We need some powerful prayers please

Glenda - I hope a good nights sleep and a new day bring something more positive for you all.  Unfortunately, at times like this, when you really need family to pull together, things can get pretty ugly.  It does sound like you got dumped on and the comment about your son was certainly uncalled for and hurtful.  I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of everything else.  Hope your mom has some improvement today and you can don't have anymore problems with the other members of the family.

Glenda, just letting you know you guys are still in my prayers.  I'm sorry you had to endure your sis being just down right ugly with you, especially when you need to be supportive for each other.  raying that with each day, your mom receives better news and comes out of the fog she's in.

Even though I'm an honorary tough old broad, you are the real deal, with a core made of diamond. Diamonds, BTW, are used in drilling bits to drill through metal and rock.
 
When someone dumps on you, that is because the load is too heavy for them, otherwise, they would carry their burden. So, sidestep what isn't yours to carry.
 
The crap loaded on you isn't yours to carry, so don't pay attention to it and realize that it is a sign of weakness in others. At most, you can have pity for them but don't accept the meaning of their statements as fact. Especially when you know better that you have gone above and beyond the call.
 
I know your wings get achy and cramped but they are still there.

Good ost, Ron.  Glenda, I think you sister is just dumping her stress on you (not that you need any more)  because she has nowhere else to dump it. And I know ... it's very hard to tune it out when family members are saying hateful things to you.  She probably already feels  bad about what she said. [X(]
 
Joyce

Whoa, Dr. Ron! lol. Excellent post and on the money.
Pay attention to that boy Glenda
How is she tonight Glen?
Glenda where do you fall in the birth order? I am assuming that the "witch" is one sister and the one you refer to as "sis" is the one with the MS, and that would explain, a lot about why she is acting the way she is. But  then I may have it bass ackwards, as usual.
 

I am the youngest.  My sisters are 10, (Queen of Mean) 8, (died 11 years ago) and 6 (Sis with MS) years older than me....I was the last shot at a boy and I think the only planned pregnancy......
 
The oldest sis was fine the entire time she was here.  Sis however, is carrying around a ton of guilt that she didn't go over Saturday nite after I left and called her to tell her how worried I was about Mother.  Now, I've got my own guilt to carry because I shouldn't have left, or I could have let DS go into town to stay with her as he wanted to do.  I left because she seemed agitated that I was still there, and I told my son that going in that late would upset her, as it would have.  Sis has a lot of issues, OCD, unbelievably selfish about anyone else spending any time with her kids or grandkids and a host of other things.  Unfortunately she has my Mom's power of attorney...she lived in state and the oldest one is wierd so Mother didn't want her to handle things.  I apologized to her today....for blowing up at her (after she backed me into a corner and wouldn't let me leave until she unloaded on me and told me I need a shrink)....I'm not sure why I felt the need to do so, other than that us being at each others throats is the last thing Mom would want.......
 
So, this morning my oldest son and I had a heck of a time waking Mother up.....she kept trying to go back to sleep despite sleeping very soundly all nite.  Mike got her going and laughing...and asking for her feet to be tickled...sis showed up actually on time so I could take Mike to the airport, where of course his flight was delayed....when I got back she was sleeping again so after a bit, I figured I'd leave and come home...sis, her daughter and my second son were all there.  I did a bit of shopping since I'd done NOTHING for DH or DS for Christmas, then kept getting a nagging feeling and called the hospital.  Ryan told me that she was flashing back on Sunday morning....screaming out for help, saying that she'd fallen and was hurt.  So I turned around and went back.
 
Mother was horribly agitated....shaking her head compulsively, moaning and crying that she was in pain.  I don't know if the pain was NOW or remembered pain, but Dr. Dork was called and ordered adavan (sp) and that calmed her right down, and back to sleep.  One of the house docs came up to see her...and we all really liked him.....plus he was cute as heck.....he suggested a central line for her (pic line), which is a great idea as many times as her IV's have to be restarted, a psych consult, another excellent idea and hopefully that doc will be able to talk with her...find her in a clear moment....she has a safety sitter for tonite and I'll be back first thing in the morning again.
 
Before Mom got her meds and fell asleep, I told her that if she was ready to go, if it was time for her to go and be with daddy, that it was ok to go.  That we all love her and will miss her terribly, but that we'll be ok.  I hope to heaven that was the right thing to say.
 
I'm exhausted, the many cups of coffee are eating holes in my stomach and I need rest.  But, the candle is lit.....

I'm sorry.  I keep forgetting things.
 
This house doc said that the fog, fatigue and agitation can come from the low grade infection she's got going on as well as from her depression.
 
Also, she'll get IV pain meds, likely morphine, tonite if the pain returns.

You know, Glenda, I think that was a perfectly fine thing to say.  I really believe that a lot of the time people sort of force themselves to hang on for everyone else.  Once they realize that everyone else will be OK, they just sort of peacefully let themselves go. I'll keep some candles lit that it's not quite her time yet.
 
