Missing members thread!-HKDog, et al

ORIGINAL: probe1957

[sm=beatdeadhorse.gif]

I don't like that animal cruelty icon.  It should go the way of the '57 Mercury.  I am going to keep harping on this until it is goes away.  Stay tuned.

ORIGINAL: DPU

ORIGINAL: probe1957

[sm=beatdeadhorse.gif]

I don't like that animal cruelty icon.  It should go the way of the '57 Mercury.  I am going to keep harping on this until it is goes away.  Stay tuned.

 
Its not animal cruelty because the horse is already dead []

Its not animal cruelty because the horse is already dead

 
 
That is why I am so relaxed drinking my coffee and reading my paper.........[sm=coffee.gif]
 
 
Cheers espencer............[sm=drinking47.gif]

ORIGINAL: snownose

That is why I am so relaxed drinking my coffee and reading my paper.........[sm=coffee.gif]


Cheers espencer............[sm=drinking47.gif]

 
Salud!!! []
 

ORIGINAL: espencer

ORIGINAL: DPU

ORIGINAL: probe1957

[sm=beatdeadhorse.gif]

I don't like that animal cruelty icon.  It should go the way of the '57 Mercury.  I am going to keep harping on this until it is goes away.  Stay tuned.

Its not animal cruelty because the horse is already dead []

 
Don't you watch cartoons.  If butterflies are flying around the head then that means the character is only knocked out, not dead. 

Well everyone else seems to be jumping in this thread so I might as well, but I'm just going to dip my toes in the water.[]


I for one think that most of this thread belongs in the "how are we doing" section.

There are some members that I do miss; eley and his beautiful Fila, Julitza and her houseful of kids and critters, inne and her broad world view and experiences, sheprano, jones and a bunch of others. 

I think that there can be point-counter point without being snide, condescending, or rude.  I KNOW that discussing even heated issues can be done in this way.  (Look at the "what a letter" thread that Billy started a few months back if you don't believe me.)  Whether moderator or poster we have to remember that this is a very public forum, lurkers are reading and watching.  We also need to remember that our voices can convey nuance that our written words cannot. 

I was gently reminded about a post I made recently so I went back and toned it down.  I didn't think it was all that bad, but that was because I know what tone I was saying the words with.  However to a casual reader it may have seemed like a personal attack.  I didn't have to go back and edit, but I did.  I know I'm not perfect and certain subjects really get me going so sometimes it's nice to have a gentle nudge in the right direction.

[sm=backtotopic.gif]

ORIGINAL: Xerxes
There are some members that I do miss; eley and his beautiful Fila, Julitza and her houseful of kids and critters, inne and her broad world view and experiences, sheprano, jones and a bunch of others. 

 
Oooo, thanks for the reminder.  I need to respond to eley now that I have the info.  Eley is moving around and is thinking of adding another dog.  Be back soon.

 As long as you feel that you are doing the best for your dog, why should you get upset  because someone disagrees or does something differently? 

 
I do!  There have been a lot of conversations that I have been in where I have become really upset because while I am trying to explain my feeling or what I am doing..people are still saying I am wrong. I know I'm not wrong because its my dog and I know what is best for my dog...but it still upsets me, and it upsets me a lot.  When people disagree with you on a lot of these conversations..they kind of dismiss everything you are trying to get across...and they make you feel like a little kid or worse.  The only time I left any of the conversations NOT feeling bad, is when there a concession that "even though they don't believe in this that or another thing they understand why I am doing what I am doing. 
As far as the moderators... I don't know what should or should not be done...but I do know that before this forum changed...we didn't have someone stepping in on almost every conversation moderating. Perhaps people were nicer back then,,,and we didn't need him. But there was one moderator on Idog back then,,,and you could go weeks and weeks before ever hearing from him.
Its hard to compare Gina and Glenda to Personal Champ OR Amstaffy because they came in as moderators...we never really had the "friend or fellow poster" attitude about them, even though they might have posted as a fellow poster.   I like that Gina puts on her moderating hat also...lets you know when she is working or playing...[]
 
At the beginning of this thread Cathy mentioned not seeing me.... thanks for missing me Cathy!  But honestly I have been here. Sometimes I get so caught up in reading that I don't have time for writing.

I remember some major train wrecks back in those days Dyan. Wow, there were some doozies!  The forum was  a lot smaller in those days AND Jim had to work another job to support the forum so he wasn't around because he simply couldnt' be.
 
