What a waste of 4 years

Oh, wow, I am so sorry!  That has to be terrible.  I don't know what to say that would make you feel better, but just make the choices you need to make for YOU.  It didn't sound as if he was falling over himself trying to get to forgive him, so maybe it was his way of bringing it to your attention to be a wuss from calling it off.  In any event, a wedding so soon after this would probably not be wise, so good for you in making the tough choice on that. 
 
Hugs and best wishes in this most difficult time for you.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. The only advice I can offer is to reach out to family and friends. Don't hole yourself away and isolate yourself from everything, as appealing as it may seem right now. Try to get out and do things with those you know you can count on - they will help you get through this more than you know. Keep yourself busy. Time really does heal all wounds.
 
On another note, I do have to agree with Glenda in saying that all things do happen for a reason. Eventually, you'll find out what that reason is.
 
Stay strong - we're all here for you.

Amanda, I have nothing to add to what's been said.  Things DO happen for a reason.  You can't see the reason now but it will be clear to you later.  (warmest hugs)

. A woman who sleeps with a man she KNOWS is taken is JUST as guilty as the man. Telling you that you shouldn't be surprised is her way of saying "I'm not a homewrecking sl*t...no really, I'm not!"

 
A sentiment that might make you feel better, but let's not let forget who is truly guilty. And it seems you do, Amanda.  I have to say, good for you.  I like your strength.  I know it's not easy to be betrayed, but, like everyone else said, good thing you know now.  My thoughts are with you and it sounds like you have good family to help you through. 

I am so sorry you are having to go thru this.  It hurts and can be devastating but remember *YOU DID NOTHING WRONG*.  Stay strong and lean on family and friends - they love you and mean well even when they say stupid things

I am so sorry. I know that doesn't help. I have been there. Many, many years ago. I was engaged to a boy ( we were only 1 It ended badly, I thought I'd never love again. Two years later I met my Hubbie and have never looked back. I  finally knew what true love really was.  I write this because you say youv'e lost 4yrs. You haven't. Youv'e gained incredible insight, you have learned in 4yrs , exactly what you have needed to learn, nothing is by accident. Whatever will be, I don't want ot be judgemental, however, sometimes it's because you have yet to meet your one in a million. Be strong, you are in our thoughts.

Much like your Dobermans, you are a being of class and dignity with all the capability to tear his ass to shreds.  And all the rights, too. 
 
I have faith that you will be ok - and your phone ringing off the hook tells says you have a great support system.  I am angry for/with you and have nothing but offers to send a Schutzhund dog to grab his ass... or something else.
(I don't mean to diminsh your pain, just trying to put a brief smile on your face.)

ORIGINAL: twelvepaws

. A woman who sleeps with a man she KNOWS is taken is JUST as guilty as the man. Telling you that you shouldn't be surprised is her way of saying "I'm not a homewrecking sl*t...no really, I'm not!"

A sentiment that might make you feel better, but let's not let forget who is truly guilty. And it seems you do, Amanda.  I have to say, good for you.  I like your strength.  I know it's not easy to be betrayed, but, like everyone else said, good thing you know now.  My thoughts are with you and it sounds like you have good family to help you through. 

I'm sorry.  I wasn't for a single second trying to shift the focus off the man, who is truly the guilty party here. 
Again, Amanda, I am very sorry.

Kate

Oh Amanda! I know you are devastated and feeling betrayed. I've been there, but I was married already when it happened. So take time to grieve for the loss of the relationship, the trust and the love. You WILL learn and grow from this and it will make your next relationship stronger. But for now, take time to cry and eat ice cream and spend too much money on shoes or whatever else it takes for you to get through the next months. It will be hard because you will be thinking "what if", "I would have been married today" etc., every day, but the road that life would have taken is covered in land mines, you escaped that. Tell yourself EVERY DAY, "I avoided a DISASTER of a life!"
Think of yourself as just having undergone emergency surgery to remove a deadly tumor that you didn't even know you had a few days ago. It's painful and the recovery will be long, but you have a new life now. It will take adjustment, but you are cancer-free now!

wow, i am really glad you found out before the wedding. I'm so sorry this had to happen to you...it's not fair. I hope he feels absolutley terrible.

Oh God, I'm so sorry, what scum!!!! I can't imagine how hard this must be, but you have my thoughts and prayers

Saveastray,

I really dig the way you put this.

Paula

So sorry, Amanda. I know you are positively numb right now - I recall that feeling.  Shocked, stunned, numb.  Empty.
 
And you're going to feel hurt and angry.  And even angry at yourself.  Don't let what she said make you doubt yourself.  You were not wrong to trust and to have faith. He was wrong to betray it, she was wrong to be party to it.  When you had an inkling of something wrong, you followed it through and had the courage to act on it.  Remember that.
 
Take care. 

I'm so sorry this happened. []

Amanda, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this kind of crap, but like everyone said, better now than after the wedding.  She must be a real piece of work,  huh?  She knows he's taken, but she excuses it with "Well, you're in Texas and he's here so what do you expect?" I think in a very short time he'll be kicking himself for screwing this up, if he isn't already.
 
Joyce