corvus
Posted : 2/7/2007 5:57:55 PM
My understanding of the dilemma of forgiveness comes from personal experience. I'm not a religious person, but I do very much believe in God as a kind and loving being that gives us both unconditional love and eternal forgiveness. Forgiveness is an amazing gift that few people I have met can truly appreciate. No one can quite believe that it's as simple as asking. Everyone wants to know what the catch is. Everyone wants to know how it can be that a person who lives a life of sin can be given the same treatment as a person who works hard to be good all their life. We think we should be measured by our deeds.
My experience is that once you accept that forgiveness, it's very hard to do the kind of bad things that used to be so easy. When you realise, really realise, that someone loves you so much that they wipe the slate clean for you every single time you do something mean or stupid or base or just morally wrong.... every single time, just as instantly, no matter how bad what you did was, well, you find yourself changing your tunes a little. You think, if someone can be like that towards me, the least I can do is try to do right by them.
I know a story about a man who was a devil worshipper. He went about as far from God as I think you can go. He not only did bad things, but he did them while believing that God was watching, and he did them just to show his disrespect and disdain of God. Eventually, he began to realise that it wasn't a nice way to live. The people he mixed with were all about force and pain and he felt that even if he wanted to take a break from it, they wouldn't let him. Coming to terms with the fact that he was no longer in control of his future and his actions brought him slinking back to God, more for protection than anything else. He didn't even say sorry. As an enemy of God, he already knew how it all worked. Just coming back was the only thing he had to do. He was forgiven instantly and that was it. A lifetime of downright evil wiped away in an instant as if it never was. That's what the gift of forgiveness is.
It's not a matter of you can be real bad and never have to worry about the consequeces. The only one that can judge you is yourself. I see heaven and hell not as incentives for good behaviour, but as something you have control over. I believe that everyone is inherently good enough to know when they do bad things and on some level know that it's wrong. Knowing that you've done something wrong is not a nice feeling, but knowing that you've done something good is a wonderful feeling. It's more self-regulating than people think. Thinking only of yourself and your immediate enjoyment seems easy, but if you buy into this idea that someone loves you so much that they will forgive whatever crap you get up to, then it becomes a lot harder.