Missing members thread!-HKDog, et al

So, are you saying that in accepting responsibility for a portion of the forum we thereby forfeit our right to post as normal forum members?  Sorry, but if that were the case absolutely no one would be willing to take on the added responsibilities and no longer be allowed to be part of the forum.  That's just nonsense, IMHO.  And not spoken as anything OTHER than a regular joe.

IMHO, DPU is correct, it is a very condescending remark.   Simply ignoring (or arguing the point with facts) would have been far more effective, and could have possibly defused the situation.

If one choses to be a moderator, they are chosing to be held to a higher standard of behavior.  They are no longer a "normal" forum member.  If they do not want that responsibility, then they should not be a moderator.

Since I don't recall the thread, I can't speak to the comment one way or another.
 
Moderators are HUMAN too.  We are NOT accorded much, if any respect.  I get emails from people thanking me and telling me that I'm doing a good job, but I get threads started for folks who want to critisize me.  Respect would be addressing those concerns to me privately.
 
And, the "moderator handbook" doesn't say that any of us are expected to be perfect.  FWIW there were a number of nasty comments made early on about the "new regime" so I think some of you have forgotten that all was not sugar and spice when the new folks came in.

Well, if you are going to moderate a public forum, then shouldn't you explect public critizism now and then?  Personally, I tend to think it is better that many matters are made public so that there can be an open discussion--PMing prevents that.  I honestly don't think that you took this position expecting to be all roses and bunnies, as everyone has their own opinion as to how a forum should be run.  Yes, moderators are human, but so are a number of other people in positions of authority, and they still accept that they will be held to a higher standard and behave accordingly.

Nobody is forcing anyone to be a moderator. 

I think that we all need to take a step back and breathe.
 
I agree with many of the points that were presented in this thread. Moderators and Admins, because of their positions, are viewed as a "higher" authority and expectations are influenced because of this. I think that this is a well known fact.
 
However, it should be equally, if not more, well known that the moderators are also living, breathing people - people who were members of this forum before they became mods. We choose member mods for many reasons, but one of the biggest is that it is more "friendly" than a stranger - you know them, and they know you.
 
Just because they are moderators or admins doesn't give people the right to attack, criticize or air dirty laundry. The same rules that apply to the members apply to the mods.
 
Maybe it's easier for me to say this because I wasn't an active member of this forum before I became admin - I was a lurker. I don't know. I do believe, however, that if everyone would treat everyone as they would if they were face-to-face with them, instead of behind the safety and anonymity of a keyboard, things may be a bit nicer.

Glenmar, you are forfeiting nothing.  You were asked and selected because of your abilities, and I am sure as part of the selection process Leadership was a factor.  Why would you choose to flip-flop on your standing here?  Moderating can be done outside looking in and also from within.  If you are engaged in a thread it should be that much easier and friendly to move the discussion the way you want it to flow.  When you entered this thread you stated "I've got to put in my two cents" which told me you were requesting a challenge rather than make the discussion productive.  You forcibly gave up the moderator role.  To get it back you must do something as equally forcible as saying "Moderator here and I have put on my 10 gallon Texan moderating hat on".   And I think this is what members are having a problem with.  You are confusing them. 

Now, this is just me but when Amstaffy enters a thread it startles me to where I actually jerk.  Its that signature of the red, white, and blue flag that gets me everytime.  Amstaffy does not give up the moderator role from the get go.  She keeps it and attempts to turn the thread around and yes, swallowing or cushioning her passionate views.  This takes practice.  And publicly I state so far no problem with your moderating.  If you choose to give up your moderating role for the sake of entering a thread and I engage in a discussion with you, don't let it come back to bite me.

ORIGINAL: Personal Champ

I do believe, however, that if everyone would treat everyone as they would if they were face-to-face with them, instead of behind the safety and anonymity of a keyboard, things may be a bit nicer.

