Oh, What to do?

You don't mean bringing HIS ex as YOUR date do you? Or his MOM??? lol...

Sounds to me like he is just trying to make you jealous

hmmm, half of me wants to say do it, he deserves it, but the other half is frantically jumping up and down screaming nooooo.

what a jerk, sounds like he is playing some major games.


EEEEEEE, i don't know what to say.

ORIGINAL: rwbeagles

You don't mean bringing HIS ex as YOUR date do you? Or his MOM??? lol...

 
No, but the guy that was to be his best man, & was his best friend prior to this week has offered to be my date.  I declined, but I know that he will be there if I need him.  I can literally make Ryan cry like a child if I decide that's what I want.  I am just really conflicted as to how far I should take this.  On one hand, I feel like this could hurt him & he has hurt me som much that he deserves it.  On the other hand, maybe I should be the bigger person and leave well enough alone.  Decisions,decisions....This stinks.

Amanda
personally i would take the high road on this one and wouldn't play games like he is... i know how much it hurts and how good it can feel to get him back but you may not be proud of yourself for doing so.

just my 2 cents though... good luck whatever route you decide to go!!

I know how tempting it is to get him back but I don't think you should. Yes, you will have hurt him but do you really feel any better in the long run? I think if you can answer that question you will know the answer to yours.

If the only reason you would go with the friend would be to hurt him I say dont do it.  If you wanted to go with him but declined for ex's sake or something like that then go with him and have fun because you wanted to go with him and no other reason.  If your living your life theres nothing wrong with that, no matter how bad it may hurt him.  But dont go out of your way to do it.... even though he certainly deserves it.[sm=2cents.gif]

Walk away.

If you are playing games with him you are still engaged, whether you like it or not. He isn't worth your energy. Go find some other fun friends to hang out with and party elsewhere this St. Paddy's Day! There has to be lots going on where you are!

If anything, this latest play on his part should make you even more sure that you don't need this jerk in your life. You have lots of better things to do. []

I totally agree with Jeano! I think it would be best to remove yourself from the situation and not attend the party at all. If you think about it, no attention is worse than negative attention. What he wants is to see you and have you see him with some other girl. If you aren't there then none of that can happen.

Also, I've found that it's always better to take the high road. The low road can be very tempting and feels good at the time, but there are always negative repercussions. It feels so much better in the long run knowing that you did the right thing- which is not being mean or petty. I know from experience that it's just not worth it and only causes more problems.

While you're probably getting better advice from everyone else... this is my take:

After nearly 3 yrs out of a relationship (I took the high road) and I, to this day, regret it. It will probably END things for good (and I'm pretty positive that there is part of you and him that aren't completely positive it's over.. even though you've been so brave and good through this). It will hurt him, but F*** him. He hurt you. It's spiteful... but so is calling you to tell you he's bringing a date.

Granted I do not know what it feels like, in hindsight, to take the 'other road' so to speak. So, I may well regret THAT to this day, if I had. But who knows. I say, what a complete $*@& and you shouldn't feel badly for one second WHICHEVER decision you make.

Make the decision that you feel you will most likely NOT regret in a year from now. Cause Sunday won't matter nearly as much as the long term.

Goodluck!! ((HUGS))

I'm not for game playing especially when you're trying to extricate yourself from a long term relationship. It only sends mixed signals and will bite you in the a$$.

Paula

Revenge is a dish best served cold.
 
People often do to themselves worse than they do to you.
 
And a few other platitudes.
 
So, you'll just let him bring who he wishes and you'll be alone to prove how "adult" you are? And your feelings are hurting but your concerned about his? It sounds like you still like him. And he's bringing a date to a party with someone he doesn't normally care to hang out with because why? Probably because he knew you'd want to go to that party and he's got to show off or hurt you for dumping him.
 
Quit worrying about his feelings and think about your own.

Thanks for the advice. I think that maybe I mis-worded/misstated something. I declined his best friend#%92s offer. There are two things that I just don#%92t do.
 
1. Date an ex#%92s friends. (To me this just causes to much confusion & I would be upset if it happened to me.)
2. Kick below the belt. (I think that it#%92s a cheap shot. & I just won‘t do it.)
 
Pretty much anything else is in bounds. What I would be doing to upset him so would have more to do with what I would wear, (he hates revealing clothes, so I haven#%92t worn them during our relationship), a jewelry selection, & a single comment. There will be no date under any circumstances.
 
While I would love to avoid him completely, St. Paddy#%92s Day is the one time of year that I get to see all 14 of my pledge sisters this year(yes I joined a sorority in college). As we began to graduate, we all agreed to get together on St. Paddy#%92s Day weekend each year so that we would always be in touch. We have gathered in a different location each year, for the past 8 years.  This is our reunion, so to speak. So I really don#%92t want to skip out, because 6 of them live out of state & since the wedding is off, this will be my chance to see them this year. (All 14 were going to be bridesmaids.) The person#%92s house where the party will be held, is 8 ½ months pregnant, & can#%92t travel much, so going elsewhere & still being together will be very likely impossible.  The reason that I am so upset is because this party will be "my" friends, yet he seems hellbent on coming.
 
 It looks to me that I will just have to grin & bear it.

The reason that I am so upset is because this party will be "my" friends, yet he seems hellbent on coming.

 
That's the crux right there, isn't it? I, too, wonder why he just has to attend if he wasn't particularly close friends with them, any way.
 
So, put on a pair of daisy duke's and either a tube top or, even better, use two bandannas for a halter top.