Sept 29th chat

Tracy, Dr. Sophia Yin killed herself. It was confirmed yesterday. So tragic. I feel as though I've lost a dear friend.  

The kitchen counters are done and look fantastic. I could hardly remember what I picked out, it's been so long since we chose them.Today it's cabinets but probably won't finish today. The clutter everywhere is making me stressed.  DH is home supervising and he calls me with updates. A lot of updates. I'm super busy at work and though I want to hear about what's going on with the kitchen, it's adding to my stress every time he calls to tell me some little thing.  I do appreciate that he took off work because I was supposed to but couldn't.  We desperately need to paint when everything else is done. I hate to paint.  

Jackie, you tape off the areas, I'll come paint for you.

Very tragic, Sophia Yin's suicide. We just never know what's inside someone else's head.

Had the boob squash thing this morning.

Back to the crap.

I remain stunned about Dr Yin - although my gut told me the way it was presented, that it was likely a suicide. :( She has no doubt left her mark on her field of choice. So young though and you know that as she matured even more great work would have come from her.

Totally up to my eyeballs or more here - I have to teach a course in something there is no way I can really know so I have to rely on others to make sure the materials are correct. Let me just say that they aren't working too fast on getting this done. I hate this position because I need them to make sure I have the right stuff or I could study the wrong materials

Jackie you are bringing back memories of our bathroom redo but that took like 6 wks or so. Dreadful

Tracy continued healing thoughts for your DH

Speaking of DH mine hasn't done one ounce of prep for his son's visit

I have mentioned I am too busy ...........

I am WFH again - B is so happy

Sorry folks - I know I've been not around much -- the last months have been beyond difficult  health-wise.  As is typical since I had to cave and take pharmaceuticals for the back & muscle spasm issues Ms-Suzie-Side-Effects here had to experience all the worst possible ones -- including the fact that once they got me to a therapeutic amount (which they were astounded was so incredibly low on yours truly)  -- the side effects were .... MORE muscle spasms.  Thank heavens my doctor & I finally pieced that together and I'm on a very slow wean off.  it's working, but it's all  been slow, but approaching "feeling human" again finally.

Karen -- since you've obviously taught  "focus" so well to Bugsy are you available to teach a few co-workers/family of mine that??   *grin*

I will need to email Ginger myself and Tracy -- I am SO behind.

Back to the salt mines -- can't stop for a minute.

@kpwlee

although my gut told me the way it was presented, that it was likely a suicide.

That's what my friend from the shelter was implying yesterday.  It's so sad to think of people who appear to be so happy, doing work they genuinely love, and who bring such joy and/or benefit to others -- yet they struggle with a profound sense of despair that they feel no one can help with.  Her suicide makes me think of Robin Williams.

Does anyone know if she had a family she left behind?  Surely she must've had dogs . . . I always think that pets can sometimes be the one thing that keeps a person going.  I'll always remember the actor, Mickey Rourke, saying in an awards speech that he wanted to thank his dogs because there were many days when they were the only reason he continued to get up each morning.  I hope Dr. Yin's dogs can adjust to her loss.  

On a lighter note, I'm glad to hear that things are okay so far with your remodel, Jackie.  As someone with a DH who has been home for several days, I know all  about the frequent phone call interruptions.  DH just called a few minutes ago to tell me about a coupon he got for the massage therapist he goes to.  Thanks, I can work much more productively knowing that now!

Speaking of being productive, I haven't been much today, so I better get back to my reports here on my desk!

Oh, Glenda -- I'm with you on the charm of walking through rustling leaves.  Leaves are so often soggy here that if there are any dry piles along our dog walking route, I will purposely go out of my way to walk through them, just to hear that wonderful sound!

Busy day here...again.

Oscar's new play toy is the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom. Goofball. He takes his paw and starts unrolling it; I think he likes the spinning.

Back to the grind.

Tina, several friends with cats have told me their cats do the same thing.  One friend said she started installing her roll of TP "backwards" so it rolls in the other direction.  Then if the cat plays with it, it just rolls around without TP escaping.

So, I have a work dilemma. I've not had a pay increase in over 7 years.  Partly due to the economic downturn hitting my employers hard, partly because super small companies don't always have standard employment practices like annual reviews or a focus on staff morale, etc.).  

Despite knowing my high value and nagging from DH and several friends, I've not spoken up.  I'm very uncomfortable selling myself, and all prior jobs it wasn't necessary because my employers had standard salary review practices that at least awarded cost-of-living adjustments.

Earlier this summer, I drafted a letter to present to my main boss requesting a fairly sizable increase (I did research to support the figure and outlined many reasons why I deserved it).  I dragged my feet and held on to it.  Then the mother of the family fell ill and died rather suddenly last month, so obviously I put it aside for a while.

On Monday my main boss caught me totally off guard saying they're giving me a raise.  It's not a terrible one (no raise is!), but it's about half the increase I would've requested.  Because he gave me no warning we'd be talking privately that day, I was unprepared (didn't have my letter or my notes, etc), so I just thanked him..