I remember too all the moaning and groaning when the forum changed hands and quite frankly, like a dog or a child, I was GLAD to see some boundaries.  There had been too many times that we couldn't reach Jim when we needed him simply because he HAD to have a life and work, etc.  And just as EVERYONE got used to Jaime, things changed again.  I had been saying for a very LONG time that one person just wasn't enough to moderate this forum, so I was glad to see more folks involved.  Honestly, there are days when I don't have time to read or post on anything other than "my" areas.  So, being a moderator has a few drawbacks other than being publicly slapped. [:@]  And, honestly, there have been threads where if I hadn't been the one under attack I would have plastered the thread with red ink.  I would never have allowed posters to treat any other forum member the way I was being treated.  And, you've been around long enough to know that even as NOT a moderator I often would step in and post something to either try to diffuse the situation (Red Sox rears) or out and out say that I thot someone was being flat out rude and unneccessarily rough.
 
It's often a case of damned if we do, damned if we don't.  Some think it's "silly" to put the hat on, others like it.  I made a JOKING comment in a thread with Jaime that became the subject of an entire THREAD.  Anyone who has been around idog for even a milisecond knows that I'm the self proclaimed expert on nothing.......and for goodness sakes, JAIME was in that thread!  I mean, JAIME, the forum QUEEN.......
 
And then you've got half the forum begging for more moderating and half saying that we are "suppressing" their freedom of speech.  Can't win for loosing.  BUT, this forum is my "home" and moderator or not, I'll do whatever I can to keep it a nice place for everyone.  Ed had a post in another thread that could have been construed as ugly......I KNOW Ed and I knew he didn't mean it the way that it sounded, but I posted a little fairly gentle reminder and he changed the post and PM'd me.....he didn't HAVE to change the post, I have no authority in that area of the forum, but he recognized that yep, it could be taken wrong, and did change what he'd said to be less abrasive.  But, you know what?  Even if I weren't a moderator, and those who have been around KNOW this about me, I would have posted the same thing, and likely gotten the same response.
 
And I do agree that we all need to be willing to "agree to disagree" and not try to beat people down into accepting that "our" way is the right way.  This is something that happened MORE in the "old days" than it does now, but, the forum was a whole lot smaller back then.  Anytime you have THIS many folks who are passionate about dogs, there is going to be disagreement and I think that my main job as a moderator is to keep that disagreement from getting personal and cruel.
 
And, I think I haven't had enough coffee to be rational yet! [&:]

ORIGINAL: DPU

 
That'll be a first.  []

And then you've got half the forum begging for more moderating and half saying that we are "suppressing" their freedom of speech. 

Boy is that the truth!  I personally don't like a moderator in always correcting things.....but its because I'm not used to it.   Jim was NOT around sometimes when needed, but I remember most of the time our posters took care of thing themselves.  But your right Glenda...it was a lot smaller back then, a lot more people and a lot more threads now require more people to moderate.
It WOULD be nice if everyone would be nicer to all of the posters...to at least try to compromise or understand what they are saying. It is a lot nicer to be in a conversation where you can discuss it out, rather then having someone come in and stop it....leaving so much frustration to the posters.
There again, I guess you can't win for loosing because while trying to discuss and finish a conversation...some posters are trying to discuss while others say its beating a dead horse!

See?  And that gets frustrating for US trying to moderate.  If, for example, I say something to the affect that we need to keep things on a non-personal level and not get into personal attacks on those who don't agree with us, SOME appreciate that and heed the reminder, while SOME think that my very presence in the thread is meant to stifle their conversation.
 
I think that we all need to remember that while this is a PUBLIC forum, it is owned by a private concern and the rules are meant to keep this a nice community in which to post.  I honestly take no personal pleasure in asking someone to back off.....but I've done that for years when I could see a thread turning ugly.
 
BUT, now I'm guilty of taking a thread way off topic.......sorry all.

ORIGINAL: glenmar

I remember some major train wrecks back in those days Dyan. Wow, there were some doozies!  The forum was  a lot smaller in those days AND Jim had to work another job to support the forum so he wasn't around because he simply couldnt' be.