Does that apply to GeorgeW. Funny?  (now which smiley represents the duck and hide expression)

ORIGINAL: DPU
Does that apply to GeorgeW. Funny?  (now which smiley represents the duck and hide expression)

 
DPU, I would tell George W. that joke to his face, so I'm not sure if that applies, LOL. [sm=biggrin.gif]

ORIGINAL: Personal Champ

I think that we all need to take a step back and breathe.

I agree with many of the points that were presented in this thread. Moderators and Admins, because of their positions, are viewed as a "higher" authority and expectations are influenced because of this. I think that this is a well known fact.

However, it should be equally, if not more, well known that the moderators are also living, breathing people - people who were members of this forum before they became mods. We choose member mods for many reasons, but one of the biggest is that it is more "friendly" than a stranger - you know them, and they know you.

Just because they are moderators or admins doesn't give people the right to attack, criticize or air dirty laundry. The same rules that apply to the members apply to the mods.

Maybe it's easier for me to say this because I wasn't an active member of this forum before I became admin - I was a lurker. I don't know. I do believe, however, that if everyone would treat everyone as they would if they were face-to-face with them, instead of behind the safety and anonymity of a keyboard, things may be a bit nicer.

Agreed.  There isn't anything I've said here that I would not say to someone's face....

ORIGINAL: Personal Champ

ORIGINAL: DPU
Does that apply to GeorgeW. Funny?  (now which smiley represents the duck and hide expression)

DPU, I would tell George W. that joke to his face, so I'm not sure if that applies, LOL. [sm=biggrin.gif]

 
And it would be receeived positively because of the delivery and the tone.  I don't know, the AWE factor makes people do things differently from what they say.  Mostly gets them nervous but makes them behave.  Seriously.

ORIGINAL: DPU
And it would be receeived positively because of the delivery and the tone.  I don't know, the AWE factor makes people do things differently from what they say.  Mostly gets them nervous but makes them behave.  Seriously.

 
Perhaps, however, to me, awe is usually based on respect. If I don't respect someone, I won't hold them in awe. Granted, it takes a lot to ruin my respect for someone, but it has been known to happen.
 
A bit off topic, but not - my stepson (he's almost 3) was so in awe of the Easter Bunny that he behaved for a whole week after we took him for his pictures - wouldn't it be nice for life to be that simple again? [sm=idea.gif]

I hope Sheprano come backs too.  I had no idea she left because of a heated discussion with Gina. 
 
That sort of makes me agree with DPU on the moderator thing.  I know moderaters are people too and of course none of us expects them to be perfect... but to hear that a member was diven out by an argument with one of them makes me wonder why that moderator didnt nip it in the bud before it got to that point.... I mean, that is the idea of being a moderator, right?
 
Gina, I hope you dont take offense to that... I dont even know what happened, and its not you personally... I love your threads and posts and think its wonderful that you still post so much after becoming a moderator.  When you did I honestly thought that would be the end of all of your posts and you would become more distantly aware of it from behind the scenes.  It was a pleasant surprise to see nothing really changed.  And so far, when youve had to "moderate" its been done nicely, IMO at least.
 
So, Im pretty shocked to hear that something with you and Sheprano got out of hand...  to the point where she left.  You have to act the same when its you in the argument as you would if it were two others.  But again, Im not saying you didnt since I havnt read the thread. 
 
So, I guess all Im trying to say is, I for one like the fact that you all still post and enter discussions as moderators... but theres a delicate balance there because you are expected by us to uphold a better behavior than regualr memebers... although essentially everyone is expected to... authority figures just more so.
 
[sm=wink3.gif]
 

ORIGINAL: loveukaykay

So, Im pretty shocked to hear that something with you and Sheprano got out of hand...  to the point where she left. 

 
Apparently I missed that whole thread, but I do know that it doesn't always  take a lot to make somebody get their knickers all in a twist.  If you catch someone when they're having a bad day, sometimes the least little thing can make them pick up their toys and go home. Things don't always have to get ugly or out of hand for that to happen.
 
Joyce
 
 

Yes, your absolutely right.  And after reading the thread it seems thats just what happened.[]
 
 

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