With push from DH and friends, I've edited that original letter requesting that the figure be renegotiated to something closer to what my proposal was going to be.  I've lost sleep all week because the thought of having to bring this up literally makes me nauseous.  

I emailed my main boss to see if he'd be available tomorrow to go over a couple things (he's not been in yet today).  He said he won't be in tomorrow, so I said it could wait until Monday.  If I stay late enough today, he may come in, but he's usually dashing in and out and has constant phone calls, thus my reason for wanting to set a time to meet.

Ugh.  Not sure why I had to share all this here.  Sorry for rambling.  I wish I were a different type of person when it comes to stuff like this.  Someone with a stronger personality and solid confidence would handle it much differently -- if I wanted to, I could hold them over a barrel (no one is indispensable, but given how things are here, it would create major problems if I left).  Anyone have a magic wand they could wave over me to turn me into something more like the average male employee who's not afraid to make demands?!  

(((Tracy)))  I am the same way.  And waiting till Monday would just mean I'd be anxious all weekend.  Makes me grateful that my current company is like your previous ones where there is a yearly review.  I hate the part of it where you review your goals and "how you did" during the previous year.  Not so much the part where my boss reviews it, that usually goes fine, but the part where I have to rate my performance makes me anxious.  Obviously you want to say you did well, but you want to be realistic as well.... its torture.

Who was it that was suddenly being asked to sell the services of the home health care she worked for?  That terrified the poor gal.

Tracy, waving my magic wand as hard as I can.  And, now hear this....you are worth TWICE what you would have asked for.  Keep that in mind when you asked for a bit more.

And this forum?  THIS is exactly the place you can dump your stuff.  That's part of what we're here for.

Wow as if this forum wasn't glitchy enough now there are ads in threads?????? Shaking my head. If it is this slow on my home network forget the remote access Tracy it is so hard to be in your position but you must do this. You deserve a proper raise. Wishing you loads of strength and luck I have lost all train of thought after seeing those ads I hope Jackie's kitchen is coming along

Thanks, ladies.  I can always count on you all for some words of support!  In my heart I know I deserve what I'm asking for (especially since I get no other benefits -- no insurance, no paid time off).  But I've never been good at things that feel like confrontation to me.  I'll keep you posted of what transpires Monday -- if he even remembers to check in with me!

Glenda, I think you're remembering Sharon -- she had to do some kind of selling that literally made her sick.  Right before the forum changed and so many people disappeared, she was about to start a new job at a university, as I recall.  I don't know if she's on Facebook, but maybe someone knows how she's doing.

Karen, I haven't seen the ads, but I only access this site from a PC, and once in a while on DH's iPad.  

A request:  I know there are only a few of us active posters left here.  If any of you are active on another type of dog/pet forum or site (besides Facebook, since I'm not on that), would you please PM me the info?  I'd hate to have nowhere to go if this one totally dies, so alternatives would be nice.  Jackie told me about one a while back; I need to check that out again.

Tracy, I know that for some people it's really tough to ask for what they deserve.  If you don't have an inner biotch to channel, borrow someone elses!

How is your DH doing with his recovery?  I so hope he is using so common sense and not being bullheaded like I was!

The thing with the facebook group is that it's more like chat, and if I go, I feel like I have to stay, or am jumping into the middle of a conversation that I maybe don't belong in.  But, I also feel that way about new forums, so I'm really hoping we can get a little miracle here!

Bright sunshine today which feels sooooo nice after two days of rain, but my gosh, it sure is chilly!  And the yard guy has already come this morning so I'll have to go take a walk and crunch through someone elses leaves!

Tracy, sent you a PM. Ads in the threads, Karen? Oh, that's classy. Kitchen is coming along. Only need the backsplash installed and that's scheduled for Monday. I wanted to paint the kitchen this weekend but will wait for the backsplash.

Tracking protection does prevent some ads. I changed my computer's settings and most of them (ads) are no longer visible on this forum. However, there are websites I use for work that I can't use when some sites that track usage are blocked. It seems to be a double-edged sword.

I'm posting an update for Ginger. I just got off the phone with her. She tried to log on but wasn't able to.  After I talked to her on Wednesday, Ron had to go to the doctor. He was having some breathing difficulty. They sent him to the hospital. He had some fluid in his lungs and that's been resolved. They were concerned about a possible heart problem so they have been running tests. He did good on the stress test. One doctor said he may need a pacemaker at some point in the future.  Ginger said hopefully he'll get released today.  She's got some good friends and neighbors checking on Ron and on her at home. She hates that she can't be at the hospital with him. She did say that some of their friends were teasing Ron that after only two days of taking care of Ginger at home he decided to escape by getting hospitalized. lol

Ginger says she's doing well. She's keeping a phone with her at all times, just in case. She's being very careful not to fall and says she's getting very good at getting around with the walker. Hot Shot and Rocky are helping. :)  

Ginger, we're all sending tons and tons of good thoughts and vibes for you and for Ron.  I know I'm not the only one who wishes I was close enough to help out.