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Xerxes

Posted : 5/16/2007 8:20:53 PM

ORIGINAL: nyiceprincess

Does she ever take a shower??

Now that would be going behind her back![

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Can you also expand on the “cold shoulder” comment? What do you mean by that exactly?

We hardly even eat dinner together anymore. We were never big talkers, but now even that leaves me feeling empty. And she's always working late so she can take off early to go on her weekend getaways with her mother. At times it's like she's more of a roommate than a DW.

We go through phases like this sometimes but this time is worse than those other phases. She's even stopped all talk of us having children. It's like she doesn't care about the same things she used to care about.

DPU

Posted : 5/16/2007 8:22:41 PM

ORIGINAL: Xerxes

I'm going to call Cingular in the morning and see about getting that phone off of my bill. But what if it's something completely innocent?

From reading your posts, you seem to have a very level head on your shoulders and think things through in a very logical manner. Extending yourself to others seems to come natural to you. You don't seem to me the type of person to jump to the wrong conclusion or for that matter to play guessing games. Assume it is innocent and blame the phone company.

jjsmom06

Posted : 5/16/2007 8:32:06 PM

We hardly even eat dinner together anymore. We were never big talkers, but now even that leaves me feeling empty.

Ok.. so this comment stood out to me Ed. Maybe it isn't just YOU that is feeling empty... maybe you (without knowing it) have sort have withdrawn from her too and she feels the same way and this is putting stress on the relationship. An awkward feeling between both of you. I know how much you love to cook.. have you tried to make a special dinner for two.. maybe something romantic to help you guys through this rough spot?

I still am tempted to believe that you are reading more into this than you should. I agree that you should look into it a bit more though.

Have you tried to make some "together" time recently? If so how does that go over? How does she react when you touch her.. that kind of thing. If there are no differences than maybe you are making more of this than you should.

miranadobe

Posted : 5/16/2007 8:58:06 PM

From reading your posts, you seem to have a very level head on your shoulders and think things through in a very logical manner. Extending yourself to others seems to come natural to you. You don't seem to me the type of person to jump to the wrong conclusion or for that matter to play guessing games. Assume it is innocent and blame the phone company.

Nicely put, DPU.

boneyjean

Posted : 5/16/2007 9:03:57 PM

the numbers that it calls are primarily Stella's cell and her work.

This alone would make me ask questions and leave me feeling suspicious.

Cheryl

Posted : 5/16/2007 9:18:31 PM

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and contact the cell phone company. I hope you find it's just an error on their part.

That's what I'd do....

ottoluv

Posted : 5/16/2007 9:20:37 PM

You can log online to your account also and see how long the phone has been around. It seems rather brazen for someone to do somthing sketchy like that when you could easily find out since you pay the bill. I'd guess it's nothing based on that.

nfowler

Posted : 5/16/2007 11:04:54 PM

Sorry, Ed. As a payer, you should know what's going on with that phone. And regardless of who knows about it or doesn't know about it, everyone should be as concerned as you right now--DW and MIL. Gosh! You PAY the bill for all of them so they ought to be right there with you!

Cheering you on from hot hot hot Boise (like 90 degrees here)!

Nancy and her hairy kids.

jode88

Posted : 5/17/2007 12:21:44 AM

I shouldn't give advice to people I don't know, but since it's a forum, I'll assume you don't mind my two cents.
When people get that awful gut feeling that something is going on....it usually is. If she's not giving you answers then I would get them myself. Did you happen to notice the duration of the calls? Are they long conversations? What about text msgs? Any of that going on? Why don't you ask to go along on a trip with them and see her reaction.
I was going to ask if you have children that maybe she got the phone for but it sounds like you dont.
I hope it turns out to be nothing. Best of luck.

Jo

probe1957

Posted : 5/17/2007 7:37:45 AM

This is just too obvious for Stella to be cheating on you or something like that. I think there is a valid reason for the mystery cell phone. So, once again, I am going to err on the side of sick humor and say...

...Ed, if you were able to satisfy her, you wouldn't have to concern yourself about stuff like this. [

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boneyjean

Posted : 5/17/2007 8:34:44 AM

I have thought about it more...is it possible that she has an assistant at work that she could have gotten it for? That would explain the calls to her cell and her work if that were the case. Just a thought.

chewbecca

Posted : 5/17/2007 9:26:50 AM

I'd be finding out what the heck is going on.

But, honestly, if your wife was doing something you should be suspicious of, do you think she'd be as blatant as getting another phone on YOUR dime?
I'd be on the phone with that cell phone company finding out WHEN the phone was added and WHO authorized it. Since YOU pay the bill, who are THEY to add a phone onto your plan without contacting you about it first?

Good luck, sweet, and try to not freak out about it.[

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probe1957

Posted : 5/17/2007 9:35:46 AM

ORIGINAL: chewbecca

But, honestly, if your wife was doing something you should be suspicious of, do you think she'd be as blatant as getting another phone on YOUR dime?

I am with you there, Rebecca. From what Ed has said in the past, I think it is fair to say that Stella isn't the sharpest pencil in the box, but she would know better than this, if she were trying to hide something.

Hey Ed, you mentioned that she no longer talks about having children?? To use a farm analogy, is it possible she has determined that your grain drill just won't plant the seed deep enough? [

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probe1957

Posted : 5/17/2007 9:51:46 AM

Another possibility just occurred to me here. Suppose she really is screwing around, she doesn't have the balls to fess up to Ed about it, but, at the same time, she WANTS him to know????

The things that make you say, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

sooner

Posted : 5/17/2007 9:53:52 AM

Since this phone calls Stella's numbers it's not a phone company screw-up. You can call Cingular and find out the details on the phone - and you can also have a password put on your account so no one else can call in and make changes to it. I used to work for Cingular and husbands and/or wives would do this frequently to prevent their SO from making changes to the accounts. That's the world we live in now [

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However, it doesn't necessarily mean 'affair'. It could be someone she's trying to help out. My mom did something similar once for a friend of hers that was in financial trouble. She didn't tell my dad because he didn't like this friend. IME though, if your gut says something is wrong, it probably is.

Should I be suspicious?