Joyce

I hope it was Joyce.  I don't want her to feel like I'm in any hurry for her to leave, but I do want her to know that it's ok if she is ready to go.  This is a hard place to be in, but I think it's probably harder for Mother.

There is nothing harder than not really knowing and wanting to make sure that just in case, you have given them the OK and that every last word is said.  DH had to do this with his dad this year.  We KNEW his time was limited, and at this point, it was less than 24 hour increments the docs were predicting, and he told his oldest son who called him the same night, that he would try to hold on for him.  He held on for a day and a half but just couldn't hold on long enough for his youngest son to make it back from Iceland since that is a 2 day trip.  Just be there for her.  If it is her time she will appreciate that you will help her be peaceful and if it isn't, she probably won't ever remember what you said anyway.  As much as DH loved his dad, he wanted nothing more than to NOT be there watching his dad suffer or cross over, but he was, and as bad scary as it was, I think in the long run, he will be glad that he could be there to comfort his father when he took his last breath.  Mom needs you and sis can't handle what is going on.  Thank god the mean one is there to help.  Have you talked to her about your feelings at all?  You may not feel comfortable but she just might suprise you too.  DS is awesome in my opinion.  He must be helping you to keep your spirits up and is probably the only thing keeping you going.  Knowing and seeing your mom laughing must be a good thing, as strange as it might be.... 
 
Have the doctors given you indication that she won't make it or is this just how you are feeling b/c she is so different than you have ever seen her?  It sounded to me like she is somewhat stable physicaly, although mentally she is all over the map. 
 
I think the best thing you could do is take a nice hot bath, get in bed, take a sleeping pill (or fire up a doobie[]), and get a really good nights rest.  Let those dogs love you and make you feel better.  Let DS make you laugh a little or even laugh until you cry.  Take a break.  If it isn't urgent that you be there, take a day off from the hospital or at least limit your time just a little tomorrow.  But you know best and you will do what is called for. and right for you.
 
I just don't know what the right things to say are and I hope I am comforting and not upsetting you.  We all care for you deeply here and feel your pain in our own ways.  Try to get some rest tonight and keep us posted.  Lots of prayers here still and candles lit as well.        

Yes, your words are comforting and not upsetting in the least.  We are facing some hard realities, but I've also got that eternal optimism that keeps me from being ready to say that things can't get better.
 
Sis is a bit of a fatalist....or maybe she's being more of a realist.  SHE is the one with power of attorney and she doesn't agree with a lot that my oldest sister and I say.  THREE doctors have said that when Mom is roaming around in her fog we should try to gently lead her out of it but not to the point of agitation.....so she got the speech therapist to slightly disagree with the opinions of 3 docs, mostly by the way she phrased her question, and now is certain that she's absolutely right to continue to play make believe with Mom......she's going to do whatever feels right to her, and I'm sorry, but I'll continue to do what feels right to me.....

Glenda, I haven't posted yet, but have been keeping an eye on it and thinking of you.
 
I don't think I can say anything better than what's already been said, but I'm sorry you and your family are going through such tough times- it sounds like you especially have a rather hefty load on your shoulders at the moment.
 
I'm in awe of your amazing strength and spirit- Ron's right definitely right about those wings.

Pocket and I will light a candle for you and will be sending lots of good thoughts over the Pacific. Hang in there!
 

Wow, I'm feeling a good deal more optimistic.  I called to talk with the nurse this morning and I actually had a short conversation, and a very coherent one, with Mother.  She did well last nite, realized she has her days and nites turned around, was able to tell the nurse when she needed to go to the bathroom (there had been a little opps earlier) so I am feeling a good deal more positive this morning.  Now I need to bring Sis around who insists that Mom is dying.......maybe she is, but by golly, not without a fight.

A couple of things for consideration (based on my experience with my mother)
The infection impact is real so the antibiotics often help immensely.
If available, consider getting a gerintologist (sp) on the case.  Unfortunately sometime the things done to treat one thing, negatively impact another.  The Geri MDs have a much better handle on all that.
Start looking at rehab options and eligibility requirements now, the hospitals look to discharge and that rush to find a bed was really a nightmare for my family.  We lucked out, but I wish I had known to start pushing the social work buttons earlier.
 
Prayers for a good outcome, strength and comfort continue.

SHE'S BACK!!  MOTHER CAME BACK TO US THIS MORNING.  All the way back.  She's still got some confusion but she is very alert and aware.  Thank you God and thank all of you for your prayers.  I hope that this will last, that she will stay with us mentally.
 
Of course the first thing she told me this morning was that she was "pretty disguisted with that pyschiatrist who came in to see me"!  The darned Doc mentioned the nursing home, so that was her second question and I explained it was just for rehab so that she could be safe at home.
 
No one could ASK for a better Christmas gift......