Oh, What to do?

He told me that he would be bringing a date & he would hate for me to be shocked by this, so he felt that it was only right to forewarn me.

Absolutely amazing!!  I'm really sorry that you're having to deal with this on top of everything else that's happened recently.  I think I'd pass on the date thing.  Heck, it'll probably be more fun not to have to worry about anyone but yourself anyway, especially when it comes to hanging out with the girls [].  Have a great time and be sure to wear something to make his jaw drop [].

FWIW, I am going to recommend you take the high road.

The fact that he begged you for another chance, told you he would do whatever it took to save the relationship and a week later is bringing a date to YOUR party is proof to me of how well you are to be rid of him.  It's obvious he is trying to hurt you as much as he can, which shows that his own twisted way, he still cares and is trying to make you regret your decision.
 
That being the case, I personally would to whatever it takes to make it clear to him that you do NOT regret your decision.  Even if you do, in the tiniest way, I wouldn't show it.  If that means wearing something he'd hate, or dropping a comment that would disturb him, fine.  I don't see that as revenge, or being spiteful - I see it as you showing that you're moving on.  Doing exactly what you feel like doing is not, to me, playing games...it's simply your right to do what it takes to recover from the horror you've been going through. 
 
If you were going to dress up, let your hair down and have a fab time at this get-together with your friends, I think it would be WORSE not to do that simply because he's going to be there.  Showing him, even in a small way, that his actions affect you (amd I know they do, I am just talking about showing it) proves to him that he can hurt you as much as he wants and there you'll be, pining for him.  I wouldn't give him that kind of validation.  It's HIS choice to be at this party and as far as I can tell, the only reason he is choosing to do so is hurt you.  Don't give him the satisfaction of thinking that it worked.  Dress up, look more fabulous than he has ever seen you, and, for the most part, ignore him.
 
Kate

I may be off base here...but I'm sure someone like Billy will knock me back into line if I'm that far away....
 
Take the high road and absolutely ignore this SOB.  Your friends, no doubt, know what transpired.  I would imagine that more than one of them will be suggesting to him that he's an @$$ and really isn't all that welcome at this party.  Meanwhile you get back to the business about your own life.  You've wasted too much time on this creep to worry about his feelings or to subject yourself to his immaturity.

Reading your first post, my first thought was be the bigger person.  Go to the party, w/o a date, and act like you are in control and that him being there isn't a big deal at all.
 
After reading your second post I almost laughed out loud.  These are YOUR friends?  He is soooo dead!  lol  I hope they rip him a new one in your defense and run him out of the house.  You can sit back with a smile on your face.
 
Good luck,
 
Sue

Go to the party, by yourself, and look fabulous drop dead gorgeous and don't pay him the time of day. Take the high road and travel first class! You guys just ended a four year relationship, he's been cheating and he's bring a DATE, (obviously not the chick he's been cheating with I assume, since she's out of state) to YOUR friends party? What does this guy think is going to happen? I highly imagine one of your friends or the pregnant hostess (my money is on the the hormones!) will tell him he's not really welcome and he won't be there 15 minutes.

Oh honey!  This guy is lower than a snakes belly and ya'll KNOW how I feel about those horrible creatures.....so glad that you are done with him.

The best advice I ever got about how to get over a break-up was....
 
NO CONTACT, NO CONTACT, NO CONTACT
 
I gotta tell you, I did this the last time and it really is much easier to move on because you are not worrying about who he is seeing, what he is thinking, etc.....
 
My advice would be to block his number out of his phone after you take care of what ever "business" you need to with him, and send him a note saying please do not contact me.  It sounds like his behavior is starting to deteriorate and it would be best for you not to be dragged into his nonsense

Ignore him and make it a girls night out despite him. To me it's not even a matter of taking the high road or being the bigger person... just enjoying YOUR life and moving on no matter how much he baits you. It's your St Patty's Day, with your friends... he can just stuff it.

ORIGINAL: ron2
So, put on a pair of daisy duke's and either a tube top or, even better, use two bandannas for a halter top.

 
How about a skirt that's just barely there & 2 shamrocks that have been painted on (body art paint) to look like a bikini top?  I've lost 14 pounds since Monday, instead of my normal 6 pack, I currently am sporting an 8 pack & I want to show it off a bit.  I just got back from having my hair cut & the body artist should be here by 5:00.  Short of hair & outfit choice, I plan to keep my mouth closed & take the high road this time. 

ORIGINAL: BEVOLASVEGAS

ORIGINAL: ron2
So, put on a pair of daisy duke's and either a tube top or, even better, use two bandannas for a halter top.

How about a skirt that's just barely there & 2 shamrocks that have been painted on (body art paint) to look like a bikini top?  I've lost 14 pounds since Monday, instead of my normal 6 pack, I currently am sporting an 8 pack & I want to show it off a bit.  I just got back from having my hair cut & the body artist should be here by 5:00.  Short of hair & outfit choice, I plan to keep my mouth closed & take the high road this time. 

 
Amanda, you are my IDOL.  []
 
Kate

My thought process is... I am not getting any younger & eventually gravity is going to catch up with me, so why not wear it while I can.

LOL GO FOR IT!!!

I say, if you can't mess with a CHEATING EX, who can you mess with? You'll one day look back at this with pride and a laugh. GO FOR IT and have a great time.

((an EIGHT pack? there are several words I'd call you right now if you weren't my hero [8D] )

ok, my friends would never let the jacka$$ in the door.  They'd have him in bloody pieces by the time his car door was even shut.  SO!  I'd show up looking DAMN hot.  Let him come in and see you looking hot.  Then have your friends (pref the hottest, most respected, most buff guys there) escort him right back out the door and advise he's not welcome in your circle anymore.  Ok, maybe that's putting them in a bad spot?  But, if they're not his friends, why on god's green earth should they care about his feelings, either?!?!
 
But, that's just my opinion.  I have plenty of others.  []

You guys just ended a four year relationship, he's been cheating and he's bring a DATE, (obviously not the chick he's been cheating with I assume, since she's out of state) to YOUR friends party?

I thought the same damn thing!  I want this guy to melt into a puddle of vomitted dog poop - and we ALL know how disgusting that smells!!  [:'(][:@] ARGH!