Dog Community

What a waste of 4 years

Posted : 3/12/2007 11:01:04 PM

I called of my wedding today. I found out that my BF has been seeing someone else while he has been working in Atlanta. I was paying bills last night & went to pay the cell phone bill & realized that our phone bill seemed a little high. Since the phone bill is for Bf, my Little Brother & my phones, I checked to see who went over their usual minutes. I expected that my Lil Bro ran over & was shocked to see that it was the BF who had ran way over his usual mins. I looked at the call log to see if it was calls from his job (the company pays for these calls) found a number that I didn#%92t recognize. I assumed that this was another work number until I saw that most of these calls & texts were sent late at night. I called the number & spoke to the woman on the other end of the line. She was very nice, even admitting that she knew all about me. She stated that since I am in Texas & he is there that I shouldn#%92t be surprised. As soon as I got off the phone to her, I called him & all he could say was that he was sorry, that he had really messed up & he really did love me. Then he said that I should really think about things before I made any sudden decisions. I just hung up on him. After serious consideration last night, I called our wedding planner this morning & asked her to start canceling things, as there will be no wedding. I am still in shock. My phone won#%92t stop ringing with family & friends calling to check on me. I can#%92t believe that I have spent the last 4 years with this man who I thought was perfect for me only for this to happen 76 days before our wedding.

Xebby

Posted : 3/12/2007 11:06:22 PM

Oh no, I don't know what to say other then we are here for you. I hope everything works out from now on. Oh, I'm not good at these things but I really do hope your going to be alright.

*hugs*

jennie_c_d

Posted : 3/12/2007 11:07:58 PM

((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry. That sucks.

bluelighting

Posted : 3/12/2007 11:40:04 PM

Oh Amanda, I'm so sorry. We are here for you.

((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

jjsmom06

Posted : 3/12/2007 11:41:08 PM

I am so sorry that you are going through this and I have to say as hard as it is that it is good you found this out now and not 78 days from now…[&o]

This seems REALLY lame...very trite but I have to do it. Sometimes there is a song that makes you look at life a little differently and in situations like this it can really help give you perspective. It may NOT do anything to help ease your pain right now but I am going to post this anyway…

The song is by Regina Spektor (who btw I think I have a girl crush on[

] ..she is super talented!) It is called "On the Radio” and the song is VERY weird (as is most of her stuff) but the first ½ the song I have very little clue what she is even talking about and then you get about 1 minute and 30 seconds into it and she has these lines about life:

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again

Here is the song on you tube... listen to it and when you get about 1 minute and 30 seconds into it READ these lyrics I have posted. I know it sounds very weird and lame of me to offer THIS for advice, but I know for me and for several others I know nothing speaks louder about life than these words here...

[linkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSJQ1St1OnQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSJQ1St1OnQ[/link]

I am so sorry you are going through this Amanda and I wish you all the best...
Shelly

Roxie865

Posted : 3/12/2007 11:53:16 PM

I can't say anything better than what anyone else has posted ...

However, it's better that you know now, just like Shel said. At least you didn't marry the tool and then find out about this. I firmly believe in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" idea, so it's obvious that all trust with this guy is out the window. It's a shame that he did it.

Hopefully, the pain will not last too long, and you can find a way to move on. Good luck.

lorib

Posted : 3/13/2007 12:11:25 AM

I agree with everyone else. Better to know now than after the wedding. I know it really hurts right now, but be strong. You might mention to the "other woman" that if he cheated on you, he will probably cheat on her as well. OTOH, maybe the two of you can gang up on HIM.

Raja19

Posted : 3/13/2007 2:40:28 AM

Oh my gosh I don't think I have any words that could make things much better for you, but I am sorry and we're all here for you.

RoyallyYours

Posted : 3/13/2007 2:51:40 AM

{{{Hugs}}} I'm so very sorry. I don't know what I would do in your position. Just be glad that you found out now instead of years down the road. What a rodent that guy is.[:@]

Benedict

Posted : 3/13/2007 4:45:30 AM

ORIGINAL: BEVOLASVEGAS
I called the number & spoke to the woman on the other end of the line. She was very nice, even admitting that she knew all about me. She stated that since I am in Texas & he is there that I shouldn't be surprised.

Wait, wait, wait......WHAT?!

On my moral compass, any woman who unknowingly sleeps with a man who is already taken is innocent. A woman who sleeps with a man she KNOWS is taken is JUST as guilty as the man. Telling you that you shouldn't be surprised is her way of saying "I'm not a homewrecking sl*t...no really, I'm not!"

You have every right to be a) surprised and b) madder than hell.

I am so very, very sorry Amanda. (((hugs)))

Kate

dubilpie

Posted : 3/13/2007 4:51:29 AM

I am very sorry.

ron2

Posted : 3/13/2007 5:20:50 AM

This is a loss of several things for you and I am sorry for your loss. It's tough but so are you and you will survive this.

glenmar

Posted : 3/13/2007 5:29:21 AM

Oh wow! This sucks and I don't know what to tell you.

I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Who knew that I'd ever be grateful to snakes for saving my husbands life?? But they turned up in my yard, terrified me and did just that. But it wasn't until AFTER the fact that I understood the why, and sometimes we never do get to know.

So, what I'm gonna give you is a bit of motherly type advise. Be good to yourself, do NOT accept any blame for what HE did, and know that you are a far better person than he is. Should you decide, down the road, that you CAN forgive and forget, you're a better woman that I, but follow your true heart....don't let anyone pressure you into forgiving a "last fling". And, know that you did NOT deserve his indiscretions. YOU did nothing in any way shape or form to cause them.

And, of course, sending along the standard HUGS!!

paulaedwina

Posted : 3/13/2007 6:27:12 AM

I'm very sorry. This absolutely sucks, but it's a sight better than marrying the lying whore and having him bring you home some kind of disease like HIV or herpes from one of his current whores. And you made a wiser decision than most - how many women marry hoping he'll change or come to his senses. This would not have been a good start to a 50yr relationship.

Paula

lisa baker

Posted : 3/13/2007 6:55:57 AM

I am so sorry. It is so hard to find out someone we trusted so much did not deserve the trust. Do not think of this as wasting 4yrs... Everything that happens to us through out our lives has an impact on who we are. You will, at some point look back at this and be thankful for the lessons you received that made you the person you have become.

In the meantime...while you are healing I wish you the very best.