Long overdue Mom update

So, looks like we are on the upward side of a long haul at least.

 
I'm so glad to hear that.  Tell her to keep that trend up.

Glenda - I'm glad to hear that she's somewhat stable but I'm just curious what type of rehab they'll be doing.  If I remember right, she had lots of cuts and abrasions from the fall, but she didn't break anything right?  Are they just going to work on building her strength back up?  Is it possible that she'll be able to return home and live alone once they release her?  I hope that your sister is just being negative about the fading quickly part.  I guess everyone's perceptions are different and maybe she's just trying to prepare herself for the worst.  I see no reason not to hope and pray for the best outcome though, so that's where my thoughts will be for your mom.

Here's to a healthier New Year where the only big event is how much you raise for MS.
 

The only thing broken was a chipped bone in one thumb.  But, from the sodium bottoming out, the seizures and the trauma to her body, plus the several days not being "with us", she's got some work to do to build her strength back up.  For the most part, I find her mind to be sharp still.  Heck, I get fuzzy when I'm tired, and this poor woman has gone from a hospital room to her new room and the day they admitted her THERE she was evaluated for hours on end.  Plus being sick still....I think she's down to "just" diaherra now......but this flu bug started on Tuesday so it's been a long haul for her.  She needs to do a bit of Occupational Therapy.....learning how to safely use the walker if it's needed long term, learning how to safely move without it and to relearn how to do some standard things like getting her tiny little body out of bed without injuring herself.....as short as Mother is, that can be a challenge.
 
It honestly depends on what doc you listen to as to whether or not she can go home again.  I truely think that once she gets her strength back, is able to get around safely without a walker and have some structure to her days that she'll be fine to go home.
 
Sis is all bent because her house isn't as spotless as it normally is...that's NOT like Mother according to her.  Well, actually, it IS like Mother since Dad died to not be so darned anal about everything.  Mom admitted to me that she actually does sometimes walk in the house with her shoes on!  (GASP...sis would wet herself if she knew that)  And another thing that upset her was that she had taken meals over so Mom would have something to eat if she wasn't around and Mom left them.  I don't know how to nicely tell my vegan sister, but her cooking is rather bland and boring.  Oh, and overloaded with ONIONS...she uses onions in absolutely everything...somehow onions just don't cut it in chicken soup......oddly, anything I take to Mom gets eaten rather quickly.......
 
Sis is worn out, as are we all.  And she can't see beyond her gloom covered glasses.  I am optimistic and hope that you'll all continue to think good thots and send prayers for a full recovery.

I am sorry you have all been so sick on top of the exhaustion that having someone in the hospital brings on.  Hopefully you can keep mom convinced that if she can do what needs to be done she will be able to go home again and keep her spirits up.  I know that when people are faced with a nursing home when they are still sane and it wasn't by their choice, they feel like they have lost their independence and can get down about it.  It actually can be a wonderful place though where they can keep their independence and hopefully their health too.  It is hard to see it that way though when you don't want to be there which the majority of people don't.  My dad has worked in nursing homes my entire life and there are so many different extremes of cases in the different people there.  I guess it also depends on the calibur of the other people there as well.  I know when my grandmother was in one there were organized social events and outings, and a beauty shop there and everything.  If she had been at home by herself and not allowed to drive, she would have had so much less indepedence then having everything right there for her and people to socialize with....but often times that is now how they see it.  And having a nursing home doctor is probably a great thing for her at this point.  Hopefully he can get her feeling much better! 
 
Thanks for the update.  I have been wondering how she was doing and continue to keep her in my thoughts. 

They do have a beauty shop, altho Mom's hair is so thin, and has been for years, that she wears a wig, but oldest Sis got her scheduled for a manicure every week.  They do have a ton of activities there and I believe that today she was going to a travel-logue and then to a church service this afternoon.  That's a LOT for her when she hasn't been feeling well because of the flu.  But, they post the daily stuff that's planned in the diningroom every day, and they DO have an ice cream parlor that peaks her interest!
 
My edit managed to vanish, but that's probably for the best....I was moaning about how sick I've been with this flu....and I'm 30 years younger than Mom and pretty healthy overall, so I can just imagine how badly it's kicked her butt.  I really think that the "decline" sis thinks she's seeing is the after effects of this flu.  She and the oldest sis both kept going back and re-exposing her, and tried to lay a guilt trip on me because I wouldnt' do the same.  I tried to go shopping yesterday since the dogs needed supplies.  I had to leave the store and let DH finish up for me.  The smell of overripe bananas of all things had me gagging!  And I don't throw up....has been years since I've been sick enough to really upchuck.  I sure made up for lost time!
 
I've talked to Mom (and my own doctor) and I honestly believe that I did the right thing by staying away and not exposing her to what could be another strain of the flu, or passing it back to her yet again.  A friend told me yesterday, when I was feeling like a complete slacker and a looser that it sounded like the sisters are used to me doing the lionshare of the work.  That is certainly true of the oldest one....she has not come up for the months of hospital visits, leaving the sitting for hours on end to me and the other sis, but mostly to me.  Since I KNOW that Mom wants us girls to pull together as a family, I didn't tell the old bat that SHE had no room to talk or to suggest I spend my lunch hours with Mom from here out.....I've been doing that each and every time she's been in the hospital and I did remind her of that.  But, you guys would be proud of me...I held my temper and didn't tell her what I think of her for NOT being here before, for taking her THREE week cruise through Greece earlier in the year.....and for, in general, being a selfish old bat.  Sometimes I wish I'd been an only child.....