I remember too all the moaning and groaning when the forum changed hands and quite frankly, like a dog or a child, I was GLAD to see some boundaries.  There had been too many times that we couldn't reach Jim when we needed him simply because he HAD to have a life and work, etc.  And just as EVERYONE got used to Jaime, things changed again.  I had been saying for a very LONG time that one person just wasn't enough to moderate this forum, so I was glad to see more folks involved.  Honestly, there are days when I don't have time to read or post on anything other than "my" areas.  So, being a moderator has a few drawbacks other than being publicly slapped. [:@]  And, honestly, there have been threads where if I hadn't been the one under attack I would have plastered the thread with red ink.  I would never have allowed posters to treat any other forum member the way I was being treated.  And, you've been around long enough to know that even as NOT a moderator I often would step in and post something to either try to diffuse the situation (Red Sox rears) or out and out say that I thot someone was being flat out rude and unneccessarily rough.

It's often a case of damned if we do, damned if we don't.  Some think it's "silly" to put the hat on, others like it.  I made a JOKING comment in a thread with Jaime that became the subject of an entire THREAD.  Anyone who has been around idog for even a milisecond knows that I'm the self proclaimed expert on nothing.......and for goodness sakes, JAIME was in that thread!  I mean, JAIME, the forum QUEEN.......

And then you've got half the forum begging for more moderating and half saying that we are "suppressing" their freedom of speech.  Can't win for loosing.  BUT, this forum is my "home" and moderator or not, I'll do whatever I can to keep it a nice place for everyone.  Ed had a post in another thread that could have been construed as ugly......I KNOW Ed and I knew he didn't mean it the way that it sounded, but I posted a little fairly gentle reminder and he changed the post and PM'd me.....he didn't HAVE to change the post, I have no authority in that area of the forum, but he recognized that yep, it could be taken wrong, and did change what he'd said to be less abrasive.  But, you know what?  Even if I weren't a moderator, and those who have been around KNOW this about me, I would have posted the same thing, and likely gotten the same response.

And I do agree that we all need to be willing to "agree to disagree" and not try to beat people down into accepting that "our" way is the right way.  This is something that happened MORE in the "old days" than it does now, but, the forum was a whole lot smaller back then.  Anytime you have THIS many folks who are passionate about dogs, there is going to be disagreement and I think that my main job as a moderator is to keep that disagreement from getting personal and cruel.

And, I think I haven't had enough coffee to be rational yet! [&:]

I don't know.  I am an active another forum where there are virtually no boundries on what can be said to each other.  The moderators will *occasionally* step in but pretty much are of the opinion that if you want to be rude and call others names, you can.  However, if other members think you are just being an a$$, they can tell you that. 

You'd think that would be a recipe for disaster,what's really funny is that I've seen far more nasty fights on this board, which has quite a few rules, then that one.  People just find ways to be be creatively rude--saying things a certain way, subtly slipping in nasty little comments that you may not pick up the first time reading through the thread, etc.

It's a delicate balence, but personally if I had to choose between under moderation and over moderation--I'll take less.  Too much and it becomes less like a forum, and more like a school playgroud.  IDK, maybe I just feel that way because I'm such a stubborn git who finds arguing fun (I know that probably comes as a HUGE shock to everyone).

And Ed, you are a better idogger than I--I probably would have sat there and argued that my post was fine and I'm not changing--especailly if nastiness was not my intent.[]

I think that Ed recognized that the shortcoming of the internet is that others can't know our intent other than by the words they see.
 
I really would like to see folks moderate themselves on this forum, but since it doesn't always happen, we tend to be a neccessary evil. [8D]
 
If you guys could see some of the emails I get, where I can absolutely tell that people are in TEARS because of what has been said to them, you'd understand that words CAN inflict some real damage and really wound the person hearing (seeing) them.  Yeah, this is JUST the internet, but many of us have been around this particular community for a very long time and it often FEELS like an exteneded family.  Sappy as it sounds, my heart absolutely BROKE for Joyce and I felt like a real failure as a friend that I couldn't do a danged thing to "make it better" for her.  I've never MET Joyce, wouldn't know her if she walked up to me on the street and bit me in the butt, but I KNOW her...if that makes sense.  So the feeling of friendship and family is there for me.

I think I have been almost in tears more than once...no doubt about it.
Not sure what is right or wrong...good or bad, but I do know that FOR ME, the best thing that can be done in some of these disagreements is to have someone stick up for you and make an effort to help the others understand. Too often it seems that while someone is trying to explain why they are do what they have to do...others just say its wrong without even paying attention to what the person is saying.  Glenda, you are SO GOOD at being the person to "stick up" for the others....I have seen you do it so many times...before and since you are a modrator. I have no doubt that is why you were asked to be one.  I think that is so important because there is nothing worse than feeling like no one heard what you said.