Spanking

For all the same reasons that I don't think you should hit your dog, I also don't think you should hit your kid.

I dont think is as much the pain but the simple act that your parents are showing you that they are being serious about it, when they start grabbing other stuff to hit you with then that should be illegal, that shows that the goal is to inflict pain

The law in some of those Estates says that you should not spank your kid if he is under 3 years old, after that age is "allowed" but is not like the 3 year old kid would call the police anyway. Some people are complaning that the goverment should not tell the parents how to raise their kids

After seeing some teenagers making fun of overweight people, small people and almost anything that is "different" for them when they dont even know those persons i wonder if some spanking would be useful

Oh boy, I see this thread's future and it is 8 pages long, LOL...

I don't have kids yet so I'm sure that DQ's my opinion but I don't plan to spank my future children. I don't think it's right and I think there are better ways to discipline (and I was spanked as a kid btw), I'll just leave it at that.

For all the same reasons that I don't think you should hit your dog, I also don't think you should hit your kid.

 
I TOTALLY agree with this intellectually  - but emotionally, sometimes it's really HARD to not smack 'em when they have decided to push you as FAR as they possibly can, just to see what you'll do.  I've never actually done it, but by GOD I've wanted to. 

I'll admit I was spanked as a kid also but I was hurt more by the words my mom said over her actions.  When she was angry at me she often told me I was fat, IMO telling a 12 year old she's fat does more harm than a pat on the butt.  I think it was also her way of getting stress out, she was a twig till she got pregnant with me and even now blames me for her weight problems (not that she really has any)

Seems spanking and verbal abuse fall in the same category but how can you control it?

ORIGINAL: jones
Oh boy, I see this thread's future and it is 8 pages long, LOL...

 
I TOTALLY agree!  [sm=lol.gif]
 
As for the spanking, I do agree with it......to a point.  Personally, if I need to and nothing else works I will.  I would rather not, but if that is the ONLY way that works, then so be it.  I have known some children that spanking was the only form of punishment that worked.  One specific kid I know the parents tried timeouts, grounding, reasoning, bargaining, no fun activities, talking to him, you name it and they tried it.  They tried for over a year NOT to spank when he misbehaved (which was over a year of DAILY problems).  Finally they broke down and spanked him and it worked.  He is behaving better now, he still has his "hiccups" but it's not a daily problem. 
 
There is a VERY fine line between spanking and abuse.  I do NOT belive in using anything other than your hand (and even that is a fine line).

My mom only spanked me when I had done something dangerous and she wanted to make an impression (like if I ran out into the street or something).  I honestly don't even remember ever being spanked, so it couldn't have done anything to harmful to me.  My mom was a "chose you consquence" type mom and she did say that one time I asked to be spanked rather than have a toy taken away or have to to a chore.  She said she was horrified and refused to spank me.  As a teenager I do remember being slapped across the face once, but TRUST ME I deserved it--I had a mouth on me.

DH was spanked as a kid more frequently.  When his mom would do it he said they (there are 8 kids in his family) would just laugh at her, but there was no laughing when his dad did it. 

I honestly don't know what we'll do if we have kids.  We might follow my mom's policy, but I know we will not spank as frequently as his parnets did.

Xebby this always causes SUCH  a big stink. People draw lines and take sides..lol.
 
What is important to me is that before,during, and after ANY punishment...you remain calm...not do it angrily...and be sure to touch base afterward to make sure the child is reassured...the message was received...and you both end positively. Time outs are just as traumatic if they are done when a parent is angry and the door is slammed or the child is roughly "placed" into time out...or forced to stay there if genuinely afraid and unsure of what's going to happen to them, etc.
 
It is generational. It is also cultural.
 
Many stats and studies exist to bear out either side of the arguement you'd like...that spanking increases aggression....and then others that show the decline of spanking has concurrently resulted in higher rates of youth crime and acts of aggression. Some of the lowest spanking countries have the highest youth crime rates...connected? who knows...just as likely to NOT be...as to be...IMO.
 
First problem...what is a spank?...IMO a spank is an open handed pop on the bottom...one time..not even twice. Not everyone agrees on even this first thing...[]
 
Second problem...what word do you use for it? Spank? Whoop? Hit? Belt? Smack? Whallop? Notice how the different words conjure up different emotions when you say them aloud to yourself.
 
Third problem....what is the consequence of doing it...or not doing it? Problem is you cannot know for sure...until your child is a grown person...it may have no effect...it may have a huge effect, positive OR negative. The problem with studies is that they are always done on other people...not your own children.
 
Fourth problem...anecdotal evidence.
One must look deeper into all anecdotal evidence...maybe the spanking family with wild aggressive kids,  would have better behaved children...if they stopped spanking because ALL they do is spank...they do not talk, discuss, or seem interested in "why" the child is misbehaving. Maybe the non spanking family have mouthy, obnoxious kids because ALL they do..it 'talk it out'....and their kids have caught on (as they always seem to) that there is really nothing beyond the talk....no real consequences to bad behavior...and they have none of the respect for their "parent/best friend" that they should have. Who really knows?
 