That's great news, Glenda.  I think in a nursing home you're more likely to find geriatric specialists and they'll be able to spot things that a regular MD might overlook. Hope everything continues to spiral upward for all of you.
 
Joyce

I will keep your mother in my prayers that she continues on this upswing. She sounds like a fighter.  I agree with Ron and hope that the upcoming year has very mild dilemmas and none that include ones health.

As for your family, keep venting here. We will be your sympathetic ear.  Keep up the optimism. It can do wonders to many situations.


--Sara

Sending good health vibes your way.

Sorry to hear that you've been ill with the flu.  Sending some feel good vibes for a speedy recovery!  And I hope that the New Year has a full recovery in store for mom!

This comes from the "cholesterol" thread
 

I honestly don't see her attitudes towards authority figures changing.  She is a product of her generation and all that goes with it.  However, when we were talking about Dr. S (he's the CUTE one) she commented that he could sure teach the old sourpuss Dr. Dork a thing or two about dealing with people!  So, I'm pretty sure when she has the choice, she'll find a doc who is not just technically outstanding, but understands people as well.  Honestly, I wonder if this guy is bi-polar.

Her kidney doc IS an old guy and he is wonderful...he retires in March, and is surely well past 65 already.  One of the things HE said was that you can't expect an 80 years old blood pressure to stay as low as a 20 or 30 year olds would.....so basically, QUIT trying to keep her bp at 120/70.  I really respect him

But, ya know?  We have really hijacked this thread...and I do have an Update on Mom thread going on in NDR......

 
Well, I hope that seeing the difference in the bed side manners between dr Dork, and dr Hottie will be enough to seek a dr who'll have the compassion to explain things thoroughly to her.
 
Hey, no disprespect intended towards the older doctors!  I just meant that some  of them become so set in their ways that they can't seem to accept newer techniques, no matter how much better it may be for the patient.  But, that goes for all fields, not just medicine; some people refuse to accept change.
 
Seems that the only dr, from what I've read, that was causing mom the grief was dr Dork.  The kidney dr is taking mom's age into consideration and dr Hottie was looking at mom's overall health.  I just hope for mom's sake, as well as your entire family, that she continues under the care of doctors that will help her recover, instead of writing her off the way dr Dork did!

I think sorting out paren't's doctors is one of THE most frustrating things for those of us whose parents are growing less firm.  My parents, in the past, have been SO prone to be dazzled and think Dr. X is absolutely incredible til they find out months later the surgery was totally fubared and the doc 'retired' and apparently had a drug problem (yep that one happened a few years ago). 
 
My parents too are total products of their generation and they don't want to do any research nor listen to anything alternative (and I suspect that is because a lot of alternative meds hark back to herbals which is what THEIR generation turned to pharmaceuticals as being 'new and improved'). 
 
Glenda, glad you're feeling better.  I have a friend who works at a nursing home (she teaches in a daycare that is part of their multi-generational facility) -- and there are times when they have to 'close' the entire facility to visitors because people are so unthinking as to bring in a bug when people are in such debilitated shape.
 
It's not just for YOUR mother -- but that cough, sneeze or bacteria you inadvertently leave behind as you touch an elevator button or handrail can be deadly to someone with a compromised immune system.  YOU were the smart one.  Shame on your sisters!

Callie, you have NO idea how much I needed to hear that.  I just got yet another email from Sis telling me "we all have to make the decision right for us, BUT..........."
 
Darn it, I CALLED my doctor yesterday.  My doctor asked me to stay away...my doctor was concerned that I might be his next patient he has to admit with the flu and very upset about the rapid weight loss.    PART of what Mom has (the diaherra) IS caused by the antibiotics and is not airborne, but she also picked up a virus in the hospital or from one of the sisters and by golly that for sure is airborne.  I'm sooo tired of being browbeaten for trying to do the right thing.
 
I'm sick to death of hearing that SHE gave up her trip to FL, that SHE hasn't given her kids or grandkids their Christmas gifts yet, that SHE didn't go for the inlaw Christmas, that SHE is paying Mom's bills.....well gosh, Mom's mail is being delivered to HER AND she's on Mother's checking account......doing Mother's laundry (I've offered, and when Mom threw up all over her sweater and blanket in the hospital, DH brought it home and washed it all) taking care of Mom's house...well again, I'd be happy to do that, but SHE has the keys to the house and won't let the rest of us go INTO the house....so yeah, I guess in short I'm pretty fed up with her and REALLY getting tired of her not sharing the load so she can play martyr.  Play martyr all you want Sis, but stop trying to make the REST of us feel guilty.
 
And my oldest sister....grrrrrr!!  I won't even GO there!

Glenda, if you're feeling even the teensiest bit guilty for not going to visit while you were ill (and I sense you are []), then please stop.  In our area, they have had to close a nursing home to visitors recently because of an outbreak of the Norvovirus (sp?).  They've also had an outbreak of it at a local hospital and I heard just yesterday of an outbreak at a hospital in San Francisco.  It's ridiculous for anyone to imply that you should've visited when you were that sick.  I'm pretty darn sure that the other families who have loved ones there appreciate you being sensible enough to not spread any nasty bugs.  

On a lighter note, the ice cream parlor and beauty salon sound like some pretty nice amenities and that's a wonderful thing for your mom.  I remember one of the places my dad was, they had a piano and every afternoon someone would play some old show tunes and most of the residents would gather around and have a good time.  It was uplifting to see them enjoying themselves. My dad sure would've loved an ice cream parlor though [].