personal Champ

Posted : 6/8/2007 7:36:19 AM

I second what Spiritdogs said.

My hubby is (most of the time) very willing to help me out. However, he is unable to actually find the initiative to do so. But, if I nicely say, "Honey, could you do XYZ," he'll do it, no complaints. Left to his own devices, the house could implode, and he may not even notice, LOL.

That's why, every weekend/day we're home together, he'll come up to me and say "what do you have planned for today?" That way, we're on the same page on what needs to be done, and we brainstorm as to the best method to do so.

Oh, and hubby ALWAYS clogs the toilet. Never me. Just thought I'd add that!

cyclefiend2000

Posted : 6/8/2007 7:37:37 AM

i am not saying i dont help out around the house, and i think all husbands should help with the chores. however, a list is pretty degrading. that is what my mom did when i was a kid. i am an adult now. i know what needs to be done around the house, and i will do my share in my time.

think of it this way... what if your husband gave you a list of chores to do? how well would that be received? i know it would not go over too well in my house.

tashakota

Posted : 6/8/2007 7:43:50 AM

Why is it that way with men? I just don't get it. My BF is the same way. So I do create lists and then things get done.

He's busy with his hobby of brewing and I'm busy with my hobby of the agility club and trialing, so somewhere in there we need to mow an acre and vacuum the house at least once a week. Our weed eater is broken so we haven't trimmed in ages and I really want to cut down some weeds and such... worst part about that is that I can't hardly use a weed eater for my back. [>:]

But yeah, I would have said, well ok, I guess we're not going then. My biggest gripe with BF is I come home, teach classes or play with the dogs and then eat and go to bed. What does he do? Stays up for another two hours watching TV. [8|] Um, couldn't you empty the dishwasher at least? Or wash the towels? Or clean up your sh!!

Cheryl

Posted : 6/8/2007 7:54:25 AM

[sm=director.gif] [sm=flamethrower.gif]

give the guy a break he worked all day.

Keedokes, your husband and mine MUST be related........