I can only go by my experience in life...I was spanked (mother)...I was also beaten (stepfather)...therefor I consider there to be a big difference in the two.
 
Spanking is not nor should it be a power trip, or an emotional response, it is a one time consequence,...and should the same exact situation occur again...more spanking is not the answer...it didn't work the first time did it? lol...
 
I can only look around at what I see in the world today. I see some pretty obnoxious children and teenagers....and I don't know why that is. Nothing to do with spanking or lack thereof...and more to do with lack of  TIME and effort from their parents? Entirely possible.
 
Who should have the conch in the parent child relationship...because someone must be in charge...it is not  partnership...that is a marriage. I do not think the government should have that conch in the case of spanking. If spanking is truly the root of all evil and wild aggressive behavior in children and young adults...peer pressure will continue to make it less and less common (it's already happening after all)...generations of non spankers will grow and pass that along...and it will be completely phased out soon enough...all on it's own. And if/when that happens...the concurrent DROP in youth criminal offenses, school violence, (which isn't happening right now BTW) etc....will prove that the non spanking crowd were right all along. I think it's fine to wait for that to happen...without government assistance.

BTW..no spanking under the age given in the new law proposed..that being 3...sounds about right to me. Children even at 3..are only just beginning to understand about consequence. They need to have that knowledge first to make ANY punishment/correction effective. Prior to that...slap yourself for allowing whatever happened...to happen...and do your best to keep it from occuring again.

I have spanked my son. Spanking is a last resort thing. The thing is I rarely have to resort to spanking my son. Hell, I can't even remember the last time I spanked him. Usually the "look" is enough to get him to behave and if it doesn't, Lord help him.

I think my parents spanked us, but honestly I can't remember so I guess it didn't leave that much of an impression.  I do know that my brother used to ask my mom to spank him vs. sending him to his room.  He explained it once to me, "going to your room is boring, getting spanked lasts two seconds and then you can go on your way".  []
 
I don't know what we will do.  I agree with Gina that a spanking is a open handed pat on the butt, once, not repeated.  If that's it then I don't see anything wrong with it. 
 
Personally, I was way more intimiated by my dad's voice when he was yelling at me vs. the threat of getting spanked. 

I don't believe in spanking.  I don't think it helps the situation,  nor does it teach the child anything but that you are scary.  It is just a way for parents to relieve thier own stress.  A serious talking to face to face where you can get across to the child properly is much much more effective.

That said, I have spanked Kale once.  He cried for a bit, but I think mostly because it hurt his feelings.  You know the saying "It hurts me more than it hurts you"?  OMG!  I felt like the worst mom on the planet.  Its the only time I have ever felt like physically hurting myself before.  It was one of those times that it was either I smacked his butt or I cried in front of him.  After that I have always opted to cry in front of him.  I'll hunker down in front of him and let himknow just how much his actions hurt me.  I do believe it leaves more of an impression on him than hitting him ever would.  He has never ever repeated any of those behaviours.  He is a very empathetic child though.  Some kids arent.

i never ever thought i would spank a child, i was one of those people that thought it was just horrible and worthless. then i had my own kid. and i tell you what, sometimes it is the only remaining option, and ya know what else? it works.

now we try to punish with related consequences. for example, if she doesn't pick up her toys, she wont be allowed to play with them the rest of the day. if she pesters the dog and takes one of his toys, i put one of hers up for the day. which works, most of the time, but all kids are rebellious and what would be better? timeout? yeah i cannot keep my kid still for 2 seconds, so thats not an option. yelling? i don't think so, i hate yelling, i think it does alot more damage than a spanking would.

 if my daughter is doing something that could potentially hurt her, like persistantly running on the stairs, you are darn well right i spank her, it gets her to stop, and it hurts alot less than it would if she fell and broke her neck.

i dont agree with spanking as a primary form of punishment and i would never spank my daughter in public, she doesnt need to be humiliated on top of being punished. but i do believe that sometimes it is the only thing that works.

i have a rule of thumb on spanking though, the first one is for the child, any that come after that are unnecessary and only being done out of anger. i've only had to spank my child a few times and it has saved me and her from alot of stress and dangerous situations.

this cannot even be applied to dogs though, you cannot exactly explain to the dog why it is being spanked [8|]

My parents spanked me, although only one, by mom, is especially memorable.  []  I was spanked several times in school, with a board, 3 whacks each time.  I deserved all of them with the possible exception of once.  For me, it was effective.
 
Now, instead of spanking kids in school when they misbehave, they call it ADHD and medicate them.  What is the world coming to?
 
Spanking has been used to discipline kids for generations.  There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that it is effective.
 
I sure don't need the governement telling me how to discipline my kids.  I don't need the government telling me I can't smoke in a bar.  I don't need the government telling me I have to wear a seatbelt in my car or a helmet when I ride a motorcycle.  My God, what is the world coming to where we accept this level of government interference in our lives?  Are we really so stupid that we have to depend on others to decide what is best for us and our families? 
 
Our elected representatives work for us, not the other way around.  Unfortunately, before they get that message, WE have to get that message.